IT WAS CONSISTENTLY more active than the Chapel and the library and the recreation room and sometimes even more active than the cafeteria. The room had ten stationary bicycles, two treadmills, a fair number of small duo-handled devices and weights to exercise either arms or legs, a large wall-rack holding dozens of dumbbells, four fitness benches, something that looked like a rectangular rowboat but not resting in water, a lot of round things on the floor that looked like half-balls with their bottoms cut-off to be flat, and a huge device that looked like it was handed down from a medieval torture chamber. There were also two basketball hoops but they weren’t across from each other. The room, of course, was the gymnasium meant only for exercising but, inappropriately, at noon in one of the room’s corners was Traci Howe teaching Angus Glass to dance. She was wearing a gray baggy sweat-suit and he was wearing Levis and a white shirt sealed all the way up to the top-button at the neck. Sitting on the hardwood floor was a tall scrawny young man with more hair than he had head and neck and he was wearing a red T-shirt that had a big picture of Mickey Mouse’s face sewn on its front and the back of the T-shirt was blue with a big picture of Donald Duck. He was clapping his hands to sustain a rhythm for Angus and Traci who had to be content with the dismal substitution for music that he provided. He had become a human metronome, and seemed proud to be one.
“We need a melody!” Traci almost hollered.
While retaining his duties as a metronome, he started humming something that seemed to have a few different tones so perhaps it could have been thought of as a melody.
President Jared was walking in the hall outside the gymnasium, passed the open doorway and then, on hearing the clapping hands and humming, walked back to the open doorway and yelled out, “Hey, Sinatra! Do you know the words to ‘Open the Door, Richard’?”
“No, sir,” the man who strived to make a melody said.
“Well, I would expect not. It’s an old one. An old ditty. Keep it up, boy. Next thing you know you’ll be singing at Carnegie Hall!” And he walked on.
Traci stopped dancing so as not to laugh right in Angus’s face.
“What’s so funny?” Angus asked.
“Mr. Jared—President Jared. He’s so funny!”
“I don’t get it.”
“Neither do I but that doesn’t make any difference.”
“Did he say to open the door, Richard?”
“I think so. I guess it’s an old song. It doesn’t make any difference!”
Now the man who had been a successful metronome and had been complimented by the Acting President of the United States joined in the conversation. “But the door is open. I didn’t want to tell him, but it was wide open anyway. So you can’t open what’s already open. And, hey, you guys were dancing real good. Hey, that was a real blast!”
Traci nodded. “You were really doing good, Vahdy! I don’t think he even saw Angus and me. He was taken with your talent. Did you hear what he said about you? I’ll bet no President of the United States ever told anyone that they’d be singing at Carnegie Hall. I’ll bet right now you could be in the Guinness Book of World Records. I’ll vouch for the fact that it really happened. Wouldn’t you vouch for it, Angus? They need witnesses.”
“I’d vouch for the fact that Eli Jared said it, but that won’t get Vahdy here in the book of records. Eli Jared is not the President of the United States. He has no title. I don’t call him Mister President. Because he isn’t. He’s Mr. Jared and that’s what I call him.”
“Aren’t you thoughtful, Angus! That will surely win the war.”
“All I do is tell the truth.”
“You’re a silly old toad!” And she backed away from Angus Glass. “I don’t want to teach you how to dance anymore.”
“Well, a silly old toad—come on.”
“Okay, then you’re a silly young toad.”
“You won’t think I’m so silly when I’m Vice President under President Desmond.”
“Good. Then you can put me in jail.”
“I won’t put anyone in jail when I become Vice President.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of. Angus, let’s go over to the bikes. People are listening to us here. Vahdy! You want some exercise?”
The three of them walked to the stationary bicycles, and Traci promptly sat on one and started pedaling. Angus sat on the seat of the stationary bicycle next to hers without pedaling, and Vahdy was content to continue standing, this time leaning against the wall.
Angus gripped the handlebars but still didn’t even attempt to move his legs as he was too interested in what he was thinking to divert any effort to anything else. “Traci, this is supposed to be the Surviving Executive Branch of the United States, isn’t it?”
“Yes. I know what Sebotus stands for.”
“But it isn’t, is it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Does the Surviving Executive Branch of the United States mean that we make sure we survive and we don’t do anything to bring about the end of the killing? What kind of government is this? I don’t like it and I wish I wasn’t part of it.”
She stopped peddling and looked at him sharply. “What is it that you’d do, Angus, if you were in charge?”
“I’ve thought about it a lot.”
“Good.”
“A lot.”
“Good. What did you come up with? What is the Angus Glass plan for victory?”
“It’s not a plan for victory. See? That’s what you have wrong. We aren’t going to be victorious. We have to have a plan to end the killing.”
“And what’s your plan for survival without victory?”
“To think in terms of their culture; their beliefs; their hatred of us and understand that it’s our foreign policy; our prejudices; our imperialism that causes that hatred of us. They’re people too, you know. We have to understand them. If we would understand them we could negotiate and work together to live in peace, not in war as enemies.”
“Tell your plan to the President.” And she started peddling again.
“I will. I’m going to tell President Desmond.”
Now Vahdy displayed an interest in what was being said. He moved a couple steps forward from the wall. “Hey, friend. What’s this President Desmond business? You’re going to be Vice President? Wow! Tell me, what’s up?”
Traci looked up at him from her bicycle seat. “Vahdy, if you don’t treat Angus as a joke, you’re even dumber than he is. Angus has found the way to survive!” And she stopped peddling again. “Surrender! Right, Angus?”
“That’s the word you use. I use the word ‘understand’ and I use the word ‘culture’ and I use the word ‘negotiate’ and I use the word ‘open-mindedness.’ And above all I use the word ‘peace.’”
“And I use the word ‘goodbye.’ Find someone else to teach you how to dance. You and your dancing partner can waltz your way outside to those who will chop your heads off when you smile at them while you talk about peace. Do you really think they’ll embrace you? They hate you because you’re an American. That’s why they want to kill everyone I love and that’s why they want to kill me. Angus, you’re so stupid. I have to go now to wash my hand that touched your hand when we danced. I made the mistake of thinking you were nothing worse than a jerk.” And Traci left the bicycle behind and walked out the gymnasium door with her arms swinging by her sides and her hands outstretched, looking as though she was swimming.
Vahdy’s eyes opened wide and he shrugged. “Hey, partner—she’s mad! Now what’s this business with Desmond and you? When are you guys going to take over? What do we have here? Mutiny on the Bounty?”
“Not exactly. I wouldn’t call it ‘mutiny.’ I would call it ‘legitimacy.’”
“You’re good with words, partner. So what do I do?”
“When we’re ready we’ll need all the support we can get. Can I count on your support, Vahdy?”
He did not give an answer. “When are you guys going to do it?”
“Oh, there’s time. I’m in no hurry. Desmond is in no hurry. You see, nothing is happening here. No one is doing anything. Jared is sitting around in his little world thinking he’s president. I got him pegged, Vahdy. And Desmond is the legitimate president. He’s on the list of succession.”
“Then how did Jared get to be president?”
“He isn’t. He conspired with others to make it seem as though Desmond wasn’t born in the U.S. which is a requirement of being president. Well, he was born in the U.S. And you know something? Even if he wasn’t, his office is at least on the list of succession. What’s Jared? He’s nothing.”
Less than one half-hour later the man Angus Glass called ‘nothing’ was receiving an unanticipated guest. Helen ushered the guest in.
“My name is Tchavadar Dey. My friends call me Vahdy. Thank you for seeing me, Mister President.” Vahdy was no longer a figure that appeared to be full of adolescent-style fun. He was grim, bold, and noticeably nervous.
“My pleasure. My pleasure. To me, you’re Sinatra! How could I say ‘no’ to Sinatra. Sit down.” Eli Jared stood from his desk-chair and extended his hand.
“Thank you, Mister President.” They shook hands and he sat down opposite Eli Jared who sat back down behind his desk.
“And I like your shirt.”
“Oh, pardon me for that. I came straight from the gymnasium.”
“You don’t need to apologize. I like Mickey Mouse. That’s a good picture of him. When I was a kid my folks subscribed to the ‘Mickey Mouse Magazine’ for me. Then the magazine had its title changed to ‘Walt Disney’s Comics and Stories. ‘I loved it. I loved it. And then when I grew up there was a fellow I knew very well named Lyn Nofziger. Ever hear of him?”
“Lyn Nofziger was a great man in U.S. political life long ago who took policy more seriously than he took himself. A great quality. Not too many people in D.C. had it. Lyn Nofziger always wore Mickey Mouse ties. Every day. He must have had hundreds of them. People bought him all kinds of Mickey Mouse things: ties, coffee cups, watches—Ingersoll watches, badges, all kinds of things.”
“No, sir. I didn’t know about him.”
“Well, it was before your time. But what brings you here, Mr. Dey?”
“Mister President, I don’t know whether I’m doing the right thing or the wrong thing, but this is a time when I can’t be quiet when something is going on that could ruin everything. This is too important a time to be quiet.”
“What do you mean?”
“There is some member of Sebotus—I don’t mean the staff but I mean the top Sebotus that—you know, sir—”
“Yes, I know what you mean—a member.”
“Yes. He was telling someone else and I was there at the time, and he was saying that we should negotiate with the Islamist revolutionaries—and then he said you aren’t really the Acting President; that Secretary Desmond is really the one who should be the Acting President and that he—the one who did the talking—is going to be Vice President under Desmond. It sounded like a plan. He says that you are not doing anything to save the United States.”
“I see.”
“I’m telling you because I think it can be disruptive for these times. I still think we can win, sir. I don’t think it’s too late, and I am not prepared to give up or to just let things go.”
Eli Jared nodded. “You’re a brave man, my friend. And you’re right. Thank you for being here.”
“I’m telling you all this because he seemed to indicate that he and Desmond have a plan to take over. A kind of a mutiny.”
Eli Jared nodded slowly. “I’ll take care of it. I’m glad to know; truly glad and I thank you, Mr. Dey. But Desmond is in no shape to do anything. He isn’t well. He’s a fine man but he isn’t well. Dr. Rubins sees him a number of times every day. He doesn’t think we have the facilities for him. Secretary Desmond can be alright at—I don’t know—alright at two o’clock and not good at all at six o’clock. Dr. Rubins wants him moved but, of course, he knows that’s impossible.”
“I don’t know if this guy is telling me the truth. I believe you should know what I know. I think he can, at least, destroy morale.”
“Your appraisal is right. Do you want to tell me his name?”
“No, sir, I don’t. I will if you find it necessary to be told but I hope you don’t find it necessary to ask me.”
“I’m quite sure I know who you’re talking about. If it makes you feel any better not to answer, don’t say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ but I saw who you were with in the gymnasium. If you came straight from the gymnasium to see me, I think I can put that together.”
“I was with a lot of people there, sir.”
“It wasn’t Traci Howe, was it?”
“Oh, no! She isn’t anything like that. In fact, she told him off. I thought she’d kill him.”
“Good for her. I have no doubt who it is and you don’t need to verify it. Mr. Dey, I don’t know if it was your attitude when I saw you clapping your hands and making a melody or maybe it was your Mickey Mouse shirt, but out of instinct I knew you were a good man. I’m glad you’re here. Carnegie Hall. Isn’t that what I said to you?”
For the first time during his visit, Tchavadar Dey gave a smile. “Yes, you did. You said ‘you’ll be singing at Carnegie Hall.’”
“I’ll be in the first row on your opening night, Mr. Dey. And I swear to you, I’ll join everyone in the place in standing for you. You’re right. It’s not too late. We’re going to win this thing.”