Speak to her
Speak, man!
Through my nose? She might laugh at me;
That is the one thing in this world I fear!
–Cyrano de Bergerac
“Hey, Granny,” I call out as we’re exiting the truck. “It’s a bit late to be shooting at rabbits.”
“I’m not looking for rabbits. Looking for something a little bigger.”
Beast, ever the protector, steps in front of me and blocks me from Granny’s view.
“Oh, hells bells, Beast, I’m not gonna shoot either of you. This is just a warning. This here is a Christian household and there will be no shenanigans under my roof until there are rings on those fingers.”
I lean around Beast to eye Granny. “Why would you think—”
“Don’t even try to hide the truth. I’ve got eyes in the back of my skull and a few up in the clouds. I didn’t fall off the turnip truck yesterday.”
Beast glances down at me and shrugs.
“We promise to be good. Can we come in now? Not at gunpoint?”
She stands up, pointing the rifle at the ground. “It’s fine. Beast, you best be sleeping downstairs, and Fred girl, you better not leave your room until that sun comes up or you’ll both be answering to Betsy.”
Betsy must be the rifle. “We promise.”
Beast’s hand slides into mine as Granny stalks inside, muttering something under her breath.
When she disappears from view, he leans down, sneaking a quick kiss.
“Jesus should fit between you!” Granny yells and we leap apart.
We gape at each other, wide-eyed, and then I slap my hand over my mouth to smother the laughter.
It’s early afternoon when I finally wake up from the deepest slumber ever and stumble downstairs for coffee.
“Oh, luscious bringer of life,” I whisper to the coffee pot, which miraculously contains a full carafe of delectable, mouthwatering brew.
“You’re welcome,” Granny says, walking into the kitchen and standing next to me.
Grabbing a mug from the cupboard, I pour myself a cup and face her, leaning my butt against the counter. “Thanks, you.” I lift my mug in cheers and take a careful sip.
“What’s going on with you and the big fella?”
“Cutting straight to the point, I see.”
She lifts her brows, unimpressed.
“Is he here?”
“He left earlier, had an appointment in town. Answer the question, Fred girl.”
I take another sip before responding. “I like him. We’re . . . together.” I shrug, not sure how to explain it when I can’t quite wrap my own head around it.
“You’re not staying here.”
My heart jumps and I stand up straight. “Are you kicking me out?”
She rolls her eyes and moves closer. “Don’t be slow, girl. That’s not what I’m talking about. I mean you have plans. You aren’t staying in Blue Falls. Beast belongs here.”
And I don’t. “I know.”
“Do you?”
“It’s nothing, Granny.”
“I reckon it’s more than nothing. You have a good heart. It’s already bruised. I’d hate to see it torn.”
I put the coffee down on the counter. I can’t do anything but nod due to the massive lump in my throat. It’s too late.
It’s like she hears the words anyway. She hugs me, surrounding me with the smell of Chanel No. 5 and pipe tobacco. Surprisingly, not a bad combo.
“You’re not in trouble. I’m not mad at you.” She pulls back, keeping one hand on each of my shoulders. “Can’t say I blame you either. That boy is mighty fine. If only I was ten years younger.”
A surprised laugh barks out of me. “Ten years younger?”
“That’s what I said.” She steps back, hands on her hips, squinting at me. “Ten years. Did I stutter? Lost your hearing?”
Through sheer force of will I keep my face blank. “Right, right. Ten years.” I salute. “I hear you.”
“Will you clean out the shed today? I think there’s an old bicycle in there. I want to get it fixed up for Grace as a surprise.”
“Oh, cool. Yeah, absolutely.”
Granny leaves for parts unknown and I’ve only had a few more sips of coffee when Grace bounces in.
“You got an email. I think it’s from that interview on Monday.” She puts the laptop on the counter.
Too soon. It’s gotta be bad news. “Are you hacking my emails again?”
“It’s not hacking when your password for everything is ‘I love Jensen Ackles.’ ” She sighs and rolls her eyes.
“I use numbers and characters, too.” I stare at the laptop on the counter, not quite ready to open it. My stomach swirls with nerves. “Well? What did the email say?”
She disappears behind an open cabinet, rooting for snacks. “I didn’t read it. I just saw the sender and subject. I’m not a monster.”
“The truth of that statement has yet to be determined.” I bite my lip. I want to read it, but I know the odds of receiving good news are slim to none. My interview was terrible. My major qualification is being a giant nerd who also loves food but struggles with simple conversation. I want this job, it’s perfect. But if I get it, it will likely mean leaving Blue Falls within the next couple of weeks and Beast . . .
I shove the thought away. I’ve got a month or less, either way.
I stare at the laptop, closed on the countertop, mocking me with its sleek simplicity. “Maybe I’ll read it after my chores.”
“Don’t be a big baby.” Leaving the cabinet door open, she walks across the kitchen to the fridge and peers inside.
I can’t believe I’m caving to pressure from a semi-adult who doesn’t even know how to close cabinet doors or take less than three hours to shower. But I am.
I open the laptop and sign into my email account.
Dear applicant,
We regret to inform you . . .
“I didn’t get it.” And Dear applicant? Really? Reduced to a generic form letter.
“Are you kidding me? They are stupider than stupid!” Grace slams the fridge shut and opens the freezer, grabbing a pint of ice cream.
“I think I’m the stupid one in this situation.”
I knew I didn’t have a shot, but a huge part of me is still crushed by the rejection. This was literally a once-in-a-lifetime dream job. Another, smaller part of me is relieved to be able to stay in Blue Falls a little longer. Then I’m angry at myself for even wanting to stay longer at all. I won’t be the old Fred who lets go of her dreams.
Grace hops up on the counter, digging into the ice cream. “At least it means you can stay longer.”
I walk over and put a hand on her shoulder. “You know, I have to move back eventually, but we’ll always be friends. No matter where I’m living. You’re like the little sister I never wanted.”
Grace snorts out a laugh and pokes at her ice cream with a fork.
“Why do you always use a fork with ice cream? It’s not natural.”
She shrugs and swallows. “I like it this way.”
“Well, when I move back to New York and have a swanky apartment—which means my room will at least be bigger than a closet—you can come stay with me.”
The fork lowers and her eyes widen. “You mean it?”
“Of course. As long as it’s okay with Granny and everyone. We would have so much fun. You’d love Coney Island. And in the big city, I can teach you how to use a spoon like a normal human.”
She rolls her eyes, lets out a beleaguered sigh, and grabs a tiny bite with her fork. “Are you going to apply for more jobs?”
“I have my résumé out to a bunch of places, but yeah. I should keep looking.”
The thought of schlepping my résumé to more places, places I don’t really want to work anyway, makes my heart sink into my stomach. I highly doubt I’ll find anything as good as a nerdy chain of restaurants comprised of everything I love.
Grace is frowning down into her ice cream tub, poking at it with her fork. A flash of affection trips through me. It’s sweet that she cares.
“Hey.” I nudge her with my shoulder. “I’ll apply for jobs that will build up my résumé so the next time Comix has an opening, I’ll be even more perfect and they can’t possibly refuse me.”
Grace meets my eyes, then smiles slowly and nods. “I’ll help you search.”
We spend the afternoon in Grace’s room. She even helps me complete auto forms and submit my résumé on her computer while I use the laptop and we get double the applications done.
Before leaving for work, I give her an impulsive hug. “Hey. Thanks for helping me today.”
She pats me on the back with two sharp taps. “No sweat.”
Work is much less stressful without Caroline. And every time I leave the kitchen and peer at the door, Beast is there all beefy and brutally handsome. Knowing he’s all mine makes wings take flight in my stomach. Nothing as tame as butterflies, we’re talking full on pterodactyls.
During his break, I bring him dinner to the office, as per usual.
Except this time after I set his plate on the table, he yanks me down into his lap and kisses me senseless.
Then his hands move. I miss you.
“Really? You miss me? I’m literally within a hundred yards of you, like, every second of the day.”
His head tilts on a grin, then he lands a quick kiss on my neck, inciting a shiver down my spine.
“You miss kissing me,” I deduce.
The smile turns mischievous. He nods.
“Same, Beast, same. But I gotta get back. And you only have a few more minutes to eat.”
I try for one last hurried graze of lips, but instead of a quick goodbye, it morphs into a full-blown make out. After a few minutes, I pry myself off him. Not because he’s holding on too tight, but because I don’t want to go.
The rest of the shift takes a million years. I could have watched Avengers: Endgame three times before the clock finally hits one and Eliza hollers for last call.
Time continues to move at a snail’s pace but then finally, finally, we’re walking out together.
He opens the passenger door, but before I can climb in, he’s leaning into my space, and his mouth covers mine. We kiss for long enough that I lose track of where I am until a wolf whistle pierces the air.
“Get it, girl!” Eliza yells.
The others are walking to their cars, laughing and clapping.
Beast doesn’t immediately release me. Instead, he gives me one last biting kiss before jogging around to the other side to get in.
“Well, that was embarrassing.”
Shameless, Beast shrugs and offers me a hint of a smile, but the smug satisfaction is clear even in the small movement.
“You enjoyed that, didn’t you?”
He nods.
“I didn’t take you for someone who would be into public displays of affection.”
His head tilts and points at me, then signs, Only you.
My breath catches. “We don’t have to go back to the ranch yet, right?’
He stares at me for a long second and then starts the truck. He tugs me into his side, waiting until I’ve buckled in with the middle belt before pulling out of the lot.
The heat of his palm sears my leg while he drives one-handed.
He parks us under the tree again, in what I now consider to be our spot.
There’s a heated pause as we both stare out the window at the tree. His hand clenches on my leg and I face him.
“Beast.”
He looks at me.
And then we’re kissing. His tongue strokes against mine, his hand clenching my leg. I trace my fingers up the corded muscles of his arm and tug at his shirt.
“Take this off.” The command is breathless and he immediately complies. I unbutton my blouse but then stop when his chest is exposed to the subtle lights of the dash, my gaze fixed on each curve and valley lined with heavy muscle.
Beast brushes aside my frozen fingers, unbuttoning my shirt for me while I continue to admire his masculine beauty, tracing him with my eyes and then my fingers, the heat of his skin swamping me with hunger.
I shrug out of my blouse. His gaze is a hot stroke as I unhook my bra and toss it somewhere on the floor.
His eyes spark with restrained passion. He signs, Show me.
“Show you what?”
What you like.
I grasp one big hand and pull it up to my breast. “You already know some of what I like.” I encourage him to hold me, and he takes over with slow strokes of his fingers.
Our breathing is loud and ragged, filling the small cab.
He leans down and takes one nipple into his mouth with a soft suck. The pleasure is almost painful.
“Beast.” I couldn’t stop the moan if I tried. I should be embarrassed at my own need, but I don’t even care. “More.”
He immediately pulls away.
“No.” I reach for him, but his focus is on unbuttoning my pants. I help him yank them off and then he’s staring down at my simple yellow panties like he’s Indiana Jones and they’re the Holy Grail.
Show me, he signs again.
I lie there trying not to combust for maybe three seconds, catching my breath. Tired of waiting, he picks up my hand and puts it between my legs.
I chuckle at his stern expression but I’m too turned on to deny him, or myself, this pleasure. Especially when my eyes drop from his face to the erection straining his pants. I lick my lips and his breath falters. I rub myself through the thin fabric of my underwear and his breathing gets even more jagged.
“Beast.” His name is a moan. “Touch me.”
He shifts on the seat, leaning closer to where my fingers move faster, but he doesn’t follow my command.
I move the fabric aside and that snaps him. His hands grip my thighs, pushing them out to reveal my actions to his devouring gaze.
He is the epitome of focus, observing and learning with single-minded concentration. I’ve never done anything like this. It’s the most intimate, vulnerable position I can imagine, but with Beast I’m not uncomfortable or embarrassed. I’m safe in his careful hands. Which makes all of it doubly thrilling and arousing, especially knowing he’s never done this with anyone else—or anything close either.
He gets closer, his breath caressing my thigh, his face inches from where my hand circles and plays. Watching him enjoy me in this way is so erotic I nearly come.
He leans in, patience wearing thin, and his tongue flicks against me, brushing my fingers and the flesh between. He presses his tongue against me, following the same pattern. And that does it. I’m shuddering into his mouth and he’s tasting me like he could devour me whole.
I ride out the orgasm, his mouth still on me until sensitivity peaks. “Beast.” I shove at his shoulder with a half laugh, half strangled groan. “It’s too much.”
He leans back, still breathing heavy, his eyes opaque with arousal.
“Let me take care of you, too.” Sitting up on the seat, I slide next to him, tugging his jeans open before reaching into his pants, gripping his hard length.
Ideas, images flash through my head of all the things I could do with him. Do to him. Ply him with my hands. My mouth. Both? I pull him out and stroke him up and down, gripping his shaft, marveling at his size—which really is proportional to the rest of him.
A few hard strokes later he’s convulsing—shuddering silently, gripping me against him, so strong, but even now while he’s out of control, he’s careful not to crush me. I feel that restraint down inside my soul.
The moment his body relaxes, a small smile appears.
Wow, he signs.
I lean in and kiss his full lips, wanting to take the sheepish look out of his eyes.
“I could kiss you forever.” The words leave my mouth without thought and then I’m mentally cringing. He’s going to think I’m a lunatic. In love with him. Desperate and out of my mind.
Well, aren’t you? Delores Umbridge asks.
If not, it won’t be long.
But he doesn’t seem freaked out by my declaration. If anything, his responding ghost of a smile is pleased.
We spend more time kissing, until my mouth is swollen and we have to clean up and get back to the ranch before the sun starts to rise.
We part at the stairs. I stand on the third step up, from a height where we can kiss without him having to bend over. “I wish we could stay the night together,” I say against his lips.
He nods, his hands clenching my waist once. I race up the steps to bed, not looking back, otherwise I might not want to leave.
I am in so much trouble.