five

“Hi.” I get the single word out of my mouth, telling myself to stand my ground and resist the urge to run. Benjamin looks up from his painting of…I want to say a dog, but it could be a pony.

“Hey!” He gives me his awesome smile.

“How’s it going?” I ask, trying to smile back with an equal level of awesomeness. My face feels strange, and I have a bad feeling that I resemble one of the gargoyle drawings I discarded because it was too weird to use in Ryan’s novel. I gesture toward his artwork so he’ll look away until I can get my face under control.

“How’s my crap-ass painting going, or how is life in general going?” He laughs and, shaking his head, glances down at the dog/pony.

“Either one. That’s an interesting…dog?” Please let it be a dog.

“Yeah, totally interesting, seeing as it’s a deer.”

Shit. Wrong on both counts. At least pony would have been closer. I can feel my cheeks betraying me, flaring up like they always do when I’m making a fool of myself.

“Oh, yeah, I see it now.”

“Liar. I suck at drawing. I like the abstract stuff, where no one knows what you’re trying to draw so they can’t say you did a crappy job.”

I think abstract painting is all about using color and lines in a way that creates an impression of different things to different people. I personally believe it’s actually much harder than realism. Probably shouldn’t say that out loud though. Telling him I think he’s wrong is likely not the best way to start a friendship.

“Yeah, me too,” I lie. Good choice! Lying is so much friendlier.

“You can draw like crazy though. Maybe you could give me some pointers?”

“Sure. Umm, well, one thing I find really helpful when I’m drawing is to use a photograph to start from, just to get the proportions and details right.” He grins at me as he pulls a piece of paper out of his bag. It’s a photo of a deer.

“I did that. And here is the wonderful result. My lopsided dog with long legs and knobby knees.”

“Well, you could just slim out the body a bit, like so.” I borrow his pencil and make a few lines, streamlining the torso and giving the legs some muscle tone. “And give more definition to the hooves so they look like—”

“Hooves instead of paws,” Benjamin finishes for me, watching me work. He’s leaning forward, so his chest is brushing against my arm as I work. My hands are starting to sweat a little, and I’m not sure I can hold on to the pencil long enough to finish.

“Just trim the ears back a little and lengthen the nose, and there you go. It’s a deer.” I turn my head and he’s right there. We’re nose to nose, and I can’t stop myself from staring.

He has a really nice one, just a tiny bit crooked on one side as if maybe he broke it once upon a time, which just makes him even better-looking, kind of edgy and tough. I keep on staring at it, wondering if he got in a fight or maybe swam into a pool wall before I realize what I’m doing and jerk myself back out of his personal space. I drop the pencil on the table and wipe my sweaty hand on the back of my pants, hoping he doesn’t notice.

“Thanks, that’s awesome,” he says, seeming oblivious to my sweat-drenched palms and inappropriate nose gawking. “I’m glad you stopped to talk. And not just because you fixed my work. You never talked to me after the first day I came here. I was kind of thinking I’d done something to piss you off.”

Damn! I was hoping he hadn’t noticed. Or is it good that he did notice? What’s better? Noticing or not noticing?

Right now, he’s probably noticing that I’m just standing here instead of answering him.

“No—nothing like that! I’m just…shy, I guess. I don’t always do well with new people.” Good answer. You definitely don’t sound like a loser now.

“When I saw you that first day, I was kind of hoping you were friend material. I don’t have any of those around here just yet.” He smiles that smile, and I have to lean casually against the table so I don’t fall down and embarrass myself.

“I’m not exactly overloaded with them either.” Oh, wow, Jack, this just keeps getting better and better!

“I don’t know why. You seem like a pretty cool person.” I smile at him, so startled by the almost compliment that I feel a little light-headed for a second. Either he hasn’t heard what people say about me yet or he hasn’t made the connection between the words and the face.

“There are people around here who wouldn’t agree.” Way to go. Let him know you’re Mr. Unpopularity. That’ll impress him.

“There are stupid people in every school. I do my best to avoid them, and if I can’t avoid them, I just tune them out.” He makes very deliberate and direct eye contact, and suddenly I can see it in there. That he’s heard at least some of what people say about me but he’s talking to me anyway.

I wonder if he’s heard the one about the insane asylum yet.

“Maybe you can teach me how to do that.”

“I would love to,” he says, the gold flecks in his eyes jumping out at me, making my heart do a slow roll in my chest.

Calm down, Jack. Remember what Clare said. Just friends.

“My friend Ryan and I are going to the Supe after school for fries. You could come if you want, and we can show you around downtown.” Three stores, a restaurant, and the post office. I hope he doesn’t pass out from all the excitement.

“The Supe?”

“The Superior Restaurant. The food mostly sucks, but everyone hangs out there anyway, seeing as it’s the only restaurant in town. My mom works there.”

“Oh yeah? That’s nice. You can hang with your friends and your mom at the same time.” I look at his face to see if he’s making fun of me, but he looks serious, like he actually thinks it’s nice and not pathetic. Over his left shoulder, I suddenly notice the teacher is staring at us, looking less than pleased. She likes me because she thinks I’m artistic, but that doesn’t mean she won’t bitch me out and embarrass me.

“Anyway, I’m going to get in shit if I don’t go back to my seat. If you want to come, just meet us at the front of the school after the final bell.”

“Sounds good.”

I head back to my seat, trembling a little in amazement at my own success. I can’t believe this. He noticed me? Thought I’d be friend material? And I’ve been avoiding him so much that he thought I was pissed with him. How stupid could I be?

No. Don’t do that. That doesn’t matter now. Focus on the positive. What matters is that I did it. Right? I actually talked to him, and it was better than any dialogue Ryan could have written for one of his stories.

I spent the rest of the day in a fog, wandering around my classes as if I were dreaming them. I made about a million mistakes in math class and forgot to bring my books to history. After school, on the way to my locker, I walked into a wall instead of watching where I was going because I was busy wondering if Benjamin would actually come with us.

“Are you ready?” I walk quickly over to Ryan’s locker when the endless school day is finally over.

“What?” He’s checking his phone, reading something.

“I said are you ready to go?”

“Um, no. I haven’t even opened my locker yet.” He looks at me strangely and reaches up to undo his lock. He’s taking his sweet time about it, and I’m trying not to jump out of my skin waiting for him. What if Benjamin decides we’re not coming and just leaves?

“Oh, right. Okay. Well, maybe I’ll just wait for you out front.”

“Why? It’s raining.” He starts putting books away and taking others out. Slowly and carefully, like he’s got all the time in the world. Seriously, any minute now I’m going to shed like a snake if I don’t get moving.

“It’s just drizzling and I…need some air. Oh, and I invited the new guy to come with us. Hope that’s okay.”

“Benjamin? Sure. He’s cool.”

“You’ve already met him?”

“Yeah, I told you before, he’s in my English class. We’ve talked a few times. He’s nice.” I look at him in surprise. How could I have forgotten that? My brain is blowing so hot these days that it must be melting.

I need to cool it. Literally. I’m getting so far ahead of myself that I’ve disappeared from my own view.

“Anyway, I’ll just go and wait at the front door in case he decides to come and is looking for us,” I say casually, making it clear I don’t care if the guy joins us or not.

I go to the door, trying not to run in the hall. It would suck if I didn’t make it there in time because Benjamin’s mom had to stop me and recite the school rule book. I get there at a fast walk and try to figure out the best place to stand so I can’t possibly miss him. Why wasn’t I more specific? The front of the school is huge and there are people everywhere. He could walk right by and think I stood him up!

Or…I could just calm the hell down. It’s just fries at the Supe with Ryan, not a date for the prom.

“Jackson!”

I spin so fast at the sound of Benjamin’s voice that I actually fall off the step.

“Oh, hi,” I say, sounding super cool as I cling to the railing so I don’t dramatically fall all the way down the cement staircase.

“I thought maybe I’d missed you guys. It’s busy out here,” he says cheerfully as I manage to pull myself up and into a standing position. I lean casually on the railing.

“Yeah, well it’s a pretty big school.”

“My last school was about three times this size, but we had staggered entry so everyone wasn’t cramming the stairs at the same time.” Three times this size. He must think we’re so pathetically “small town.” And I’m taking him to the Supe, which will just reinforce the image of this being a total backwoods.

“This place must feel small to you.”

“I guess. But it’s not too bad.”

“Not too good either?”

“Time will tell.” He smiles, and I almost fall down the step again.

“Hey, Benjamin.” Ryan appears at the top of the ramp beside where we’re standing.

“Hey, Ryan. Do you need any help with that?”

“Nope, I’m good. Meet you at the bottom.” He wheels down the ramp fast enough that it looks like it might be fun.

We walk down the stairs, much more slowly because we’re behind a bunch of kids who are stopping every two seconds to show each other things on their phones. We don’t bother trying to talk until we get clear of the school and are on the sidewalk heading downtown.

“So how much does living in Thompson Mills suck?” Ryan asks. Benjamin laughs.

“Oh, it’s not so terrible. I was just pissed that I had to come here in senior year. I was in my last school all the way through, so it would have been nice to graduate with my friends. I thought my dad might save me by staying behind, but he decided to take a sabbatical and come with us, so here I am.”

“I imagine our grad will be pathetic compared to what your school would have done.”

“I don’t even know what they’re doing for grad. What do you guys do here?”

“Oh, it’s really exciting. There’s a ceremony and then a dance in the school gym.”

“Oh. Well, I think there’s a little more to it back home, but that’s all good. Maybe they’ll have fired my mom by then and I’ll be back there.”

Benjamin grins. Ryan smiles back. I just keep walking while trying to ignore the cheerful way he talks about leaving. Of course he would want to go back home. He’s probably the most popular guy in his school. I have to stop twisting myself up about some guy who most likely loves the ladies and has a string of them waiting for him.

“So, here’s downtown,” I announce as we turn onto the originally named Main Street. Benjamin glances down the street, appearing extremely underwhelmed.

“Well, you did warn me,” he says.

“It just gets better. I think Charlie is working today.”

“Oh, great. I always love those burnt burgers from old Char Char,” Ryan says, making a face. “The Supe has two cooks. Stevie, who kind of sucks, and Charlie, who really sucks and thinks everything needs to be cooked until it’s crispy. Even the oatmeal.”

“Sounds great.”

We get to the restaurant, and Benjamin opens the door and holds it for Ryan because our really advanced town doesn’t have those automatic door openers anywhere but at the community center. We go inside and head for a booth at the back. Mom sees us right away and gives me a little wave.

“That’s your mom? She’s pretty,” Benjamin says. I’m surprised. I’ve never thought of her as pretty. I’ve never thought of her as not pretty either. I just think of her as Mom.

I stare at her for a second. She has her pink uniform on with the white running shoes that she says are the only thing that keep her feet from dying. Her black hair is tied back with a pink ribbon to match the uniform. I watch her smile at a customer, her dark eyes crinkling a bit at the corners as she laughs a little at something he says. He’s an old guy who comes here all the time. There’s a bunch of them who hang out in the restaurant every day, just for something to do. They all love my mother because she’s so nice to them and remembers their names and what they like to eat. Watching her now, I realize that she probably seems like a young girl to them, and they likely think she’s flirting. She finishes serving the old guy and comes over to our table.

“Hi, sweetheart. Hello, Ryan. Fries and burgers?” She looks at us and then over at Benjamin. “Hello.” She looks at me, eyebrows raised. Right. Introduce the guy.

“Hi, I’m Benjamin. New in town. These guys took pity on me and are showing me around.” Benjamin beats me to it with his usual level of class and style. My mom looks impressed.

“There’s not much showing to be done, I’m afraid. There’s just Main Street and the bridge.” She glances at me quickly as she says that last word. She doesn’t really like to think about the bridge much and obviously wishes she hadn’t accidentally let the word out.

“Is Charlie on today?” Ryan asks, pulling her gaze over to him and changing the subject before it can even turn into one.

“Unfortunately, yes. So, just fries might be safer. Or maybe even just soda?”

“We’ll risk the fries, Mrs. Pedersen. Thanks.”

We sit back to wait. Benjamin looks around the room.

“There aren’t too many people like me in this town, are there?” he asks.