Chapter 21

Rutherglen, January 1870

In Rutherglen, as soon as the new year celebrations were over, Richard announced that he intended to take Amy to Melbourne for a few days.

‘I need to order some equipment for the new mine, and I’ve promised to buy Amy a couple of new dresses. You don’t mind, do you?’

‘Of course not,’ May replied. ‘Amy will be thrilled.’

The pair were back in ten days, Amy showing off a dress that May estimated must have cost more than she herself would have earned in a year in her previous existence as a milliner’s apprentice. Richard’s expression, too, seemed unusually self-satisfied.

‘Well,’ he said, when he had washed off the dust of the journey and settled himself with a drink on the veranda, ‘Amy’s future is settled, at least for the next few years.’

‘How?’ May asked, in some alarm.

‘Are we going to teach her at home?’ Lizzie asked.

‘No, we are not. She is going to boarding school.’

‘Boarding school!’ both women exclaimed in unison.

‘Let me explain. You remember how impressed Stella Campion was with Amy’s voice at the carol concert? She persuaded me that I have a duty to see that such a talent is not lost for want of proper tuition. She promised to speak to Professor Maxwell, at the Department of Music at the university. So I took Amy to see him, and Stella had been as good as her word and obviously made a big impression on him. He asked Amy to sing for him, and then said that she should definitely have lessons from a qualified professional and he offered to arrange for one of his staff to teach her. I pointed out that it would be impossible for her to travel to Melbourne for her lessons and he suggested the school. It’s called the Lomond School and it is quite close to the university. The head mistress is a Scotswoman called Miss Fraser and we both took to her at once, didn’t we, Amy?’

Amy nodded vigorously.

‘She seems a very down-to-earth, sensible woman who believes very strongly that girls should have the same opportunities for education that boys have,’ Richard continued. ‘The school has a very comprehensive curriculum, including physics and chemistry, which is something I heartily approve of. It also has a strong musical tradition and most of the girls learn one or more instruments. She is perfectly happy for Amy to have leave of absence twice a week to go to her singing lessons at the university, so it seems she will have the best of both worlds. So what do you think? Have I done well?’

‘What do you think about it, Amy?’ May asked.

Amy’s expression was serious. ‘I quite enjoyed myself at the convent school, most of the time, except when Mother Mary Andrew got cross with me about the catechism. And I like it that the school is only for girls, so there are no rough boys – and Miss Fraser said they never use corp … what was it? They never cane people. And I do want to go on with my singing. Of course, it means I’ll have to leave Sunny and Snowflake here. But Gus will look after Snowflake, and Papa says he will take care of Sunny, and I’ll be able to see them in the holidays. So, yes. I think I want to go.’

May swallowed a lump in her throat. For most of her life she had remembered the baby she had cradled in the nursery at the workhouse and hoped to find her again, and James’s news that he was bringing her to live with them had seemed like a miracle. It had been both a joy and a torment to have her for the past nine months – a torment because of her unhappiness at school. Now that seemed to be over and she could see that the new arrangement was the best thing that could happen for Amy, but it would leave a gaping hole in her own life. But then she reminded herself that soon she would have a new young life to care for, a child of her own who would not be whisked away when her back was turned.

‘Then that’s wonderful, darling. I’m glad you’re so happy about it. But we shall miss you here, you know.’

Suddenly Amy cast off her adult seriousness and threw her arms round May. ‘I shall miss you, too! But I’ll be back in holidays and then I can see my new little baby brother or sister.’

‘Not actually your brother or sister,’ Lizzie reminded her.

‘Well, it feels like it.’ Amy said. ‘And I’ll miss you, too, Lizzie.’

‘Will you?’ Lizzie said, and abruptly left the room.

Amy left again three days later to start at her new school. May and Lizzie both shed tears as they said goodbye, but after the coach carrying her and Richard to Melbourne had disappeared, May felt a sense of relief. She need no longer worry herself about the little girl’s future and she could relax and prepare herself for her coming confinement.

Her peaceful mood did not last long. She was resting on the veranda a few days later when Gus appeared, with an expression on his face that she recognised from their earlier days in Liverpool – a look that combined anxiety and defiance in one dark scowl.

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked. ‘Something’s happened. Tell me.’

He dropped into a chair beside her, his hands clasped between his knees and his head hanging. ‘Pa’s threatening to sell Merlin.’

‘Oh Gus! Why?’

‘He says I’m not pulling my weight at the vineyard because I’m spending too much time with the horse.’

‘But I warned you about that months ago. Didn’t you listen?’

‘It’s all very well for you to talk. Training a race horse takes a lot of time. Pa knew when he bought him for me what I wanted to do with him. Now he’s saying that even if he wins next month he’s going to put him up for auction immediately after the race is over.’ He raised a distraught face to her. ‘He can’t do that! I’ll never forgive him if he does. Please, May, you talk to him. He’ll listen to you.’

‘It’s no good me talking to him,’ May said. ‘You have to change the way you’re behaving. You have to show him that the vineyard comes first. Look at it this way. He has built that business up from scratch. It’s been a great joy to him to have someone to leave it to, someone who will carry on when he has to give up. Now he’s thinking that you don’t care. That maybe, when he is not there, you will fritter away everything he’s worked for on racehorses.’

‘But I wouldn’t do that! I want the vineyard to succeed just as much as he does. I just want a few weeks to try to win one race. Then I’ll go back to working like before.’

‘How can he be sure of that? You have to prove to him where your priorities are.’

‘How?’

‘You are going to have to put work ahead of training Merlin. You need to be out there, pulling your weight, from the time work starts in the morning till everyone knocks off in the evening. If you need to take Merlin out for a gallop you will have to get up early and do it before work, and if that’s not enough you will have to spend your evenings with him. It’s the only way, Gus.’

He looked at her gloomily. ‘It won’t be enough.’

‘Well, perhaps not. But Pa is not a man who will go back on his threat lightly. If you want to keep the horse, you have to show that he can trust you with the future of the vineyard.’

Gus sighed deeply. ‘All right. I’ll do it. I just hope it works.’

‘I’m sure it will. Pa loves you, you know. He doesn’t want to make you miserable. But he needs to know you understand what is important.’

‘Yes, I know.’ He was silent for a moment, gazing at the floor. Then he said, ‘That’s not the only problem. Not the worst one, even.’

‘Oh Gus!’ She shook her head wearily. ‘Now what?’

‘Kitty’s pregnant. Or she says she is.’

May sat up and stared at him. ‘You fool! How could you let that happen?’

‘You know how it happens.’

‘Don’t try to make a joke of it. How could you be so irresponsible?’

He looked up with a flare of anger. ‘It’s all very well for you. You’ve got what you wanted – James, the baby, everything.’

‘But I had to wait for it. I wasn’t stupid enough to get myself into trouble when we were courting, back in Liverpool.’

‘But that was just a few months, and then you were here and he was back in England. I’ve been in love with Kitty since I first met her, back when she and her family were waiting for a place on an emigrant ship. That’s what made me sign up to sail with them. That’s over two years ago and we’ve seen each other more or less every day since then. A fellow can only hold himself back so long, you know.’

‘Kitty should know better …’ May started to say. Then she remembered how much she had wanted to give herself to James when they were courting, and how hard it had been for both of them to hold back. She doubted that her resolve would have held out if they had been together for the same amount of time as Gus and Kitty. ‘No, that’s not fair. I know it has been hard, for both of you. You should be married.’

‘Don’t you think I want that? I’ve asked Patrick O’Dowd to let us marry several times but he always says Kitty’s too young. He wants us to wait until she’s twenty-one!’

‘Well, it looks as if he’ll have to change his tune now, doesn’t it?’ She reached out and took his hand. ‘Cheer up. Isn’t this what you want? You and Kitty will have to marry now.’

He still looked gloomy. ‘I suppose so.’

‘It is what you want, isn’t it?’

‘Yes, of course it is. But it’s not so simple. Kitty’s mother doesn’t think she should marry me, because I’m not a Catholic. It didn’t worry Kitty, but her ma’s quite religious and she’s been frightening her with talk about eternal damnation and I don’t know what else. And there’s this slimy character called Sean Donnelly sniffing round her. He’s got a market garden outside Chiltern and he goes to the Catholic church and makes himself out to be very pious. Kitty’s ma wants her to marry him.’

‘I shouldn’t think he’d want her if she’s carrying another man’s child.’

‘I suppose not. But we’ve still got her ma to contend with.’

‘Don’t you think she would rather see her daughter married to you than bearing an illegitimate child?’

‘That’s what I’m hoping. But it’s all a mess. I’m dreading telling Pa about it.’

‘He certainly won’t take kindly to the idea, on top of everything else. You are going to have to work very, very hard to get back into his good books, Gus.’

‘I know that. But what do I do now, sis? Do I tell Pa, or do I talk to Kitty’s pa first? Sometimes I think we should just run away and get married somewhere where nobody knows us.’

‘Don’t you dare! That wouldn’t solve anything.’ May thought for a moment. ‘Listen. Say nothing for now. I’ll talk to James when he comes home. It might be best for him to come with you to break the news to Pa. Then all three of you can decide how best to approach Kitty’s family. Poor girl! She must be beside herself with worry!’

‘Yes, she is. Do you think James will come and talk to Pa with me? I really feel I need someone to back me up.’

‘Don’t fool yourself, James will be just as cross with you as I am, but he will understand how you feel. We all want this to turn out for the best. And look on the bright side; provided you can convince Pa that you are to be trusted with regards to working in the vineyard, you will be able to offer Kitty a home, and very good prospects. Better than any market gardener could offer. That must weigh in your favour with the O’Dowds.’

Gus got to his feet. ‘Thanks, sis. You’ve made me see things more clearly. And I’ll do what you say. I’ll work my socks off, if it makes Pa forget about selling Merlin.’

‘You’ve got bigger things to worry about than the horse,’ May said severely. But she pulled him down toward her and kissed him affectionately. ‘Oh, little brother! What you’ve put me through over the years! But we always survive, don’t we? This will be the same, you’ll see.’

James, when informed of the situation, reacted as expected with an outburst of exasperated disgust, but when he had calmed down he admitted with a rueful grin that he could sympathise with Gus’s frustration.

‘I don’t know how long I’d have held out in his situation. It’s a good job I didn’t have the chance to find out what a passionate woman I was wooing.’

He bent and kissed her and in spite of her advanced state of pregnancy she felt a stirring of desire. It was true. Her sexual urges, once awakened, were powerful. She had discovered that during her short relationship with the Italian Armando, and it was only because of lack of opportunity and the rigid social structure surrounding them, that she had not gone further than passionate kisses. Her courtship with James had been more restrained because they had both been aware of the social divide that separated them, and he had been first surprised and then delighted by her eager response as soon as they were married. For the first weeks afterwards they had made love every night and sometimes during the day as well. It was not surprising, she reflected, that she had fallen pregnant so quickly.

Now she asked, ‘Will you go over to Freshfields and help Gus to explain things to Pa? If you are there, it will stop Pa from reacting too violently.’

‘Why can’t you go?’ he asked. ‘He’s your brother.’

‘It seems to me the sort of thing that’s best dealt with on a man-to-man basis,’ she said. ‘Pa won’t listen to me if I try to put forward Gus’s case, but he respects your legal mind. Please go!’

James went, rather unwillingly, but he returned looking more sanguine. ‘Your father has agreed that the marriage must go ahead and he is going to invite Patrick O’Dowd to meet him for a drink at the Star Hotel – neutral territory, if you see what I mean. He thinks they can thrash it out between them, “man to man”, as you said.’

‘Thank heavens for that,’ May said. ‘I was afraid there would be a terrible row, and he and Gus might even come to blows. Well done, darling!’

‘Well, he came round to my way of thinking eventually,’ James said, ‘but not before he threatened to horsewhip your brother within an inch of his life. I’ve never seen Gus look so scared. Mind you, it serves him right. Perhaps the shock has been a good thing for him.’

The meeting between George Lavender and Patrick O’Dowd was arranged for the evening of the following Saturday. James and May joined Gus at Freshfields to await the result. George came back, glowering, and Gus rose unsteadily to his feet to face him.

‘Well, you young rapscallion, you’re about to get your just desserts,’ his father growled. May caught her breath, and Gus visibly paled. ‘You can prepare yourself to be wed as soon as the banns can be read,’ his father finished.

Gus swayed on his feet and his father clapped him on the shoulder. ‘She’s a fine lass, lad. You’re a lucky dog. But you are going to have to work to keep her. A wife is more of a responsibility than a damned horse!’

‘I know,’ Gus said breathlessly. ‘And I will. But how did you manage to convince her father?’

‘I pointed out that he didn’t have much alternative, short of turning the girl out of doors with a bastard child to look after. And I made him see the advantages. He rather likes the idea that, provided you buckle down, his Kitty will be mistress of Freshfields one day. And I offered him a couple of sweeteners. I said I would pay for the wedding, and make sure the child, whatever it is, has a good education.’

May rose to her feet and went to kiss her father. ‘Pa, you are such a kind, generous man. I knew you would make it all come right somehow.’

Gus awkwardly held out his hand. ‘I’m truly grateful, sir. And I’ll make sure I show it.’

George looked at him for a moment, and then pulled him into a rough embrace. ‘Right,’ he said, releasing him, ‘I think this calls for a drink!’

Lizzie had been unusually quiet since Amy’s departure. She helped around the house as usual, taking on more and more of the work as May’s pregnancy progressed. She had never been demonstrative, but she had always taken a lively interest in whatever was going on around her. Now she seemed sluggish and depressed. May’s enquiries about her health or whether something had happened to upset her were answered with courtesy but evasively and she came to the conclusion that it was simply the fact that she was missing Amy. It was not surprising after all. For the last three years, with intermissions, Amy had been in her care, and since she had been removed from the McBrides’ house they had been together every day. Now she had gone away to school, Lizzie was understandably at a loose end. May tried to make it clear how much she valued her help and companionship and endeavoured to interest her in some of her own hobbies. They worked together sewing and knitting baby clothes, but all the time May felt that she had somehow lost Lizzie’s confidence.

*

However, unknown to her friend, Lizzie was wrestling with a decision that she did not want to make, but which seemed unavoidable.

The tipping point came when Richard announced that he had purchased a small cottage a few miles out of Rutherglen and was arranging for it to be refurbished and modernised. She waited until he was alone in the library, working on the plans for the new mine. May was resting on the veranda, James was at work and Betsy was busy in the kitchen.

Richard looked up with a distracted air as she entered. ‘Yes, Lizzie?’

‘May I speak to you for a few moments, please, sir?’

He frowned, surprised at the formality of the address. ‘Of course.’ He set aside his pen. ‘Come and sit down.’

‘I’d rather stand, if you don’t mind.’

‘Whatever is wrong? Has someone upset you?’

‘No, it’s not that. I’d like to ask you to write a reference for me.’

‘A reference?’

‘A … a testimonial. Something to show to a prospective employer.’

‘What prospective employer? What are you talking about?’

‘No one in particular, at the moment. But there are people advertising.’

‘But why? Surely you don’t want to leave us.’

‘I have to.’ Lizzie’s voice shook for a moment. ‘I don’t have any choice.’

‘Why not? Aren’t you happy here? I thought you were well settled.’

‘Here, yes. But you are going to move to a house of your own. I can’t live there with you, now Amy’s not with us. Me, a single woman; you a widower. It would cause a scandal.’

Richard leaned back in his chair and gazed at her. ‘Great heavens! The thought never occurred to me.’ He frowned for a moment. ‘You wouldn’t stay here, with May and James? I’m sure May would value your help after the child is born.’

‘It’s not them that pays my wages, is it?’ Lizzie pointed out. ‘And it’s a nursemaid they’ll need, not a governess.’

Richard was silent for a moment. Then he got up and walked away to stand at the window with his back to her. Lizzie waited, clasping her hands tightly together to stop herself fidgeting. She had nerved herself up to broach the subject and now his silence was testing her control.

After what seemed a long wait he turned back to her and the expression on his face confused her further. It was partly the look of someone who has just seen the solution to a knotty problem, but with that there was a hesitancy, a look of self-doubt. It reminded her of the look on Amy’s face when she wanted something very badly but was not sure if she dared ask for it.

‘Well,’ he said, ‘it seems to me the solution is staring us in the face. We must be married.’

‘What!’ She took an actual step backwards as if he had pushed her.

‘Forgive me. That is not the way I should have phrased it.’ He hesitated, searching for words. ‘The simple fact is, I have just come face-to-face with something I have known deep down for months but chosen to ignore. Ever since you agreed to come with us to rescue Amy from those dreadful McBrides, I have felt drawn to you, but I have put it to the back of my mind as something … I don’t know … something unsuitable. Now I have to admit it to myself. I love you. I can’t bear the thought of you leaving me. But I know what I am asking is probably repugnant to you. I am at least fifteen years older than you are. Why should you wish to join your life to an old man with a limp?’

‘You are not old!’ The words burst out unbidden.

‘Well, I’m not the handsome gallant you are probably dreaming of.’

‘I don’t care about that. I’m not dreaming of anyone.’

‘Then could you … would you … consider marrying me? I have to warn you that this mining venture may not succeed, though I have every hope that it will. Even if it does not, there are plenty of good jobs for mine managers in Australia. I can promise you a reasonable standard of comfort; a roof over your head, servants if you should wish for them. And Amy will be with us during school holidays.’ He put out his hands to her. ‘Can you consider it?’

Lizzie put her hands in his. ‘It’s what I should like more than anything in the world. I don’t want servants. I shouldn’t mind if there was not much money. I’ve never been used to that. But I do want to be with you, wherever you are.’

An uncertain smile flickered across his lips. ‘Then, the answer is yes?’

‘Yes. If you are sure you really want me.’

‘I have wanted you for months, but I wouldn’t let myself hope. Oh, my dear!’

She raised her face to his and his lips brushed her own. The touch was fleeting; then it came again and lingered. She yielded to the slight pressure and when his tongue slipped between her lips she opened her mouth to him. He drew her close and she felt him hard against her belly, and something long held in abeyance burst in her, like water in an overcharged dam. She had never had any relations with a man, except for a few clumsy fumblings in shop doorways. She felt now she was being swept away and wanted only to let the current take her.

At length he raised his head and looked into her eyes. ‘Dear heart, I believe we shall be very happy together.’

‘I know we shall,’ she answered.

Later, May, when told of this new development, shook her head in surprise. ‘But Lizzie, he’s years older than you.’

‘I know. It doesn’t matter.’

‘Have you really thought about it? He will be an old man while you are still in your prime.’

Lizzie smiled. ‘Then I shall be able to look after him, won’t I?’

‘And if you have children?’

‘I hope we shall.’

‘People will think he is their grandfather.’

‘What does that matter?’ She moved to sit close to her friend. ‘The important thing is, he’s kind. I know he has never forgiven himself for abandoning Amy as a baby, but he is doing everything he can to make up for it. He’s had tragedies in his life. First the accident that broke his leg, then unemployment and poverty, and finally his wife dying just at it seemed that his problems were solved. But he’s never been embittered. He deserves some happiness, don’t you think?’

‘Of course he does. And so do you. Life hasn’t been easy for you, either, I know. The point is, will you make each other happy?’

‘Yes. I am quite sure of that.’

May took her hand. ‘Then I wish you both every good fortune.’ She added after a pause, ‘Have you thought what Amy may feel about this?’

‘Yes, I have, of course. But I can’t see that it changes anything for her. She is used to me looking after her, and I’ll still be there doing that. It will give her more security, knowing I shall not leave her.’

‘I expect you are right,’ May said. ‘My goodness. It looks as though we have two weddings to prepare for!’