Bolt from the Blue

I wake up late the next day, my night adventures feeling more like a bad dream than anything real. Reaching my hand under my pillow makes everything zoom into focus pretty quickly though. Alex’s phone is still there, filled with secrets and truths and goodness-knows-what-else. I have to make sure that I won’t be discovered with it. Alex would go mad if she knew what I’ve done.

It’s Saturday, so as soon as we’ve finished breakfast I’m going to be free. Mum tells Alex that she needs new clothes and that she thought they’d go into town for the morning. Alex didn’t react like she normally would though; any other time she’d have almost bitten Mum’s arm off in her enthusiasm for a shopping trip, but today she just snarls a bit and says that she can’t be bothered. That makes Mum get cross and she tells Alex that she can’t keep wearing clothes that are too small for her – and has Alex looked in the mirror lately and seen her shirt buttons straining to stay closed? It’s not decent, Mum says.

‘Are you calling me fat?’ Alex suddenly shouts at Mum and the atmosphere at the breakfast table drops into white, arctic temperatures. I look hard at my cornflakes, hoping that my face isn’t going red. I should have stayed in bed this morning; it’s too hard having to be around Mum and Alex, knowing what I know.

‘Don’t be so ridiculous, Alex,’ says Mum. ‘I’m just pointing out that you’re still growing and it’s time you had some new clothes. It was supposed to be a nice thing for goodness’ sake!’

‘Well, I’m sorry that I don’t want to go shopping with someone who thinks I’m FAT,’ says Alex, and she and Mum glare at each other across the box of cornflakes.

‘You can buy me some new clothes,’ I say in an attempt to lighten the mood and distract Mum from Alex. ‘I don’t mind.’

‘Shut up, Izzy,’ mutters Alex viciously. ‘I can live without your “perfect daughter” routine this morning.’

‘Alex!’ snaps Mum. ‘That’s quite enough. We’re going out and that’s the end of it. No more arguing.’ She gets up and starts slamming the breakfast dishes into the sink, so hard that I’m amazed nothing smashes. ‘Be ready to go by quarter past.’

Alex slouches out of the kitchen without looking at me. Mum turns round when she’s gone.

‘Do you want to come with us?’ she asks me, her voice sounding much gentler than it did when she was talking to Alex.

‘I’d rather stay here,’ I say, hoping that she’ll let me. ‘I’ve got homework to do and Alex is in such a grouchy mood.’

That does the trick. Mum nods at me and dries her hands on a tea towel.

‘No, it probably won’t be a fun morning,’ she murmurs, half to herself. ‘If you’re sure you’ll be OK then you can stay here, but don’t open the door to anyone except Finn and call me if you get even a little bit worried.’ She walks past me, stopping to drop a kiss on top of my head. ‘She won’t stay grumpy forever, you know,’ she tells me and then she goes to get ready. I’m not actually sure that’s true – now I’ve read her text message I think it’s entirely possible that Alex could stay in a foul mood for the rest of her life. But I can’t go shopping this morning. I need to figure out what to do about Alex and her problem.

When Alex and Mum have gone, I run upstairs and retrieve the phone from under my pillow. Then I go back downstairs and head into the garden. It looks totally different this morning to the way it looked last night – not frightening at all. I walk towards Alex’s swing and sit down, pushing off with my feet so that I’m swaying to and fro. I do this for a few minutes and then I turn on the phone and scroll through the menu until I find the recent messages. I can see that there are a few unread messages, but it’s not them that I’m interested in. I want to read the message that I read last night because part of me can hardly believe that it’s true. Maybe there’s still a chance that I read it wrong?

I read the message again several times just to be certain. That’s not because it’s got difficult words. It’s because my brain is refusing to accept that what I read last night was correct. Because in all of my wildest imaginings I was absolutely, categorically NOT imagining this.