Chapter Sixteen

Harvard

I watched from the ridge behind the range and had to restrain myself from punching a fist into the air when Sami hit her target dead-on. She’d been practicing.

I heard leaves crunch under a boot behind me and turned to find a couple of my teammates coming up the path. Jesse Warrick, medic, and Seth Harlan, sniper.

“Your girl’s improved,” Seth said, after watching the target practice for a moment.

My girl. I know he didn’t mean it like I wanted it. In his eyes, Sami was only mine because she was the tech trainee. Just like Blaze was his and Wolfe was Jesse’s.

That was the way it should be.

But none of the others wanted in their trainee’s pants. The fact I did made me feel less than somehow. Like I lacked self-control. Which, when it came to Sami, was fact. Despite all my best intentions to keep her at a distance, she kept reeling me in closer with every smile, every touch.

I know, I know. It was stupid to feel like I was failing because I was attracted to a smart, gorgeous woman.

The situation was different for my teammates. These guys were all straight, so none of them were interested in starting a relationship with the male trainees. Plus, they were all married already. To them, the trainees were nothing more than—well, trainees. To me, Sami was…

Christ. I didn’t even know what.

More than.

So much more than.

She was everything I wanted and then some.

And I hated that I had to keep it all quiet, keep it hidden. Hated that my feelings for her would lessen me in the eyes of my teammates.

I tried to keep my pride out of my voice. I had to play this detached. “She’s not the worst.”

Seth winced. “No, that honor goes to Remy.”

“Damn shame,” Jesse said and made a face as the trainee in question missed his target by a foot. “Local boy like that not knowin’ how to shoot. Kid’s named after a rifle!”

Maybe that’s why he never took up the hobby. Growing up with parents gung ho enough about the second amendment to name their kids after weapons probably sent teenage Remy running in the opposite direction of anything gun-related. That’s what I would’ve done.

But I didn’t say that out loud. Jesse, the quintessential Wyoming cowboy with his big, happy, farm family, wouldn’t understand.

Jesse sat down on a large boulder and picked a long strand of grass to gnaw on. The brim of his cowboy hat shadowed his face as he studied the trainees. “Blaze Decker is somethin’ else. It’s like that kid can’t miss.”

Seth cracked his neck, then raised one scarred hand to shield his eyes against the glaring sun. “Yeah, he knows his way around a rifle, but he’s a pain in the ass. Doesn’t listen. Needs that chip knocked off his shoulder before he’ll make a good sniper.”

“If anyone can do it, Quinn will.”

I gave Jesse a bit of side-eye at that statement. He and Quinn butted heads more often than not, so that was a high compliment coming from him. Maybe the fact they would soon be family—with Quinn set to marry Jesse’s cousin this winter—had eased tensions between them.

Jesse nodded to himself once, like he’d come to a decision. “Wolfe’s good. I’m steppin’ up his trainin’. I want him ready for the team before I leave.”

My heart twisted a little at the thought of losing Jesse. I knew he wanted nothing more than to become a doctor. I knew he planned to return after he completed med school and residency to open a clinic for the training facility and local ranchers. Still, I didn’t want him to leave. He was the calming influence on the team. He was the level head. Wolfe had some pretty big boots to fill.

“When do you start school?” I asked.

“August next year, but I want Wolfe functioning as primary medic before that.”

Man. Jesse had saved all of our lives more than once. Could Wolfe do that? He was a good guy, but he didn’t have Jesse’s depth of knowledge. If we ran into another situation like in Austria, where a castle damn near fell on top of us, or Martinique, or Eastern Europe, where Gabe was shot and very nearly killed, would Wolfe be able to handle those kinds of life-or-death situations?

Funny how I was convinced of my own trainee’s abilities to handle anything thrown at her but had serious doubts about the rest of them. I wasn’t going to read too deeply into that.

Jesse shifted to look at me. “How are you, H?”

And there it was. The real reason these two wandered up here. Not to watch the trainees’ target practice but to check on me. I wondered if Jean-Luc put them up to it.

“I’m good.”

“Sucks you got hit with leave,” Seth said. “We needed you in Austria, and you were right to leave the drone to Sami. I would’ve done the same.”

Jesse shot Seth a scowl that clearly said he disagreed, but he didn’t elaborate. Instead, he shrugged. “We’ve all been there. Don’t take it personally.”

How could I not? They already didn’t trust me in the field. Getting sidelined felt like one more step toward a pink slip.

“You should know,” Seth added after a beat, “the team’s headed out tonight. Some tech whiz went and got himself kidnapped down in South America.”

They were leaving. Without me. It hit like a punch to the gut, all the air exiting my lungs in a whoosh. “But who’s going to handle your comms, the tech, when it malfunctions? It always malfunctions. You know that, and we’re already short-staffed. I should—”

Jesse pressed a hand against my shoulder to hold me in place. “Tuc’s sendin’ his men to cover our shortage. The tech’s covered.”

I knew exactly who they had taking my place and ground my teeth. “Devlin.”

“Yes. Devlin.”

“I don’t like him. There’s no digital trace of him. I mean, no trace.”

“As, I imagine, there’s no trace of you,” Jesse said placidly.

He was right, but that didn’t matter. It wasn’t my point. “The only people that are invisible online are the ones with something to hide.”

How could they trust the enigma that was Devlin more than they trusted me?

Jesse squeezed my shoulder. “Tuc vetted him. We’re in good hands, kid. Not as good as yours, and nobody’s arguin’ otherwise. We’ll miss you, but it’s one mission. Stay here, do your time, work with your trainee.” He jerked his chin toward the range, where the gunfire had stopped. Lesson over. “And you’ll be back in the field with us before you know it.”

Everyone kept saying that, but I couldn’t make myself believe it. Couldn’t shake the feeling I’d outlived my usefulness to the team and they wanted rid of me. The head doctor that came out to the compound every three months to assess us would probably say that feeling related back to my shit childhood. And maybe it did. Probably it did.

Still didn’t make it hurt any less.

Jesse and Seth stuck around a few minutes longer, but I’d shut down on them. Blocked them out. Eventually, they gave up and left. I should’ve gone home, too, but my limbs felt encased in cement. I sat there, staring out over the empty gun range until the sun dipped behind the mountain and cool night air raised goose bumps on my arms.

I’d made a lot of mistakes in my twenty-six years. More than my fair share. First to escape my mother, then to escape my past. I had a good thing with HORNET, but I saw myself sabotaging it and couldn’t seem to stop.

Maybe, deep down, I thought I didn’t deserve good things.

Nah, scratch that. Deep down, I knew I didn’t deserve good things. I’d hurt too many people and done too much damage.

If I went home now, I’d only wallow and hate myself more with each passing minute. To escape, I’d disappear into the digital world and become the very thing I’d spent most of my adult life atoning for: Khaos.

Yeah. Just another reason in a long list of many to stay away from Sami. I should’ve told her that night she confessed about her involvement with my hacktivist group. If she ever found out I was the reason she’d spent her teenage years in juvie, she’d hate me. Game over. No more lives.

Nope. I could not be alone with my computer now. So, like a reasonable adult, I went to town instead and found myself pulling up in front of The Snaz. There was a Bruce Springsteen cover band playing tonight, and I told myself I was there for the noise. The distraction.

The place was packed, but I found her instantly, surrounded by her fellow trainees. She was laughing, head thrown back, shining like the stars she loved so much.

I knew she’d be here.

Yep. Distraction, thy name is Sami.

She spotted me, and—I didn’t think it possible—her smile brightened. Despite everything, a grin stretched my lips as I edged around the crowd to her. How could I not smile when she exuded happiness?

“I saw you on the range,” I said, leaning in close so she’d hear me over the opening notes of “Born in the U.S.A.” “You rocked it.”

Color flushed her cheeks. Whether it was from the compliment, the heat of the crowd packed into a small space, or the beer, I couldn’t tell. Probably a bit of all three.

“I did, didn’t I?” She swept her hair out of her eyes and grinned up at me. “I never thought I could do anything like that. I never thought I was strong enough to—”

Blaze broke in, wedging into the sliver of space between us. “Drinks on Harvard!”

“Stop it,” Sami said, giving his shoulder a shove.

“Last one here buys the drinks, and he walked in last.” He spread his hands in a what-can-I-do gesture. “It’s the rule.”

Sami narrowed her eyes at him. “Since when do you care about rules, Decker?”

“Since it means I’m not buying drinks tonight.” With that, he elbowed his way to the bar.

Sami took a step after him. She looked like she was ready to go to war for me, which warmed away some of the ice coating my soul. Nobody had ever fought for me. I’d always had to fight for myself.

I grasped her hand to pull her back and used a bit more force than necessary. She fell against my chest, but instead of bouncing away like a rubber ball, she stuck. It wasn’t quite a hug, but we were body to body from thighs to chest. She tilted her head back, and her eyes—that fascinating color between blue and gray—turned to smoke.

I wanted to kiss her.

Nobody would know. HORNET was headed out on a mission. None of my teammates would walk in and see us. It would be so easy to bend down and claim her lips, taste what I’d been longing for since that kiss yesterday in my kitchen.

No.

Wait.

Who was I kidding? If I kissed her here, everyone would know. All of Class Alpha was in the bar, and they’d each tell their respective trainers. Christ knew Remy couldn’t keep a secret to save his life. Ian, his trainer, wouldn’t care, but if he and Jean-Luc ever had a few drinks together, that would be the end of my career. Maybe even Sami’s, too. I really had no idea how Gabe and Quinn would react or who they would punish. I hoped they’d only take it out on me, but with the way they were tightening the ship, they might decide Sami was too much trouble to keep around.

I took a step back and dropped her hand. She released a sharp breath, and I pretended not to notice the disappointment in her gaze. “It’s fine, Sami. I’ll buy a round to celebrate your success today. You deserve it.”

I held out an arm, indicating we should go to the bar. She hesitated only a beat before forging a path through the crowd.

Along with the other two bartenders on tonight, Asha was busy, but she gave us a wave hello as we edged up to the bar. She walked over a moment later and threw down a couple cheap cardboard coasters. “Hey, Sami. Harvard. What can I get started for you?”

I scanned the room, doing a head count of my people. “We’ll do four pitchers of the IPA.”

She laughed. “You were last here tonight, huh? Sure thing. Be right back.”

Asha worked her way down the bar, depositing pitchers in front of our group, and then she set the last one in front of Sami. She was laughing. “Your guys are the worst, Sami. Bad influences, every one of them.”

“Yeah, it’s like herding cats,” Sami said as I handed over my debit card for payment.

Across the bar, Wolfe held up his glass. “To Sami! Way to show us all how it’s done!”

“Sami!” the group echoed.

I raised my glass in toast but set it down without drinking anything when Asha came back with a troubled expression drawing her brows together. “Uh, Harvard? I’m sorry, but your card was declined. I tried it twice because I didn’t believe it. I know you’re good for it.” She handed the card back. “Do you have another one we can try?”

Weird. I gave her my credit card, but again she came back and shook her head.

“What?” My blood turned to ice, and I fumbled my new phone out of my pocket. I accessed my bank account and…

A whole bunch of zeros.

A substantial chunk of my savings, all gone.

I stood up so fast my chair tipped back and hit the floor with a thud that silenced everyone around us.

Sami stood and put a hand on my arm to steady me. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I was hacked.” The words were like a foreign language on my tongue, awkward and clumsy. My lips felt numb.

She went very still. “Hacked?”

“Someone drained my bank account.”

The pink in her cheeks faded to white. “What?”

Asha glanced back and forth between us. “I’m so sorry, but I need someone to pay for the drinks. Jack doesn’t run tabs.”

“Okay, okay. I got it.” Sami dug her wallet out of her purse, which only made the humiliation worse.

I blindly grabbed some bills from my wallet and slapped them down on the bar. Probably more than I needed to pay, but at that point I didn’t care if Asha got a hundred-dollar tip. I had to leave. Now. Couldn’t stay. It was too loud. Too hot. Too many people. I couldn’t breathe.

Even outside in the parking lot, I couldn’t make my lungs suck in the crisp night air. I. Was. Fucking. Hacked. I wasn’t worried about my money. I’d get it back. But I couldn’t ignore the fact that this was a deliberate attack, just like the worm in my network. Someone had a digital target painted on me, and I had no idea who it could be.

“Harvard,” Sami called behind me. “Wait!”