I fully intended to go over to the Corrigans’ after school. There was no football practice to watch after we lost in the play-offs, so I had no place I needed to be. Except I had to use the bathroom.
Now I’m no prude. I’m generally game to take care of business in the public sphere if necessary. But in a fit of uncommon kindness, Darius had fitted the suite’s toilet with a cushioned seat, which was necessary and soothing to my coccyx after I had sat in class all day. So instead of going directly to the Corrigans, I headed home.
At home I did my business naked because I don’t like clothes getting touched by bathroom smell. And so I removed my clothes. Just before sitting down on my soft seat, however, the phone began its bleating. I sucked in a fast breath. Maggie wants to come back! I burst from my bathroom and ran down the hall to the kitchen. I managed to pick up the call before it went to voice mail.
“Maggie!” I shouted into the phone. There was a pause. Then a woman said, “Might I speak to Taco if he’s home. This is Taco, correct?”
“Taco’s speaking because he is home,” I replied. “Who is this?”
“Danielle Corrigan.”
“Mrs. Corrigan!”
“Yes.”
I waited for her to say something more, but she didn’t. So I let fly. “Nice to hear from you,” I said. “Is Maggie okay? Why’d you pull her out of school? Never mind. I’d like to talk to Maggie now.”
“Of course you would,” Mrs. Corrigan said. “She is your…your baby mama. Isn’t that right?”
“Baby mama?” I asked. “I suppose.”
“Actually, Reggie and I would both like to speak to you in person.”
“Reggie and Danielle,” I said.
“Right,” Mrs. Corrigan said.
“And who might Reggie be?” I asked. “Mr. Corrigan?”
“Of course, Taco,” said Mrs. Corrigan. “Would you please come over?”
Well, dingus, I was aching from the day and still hadn’t grabbed my me time on the foam-padded throne. Maybe it was weird to ask, but I asked, “I’m a little busy, and my health still isn’t what it should be. Would you mind sending a car for me?”
“You don’t mind sneaking over here in the middle of the night, but you’d like a ride when we invite you?”
“It’s been a tough day, Danielle,” I said. “I’m hurting. Coccyx, you understand.”
There was a pause on the other end, during which Darius entered the house carrying a couple Dairy Queen Blizzards. His mouth dropped open when he saw me standing naked while talking on the telephone.
“I’ll have Mary come get you,” Mrs. Corrigan finally said.
“Thank you. Give me a few minutes,” I replied.
Mrs. Corrigan hung up.
Darius stared at my unsheathed body. “Things are outer limits, man. Totally, totally outer limits,” he said.
I hung up the receiver and hobbled back to the throne room.
Darius chased after me with the Blizzards. “We have to talk. I bought you a Blizzard, so you’ll talk.”
“I can’t talk to you right now, okay?” I said. “I have to go to the Corrigans’ to talk about this situation with them.”
“They know?” Darius asked.
“Yes,” I said.
“Thank God, man,” Darius said. “They’re adults. They can figure this shit out.” He paused for a moment. “I’m going to eat both Blizzards, you jerk.”
I wanted that Blizzard, but Darius’s face was all red from the stress of this situation. “Okay,” I said. “Thanks for getting it for me, and you should have both. You deserve both.”
“Shut up,” Darius said.
“Don’t worry, Darius. This is a great day…just like every day.”
“Seriously. Shut up.”
Twenty minutes later I was in the Corrigans’ fantastic Subaru with Mary. “How are you?” I asked.
“I’m fine. Thanks,” she replied.
Mary is two years older than Maggie. Mary is spending one year taking care of her general ed credits in town at the college before she goes to Scotland to study medieval history for the next three years. Amazing, right? Mary is a hottie, but she’s also a total dweeb who sings Shakespeare songs at the Renaissance fest. Something about her nerdliness makes me feel very comfortable around her (even when she’s mad at me). If she has the courage to go out in public dressed like an elf princess and sing songs at the top of her lungs, she must be pretty strong and courageous in her heart, right? That’s what I think. I like that Mary Corrigan a hell of a lot. I sort of think of her as my older sister.
“College going well?” I asked her.
“Would you please not say another word to me? You cause too much trouble.”
I nodded. “You got it,” I said. Sort of hurt my feelings, but I understood.
When we pulled up to the Corrigan home, Maggie was sitting out front with her head in her hands.
“Look what you’ve done to her,” Mary said.
“She’s not sad when she’s with me,” I replied. “Maybe you did it to her.”
We climbed out of the car and walked toward the house. You think I was nervous about this meeting, dingus? Talking to the parents of the girl who got knocked up through our love? No way. Not even remotely. I looked forward to it.
When I got to the porch, Maggie stood and hugged me hard. I smiled at her. She said, “Thanks for coming over. It takes a lot of guts.”
I squeezed her hands. “It just takes love.”
“Barf,” said Mary. “I’m going to my room.”
The Corrigans, both Danielle and Reggie, were seated at the big dining room table. They cupped mugs of steaming tea in their hands. They both slouched. They looked a little rough around the edges.
Missy, who’s an eighth grader, was in the room adjacent to the dining room, plunking out some classical tune on the piano. Misha and Molly, the young ones, made glitter art on newspapers that were spread across the floor.
“Would you three please either go outside or up to your rooms?” Mrs. Corrigan asked.
The three youngest Corrigans immediately stood and left. What great kids, huh?
Maggie and I sat next to each other at the table.
“Would you like something to drink, Taco?” Mr. Corrigan asked.
“Yes, thanks,” I replied. “Do you have any Liptons?”
“No,” Mrs. Corrigan said. “It’s time to talk. Like adults. This is an adult situation.”
“If this is an adult situation, Taco should be able to have some tea,” Maggie said.
“Taco. Taco. Taco,” Mrs. Corrigan snapped.
“Danielle is very upset,” Mr. Corrigan said to me.
“And you’re not?” Mrs. Corrigan asked Mr. Corrigan.
“I don’t need any tea,” I said. I didn’t want to upset Mrs. Corrigan any more than necessary. “I’m good.”
“Wrong,” Mrs. Corrigan said. “Not good. My daughter is pregnant.”
“It’s true,” I said. “Our intent was pure, however. I love your daughter.”
Mr. Corrigan smiled for a moment. Mrs. Corrigan clenched her jaw.
“I love Taco too,” Maggie said.
“So what are we going to do about it?” Mrs. Corrigan asked me. “Maggie tells me an abortion is off the table. Do you agree, Taco?” Mrs. Corrigan once again spat my name, which was not my given name.
“Call me William. And I agree. This is our baby,” I said. “It may be a miracle baby.”
“Oh God,” Mr. Corrigan said and sighed.
“You’re sixteen,” Mrs. Corrigan said sternly. “You’re a baby.”
“Seventeen in a month,” I offered.
“You don’t drive,” Mrs. Corrigan said.
“Not interested in driving,” I said.
“You don’t have a job,” Mrs. Corrigan said.
“Up to this point, I’ve been too involved in school activities to find time for gainful employment. But my family comes first. I’ll begin a job search pronto.”
“Oh my God. Oh my God.” She closed her eyes and put her head in her hands. “We’re going to end up raising this baby, Reggie,” she said.
That set a fire under the professor’s rear. “We should discuss adoption,” he said.
“No!” Maggie shouted. “This is my baby! You can’t give away my baby!”
“I’m not giving away your baby—just suggesting that you’d be doing a wonderful thing for a couple and for your child if you did. You’d be giving the gift of your love to people who—”
“No!” Maggie cried. Tears began sliding from her eyes. That set a fire under me.
“I hear you, sir. Love is a wondrous gift. Very wonderful. But first and foremost, my job is to support the emotional needs of my wife.”
“Your wife?” Mr. Corrigan repeated.
“You didn’t. You couldn’t,” Mrs. Corrigan said to Maggie.
“They couldn’t,” Mr. Corrigan said. “They’re minors.”
“We could if we had your permission,” I said.
Mrs. Corrigan stood up. She held her teacup so tightly, it looked as if she would crush it. Then she whipped that teacup onto the wood floor so it smashed into a million pieces.
We all jumped.
“Jesus, mom! Psycho much? You think I’m crazy? I learned from the best!” Maggie cried.
Mrs. Corrigan glared at Maggie. “Shut your mouth.” She turned and took off into the kitchen, cursing us all out under her breath. Maggie kicked back her chair, cursed, and chased after her mom like she was a dog going after a stick somebody threw.
A moment later, shouting came from the kitchen.
Meanwhile, Mr. Corrigan and I sat in the dining room. I smiled at him. Mom had told me to smile if I was ever confused because I have a nice smile. I didn’t know what else to do. Our meeting wasn’t going very well.
Mr. Corrigan shook his head. “Taco,” he said. “This is real. This is happening.”
“I get it,” I said. “Reality.”
“Danielle has been in counseling to deal with anger. Maggie too. This situation…this fighting?” Mr. Corrigan pointed at the kitchen door and shook his head. He looked so sad. “These are two people I love who are liable to destroy each other. Can you help me please?”
I took a deep breath. I wasn’t really sure what he was asking. But I wanted to help him, and I figured if I helped Maggie, I was also helping him. “I will do everything I can,” I said.
Mr. Corrigan nodded. “I’ll help you if you help me.”
In the kitchen Maggie screamed stuff I won’t repeat. Mrs. Corrigan screamed back. Some glasses broke.
“I think you should leave now. We’ll talk again soon,” Mr. Corrigan said.
“I’m worried about Maggie. Danielle…Mrs. Corrigan won’t accidentally stab her or make her want to die or anything?” I asked.
“No, Danielle loves Maggie very much,” Mr. Corrigan said. “This is just a hard time.”
Because Maggie seemed so sad when she came to my house the night before and because it was her mom who caused her to be so sad, I didn’t know if I should believe Mr. Corrigan, you know? My mom would never have made me feel like that. My mom also told me to be polite and respectful though, and Mr. Corrigan was a good and trustworthy person who would protect his daughter, so I decided to believe him. I took a deep breath and said, “Please tell Maggie to contact me at her earliest convenience.”
Mr. Corrigan looked a bit startled. “Will do,” he said.
I stood up. “Should I ask Mary for a ride?”
A large plate or maybe a platter crashed in the kitchen.
Mr. Corrigan shut his eyes. “No, you walk, Taco. Think about what’s happening and what we discussed.”
I nodded at Mr. Corrigan. “Okay. That sounds good.” I reached out my hand so we could shake on it.
Mr. Corrigan stared at my hand for a moment. He smiled really sad, but he didn’t take it.
From the kitchen Mrs. Corrigan screamed, “His name is Taco! Taco! Taco!”
“It’s William,” Maggie hollered.
“Better run along, son,” Mr. Corrigan said.
I smiled, but it wasn’t my best smile because I felt pretty sick to my stomach from all this. Then out the door I went.
On the walk home, I wondered what Mr. Corrigan was getting at with his comment about Mrs. Corrigan and Maggie’s counseling. Anger? Is that why people go to counseling? I thought, Maybe Darius should go to counseling. That seemed so dumb though, because Darius wasn’t crazy. He just drank too much and was born mad.
Then I thought about Mrs. Corrigan breaking that glass. I thought, What you saw was real, Taco. It really happened.
No duh, dingus.
On I walked, and I worried. What if Maggie’s parents really thought she was crazy, not just mad? What if they took Maggie away and stuck her in an insane asylum or something?
I thought, Mr. Corrigan can help me if I help him? What does that even mean?
Then right by this giant lawn next to the old Roundtree Building, the first building ever built for the college, I saw some barn swallows chasing each other like Star Wars swamp speeders. Those damn birds can fly, pal!
Zigzag! Zigzag!
Super cool.
Birds don’t worry.