Chapter Six

Harvard

It had been a long, frustrating mission. Most of HORNET’s missions turned out to be epic clusterfucks, and this one had been no different. At least it had ended well, unlike our last mission. A few injuries, but nobody died this time except the bad guy.

So why did I feel so anxious? Restless. Aggravated.

Especially aggravated. The discontent had been riding me hard over the last several months, and my teammates had noticed. Sami had noticed.

Shit. Sami.

I hadn’t called her since I asked her to take over the drone. Which, yeah, made me an insensitive prick. If she’d seen the explosion through the drone’s cameras, she would’ve been worried.

The team was just loading the last of our equipment onto our jet, which had been dubbed The Hornet’s Nest by Jean-Luc. He was always slapping names on things. He’s the guy who started calling me Harvard all those years ago.

Since I wasn’t needed, I boarded the jet and made my way to the war room, which would remain quiet even after everyone else boarded. Mission complete; no need for a war room. I shut the door and chose the closest of the ten leather seats around the long table. The gloss on the wood had such a high shine I could see my reflection. Even now, alone, I looked pissed off. Jaw tight, eyes narrowed. If I kept this up I’d have a permanent scowl like Ian Reinhardt, our explosives tech, who was not someone I wanted to emulate.

I opened and closed my jaw a few times. Drew in a breath and exhaled it slowly, making a conscious effort to relax my face. Sami had nothing to do with my irritation at my teammates, and it wouldn’t be fair to take it out on her. Once I was sure I had a handle on my emotions, I pulled out my phone and found her name in my contacts list. My thumb hovered over the call button, but at the last second switched to video call. It was all kinds of wrong, but I wanted to see her face.

No, needed to see her.

She answered before the end of the first ring. Her blond-tipped hair swung around her shoulders as she sat up. The room was dark until she reached to her bedside table and switched on a lamp. She looked snug and sleepy, and seeing her that way in her bed made my jeans uncomfortably tight.

“Harvard?” Her voice was husky with sleep, which did nothing to help my situation below the belt.

“Yeah.” I cleared my throat and checked the time. Winced. While it was early afternoon here in Croatia, it was before sunup there. “I’m sorry I woke you. Forgot about the time difference.”

She didn’t seem bothered. She leaned against the wall behind her bed and drew her legs up. I pretended not to notice the way her T-shirt pulled tight against her breasts with the move.

“Where are you?” she asked after a yawn.

“Croatia. We’re wrapping things up.”

“Okay, good. I…” She hesitated and swept her hair back from her face. “I saw the explosion on the drone’s camera, and when I didn’t hear from you for so long…”

“I know. I’m sorry. Things were crazy—but that’s no excuse. I should’ve called before now.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment. Only studied my face like she was searching for…I didn’t know what. And I didn’t want to know. I was supposed to be her mentor. Her teacher. That gave our relationship an unfair balance of power, and I wasn’t the kind of guy to take advantage of it. So whatever she was hoping to see in my expression, I made sure it wasn’t there.

“Are you okay?” she finally asked.

I winced and took off my glasses to rub my eyes with one hand. I never should have involved her, but since I had, I should’ve at least called her way before now. There was real concern in her voice and a hint of fear in her eyes. I was a fucking idiot. “Yeah, I’m fine. A little banged up is all.”

She exhaled. “We were all concerned when Quinn left to join you guys. I thought he wasn’t a field operative anymore.”

“He’s not, but things got…complicated, and he wanted to be here. Jean-Luc was very sick. For a while we thought we were going to lose him.”

“Oh, no,” she breathed and went pale. “Is he—”

“He’s okay now,” I added quickly because the alarm in her expression clamped around my heart like a vise. I couldn’t stand the thought of her sad or scared, which was so unprofessional that shame heated the back of my neck. But there it was. The battle I’d been fighting since the night I walked into the airport and saw her sitting there with her R2-D2 bag, all alone.

It was her eyes, smoky and more than a little sad, that had drawn me in. I hadn’t expected to be attracted to her. Hadn’t expected the spark between us. Hadn’t realized how hard it would be to work with her day in and day out without putting my hands on her.

“I’m glad he’s okay,” she said after a beat. “Did you find Dr. Oliver?”

“We did. Well, Jean-Luc found her, and we found him. They’re together now.”

“Like, dating?” A hint of a smile ticked up the corner of her lips. Man, I missed her lip ring. “I thought you said Jean-Luc is a player?”

“He is. Er, was. Now he’s…goofily in love.”

“I hope it lasts for them.”

“Me, too.”

We lapsed into silence. I liked that about Sami. I’d always been socially awkward, and small talk was one of my least favorite things. With her, the silences were never weird.

“So.” She shifted, settling back down against her pillow, her bedsheets rustling around her. “When are you coming home?”

Home. The word sounded so cozy, especially coming from her lips. I’d never had a home before HORNET. I thought I had found one with them, but recent events had me wondering if I’d been better off on my own. Just me and my computer. It had always been easier to hide behind a computer. In real life, I was unwanted and unloved. Online, I was whoever I wanted to be. A spy. A hero. A criminal. I’d dabbled in a little of everything, but always with the safety net of a monitor and modem between me and the world. But for the first time in my life, I was finally ready to step out from behind the keyboard. Man up and face reality head-on. Except my teammates treated me like a kid meant to be coddled and protected. They didn’t trust me to have their backs in combat, and that realization fucking hurt.

Maybe I had to work harder. Prove to them I was as capable in the field as I was behind a computer.

“Uh, I mean you and everyone else,” Sami added when the silence stretched too long on my end. “The whole team.”

“Do you miss me?” Shouldn’t have asked it, shouldn’t have put her in such an awkward position. A gentleman would take it back, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I needed to know her answer like I needed my next breath.

She looked away from the screen and pulled at her lower lip where her ring used to be. Her silence told me a lot more than anything she could’ve said.

“Sami…” Her name came out of me on a drawn-out sigh. “Forget I said that. I shouldn’t have asked that. We can’t go there.”

The door to the war room opened, and I glanced up to see Gabe, Quinn, and Lanie enter. Gabe Bristow was our commanding officer. Travis Quinn had been Gabe’s executive officer at one time but now had his hands full with the trainees and only worked in a behind-the-scenes leadership role. Lanie Delcambre was our new field commander. All the head honchos of HORNET in one place. And the looks on their faces told me the upcoming convo wasn’t going to be a good one.

“I’m sorry, Sami. I have to go.”

“Wait—”

I didn’t wait. I ended the call and stood to meet my bosses.

Lanie motioned me back into my chair. “Sit down, H.”

I hesitated, then sank back down. “What’s going on?”

She sat next to me while Gabe and Quinn took two chairs across the table. “We have to talk about what happened in Austria. You disobeyed my direct order to stay behind and provide surveillance support for the team with your drone.”

“We still had surveillance. Sami—”

She held up a hand to silence me, and her wedding band glinted silver against her dark skin. “It doesn’t matter. What does matter is you disobeyed, and I’m done letting y’all slide for this kind of shit. We’re a team. We need to start acting like it. From now on, when you don’t follow orders, there are consequences. You’re off the team.”

I stared at them in disbelief. “Are you fucking firing me? Jean-Luc disobeyed orders and ran off to Nigeria. Nearly got himself killed. He gets what? A slap on the wrist?”

“He’ll be reprimanded as well,” Lanie said patiently. “And we’re not firing you. We’re taking you off active duty.”

Panic clamped icy hands around my throat and squeezed. “For how long?”

“Until Sami is trained up.”

“And then what?”

“Then…” She trailed off and looked at the other two for help.

“We’ll reevaluate,” Gabe finished, crossing his massive arms over his chest. “How long do you think until Sami’s ready?”

“She’s ready now.” It hurt to say, because I saw my career slipping away with each word, but I couldn’t downplay Sami’s achievements for my own selfish gains. She was smart and creative. She made connections, saw things in a way I never could. She’d done the bulk of the research for this last mission because I’d been too busy securing our network from a flurry of recent hacking attempts.

Everyone looked at Quinn, who shrugged. “She’s kept up with the boys all through PT, but she’s not a very good shot. Not the worst, but nowhere near the best.”

My stomach lurched at the thought of Sami with a weapon in her hands. Getting shot at. Getting shot. No, I didn’t like that image at all. “She doesn’t need to be a good shot. The only weapons she needs are a computer and wifi, and she can be downright lethal with both.”

Quinn ignored me. “Ideally, I’d like at least another three months to fine-tune her skills on the range. But Harvard doesn’t really see combat, and neither will Sami, so yeah, if Harvard says she’s ready, she’s ready.”

“We’ll give it a month,” Gabe decided. “Quinn will work with her on firearms training, and Harvard, I want you to drill her—”

My mind dove straight into the gutter, and I lost the thread of the conversation. I wanted to drill Sami, all right. I’d wanted her under me, legs wrapped around my pumping hips, since day one.

“Harvard, are you listening?” Lanie’s voice snapped me out of the fantasy, and I felt my face go hot. Play it cool. They couldn’t know what I’d been thinking.

“Yeah, I heard you.” And Lanie’s tone rankled. Like an exasperated teacher talking to a kid with ADD. Would they ever see me as anything other than “the kid”? I was starting to think not.

Maybe this was for the best. If I got kicked out of HORNET, I wouldn’t be Sami’s teacher anymore. I’d just be another guy…

An unemployed guy.

Shit.

I couldn’t let that happen. I was too dangerous when I was alone with my computer. HORNET kept me grounded to reality and gave me a reason to come back from my dives into the digital world. Without them, I’d end up as—well, exactly what I used to be. A depressed, disillusioned loner with a chip on his shoulder and the computer expertise to cause serious damage.

I had to work harder. I had to prove to them I was worthy of my spot on this team.

Which meant I had to keep my relationship with Sami strictly professional. As much as I liked her, I couldn’t risk losing HORNET for her.