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Small slants of afternoon light filtered through the crack in the curtains. How long had she laid there and when she rose would Samuel have finally given up and gone?
Dressing in a fresh gown, she gazed at herself in the looking glass. Her pale skin was blotched with red from tears and emotion. What a homecoming Frederick was in for. Or would it be best to just say nothing? Treat Samuel’s appearance as nothing more than a momentary diversion, for as of this moment, she realized that the baron was the man she longed for. Their life together so very close to reality that she couldn’t bear the idea of going back to the uncertainty of Samuel’s affection.
With renewed purpose, she freshened up, almost anxious to share her resolution with Chloe. Yes. Frederick was her future and she was more certain of that than ever.
If only he returns to you.
The niggling doubt resurfaced and she pressed it down, needing to believe that his love for her was as strong as he had professed.
Face washed, hair combed and in a loose chignon, she wrapped a shawl about her shoulders and looked out the window to make certain that Samuel had gone. The horse was no longer tethered to the hitching post and no sign of the man remained.
Relief seeped through her and with her step much lightened; she made her way to the parlor. As she entered the room she found that Chloe slept soundly upon the settee, her face serene.
She glanced at the mantle clock. It was nearing four and Jude would soon be home. Dinner, games and chatter lay ahead and to her sorrow, she lamented under her breath, that this was not the day that Frederick would return.
Situating herself upon the wingback chair before the fire, she watched the orange flames dance. Thoughts of Frederick marched through her mind. His smile, the way he teased her and flirted. The gentle ripples of delight the sound of his voice always brought with it. Yes, love, in its purest form was what they shared. A mutual attraction and acceptance she had always longed for. So why had she for a moment considered Samuel’s offer?
Because you don’t want be alone. There it was again, that evil whisper of doubt. She swallowed hard as if the action would end the self-loathing mistrust that her many betrayals by loved ones had brought on. Her father, her mother, Samuel. She did not want to add Frederick to the list of disappointments.
Nancy entered the parlor and dipped her knee. “Lord Arden has arrived and he’s got a guest.” The young maid’s face was alive with excitement. “He’s got a gentleman with him.”
Martha’s heart lightened. Had Frederick’s return brought the smile to Nancy’s face?
Chloe sat up slowly, her hair mussed from sleep and her usually pleasant countenance a mask of irritation. “He’s brought company home?” She smoothed her gown and tried to smooth her coif, but it was beyond the help of fingers alone.
“Aye miss. Fresh off the boat from England and a duke no less.”
Martha clenched her jaw and the knot in her stomach tightened. What game was Sexton playing? But she knew and when her gaze met Chloe’s she could see the irritation bubble into anger.
“Cousin, come with me to my bedchamber.” She reached for her and Martha dutifully went to her side. Sliding her hand around her arm, Chloe looked to the servant. “Please tell Lord Arden that I am feeling unwell and that I need a few moments to ready myself for dinner.”
“Aye miss.” She dipped her knee.
“Show them to the sitting room and tell Lord Arden that I needed Miss Martha’s aid as I’m quite out of sorts.”
“Aye miss.” She dipped her knee again and Martha frowned. What was it about Sexton that had the maid curtsying at such a dizzying pace? For since her arrival to Virginia, yes, good manners were still foremost but May, Maggie, Nancy and Chloe seemed to share a more familial connection and not the formal curtsy and hand wave she’d noted all of her English life.
Hand in hand, the pair walked in silence to Chloe’s bedchamber. Martha’s heart thrummed in her chest and upset lay heavy on her stomach. Why couldn’t he just leave her alone?
Once the door closed, Chloe began to pace. “I am furious with Jude! How could he bring that man here? How?”
But Martha knew. What choice did he have? Good manners dictated the invite. She sank down upon the bed and rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “I suspect Samuel manipulated in one form or another.” Tears blurred her vision. “Where is Frederick? I need him here.”
Chloe settled beside her and smoothed her hair. “Be resolute my dear.”
“I’m trying and I know where my heart belongs...”
“But?” Chloe inserted. “You’re still thinking of the children.”
“Yes. I had a duty to them and you know how very seriously I take that.”
“Had,” Chloe reminded. “Samuel had his chance. Frederick eased your heartache. It is obvious from all who look at you when you’re with the baron, that he is where you belong.”
“You are right. I long for him in ways that I never desired Samuel.”
“Then the decision is made.” Chloe sprang to her feet before perching atop the velvet stool in front of her vanity. “Now come here and help your cousin become presentable. We have dinner coming soon and I am quite hungry. This baby indeed has an appetite,” she prattled on. “I hope we’re having some sort of cake. I could certainly use some of Maggie’s sponge cake.”
***
“ALLOW ME,” SAMUEL SAID, pulling out Martha’s chair at the dinner table. She glanced over her shoulder at him, distrust coating every inch of her. His look of contrition, the way is eyes softened upon her and she was reminded once again of her utter confusion. God knew she didn’t want to feel this way and her anger with Sexton should have made her stronger and yet it didn’t.
Turning away, she offered Jude a scowl.
“Sexton here was stranded at the side of the road. His horse had thrown a shoe,” he explained, seating himself at the head of the table.
Samuel too sat. “Yes, you can stop giving the poor man the evil eye, Miss Martha. It was circumstance, fate, shall we say?”
Martha focused on her glass of wine, glad it was only half full. She’d need her wits about her. She’d need to stay strong and not fall into his trap. But with every day that Frederick didn’t come home, every day past the two week mark that she received no word, she had started to fear he wasn’t coming back. That once again she’d been deserted and another piece of her heart was in danger of destruction. The idea that Frederick had gone to never return had circled her brain since his departure, flitting in and out of her consciousness. Until Samuel’s arrival she had been able to force the fears back but now...if she did choose to wait and the baron didn’t return to her...what then? But she knew only too well. Devastation, pure and simple.
Taking a sip of wine, she remained silent for a moment and then looked to Samuel. “If I didn’t know how very little you enjoy manual labor, I would almost be convinced that you had purposefully engineered your horse’s loss.”
“Not my horse,” he stated, buttering a biscuit. “I rented him in town. Should have noticed the poor shape of his feet before ever leaving Hampton, but in my zeal to see old friends, I neglected good sense.”
Chloe cleared her throat and Samuel’s gaze shifted toward her. “How long are you staying in Virginia?”
His mouth lifted into a peculiar smirk. “As long as it takes, I suppose.”
“Will you be staying for the wedding?” Chloe continued. She held a spoonful of broth at the ready, her stare unnerving in it solemnity.
“You mean between Martha and the baron?” He set his biscuit down and offered his own unwavering glare.
“Indeed, that is the wedding of which I speak. It’s going to be a wondrous occasion.”
“Weddings usually are. In fact, I’m very much looking forward to my own.”
Martha slammed her glass down, the red liquid sloshing over the lip and puddling on the white linen table cloth.
She stood. “Excuse me, I feel unwell.”
Rushing from the room, she made her way to the parlor her need for fresh air far out weighing her need for food.
Hearing heavy footfalls at her back, she raced faster toward her escape. Reaching the door to the garden, her hands trembled as she fought with the latch.
“Martha stop,” the male voice commanded and when she turned, to her relief, Jude stood before her, his lips pursed and his eyes sparkling with compassion.
“Why did you bring him here?”
He took a step forward. “Cousin, I’m sorry. Good manners dictated I not leave him stranded on a strange road in unfamiliar territory. I had no choice. The sun will be setting soon...” His voice trailed off and he looked past her. “I wish to God Frederick were here.”
“As do I. For the longer he is gone with no word as to when he’ll return the more vulnerable my heart becomes.”
“I’m sure he’s doing his utmost to return to you. Before he left, I had never seen him happier.”
She leaned back against the door, her hands wringing the linen fabric of her skirt. “I am miserable without him and yet with Samuel here, I feel as though my months of prayers upon my arrival to Virginia were answered.” God she hated how the tears burned her eyes. But more than that, she hated how confusion caused them. She should be stronger in her convictions. Should she not know her own heart?
Raking his hand through his hair he paced before her. “What can I do to help?”
“Keep Samuel away from me.”
He stopped short and leaning forward gazed into her eyes. “Are you tempted by Sexton’s offer?”
“No, not by him alone. But my love for his children does play a very strong role. The tears they shed at my departure hurt me more than the loss of their father’s promise.”
“What of your promise to Frederick? Or have your forgotten?”
Finally, the tears fell. “No, I have not. I only wish I had wed him before he left then...”
He held up his hand. “If he is your second choice then don’t do him any favors by marrying him. He deserves better.” Turning away, Jude strode to the parlor door. Glancing over his shoulder his anger was almost tangible. “I thought you were better than this. But I think that perhaps you are undeserving of the baron’s true and honest love. He is a man of kindness and generosity. He gave up his happiness for mine. I’ll not allow him to wed someone unable to offer him everything he deserves.”
“What do you propose I do?”
As if carried by magic he was suddenly before her, towering over her like a giant. “Marry Samuel and go back to England and have the life you pined for upon your arrival to Virginia.”
Her mouth fell open and her lower lip began to quiver. “It’s not that simple.”
His cheeks flushed crimson. “Oh dear cousin, it is. And the misery you live with by attaching yourself to that rake will be everything you deserve if you choose a man who promises and lies to a man who would lay down his life to honor you.”
“If he is so honorable then where is he?” All the sorrow, worry and doubt she’d been denying since his departure spewed forth like lava from a bubbling volcano. “Can the baron not write a letter, a note, anything?”
Jude cocked a questioning brow but said nothing.
“I wrote several letters, you know this as your ships captains were to deliver them. Has he sent a single response? Have I had a solitary bit of encouragement past his initial letters?”
“Did he or did he not fall on his knees and ask you to be his wife?”
“Yes, he did. But where is he?” Tears cascaded from her eyes and a sob popped from her lips. “I don’t want to end up alone.”
Jude pulled her into an embrace. “You’ll never be alone. Chloe and I love you dearly.”
She allowed herself to weep. “I want what you and Chloe have.”
“And Frederick will give it to you, I swear. Just give him more time. I have never seen him happier, more smitten then when he was with you.”
Finally, she pulled away and he wiped her eyes. “I’ll have Maggie bring your dinner to your room and I’ll see to it personally that Sexton is gone by morning.”
She nodded. “Thank you.”
He smoothed her cheek. “You decide who will make you happiest. But please, dear Martha, don’t settle for someone out the fear of being alone.”
“That is so very easy for you Jude, for I am convinced you are married to the person God intended.”
“Know this, you will never be alone as long as I am alive. I promise you.”
She tried to smile, but her lower lip quivered with the gesture. For despite the earnestness of his declaration, she wanted a life filled with companionship, children and the comfort of knowing that no matter where you are, as long as you’re with your partner, you’re always home.