Ashton made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen to rustle up something to eat. She wanted something quick, so she could get back upstairs to Sam. Rummaging through the freezer, she located a TV dinner that looked like it had been in the freezer since Christ was a corporal, but it fit the bill of fast and easy, and if the truth be known, nuking food was Ashton’s only real talent in the kitchen. So she pulled it out, dusted the crystals of ice from the box, opened it, and placed the tray in the microwave for the allotted five minutes.
While she waited for the timer to sound that her food was done, Ashton pulled out a chair by the table and eased her weary body into it. She laid her head on her arm, thinking she would rest her eyes for a few minutes. However, rest evaded her, as thoughts and images of the day started replaying behind her closed eyelids.
Not yet wanting to relieve the experiences of the day, she opened her eyes, got up from her chair, and busied herself around the kitchen. She thought that if she kept her hands busy the time would go faster, as she moved the placemats on the table a fraction of an inch one way and then moved them back the other way, pushed on each cupboard door to make sure it was secured, and rearranged the silverware drawer. “Why did five minutes on a microwave always seem to take thirty,” she wondered to herself, impatient to eat and get back upstairs.
The microwave finally beeped, signaling her meal was ready. Ashton gathered her utensils, grabbed a potholder, and removed the cardboard looking burrito from the microwave. She decided a little fresh air would do her good, so she carried her tray to the small table on the porch, and settled into one of the chairs.
Instead of digging right into her food, Ashton took a moment to look out over the mountains and the sun that was beginning to set. The beauty of the outdoors never failed to amaze and inspire her. She had been here about a month, and had never seen two sunsets exactly alike, their colors and cloud patterns were ever changing.
Ashton tried to look at each day as if it were her last, because it might be. She wanted to take everything in, drink in the sights, and absorb the wildness of the mountains. Saul had been right, she’d needed the fresh air and a little time to unwind.
Thinking of Saul brought Sam back to mind, prompting Ashton to lift her fork and begin eating, so she could return to his side. She took a bite and thought, Hummmm, looked like cardboard, tasted like cardboard, must be cardboard. The thought brought a slight smile to her lips. It was nice to still be able to find humor in life, despite the recent chain of events that would send anyone into an emotional downward spiral.
Ashton ate about half of her meal then turned up her nose and pushed it away from in front of her, considering herself a saint for forcing that much in. Maybe I should have checked the expiration date before I ate it, she thought. Finding the humor in that she smiled and reminded herself, What’s the worst that could happen, I could get sal and die? Not likely, considering she was already dead.
Ashton carried her tray and silver into the kitchen, disposing of the tray in the garbage and tossed her silver into the sink. She grabbed a soda out of the fridge, popping the top as she made her way back out to the porch. She leaned against the railing, once again studying the colors of the sky. She tried not to think of the future but sometimes, like now, it snuck up on her. She wanted to be spending this time with Sam, having his arms wrapped around her as together they watched the sunset, anticipating a quiet evening together. She didn’t know if you could take memories with you when you died, but she was going to make sure she had plenty of wonderful ones with Sam stored up.
She set her can down on the porch railing, reached her arms over her head, and arched her back, stretching each muscle and joint in turn until they creaked and popped.
Shaking her arms loose at her sides, Ashton took one more deep breath of mountain air, drank the last of her soda, and then went back inside the cabin. She looked at the clock ticking above the sink, and found she had spent a relaxing forty-five minutes outside, something she’d sorely needed. She threw her empty can in the trash, washed her hands and face, and headed back up the stairs, ready for another bedside vigil beside the man she loved.
When she entered the room, she noticed that Saul had moved Sam into the middle of the bed, where he appeared to be resting comfortably. His skin, when she touched it, was not as warm as before, and his breathing was deep and steady.
“We did good, didn’t we Saul?” she asked, pride and accomplishment in her voice as she gazed up at the angel she now considered her friend.
Saul had been standing by the door, watching the way Ashton fussed over Sam, touching him here and there as she rearranged the sheets and checked his condition.
“Yes, Ashton,” he replied, “we did very good. Between the two of us, we have saved a life.”
Ashton’s eyes grew wider and more desperate as she looked into Saul’s eyes with her own that were huge and damp. “Can’t we save mine, Saul?” she quietly implored.
Pain, worse than that he’d transferred from Sam, rushed through the angel. He wanted, with all of his being, to be able to say yes to Ashton’s simple request. He wanted to grant her a reprieve from death so she could know the happiness of life with Sam, bear his children, and be old and satisfied with her life’s work when death finally came for her. But he could not. He wanted to shriek with his frustration.
“Come here, Ashton,” he said quietly holding out a hand for her to take.
Ashton came to stand before him and grasped the hand held out to her. As they stood there holding hands, Saul’s body took on that same glow Ashton had noticed when he took Sam’s pain from him. She began to feel an inner warmth fill her chest, and a sense of well-being came over her. Saul had done the only thing he could for her, and that was to take the sadness from her heart and replace it with anticipation of her time to come with Sam. Ashton’s sadness was now his, and he wanted to weep with the emotions that now filled his being.
Saul held Ashton’s hand tight trying to reassure her all would be well. “You will be happy, Ashton,” he said looking deep into her eyes. “What has happened to you is not fair, nor was it right, but it cannot be undone. Make the most of the time you have left. Feel everything and do everything with all the strength and wonder you can.”
Ashton felt the warmth travelling up her arm, infusing her whole body. She knew Saul was helping her, and she gave herself over to his powers. They held hands for a moment longer, then she gripped the angel’s hand tighter as if to say thanks. Gently removing her hand from his, she turned her attention back to Sam’s motionless figure on the bed.
She sat on the bed beside Sam, resting her hand on his chest that was gently rising and falling with each breath. She could feel his heart beating strong as she fixed her eyes on his face and studied him. With her other hand she traced the features of his handsome face, the dark brows that covered beautiful blue eyes, the slope of his nose, the full mouth that she longed to kiss, his cheekbones and chin now covered in a soft dusting of whiskers. She ran her fingers through his silky black hair, pushing it gently from his brow. She memorized every detail with her eyes and hand, storing it all up for the time when she would no longer be able to see or touch him.
As the time ticked by and Sam continued to rest beneath her bedside vigil, Ashton began to feel sleepy, and was finding it more and more difficult to keep her eyes open. She would find her eyes drifting shut and her head bobbing onto her chest, before she would snap them back open, blinking rapidly to chase away the fatigue that threatened to take over. Finally, giving in to her fatigue, Ashton lay down carefully, snuggling in beside Sam, and pulling the sheet and blanket up under her chin.
“It’s only for a minute, Saul,” she said without opening her eyes.
Saul watched as she entwined her fingers with Sam’s, gave a final sigh, a gentle smile on her lips, and fell into a much-needed sleep. He watched her a few more minutes, making sure she was truly asleep, and then he too closed his eyes.
But he was not going to rest. He had work to do, and it was time he got started.