CHAPTER 33

Okay, I have to admit—standing at the top of the world is incredibly awesome. Every direction we looked in was, basically, south.

We held hands with all the other passengers (including a South African girl whom Tommy fell in love with instantly) and did what the cruise director called “Our Special International Round Dance.”

We’d never learned dancing on board the Lost but fortunately this dance was just walking in a circle around the North Pole, or 90 degrees north, as everybody’s GPS app referred to it.

“Now,” said the cruise director when we’d completed one rotation, “you have all literally walked around the world!”

“Awesome,” Tommy shouted.

“But we’re still going to sail around it,” Beck said to Mom. “Right?”

“You promised,” I added.

Mom nodded. “And save as many of this earth’s treasures as we can.”

Our cruise package included a backyard barbecue on the ice, a hot-air-balloon ride over the pole, and, for the totally adventurous (or totally insane), a plunge into the Arctic Ocean! Which one of us was dumb enough to do it? You guessed it. I think Tommy did it only because the girl from South Africa put on her bathing suit first.

We spotted Nikita and his Zolin Oil crew patrolling the ice pack with their weapons out.

Beck and Storm marched right up to the guys. Mom, Tommy (shivering in his wet swimsuit under his parka), and I followed close behind.

“What do you think you’re doing with those rifles?” demanded Storm.

“Protecting you from polar bears,” said the head goon, Nikita. “And, perhaps, yourselves.”

“You will not shoot a polar bear!” said Beck.

“Polar bears are listed as a threatened species under the U.S. Endangered Species Act of 2008,” said Storm, giving the Russians her total ecotour-guide treatment. “Thanks to the ongoing loss of their sea-ice habitat due to global warming.”

“Do you like polar bears, Kidd Family Treasure Hunters?” asked Nikita slyly.

“We’re Americans,” said Tommy. “We love every cute and cuddly critter on earth and/or YouTube!”

“The only way we’d want to shoot one,” said Mom, “is with our cameras. But since you took mine, I can’t do that either!”

“Do not despair,” said the Russian. “You are in luck. There is a polar bear very near to where we now stand. See the paw prints? Change into your warm clothes, shivering boy in bathing suit. We will let you borrow our snowmobiles so you may track it.”

“Excuse me?” said Mom.

Nikita shrugged. “Viktor Zolin called us on the ship’s radiotelephone. He said we are to be nice to you since you are, indeed, doing this treasure-hunting favor for him. Who knows? Perhaps this polar bear is the one who stole the paintings from the Hermitage Museum.”

His friends chuckled at his terrible joke.

“Are you mocking us?” asked Storm.

“No. We’re joking. We funny, like this Jamie Grimm you told us about,” said Nikita. He clapped his hands. “Quickly, change into your expedition gear. We will get the snowmobiles ready. You don’t have much time before the ship turns around and heads back to Murmansk!”