Chapter Three

MR. CHEEZZA, PLEASE

My poor hair. I felt sorry it belonged to me. If my hair was on Scarlett’s head, a bird would probably drop a pretty flower on it instead of a load of you-know-what. Scarlett is one of those kids who has good luck all the time.

I needed some luck, so I kept my fingers crossed, which made washing my hair in the bathroom sink even harder. By the time I got the ploop out, math had started.

I wanted to sit by the window just in case a ladybug flew in, but Mrs. Brock wouldn’t let me.

“Lucy, we’re working on probability,” my teacher said. “Have a seat and do the assignment!”

I looked at the paper in front of me.

PROBABILITY GAME

Imagine you are playing a game by spinning this wheel.

If you land on a prize, you win it.

Use fractions to calculate the following:

1. What is the probability that you will win a free boat?

2. What is the probability that you will win a free bicycle?

3. What is the probability that you will win nothing?

The probability of me, Lucy McGee, winning a free boat or a free bike was zero. I had bad, bad luck. If I played this game, I would land on No Prize. No Prize should be my middle name. Lucy No Prize McGee.

I wrote in my answers. The game wheel looked like a pizza, which made me think of Cheezza Pizza, which is where we went to dinner on Saturday night. Yum, I love pizza. My stomach started to growl. Wait a minute! I brought my uke to Cheezza Pizza! When it’s somebody’s birthday at Cheezza Pizza, everybody sings, and I wanted to whip out my uke and sing, but nobody had a birthday. I wanted to pretend it was Leo’s birthday so we could sing, but my parents said that would be lying. Leo pretends he is an animal every day, and they never tell him he’s lying. Little kids have it easy. But that wasn’t the point. The point was, I must have left my uke at Cheezza Pizza! What if Mr. Cheezza was waiting to see if someone would call about the uke? What if he was about to throw it away or give it away? I had to call and find out!

I raised my hand.

Mrs. Brock gave me a look. “Does your question have to do with the assignment?”

I put my hand down.

Jeremy Bing raised his hand, and Mrs. Brock went over to his desk. She always helps Jeremy Bing.

Hmm…I had to figure out a way to call Cheezza Pizza. Then I saw it. There on Mrs. Brock’s desk…her cell phone! Mrs. Brock uses her phone sometimes for quick facts. She talks into it, like, “How many miles is it from the Earth to the moon?” And then it answers or goes to a site with a diagram that she shows us.

Would it be terrible if I pushed one little button and sent a message to Cheezza Pizza? This was an emergency, after all. My brain said: Don’t do it! My finger said: Do it!

Mrs. Brock’s back was to me.

I took my paper up to her desk and set it on the done pile. Her phone was staring at me. Don’t do it, my brain said again. My finger pushed the button. The phone lit up. I leaned over and whispered, “Send a message to Cheezza Pizza.”

“Calling Cheezza Pizza,” the voice said, and the phone started beeping.

Everybody looked up.

“Cheezza Pizza here,” said a man’s voice on the phone. “What would you like to order?”

Some kids started laughing, and Mrs. Brock walked over. “Lucy! What are you doing with my phone?”

“It sounds like she’s trying to order pizza,” Jeremy said.

I didn’t want to lie, but I didn’t want to admit the truth either. See, the uke wasn’t really mine. We get to check out ukes like library books here at Slido Creek Elementary School. If the school found out that I lost their ukulele, I’d have to pay for it. And I probably wouldn’t get to be in the Songwriting Club anymore!

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Brock,” I said.

She picked up my math paper. “Lucy, you didn’t even follow directions. What happened to your brain today?”

“It got slimed by a bird,” Scarlett said, and everybody started to laugh.

Ha ha. Not.