Sam sat as still as a statue. Of all the things he imagined Ashton telling him, this was not even in the realm of his speculations. It wasn’t even something he would dream about. This was so far fetched he could not wrap his mind around any of it. He tried to dissect it so it would make sense.
Let’s see, first she did not remember getting to Colorado, only that she had needed to be here. Then she had met him at the lake. He remembered that. How she had seemed to have a glow around her as she had stood on the shore, just at the edge of the trees. Ok, that had been a little strange but it was just a trick of the light. Things seemed different in the thin mountain air, crisper, clearer more vibrant. The meeting had been brief and he remembered nothing unusual about it, other than the fact she had seemed like the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He remembered following her to her cabin, to see what she was about and if she was a danger to him. He had seen no one approach her, nor was there anyone waiting for her in the cabin. He knew this was true because he had looked in her window to see if she was alone. He remembered thinking it was strange that there was no car in the driveway, or anywhere else on her property.
He remembered then, with a slight jolt, how he had seen her crumple to the floor and then she had floated over to the couch, as if someone had been carrying her. How had he blocked that bit of information from his mind? He just now remembered it. Try as he might, he could not rationalize what he had seen. No trick of light could explain it away. Was she telling the truth? Of course not, how could she be? Things like this didn’t just happen everyday. They did not happen any day. So, if he was to believe her, he would have to believe she was brought back from the dead to live for two months and then die again. Was she insane? Did she really think for one minute he was buying all this spooky crap?
Sam’s eyes refocused and he looked at Ashton sitting across the table from him and he was again hit with her beauty, her sweetness and her appearance of openness. But he just couldn’t believe her or trust her for that matter. Not now. Not if this was the best story she could come up with.
“Ok,” he finally said, “let’s pretend for one minute that I take everything you have said has happened at face value and believe you. I would like to talk to this Saul. Now,” he emphasized. “If what you say is true, him being an angel and all, I should be able to see and talk to him, too, if he were to so choose. So, bring him here for me,” he finished with a challenge to her story.
Ashton had been watching Sam trying to digest the information she had just dumped on him. All in all she could not blame him for being skeptical. If she had been told a story like this, she would have been on the phone trying to have the men in white coats coming to her rescue.
“I can’t, Sam,” she said, “he seems to come and go whenever he wants and not on my command. I’ve tried to call him, summon him, whatever you want to call it, but it just doesn’t work like that. I would if I could, but I can’t,” she said letting the helplessness show in her eyes. “I know this is all hard to digest and believe, but I swear it is true and I am begging you to give it a chance, give us a chance,” she begged him. “Spend what time I have left with me, Sam.”
Sam sat still, trying to decide what to believe. She had no proof, nothing tangible and no witnesses. He wanted to believe, he wanted to trust her, but he was almost positive she was either a liar or a complete nut case. What should he do?
Sam got up from the table and looked down at Ashton. He needed time to think and he could not do it while she sat and watched him with those big green eyes, so full of trust and expectations. Her emotions swirled in the depths of those eyes as she waited, holding her breath for Sam’s reaction.
When he stood up, her heart fell to her feet. He was leaving, and she was sure he did not believe anything she had said. Could she blame him? She rose also, on wobbly legs, to face Sam. “You’re leaving,” she said. It was a statement and not a question.
“I am,” said Sam, “I need time. I will tell you now that I am inclined to think you are taking me for a ride. But I will give it a day of two and think things over. That’s as good as I can do for now,” he tried to let her down as easily as he could.
Ashton had to be ok with his decision. After all he had not come right out and told her to buzz off and take her tall tales with her, had he? She could cling to a small ray of hope and maybe he would come around to her way of thinking. If she could get a hold of Saul and convince him to visit Sam, maybe she would still have a chance at sharing love with him. Maybe.
Ashton followed Sam to the door and watched him through the screen as he walked stiff legged down the steps and got into his vehicle. She watched as he drove out of her driveway and disappeared from sight. She had a sinking feeling that she would not ever see him again. The realization that this could actually happen caused a pain to shoot straight through her chest. She shouldn’t have felt so strong about him, as they had only known each other for a few days. But she did. The pain of losing him was soul rending. Ashton felt paralyzed by it. She could not move and could hardly breathe.
Her hands gripped the side of the doorframe as she watched her driveway, willing Sam to turn around and come back. Come back and tell her that he loved her and would believe her on faith alone.
For what seemed like an eternity she stood looking out into the night. Finally, she turned back into the house and closed the door on the crisp night air. She made her way back into the kitchen, moving like an old woman, slowly, feet shuffling and hunched over. She looked at the sacks of groceries waiting for her to put away. The same ones she and Sam had just bought. They had had a great time buying things they both liked, and it was hard to imagine that it had only been a few hours ago. It felt like a lifetime since she had laughed with him. She had ruined it all by trying to be honest and spare Sam the hurt of not knowing what was to come.
Slowly she began to store the packages, finishing all too soon as she had not wanted to think and wanted to keep busy for a time. A time to forget. Ashton tried to remember that Sam had not totally left her, he had only left to think he had said. So she would cling to that small thread of hope. If she didn’t, she feared she would fall apart.
Half way across the kitchen, Ashton stopped dead in her tracks and stood with her eyes wide and her mouth agape. She knew. She knew without a shadow of a doubt what her purpose was here. It was Sam! She was meant to meet Sam and fall in love with him. If there had been more time would she have bore his children? She again ached because of all the life she would miss with him. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair! She was to be cheated out of loving the man she was destined to be with. Their love, if he came back, would still be in the fledgling stage when it would come to a crashing halt.
Ashton could feel herself flying into a thousand pieces at the pain that roared through her. She did not think she could hold it together knowing what she had finally come to realize. Her legs crumpled and she rolled into a ball on the floor, almost mad with the knowledge of what she felt and what was to come. She rolled onto her back, faced the ceiling and with clinched fists raised, she yelled out to the only person she could talk to and blame. “Saul, she roared, her voice booming with its rage. “SAUL!”