With a low moan, Joss rested her forehead against the suite’s thick outer door. She did not want to open it. She really, really didn’t.
Shutting her eyes, she sucked in a slow breath, peeled herself off the door and fled back to the bedroom.
When she flung the door wide, she found Jace right where she’d left him, sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing nothing but a slight frown.
One look at her expression and he jumped to his feet. “What? Who is it?”
She let out a groan. “You’d better get dressed.”
“What’s going on?”
“It’s my mother.”
He dropped back to the edge of the bed. “Wait a minute. Your mother. Here at the resort?”
She nodded. As if on cue, her mother knocked for the third time, five swift, hard raps on the outer door.
Jace jumped up again and came for her. Before she could think to jerk away, he caught her face between his hands. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay.”
“Oh, I’m so glad one of us thinks so.” She bit back a sob. His touch felt so good. As good as ever. Was that right? Was that fair?
And then he kissed her, the lightest brushing breath of a kiss. That felt good, too. It comforted her in spite of everything. “Now you go on, let her in,” he said gently. “I’ll put some clothes on.”
She laughed, a slightly wild sound. “Great idea. Ahem. I mean, you know. That you should get dressed...” God, she was babbling. Losing it. Holding on to composure by the tiniest of threads.
“There’s nothing to worry about,” he said. “It’s good that she’s here.”
“Good?” she whispered desperately. “How can it be good?”
“Well, because it means that you two can work everything out now, all the stuff that’s been tearing you apart.”
“But I...she’s not...we can’t...” She sputtered into silence.
“It’s okay,” he said again. “Go let her in.” He took her shoulders, turned her around and gave her a gentle push.
She went. What choice did she have?
Quietly, he shut the bedroom door behind her.
And she kept walking, one foot in front of the other, across the living area, back into the foyer, right up to the outer door. She undid the chain, turned the dead bolt.
And pulled the door back. “Mom, hi.” RaeEllen had her two large black rolling suitcases, one to either side of her. She planned on a long stay apparently, “It’s, um, good to see you,” Joss said. She leaned forward and kissed her mother’s cheek. Then she stepped back so her mom could enter.
Glancing suspiciously from side to side, RaeEllen crossed the threshold, pulling one of the suitcases behind her.
Joss stepped around her and brought in the other one. She shut the door. “This is...a surprise.”
RaeEllen settled her favorite brown purse more comfortably on the shoulder of her cream-colored summer blazer. “You’re not even dressed? At this hour? It’s almost ten.”
Joss kept her smile in place. “Just leave your purse on the table there. And come on into the living area. Things have been so busy. There’s so much to do in such a short time.” She was babbling again, and she knew it. But somehow, she couldn’t seem to stop herself. “We just heard a few minutes ago that we bought the restaurant we offered on and we’re very excited that the deal went through, that our plans are—”
“A restaurant? You bought a restaurant?”
“Yes, we did. We’re so excited. And we’ve been looking for a house, and getting the invitations out, and finding a place to stay in the interim. Plus there’s all the wedding stuff—arranging for the cake and settling on the menu. It goes on and on. Today’s another big day because we’ll be moving to—”
“We?” Her mother’s pale blue eyes widened.
“Yeah. Jason, my fiancé, and me. We have to be out of the suite by noon and we’re moving temporarily to an apartment down in town. I sent you a note about that, along with a wedding invitation. But of course, you didn’t get it yet. And anyway, we were both worn out with all the running around, pulling everything together, so we decided to indulge ourselves and sleep in a little. We were tired, you know? Just beat.”
RaeEllen held on to her brown bag for dear life and blinked several times in rapid succession. “He’s here, in this room, with you?”
“That’s right.” Joss reminded herself not to clench her teeth. “Jason’s in the bedroom actually. He’s getting dressed.”
“Oh. Getting dressed. Then you’re telling me he...well, I mean, that you and he...”
Joss had had enough. “Come on, Mom. Stop acting like the parson’s wife in some Jane Austen novel. Yes, not only are Jace and I getting married, we are already living together. And it’s working out great.” Well, except for the fact that I love him and he doesn’t love me....
“It’s working out great,” RaeEllen repeated in a tone that said it didn’t sound the least great to her.
“Yes, that’s what I said. We’re very happy together.”
“But you hardly know this man and only three weeks ago you were supposed to have married Kenny, who is deeply, deeply hurt by your desertion, who only wants a chance to make you happy, to—”
“Mom. Whoa. Stop.” Joss waved both her hands in front of her mother’s face. “This is kind of a loop we’re into here, Mom. Can we please stop going round and round about things we’ve already discussed and don’t seem capable of coming to any agreement on?”
Her mother’s mouth drew painfully tight. “Of course. Whatever you say.”
Joss focused on her mother’s words and tried her best to ignore the angry, disapproving tone. “Thank you. I appreciate that.” She straightened her robe, an action that, for some reason, caused her mother to gasp. Joss was trying to figure out what exactly that gasp meant when RaeEllen reached out and grabbed her hand—her left hand.
“Lovely.” Her mother sounded sincere as she studied Joss’s engagement ring.
Joss tried to tell herself that maybe there was hope for the situation after all, that her mom might actually try to make the best of things. “Oh, I know. I love it.”
RaeEllen glanced up, and delivered the zinger. “It looks real.”
That did it. Joss withdrew her hand. “I’m not kidding, Mom. I know you’ve had a long trip and I would like to be glad you’ve come, but I’ve had enough.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I’m not going to sit still and let you run over me. I’m not a little girl anymore. I’m a grown woman and I get to determine the direction of my own life, which you used to understand perfectly. Either you start behaving in a civil manner and treat me like an adult again, or you can just roll those suitcases right out the door and head for home.”
Her mother looked stricken. “But I drove all the way here. As you’ve already mentioned, it was a very long trip and I’m exhausted.”
“Then you’d better stop with the mean remarks, hadn’t you? Or you’ll be on the road again.”
RaeEllen assumed an injured air. “You don’t want me here? Is that what you’re telling me?”
Joss tried valiantly to form an answer to that one. But what could she say? The truth was she didn’t want her mother there. Not unless she changed her tune.
RaeEllen spoke again, more gently. “It’s only, well, I felt I should come. I felt we should...work out our differences.”
“And that’s admirable, Mom.” Warily, she eyed the two large suitcases. “So...you were thinking you would stay right through to the wedding?”
Her mother pressed her lips together and nodded sharply. “As long as it takes, yes. I have some family leave stored up.”
Joss was stuck back there with that first sentence. “As long as what takes?”
Her mother smoothed her short, fine brown hair. “I wonder, could I have a glass of water?”
Joss resisted the overwhelming desire to lay down the law. She’d already made herself more than clear. Going into it all again right this moment would only be hooking back into the loop she’d accused her mother of falling into. “Of course,” she finally said. “Come on into the living area.”
“My suitcases...”
“Just leave them here for now.” She turned to enter the main area of the suite, her mother close on her heels. “Have a seat.” She gestured at the sofa and went to the wet bar, where she filled a glass with ice and opened one of the complimentary bottles of spring water.
Jace appeared, fully dressed in nice jeans, a knit shirt and the usual high-dollar boots. He went straight to her mother. “Mrs. Bennings, hello.” He laid on the Texas charm, bowing a little at the waist as he reached across the coffee table. “How great to meet you.”
Even her sour-hearted mom couldn’t completely resist him. She gave him her hand. He cradled it between his two larger ones, and he hit her with one of those lady-killer smiles of his, the kind that could break a woman’s heart at twenty paces.
Her mom sniffed. “It’s Ms. Bennings, thank you.” Delicately, she withdrew her hand.
Joss hurried to Jace’s rescue. “But only to strangers.” Jace straightened and slid her a questioning look. Blithely, she went on, “Of course, you’ll call her RaeEllen.” She gave her mother a steely-eyed glance. “Unless you’d prefer ‘Mom’?”
“Ahem. Well.” RaeEllen nodded at Jace. “Yes. RaeEllen, of course. So nice to meet you.” Joss set the glass of ice and bottle of water in front of her. “Thank you, Jocelyn.”
Joss nodded, and dropped the bomb on poor Jace. “Mom is planning to stay until the wedding.”
Carefully, her mother poured the water over the ice. She said nothing.
Jace said, “Ah. Well, that’s great.” His smile had slipped a little.
Joss watched him, her heart twisting. She loved him. And he didn’t do love.
And now her mother was here with that strange, determined look in her hazel eyes. That couldn’t be good.
But she could deal with her mother—if only things didn’t go wrong with Jace.
He’d said he still wanted the life they had planned.
But did he really?
Had her passionate declaration changed everything for him? Was he second-guessing now, thinking about how he wasn’t really the marrying kind after all? That this was all a big mistake, the two of them? That it had happened much too fast, with her on the rebound—and maybe him, too, when you came right down to it. Because there had been that rich oilman’s daughter, Tricia. Even though he said it wasn’t love with Tricia, well, he had proposed to her. And she’d said no.
And he’d gone into something of a depression after that.
So was he maybe now seeing the future they’d been planning as another trap he needed to escape? Was he...
No.
Uh-uh.
She was not going there.
He’d said straight to her face that he still wanted to marry her. If he’d changed his mind, he could have just said so. She’d given him an opening. A really wide opening.
And he’d refused to take it.
If he wanted out, he could tell her. He was a grown man fully capable of speaking his mind.
But what if I want out now? What if I’ve decided I don’t want a marriage without love?
She turned those painful questions over in her mind, and realized that it wouldn’t be a loveless marriage. At least not on her end.
And she didn’t want to back out. Not on her life. She wanted Jace and she wanted everything he offered her—wanted her dream, just as she’d always imagined it might be. Especially now that her dream would include the most important part: the man she loved. He said he still wanted to live her dream with her.
She would have to be crazy to turn her back on that. And she wouldn’t. No way.
She let out a heavy sigh.
And realized that both Jace and her mother were staring at her—Jace kind of nervously, her mom in a measuring, calculating way.
Fine. Let ’em stare. “Mom, there’s a second bedroom at the apartment where Jace and I will be staying until we find a house. You’re welcome to it.” She caught Jace’s eye and challenged, “Right, Jace?”
She had to give him credit. He didn’t even flinch. “Absolutely. RaeEllen, we’d be happy to have you stay with us.”
Whatever her mother’s real agenda, she had the grace to hesitate. “Really, I can get a hotel room. I don’t want to impose.”
Jace stepped right up. “It’s no imposition, RaeEllen. You’re family, after all.”
Milo Quinn’s office was only a few blocks from the Mountain Bluebell Bakery and the apartment above it, so Joss and Jason walked to their three o’clock appointment.
An hour later, they left Milo’s office with a signed contract on the Hitching Post. Clouds had gathered in the wide Montana sky when they emerged onto Pine Street. A few random drops started falling as they strolled north to Main.
Jace glanced up at the gray underbelly of the thick cloud cover. “We’d better get moving or we’re going to get wet.”
So they ran around the corner and down the block. They ducked through the bakery’s front door just as the sky opened up and the downpour began. One of Lizzie’s employees gave them a smile and a wave as they headed up the stairs to the apartment above.
She got to there first. The doorknob wouldn’t turn. She sighed. “My mom’s used to city life. She’s locked herself in.” She raised her hand to knock.
Jace caught her wrist before her knuckles connected with the door. “We have to talk.” His voice was so deep and more than a little rough.
Her heart did something unsettling inside her chest. And her skin felt all tingly and warm. Her breath snagging in her throat, she turned to him, met those dark velvet eyes that burned into hers, smelled the spicy, green, electric scent that belonged to only him....
“Talk? About what?” She was pleased that aside from a certain huskiness, her voice betrayed none of her excitement. She didn’t want to be excited by him. Not now. Not with her new—and unreturned—love so fresh and raw within her.
He looked at her steadily. “It’s not the same. You’re...distant. Cool to me.”
She shrugged. “Be patient. I’ll get over it.” She wouldn’t. But she would get used to it—at least she hoped she would. She’d learn to live with being alone in love.
His gaze burned darker, more intense. “Listen, do you need me to say it? I can just say it if it’s what you need.”
She took his meaning and whispered low, “You would say that you love me, even though you don’t?”
“It’s only words.”
“To you maybe.”
He still held her wrist. And didn’t let go. Instead, he guided it back behind her and brought her up close against his broad, rocklike chest. “Whatever you want. Just say it. I’ll do it.”
Her breasts felt oversensitive, pressing as they did into the hardness and heat of him. Her body burned. And her heart...
It ached. A deep, thick kind of ache. An ache that was almost pleasurable. She didn’t have his love. But he did want her. A lot. It was something. Not enough, but still. Better than nothing.
“Okay, Jace. You go ahead. You say it. You lie to me.”
His arm banded tighter and he pulled her even closer. What breath she had left came out in a gasp.
And then he said it, roughly, angrily, his breath warm and sweet across her cheek. “I love you, Joss.”
She tipped her head to the side, opened her mouth slightly and ran her tongue over her upper lip, openly taunting him. His eyes burned brighter and a muscle jumped in his jaw. “Hmm,” she said with a smile that wasn’t really a smile at all. “Somehow it doesn’t have the ring of truth, you know? And what good is a lie to me? Not a whole lot.”
“Joss...” He said her name very low that time. It was a warning. And also, somehow, a plea. “I just don’t want to lose you over this, okay? Over three little words. How stupid would that be? No, I don’t get the whole love thing. I think it’s a crock. You want to be with someone, build a life with someone, or you don’t. And the point is, I want a life with you. And you want the same thing with me.”
She hitched her chin higher. “I’m not arguing. We’re on the same page with this.”
“Are we?” He didn’t look convinced.
And she was softening. How could she help it, with his fine, big body pressed against hers, tempting her? And his heated words in her ears, reminding her that he did care, that he wanted her, that he had promised to be a true husband to her. And that she believed him on all those points, believed in him.
The L-word shouldn’t matter so much. It was what a person did that mattered.
“Yes.” She let her tone go soft as her heart. “Yes, we’re on the same page.” She reached up with the hand he hadn’t trapped behind her back and caressed the slightly stubbled line of his so-manly jaw. “We just bought our business. We’re going to find the right house. We’re getting married and we’re going to have as many kids as the good Lord will grant us.”
“It’s gonna be great,” he said fervently, the contract in his free hand crackling a little as he tightened his fist on it. “You’ll see.”
“I know.” She gave him a real smile that time, even if it was a little wobbly. “Yes, it will be. Great.”
“Joss...” He whispered her name as his fine mouth swooped down to cover hers.
Her knees went loose and she sagged back heavily against the door. Oh, that mouth of his—it played over hers, hitting every sweet, hot, perfect note. It was a symphony he created, every time he kissed her. Slow and tempting, fast and hot. He varied the notes and the rhythms. He swept her away on a warm tide of pleasure. She sighed and surrendered to the spell that he wove.
And then, just she was sliding her free hand up to clasp his neck and pull him even closer, the door behind her gave way.
With a sharp little cry, she stumbled backward.
“What the...” Jace growled.
Somehow, she managed to stay on her feet. She whirled to find her mother standing there, hazel eyes wide with pretended surprise.
“Oh!” RaeEllen exclaimed. “Well, I’m sorry. I thought I heard a knock....”
“Not a problem,” Joss lied, as she straightened her light summer shirt and recovered her dignity.
Jace actually chuckled. “Caught us in the act, RaeEllen.”
RaeEllen only pinched up her mouth and smoothed her hair. “I’m glad you’re back. I’ve made a list of the staples we absolutely must have to function around here. And Jason, I was thinking that maybe you could make a quick run to the local supermarket while Jocelyn and I finish putting our things away.”
Joss saw right through her mother. It was divide and conquer time. She was sending Jace away so she could go to work on Joss. Not happening. “We can deal with that later, Mom. We’re invited to dinner at Jace’s cousin Dax’s house tonight.”
“But we’ll at least need eggs and coffee for breakfast tomorrow.”
“Actually, we won’t. We can just walk downstairs to the bakery. The breakfast croissants have eggs, ham, sausage—whatever you want in them. And they are to die for.”
“That could get expensive.”
“Mom, it’s one day. We’ll shop for food tomorrow, after breakfast, when it’s not pouring down rain.”
Jace spoke up. “Give me the list, RaeEllen. I’ll be happy to pick up what we need right now.”
Joss whirled on him. “We should talk.” She grabbed his hand. “Come in the bedroom.” She sent her mother a withering glance. “Mom, we’ll be right back.”
RaeEllen knew when to keep her mouth shut. She gave a tight little smile and let them go.
Jace went willingly enough. Joss towed him to the larger bedroom at the back of the apartment, dragged him inside and shut the door.
He went over and dropped to the edge of the old-fashioned double bed with its dark headboard and bright log cabin quilt.
She stayed near the door. “You know what she’s doing, don’t you?”
He didn’t even have to think about it. “She wants to get you alone and tell you all the reasons you shouldn’t marry me.”
“So why are you letting her get away with it?”
“Because you can’t avoid her forever. She’s staying right here in the apartment with us. You might as well face her down at the gate, let her know you’re not running scared and she’d better straighten up and fly right or she can get back in that big old Buick of hers and head home to Sacramento.”
He was right, of course.
But still. “I have let her know. It doesn’t do any good.”
“So tell her to go home.”
“I’m...not at that point yet. Close. But not yet.”
He got up then. He came to her, clasping her shoulders between his strong hands. “You need to show her she doesn’t get to you.”
“But that’s just it. She does get to me—and don’t tell me you don’t know exactly what I’m going through here. Remember that first day we met? When you practically begged me to go to the Rib Shack with you, to pretend to be your date so your family would stop trying to set you up?”
He grunted. “You would have to remind me. They were driving me nuts.”
“So all right, then. You understand. And I mean it. Don’t leave me alone with her.”
“Joss, you’re only putting off the inevitable.”
“That’s right. I keep hoping I’ll get lucky and she’ll decide to back off and be reasonable.”
He shook his head. “She seems pretty determined.”
She made a face at him. “She’s determined, all right. Determined to put a stop to our wedding. Think about that. Out on the landing a few minutes ago, you were all about how you really, really do want to marry me.”
“It’s true,” he said simply. “I do want to marry you.” His words touched her. He was such a big, handsome bundle of contradictions. He couldn’t say the L-word without scowling. Yet he sincerely wanted to make a life with her.
“My mother is up to no good,” she said.
“Joss, she came all the way here to Montana to try and make it up with you.”
She wrinkled her nose at him. “That is so not what she’s here for.”
He caught a lock of her hair, rubbed it between his fingers. “Talk to her.”
She could become seriously annoyed with him. “When it’s your mother, you can’t run away fast enough. But when it’s my mom, I’m supposed to hold my ground and talk it out.”
“You’re a woman. Women are better at all that crap.”
“Crap,” she muttered. “A truer word was never spoken.”
He slid his hand up under her hair and clasped her nape. Lovely sensations cascaded through her. And then he pressed his lips so tenderly to hers. “Talk to her.”
Five minutes later, he was out the door.
And she was alone with her scheming mother, who took her hands and dragged her into the long, narrow kitchen and down to the little round table at the far end.
“Sit down,” RaeEllen said in her warmest, most conciliatory tones. “Let’s catch up a little....”
Reluctantly, Joss sat.
“Jason is very handsome,” her mother said carefully, a brave soldier in a dangerous field of hair-trigger land mines. “Very charming and very...compelling.”
“Yes, he is.”
“And I gather he’s got money.”
“Yes, he does.”
“I can understand how he might have swept you off your feet.” RaeEllen paused. Presumably so that Joss could agree with her.
Joss said nothing.
Her mother forged on. “But really, how can he possibly be in love with you, or you with him?”
Love. Joss felt the muscles between her shoulder blades snap tight. The last thing she wanted to discuss with her mother was love. It was way too sensitive a subject right then.
And she didn’t want her mother to know that. RaeEllen was trolling for weaknesses. Joss refused to show her any. She ordered those tense muscles to relax and she kept her face composed.
RaeEllen kept going, rattling off her list of reasons that Joss and Jace were doomed to failure as a couple. “You met so recently. It’s just...well, Jocelyn, it’s a fling. On the rebound. And the last thing a woman should ever do is marry a man with whom she is having an affair on the rebound.”
Joss couldn’t resist. She got in a jab of her own. “Is that what happened with you and my father?”
RaeEllen stiffened. “I beg your pardon. We are not discussing your father.”
“I’m just trying to determine how you’re such an expert on affairs and flings and getting something going on the rebound. The way I remember it, there was just my father. And when he left, that was pretty much it for you.”
“Jocelyn, this is not about me.”
Joss let out a slow breath and shook her head. “Mom, you’re wrong. I think this is very much about you. About you and your fears and your inability to move on, to try again with a man after Dad walked out.”
“No. No, it’s not.” RaeEllen put a hand to her chest. Two bright spots of color had bloomed on her cheeks. “It most certainly is not. This is about you. About the wonderful man who loves you and forgives you for making a fool of him in front of three hundred people on your wedding day.”
“I did not make a fool of Kenny. He did that to himself by rolling around half-naked with my own cousin in the coat room of the church.”
“That never happened.”
“Mom, it happened. I saw it with my own eyes.”
“What happened is that you got cold feet. I remember that you were having second thoughts. You confided in me, don’t you recall?”
“Yes, I do recall. Quite clearly. You convinced me that all brides have second thoughts and I should go through with the wedding. You blew me off.”
“No, I did not. I helped you to see that you shouldn’t let your unfounded fears get in the way of your happiness.”
Joss braced an elbow on the table and rested her forehead in her hand. “This is going nowhere.”
“We need to talk about this.”
“We have talked about this. I have no idea why you’re so obsessed with convincing me to get back together with a self-absorbed jerk who cheated on me on our wedding day. But I can’t argue with you about this any longer. I am finished. I am marrying Jace and I’m never going near Kenny Donovan again and that’s the end of it.”
“But you—”
“The end of it, Mom. It’s over. Stop.”
“But I have to—”
Joss dropped her hand flat, smacking the table. The sound was loud and sharp in the small space. “Enough. I’ve had it. I can’t take this any longer. I’m sorry I can’t get through to you. And it doesn’t matter what you do, you are not going to change my mind.”
“Kenny loves you. He loves you so much. And you are cruel and cold to him. How can you be like that? Why can’t you see how horribly you’re behaving?”
It was the final straw. “That’s it. The end. I want you to go back to Sacramento, Mom. I want you out of this apartment. I’ve got sixteen days until Jace and I get married. They are going to be busy days. I can’t have you at me every chance you get, battering away at me, so sure of your righteousness, so certain that eventually you will wear me down. You won’t wear me down. What you’ll do is ruin what should be a beautiful, busy, exciting two weeks.”
“You just want me out of here so you can be alone with that man.”
Joss let out a laugh that sounded more like a groan. “You know what? That’s right. I do want to be alone with Jace. Why wouldn’t I want to be alone with him? Jace is funny and tender and smart.” Even if he isn’t in love with me. “And all he wants is to give me the life I’ve always dreamed of. What’s not to like about that, Mom?”
“What happens when he gets tired of you?”
That hurt. That really hurt. She answered firmly. “He wants to be with me. He’s not going to get tired of me.”
“You are blind. Foolish and blind.”
Back at ya, Mom. “I mean it. I want you to go.”
Jace returned at twenty after five, his arms loaded with groceries. “There are more in the car. Where’s your mom?”
“In her room. Sulking.” She took one of the bags from him and turned for the kitchen. “She’ll be leaving tomorrow morning.” He followed her in there and they set the bags on the counter.
He asked, low-voiced so there was no chance her mother might hear, “You’re sending her away?”
“Yes, I am.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. I’ll make it clear she’s still welcome to come for the wedding.”
He took her hand, turned it over, wove his fingers with hers. “You okay?”
What happens when you get tired of me? “I’ve been better.”
He pulled her close, into the circle of those powerful arms. She let herself lean on him, breathed in the special scent that belonged only to him, told herself that she wasn’t going to let her mother’s cruel, misguided words get to her.
But those words were in her head now. Stuck there. Along with the bald facts: She loved him and he didn’t love her.
He’d told her right up front that he’d always been a player, that he’d never been one to settle down, not until his whirlwind affair with the rich oilman’s daughter. And now, he was doing it again, with her, with Joss.
Could a man really change that much? Or was this just some phase he was going through? He thought he ought to settle down, so he’d swept her off her feet and then proposed, just like he’d done with Tricia Lavelle.
He was the last single guy in his family. Maybe that was getting to him. Maybe he was trying to conform to his family’s idea of what a man was supposed to do with his life.
Was it only a matter of time before he realized that marriage and a big house full of rowdy kids wasn’t for him after all?
The questions spun round and round in her head. She told herself to ignore them. She wasn’t going to let them ruin her happiness.
She held on to Jace tighter. It was going to be all right with them. He wouldn’t get tired of her. She believed in him, in what they had together.
Everything would work out fine....