Chapter Nineteen

Harvard

Three days had passed since my mother showed up, and I hadn’t heard from her again. Felt like I was one of those old-timey cartoon characters walking around with an anvil hanging over my head, waiting for it to drop and flatten me. I’d called the bank first thing Monday morning to freeze my account and report the fraud. It had been a relatively painless process. I switched to one of the other bank accounts I’d opened years ago under a false name. Thankfully, it hadn’t been discovered by my hacker friend. At least that identity was still intact. Good to know if I had to disappear.

But, strangely enough, I didn’t want to disappear.

I spent the rest of my weekend scouring the online underworld for suspects. I’d hurt a lot of people as Khaos. People who I thought deserved to be hurt, as well as some who had once been friends. And others who were innocent, like Sami.

Sami.

As I tried to work, my mind kept revisiting her in the back seat of my car, her skin flushed, nipples peaked, my name on her lips.

Not really my name, though. Harvard was just another pseudonym. Nobody knew the real me, except—

Paradox.

My old partner in crime.

It made sense. He was the only person who knew sending my mom would cut me to the bone. And he, of all people, had plenty of reasons to want to see me suffer.

Shit.

Except, last I’d checked, he’d landed himself back in jail for hacking. I did a deep-dive search on him, and nothing popped. Far as I could tell, he was still in prison, but I knew better than anyone records were easy enough to hack. He had the skills for it.

A knock on the lab door startled me out of the digital world. I wasn’t expecting anyone. I knew it wasn’t Sami because she and the others were gearing up for a training mission near Yellowstone. And my teammates had all gone to South America. I was all set to be alone for the week.

I blinked up from the screen at the figure in the doorway. Quinn.

Quinn was an inscrutable bastard under the best of circumstances, but he had a completely neutral look on his face this morning, which could only mean trouble.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Talk. My office.” Without waiting for a reply, he walked away.

I hesitated, glancing around the computer lab. Nobody else around, so why did it feel like I’d just been called to the principal’s office over the PA system?

Quinn wasted no time once I stepped inside his office. He motioned for me to shut the door. I did, although it was pretty much the last thing I wanted to do.

He sat behind his desk and rubbed his forehead like he had a headache. “I heard through the grapevine that you and Sami went on a date the other night. Is that true?”

I resisted the urge to shift on my feet. “It wasn’t a date.”

“Yeah? ’Cause one of the other trainees saw you two fucking in your car outside The Snaz.”

“We weren’t—” I broke off and took a second to let my rising temper cool to a simmer. “Who said that?”

Wolfe? But I couldn’t see it. Yes, he was concerned for his best friend, but he wouldn’t rat us out like that.

Remy? Nah. If he’d caught us in my car, he’d have been thrilled. Probably would’ve even thrown confetti and waved around a big foam finger like he was rooting for a sporting event.

Gavin? Ha. That guy was too wrapped up in his own issues to worry about other people.

Blaze? He had a mean streak hidden under that bad-boy swagger. And, yet, it didn’t fit. Blaze didn’t like authority and wouldn’t have gone to Quinn if he had a problem with me—he would’ve thrown a punch.

Quinn’s face didn’t change, but I saw a flicker of something in his eyes, there and gone. “I received an anonymous email this morning.”

Fuck me. My hacker friend had been busy over the weekend. What other trouble had he stirred up? I was afraid to find out.

Quinn watched me like he knew I was hiding something. “What’s going on, H?”

In this case, my best defense was offense. “So what if we were? I like her. She likes me. I know I don’t have to explain to you how attraction works.”

“Don’t be a smartass. I get that you’re attracted to each other, but it’s…” He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. He looked like he’d rather be waterboarded than have this conversation. “I don’t want to say ‘unprofessional,’ because when have we ever been professional? But it’s not appropriate.”

“Appropriate?” That word made my blood boil. The relationship growing between us was more than appropriate. It was right. The rightest thing I’d ever felt in my life. “Who the fuck are you to talk to me about appropriate relationships? You slept with Mara while we were on a mission to protect her family. You got her pregnant. How was that appropriate?”

Quinn’s jaw tightened until it cracked. “Leave Mara out of this.”

“What about Gabe falling for Audrey while we were trying to rescue her brother? Seth and Phoebe in Afghanistan? Jesse and Lanie in Martinique? Jean-Luc and Claire in Nigeria? None of those relationships were appropriate, either, given the circumstances.”

Quinn was not a patient man like Gabe, and I could tell I was getting on his last nerve. “She’s too young.”

“She’s only five years younger than me.”

That gave him a moment’s pause. I saw the shock before he hid it. He genuinely hadn’t made that connection. The guys often forgot how much younger I was than them—except for when it came time to put me in the field; then suddenly I was the team’s “kid” again.

“Dammit, H,” Quinn said finally. “This is a different situation, and you know it.”

“Like hell it is.”

He slammed his hands down on his desk and slowly rose. “You’re stepping over the line.”

“I thought I already had. That’s why you suspended me.” I turned to leave, pent-up anger making my hand shake as I reached for the doorknob.

“Harvard. Eric,” he said when I didn’t respond to the nickname. He didn’t shout, but command snapped in his voice. “Listen to me. If you date Sami, her teammates will start treating her differently. They’ll think she’s getting special treatment. They’ll start to distrust her. You’ll be setting her up for failure.”

I stopped short and let the door fall shut. He was right. I knew he was right, which was why I’d tried to keep Sami at arm’s length. But after the other night, that was impossible. I wanted her close. I needed her close. As close as I could get her.

The steel disintegrated from my spine, and my shoulders slumped. I leaned forward until my forehead hit the cool wood of the door. Then I knocked it there again for good measure.

Behind me, Quinn sighed. “Look. I didn’t originally come here to argue or reprimand you. You just gotta know the score. Sami is a woman in a male-dominated field. Ask Lanie how hard that is. Don’t give her classmates ammo to use against her.”

Everything about that argument was logical. Usually, I was all about logic. So why did I want to argue with him?

“We’re on our way north for a training mission,” Quinn said after an extended moment of silence. “Jesse’s youngest brother is playing our hostage.”

I turned to face him, brow raised in question.

He offered a peacemaking smile—or a smirk, but that was as much of a smile as he ever gave. “I could use another body.”