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CHAPTER TWELVE

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“They are dueling!” Martha announced as she sped through the parlor and toward the garden door.

“What?” The alarm in Chloe’s voice had her wishing she had simply entered and exited without explanation.

“Yes, and they had Mister Hubert manhandle me to force me back here.” Her ire rose. “If they think that will stop me, they will have to rethink it!” She stopped and changed course, instead going to the fireplace, she took hold of the poker.

“You mustn’t rush out there and get hurt.” Chloe stood and when she attempted to grab hold of her arm, Martha shrugged free, and again steamed to the exit. “I don’t intend on allowing Frederick to perish because of this foolishness.”

As she opened the door her ears rang with the sound of gunfire. Panic seized her and dropping the poker, it clattered to the ground. With her heart racing, she lifted her skirts and ran toward the battlefield, all thought on the baron. All her love, her fear a tangled mass within her chest.

Another shot and she knew she would faint and yet she continued onward. At seeing Hubert on the path ahead, she veered into the brambles, the dry grasses and tangles pulling at her stockings and rending her skin. Yet she wouldn’t stop.

She sped past the stableman and as she reached the top of the hill, Frederick came into view. Tall, muscular and beautiful, the pale sun glinted on his dark hair, his face cast downward.

“Frederick!” she shouted his name and when he lifted his gaze the smile that met her had her stopping in her tracks.

He stilled and boldly stared at her for but a moment before they each dashed forward. As they neared, her body yearned for him and when they finally reached each other, they fell into an embrace.

Dear Lord but it felt good to hold him in her arms. His broad shoulders, the musky scent of him, the warmth of his body pressed to hers. A chill rushed through her and pulling away, she covered his face in kisses before finding his lips. The passion swelled with in her and when he slid his arms tightly about her, she knew she was where she belonged and that no matter where she was, as long as she had him her life was complete.

“I love you,” he muttered against her lips. “I’m sorry I doubted you.”

“It’s you I want, never, ever doubt that again.”

He gently pushed her away and the joy of the moment slipped from his countenance, replaced with a creased brow and questioning eyes. “But Jude said last night you we’re unsure of who you wanted.”

Tears welled up in her eyes. “No. I only ever wanted you.”

She could feel him pulling away. “Then why would he question your affection?” He stepped back and the distance grew.

“Not my affection for you. My affection for Samuel’s children tugged at my conscience.”

“I see.”

“Do you?”

He walked past her and she followed closely. “Ultimately, my love for you is all that I could see.”

He stopped short and she very nearly ran into him.

“Why are you so distant?” she asked, her lungs aching as she fought to catch her breath.

Turning on her she expected to see anger, but instead her heart flip flopped by the sorrow that shown in the depths of his clear, blue eyes. “I’m not distant. I am uncertain.”

“You are uncertain?”

“I would have thought that your love for me and the love for our unborn children would far outweigh any questions that surfaced.”

“It is not so simple as that.”

He shook his head. “It is, my precious, precious, Martha. For me, it would be.”

Tears stung her eyes. “Frederick, please understand, I love those children as if they were from my body. To think they needed me felt like a duty I should not refuse.”

His lip curled into a snarl. “Do you know why I was away so long?”

“No because after the first week of your absence I heard nothing. I thought you had forgotten me.”

The ironic laughter that escaped his lips cut through her like a blade. “Forgotten you, I was in Charleston purchasing property that adjoins Jude and Chloe’s. Rutherford’s property. The house you loved so well. Belle Fleur. I thought perhaps you would like to live there, to be nearer your family as ours grew. Finding the man was no easy task and when I did he was hesitant to sell. But I was determined to offer you that house and land as a wedding gift.”

Tears cascaded from her eyes, yet he didn’t stay and offer a handkerchief. Instead, he turned away and strode toward the house.

“Wait!” she shouted. “Don’t you want to know what I did while you were away?”

He didn’t’ look back, simply walked away, leaving her to shiver in the cold autumn air.

***

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MARTHA SHOULD HAVE followed him. Should have rushed to his side and begged him to understand and yet she couldn’t face him. Couldn’t look at him and see the disappointment in his eyes. Instead, she trudged through the high grass and into the barn. Finding an empty stall, she lowered herself upon the soft, fresh straw and rested. She didn’t want to go home. Didn’t want anyone to see her and didn’t want anyone to hear her sob.

With her knees to her chest, she lowered her head, burying her face in her hands. The disappointment, the loss of the most precious of dreams injured her more and cut her deeper than any hurt she had felt before. The idea that Frederick believed her love to be untrue battled against her tattered emotions and tore at her soul. Small, guttural sobs fought for freedom. She allowed them escape and yet they did little to ease her suffering.

At the sound of Jude and Samuel’s voices, she stood, her mind reeling with the notion that she never even considered the duke’s safety. Could the baron not see by her lack of concern where her loyalty truly lay? A small twinge of anger broke through the seemingly impenetrable wall of pain and she sank back into the shadows, hoping against hope that she would not be seen.

“I’ll just go. Please tell Lady Martha how sorry I am for the damage I caused.” The sorrow that coated his voice had a ring of sincerity and yet her ire toward him would not allow forgiveness.

“I will,” Jude replied. “You and the baron did the right thing by firing into the air.”

“‘Twas truly the hardest thing I ever did. For if I had gunned him down when I had the chance I would have...”

“Have had no chance at winning her heart,” Jude interrupted, his words dripping with irritation. “Hubert, saddle up the chestnut gelding for the duke and accompany him to town on the bay. See him settled at the inn and bring the horses home.”

“Surely, Jude, you understand that letting her go completely is not something I relish. I do love her.”

“And that is why you need to go. Allow her her happiness and do not come here again. You are not welcome.”

“I know, and I am sorry to lose your friendship. Perhaps in time you will understand that my genuine affection drove me to reckless behavior.”

“Genuine affection?” Jude asked. “Or winning at any cost? The actions you take from henceforth will prove to me of your sincerity. Good bye, Lord Sexton. God speed on your journey back to England.”

“Arden wait!” Samuel called and at the sound of footsteps, she realized the two men had left the stable.

Stepping out into the wide aisle, she hurried through the small door at the back and leaving the shadows stepped into the sun, relieved to have avoided any further confrontation. She needed more time on her own. Time to decide just what it was she was going to do.

She dragged a deep breath into her lungs, hoping to clear her airways and her mind of all her sorrow and emotion.

The air had grown warmer and the sun brighter. The light irritated her swollen, burning eyes. Perhaps cool water on her face. A moment of serenity by the creek’s edge and she would feel refreshed enough to tackle the chore before her. The chore of setting things right would be a miserable one. Yet, she had no choice, for the limbo in which she now lived would destroy her.

Taking the narrow path into the wood, she lifted her skirts to avoid the overgrown vines and thorny brambles that leaned across the trail. It was good to put more distance between herself and the house. The further away she got, the better she could breathe.

Her thoughts clarified as the fog of shock and sorrow lifted. More anger popped through the wall of her resolve. The unfairness of her treatment by the man she loved so dearly began to wear on her and when she reached the creek’s edge, despair had completely evaporated.

At the shore, she approached the large flat rock that she’d sat upon day after day since her arrival in Virginia. This was the spot she’d kissed Frederick and knew passion for the first time in her life. And passion was what she felt now.

Instead of sitting she began to pace. Back and forth along the rocky bank, the tirade within her buoyed up her broken spirit. “How could he believe me such a low, inhuman creature? Would he not be glad I was certain of my choice, rather than living with a woman who married him with uncertainty? But no! I am supposed to be an automaton.”

Bitter tears replaced sorrowful ones. Her hands curled into fists. “And if you, yourself were so certain of our relationship, why did you leave without confronting me? I could construe that not as gentlemanly but cowardly!”

With her loins sufficiently girded, she turned toward the house. She would have it out with Frederick and this would be either salvaged or destroyed by the day’s end.

***

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COMING IN VIEW OF THE house, her hands had started to tremble and her head ache. Too much excitement, too much sorrow and far too much anger compelled her to find her seat in the garden. She would sit for just a moment, for the heat of her passion had cooled on her march from the creek and now she loathed the idea of another argument. In fact, she simply wished go to her room and bury her head beneath her covers.

Closing her eyes, she rubbed her temples with her fingers in hopes of chasing away the pain that throbbed just behind her eyes.

“Miss Martha?”

The sound of Samuel’s voice seemed to increase the pain from throbbing to shooting.

“Leave me alone,” she hissed before setting a cold stare upon him. “You have ruined my happiness with your appearance and your lie.”

“I am sorry. That is why I have yet to leave here. I had to see you, to tell you how much I wish I could take it all back. Starting with the notion that my children were unhappy living with their aunt.”

She gripped the linen of her gown, for her fingers itched to slap his face.

“That too, was a lie? The very tool you used to try and pry the baron and me apart?”

He nodded, his chin dropping to his chest. “Please do not make this more difficult. I needed you to help me lure them home. Lucy as much as told me that she didn’t want to return to Juniper Grove because you were no longer there.”

Touched by the girl’s tender feeling, she eased her grip. “But she is happy?”

His gaze came to rest upon her and she could read very clearly in is green eyes, the sincerity of his apology. “Yes, she is very happy and my sister in law is so much like their mother, how can I be angry?”

“So you did all this to win not me, but your children?”

Surprise registered upon his countenance and his mouth open and then closed, his expression thoughtful as if he chose each word carefully. “God, no. I want you as much today I as I did the day I asked you to marry me. Probably more, for America has strengthened you and if possible you’ve grown lovelier.”

“Yes I suppose I am stronger.” She stood, her shoulders back and her chin raised. “I thank you for your honesty.”

“Then is there even the slightest of chances that you will consider my proposal? The baron is a proud man and what I witnessed on the hilltop proves he is also a fool.”

She raised her hand to silence his criticism. “No, much like me, he has been damaged by romantic entanglements.”

“And I am responsible for that damage as well.”

“Indeed you are.”

“I am so very sorry for hurting you, then and now.” His voice cracked with emotion. “Tell me what I can do to repair that damage and it will be done.”

She offered him the smallest of smiles. “You can return to England and never see me again.”

He nodded. “But before I go, please know, that despite my being a villain, I did it because of my love for you. My need to have you and my children back overshadowed my conscience and jealousy made me blind.”

“Oh, Samuel, can you not see, in the process of trying to retake your life, you have stolen my future.”

“I know.” Tears welled up in his eyes. “And I hope someday you’ll be able to forgive me.” Leaning in he placed a kiss upon her cheek and when he pulled away, his gaze caressed her face. “I am so very sorry, I regret so many things.”

He offered a quick bow and turned from her. With his shoulders sagging and his head held low, he walked toward the stable and out of her life.