Nine

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Jaden showed up for lunch on Tuesday, and the plan was for me to accompany him to the polo club that afternoon so I could have my first lesson. There was just one slight obstacle that I hadn’t foreseen.

“Hold on a second here.” Dec frowned when Jaden and I started making plans. “Téa, you’re grounded, remember?”

I looked at him in alarm. “Yes, but I’m supposed to be training Schweppes. I can’t do that if I don’t know how to play the game.”

“You’ll just have to do what you can from here because you’re not leaving the property.” He was impassive, and I felt my chin set stubbornly. This was ridiculous.

“Dec, be reasonable,” I began heatedly. I felt someone nudge me under the table; when I looked round Jaden gave a tiny shake of his head. I locked eyes with him for a second, debating whether to argue, but as his gaze held mine my breath caught and my stomach jumped. I looked away quickly, completely distracted.

After we cleared the dishes Jaden gestured for me to get out of the kitchen. I grabbed Seth and we made our way down to the barn. Jaden sauntered in ten minutes later, looking smug.

“Okay, we’re cleared for take-off. You can go to the club, as long as you’re with me and we keep the time to a reasonable minimum.”

“And you have to ensure that I don’t have any fun, I suppose?” I asked him, grinning.

The ride to the club went quickly as we caught up on news. The trail opened onto the back of the polo grounds, which were fantastic: a huge expanse of perfectly mowed emerald grass, stabling for eighty horses, and turnout paddocks. I’d spent most of my previous visit in one large barn. Now I saw that most of the stabling consisted of smaller, three-season barns, basically groups of roofed stalls without outer walls, because polo ponies were either turned out or playing in warmer climates during the winter. José set me up with a blue roan mare called Maya. I was riding one of the club’s horses so I wouldn’t have to worry about scaring Schweppes while I learned.

Jaden started off showing me the basics: how to hold the mallet and the double sets of reins, and the more common swings. I tried hard to focus only on what he was teaching me and not pay attention to the other details trying to impinge themselves on my consciousness, like how perfect his face looked behind the dark sunglasses, how powerfully graceful his movements were, or how sexy I found it when his arm muscles jumped as he moved.

When he was done demonstrating, Jaden threw down a white ball. It was about three and a half inches in diameter — not very big when you considered it was usually hit at a gallop. In other words, at about thirty-five miles an hour.

“Try hitting it using a half-swing,” he instructed.

I walked Maya toward the ball, trying to time my swing so I’d hit the ball when it was level with my stirrup. It was a lot harder than it looked. I practiced the different swings; the one I had the most trouble with was the full swing, where your arm arcs around in almost a full circle before striking the ball. It’s an important shot in polo, and the one that delivers the most power, but I just couldn’t seem to get it right.

“Do you want to take a break and rest your arm?” Jaden asked after we’d been working at it for a while.

“No, I want to learn this shot,” I said. I was frustrated at my lack of success, and as usual, my frustration was making me stubborn. I tried again. And again, I barely clipped the ball.

Jaden rode over and held out his hand. “Give me your mallet, Téa,” he said firmly.

I handed it over with a questioning look.

“I can see your arm shaking,” he explained. “You’re going to hurt yourself if you keep pushing now.”

We walked our horses side by side around the field, while I massaged my forearm and flexed my fingers. I had to admit, they were sore. It was a perfect spring day, sunny and a little breezy, and I began to relax and enjoy my surroundings. Especially one aspect of my surroundings.

“How is Schweppes coming along in the barn?” Jaden asked.

He rode closer to me as I answered, until our lower legs were pressed together. I tried to tune out the fact that his leg was rubbing against mine while I answered, but the feeling was starting to distract me. He seemed completely unaware of our physical contact — how could he not notice, I wondered. It felt so good to me, dangerously good... it was probably fortunate that he didn’t enjoy it the same way I did. Probably.

“What else is new?” he was saying now.

“Dec’s mad at me,” I sighed.

Jaden’s carefree laughter surprised me. “What did you do this time?”

I looked up in annoyance, about to protest his insulting assumption, but when I found his face my breath caught in my throat and I couldn’t speak. His smile was so playful, his light-flecked eyes so warm and teasing. With the sun shining on his honey-brown hair, his whole being seemed to glow with warmth. After a long beat, I felt a wide answering smile spread across my face, all indignation forgotten.

When I was rested we tried again. After about an hour I was making contact with the ball quite frequently, even sometimes at the trot and canter. Jaden was gentle but persistent as a coach, he was free with his praise but made me correct my mistakes, too.

“You really are a quick study, aren’t you,” he said as we headed back to the barn. I shrugged. I was a bit disturbed by the joy I’d been feeling from his praise; it was a clear indication I wasn’t squashing my emotions down enough. I made up my mind to try harder.

When we got back to the barn Stephanie was grooming Gracie, her Belgian Warmblood. They were well-matched; Stephanie was tall, her long brown hair only a shade lighter than her mare’s liver chestnut coat.

“Your ribs are still hurting you,” she remarked as I was untacking Schweppes. She didn’t phrase it as a question, and I looked at her inquiringly.

“Sometimes. How did you know?”

She smiled. “It’s my job. You’re welcome to come and see me, you know. I can probably help with the pain. Are you getting headaches, too?”

“Okay, now you’re just freaking me out,” I said. I was still getting headaches, but few people knew about it.

“Here.” She handed me her card. “Make an appointment, and we’ll get you all fixed up for the show season.”

Julia had decreed that a shopping trip in Toronto was called for; we’d already snuck in some shopping locally — and my summer wardrobe was looking significantly better — but she wasn’t satisfied. And since I needed a dress for Stacey’s upcoming party, Dec had agreed to let me go, eventually.

“Why can’t you go into Paris or Burlington?” he had asked suspiciously, naming two closer towns.

“I want to get something nice,” I replied innocently. “And I need Julia’s help for that.” Dec understood my limited interest in fashion; I’d owned the same two dresses for years.

“Here,” he capitulated finally, handing me some money, “go ahead, then.”

Teri came too, and we found the perfect dress. Julia also insisted on trying half the cosmetics counter on me. I didn’t see the point of most of the products but on her advice, I ended up bringing quite a few home. I felt conflicted about it, as if trying to make myself attractive went counter to my promise to Seth. When I confided my worries to Teri and Julia they dismissed them, reiterating that the makeover was all about me, and I used their arguments to quell the whispers of doubt. Not for the first time, I wished I’d inherited the same genes that Seth had from our Swedish mother so that I could be tall and fair and beautiful, too. It seemed to me that I wouldn’t need to go to nearly as much trouble to be attractive if only Nature had been a little more accommodating.

* * *

I saw Stephanie that week, and true to her word, she did wonders for my injuries. Physically, I was feeling better than I had in months. Mentally, I was also recovering my equilibrium, and catching up in school. My emotional state, however, was a mess, thanks to the confusion and guilt I was feeling over Jaden.

It was mid-May, and the pace of work at the barn had picked up significantly. I was teaching more and faced the challenge of scheduling my weekend lessons so they wouldn’t interfere with polo practices. Jaden was spending increasing amounts of time at our place, and despite the uneasy feelings he created in me, I liked having him around. Life was different when he was there. We ate better, for one thing, as Seth happily pointed out. Dec barbecued a lot during the summer, and even the standard of our barbecues was elevated by the addition of things like marinated vegetable brochettes, something that Seth, Dec and I would never have done if left to our own devices. Another improvement was in Dec’s mood. He was happy to be seeing more of Jaden. And the amount of heavy work I did decreased significantly when he was nearby; I would pick up a haybale or a jump standard only to find it lifted out of my hands, usually accompanied by his sigh of frustration.

May also brought a new pony for me to ride. Emma, my beginner student, had been riding with dedication for almost a year, and her parents had succumbed to her pleas. Soon after I’d put the word out, Karen called to say she had found the perfect large pony. Cameo came off the trailer looking like a fat, grey furball, but underneath it all, she had beautiful conformation and a divine personality. She’d been a young and promising show pony when she was sold to a rich family; the daughter had ridden her a few times before losing interest, and Cameo had spent the next two years living in a field. Emma’s parents, the Tremblays, wanted me to train and show Cameo this year so that hopefully, she and Emma would be ready to compete together the following year. So, despite not having my own horse to show, I was kept busy.

* * *

I had learned enough polo by now to ride in my first practice match, or at least, in one chukker or period of it, since I only had one horse. I was pretty excited about it when Jaden and I discussed it the day before; we were in the barn, getting our equipment ready.

“I’ll get you a regulation helmet and kneepads,” he said, “but you might want to wear a body protector, too, in case you fall off.”

“That’s not an issue. I don’t come off,” I told him confidently.

“That’s a bit cocky, don’t you think?” He was frowning.

“It’s not cockiness if it’s true,” I retorted. I crossed my arms, frowning back. Seth muttered something that sounded like ‘here we go again’ and wandered off.

Jaden gave me a stern look. “You’re going to have to change that attitude on the polo field — if you’re not on guard against falls you’ll get injured. And bumping is perfectly allowable, though no one will do that to you at our club.” His expression made it clear they’d better not.

I pursed my lips. “How about we try right now? Let’s mount up, and feel free to try and get me off.”

“Be serious, Téa,” he rolled his eyes at me. “I’ve got almost a foot on you in height and I’m close to twice your weight. I’d flatten you.”

“Not unless you took my horse down first,” I said with assurance.

He narrowed his eyes. “That’s just the point, Téa. Your horse could go down, it happens.”

“Fine,” I muttered. “I’ll wear a body protector. But I won’t need it.”

I shaved off Schweppes’ mane the day before our practice game, all except for a tuft at the base, near his withers. Jaden had been telling me to do it for weeks, but I’d been putting it off, and he finally dug out the clippers and said he’d do it himself if I didn’t.

“But his hair’s so pretty,” I whined. “Can’t I just braid it instead?”

“Sorry but no,” he insisted. “It’s a safety issue, you can’t be getting things caught in his mane during a match.”

Schweppes’ neck looked very bare during our ride to the club. Jaden rode Piba and led Kermit alongside her, and along the way, he reminded me of the basic rules and talked about strategy. I remembered when he’d first started explaining the game, a couple of weeks before.

“A game is usually four chukkers,” he had said.

“Each seven minutes long,” I added.

“Let me guess, you did some research?” he said. “Okay, tell me what you know.”

I told him what I had read about the players and their positions.

“Out of the four positions, you’d normally play number three, right?” I guessed. “Because you’re the playmaker, the strongest player.”

I watched the smile grow on his face as I went on to describe the basic rules. Since then he had taught me a bit more, but today would be the first time I would have to remember any of it under pressure.

At the club, we dismounted and Jaden introduced me to Jennalyn, his long-time groom. Jennalyn was... well, hot. There really wasn’t any other way to describe her. Of average height, but with the kind of luscious, curvy figure that I could dream of but would never have. She was stylish, too, naturally, as though the multi-toned brown hair and stunning yellow-and-grey eyes weren’t enough. Despite that, though, I liked her right away, because she was also incredibly nice. I also knew that Jaden thought highly of her — and he had high expectations.

I was getting to know many of the faces at the club, and Jaden gave me some background on the people we met. As we neared the main barn a man with somewhat long, wavy black hair came out. I remembered Jaden pointing him out; his name was Mateo, he was from Argentina and he was the club’s other hired professional. At the sight of us, he stopped dead and said something to Jaden in Spanish. He smiled at the end, but it wasn’t a pleasant expression. Though Jaden’s answer sounded relaxed, when I glanced at him his jaw was tight and his shoulders stiff.

Mateo’s groom, a busty blonde, rode up and handed him his horse. I looked at Jaden inquiringly; he shook his head, but the scornful look Mateo gave me reinforced my impression that he’d been talking about me.

“Jennalyn?” I turned to her.

“Don’t mind him, Téa,” she said soothingly, “there’s no love lost between him and Jaden.”

“But what did he say?”

She hesitated, glancing over at Jaden, who was getting on Kermit.

“He told Jaden that he should leave his little dolls at home where they belong, not bring them onto the polo field.”

I leveled a glare at Mateo, grabbed the remaining handful of Schweppes’ mane and vaulted into the saddle without touching the stirrup. He turned his horse away with a last supercilious look.

“That’s my girl,” Jaden encouraged as he rode up alongside me. “Show him what you’re made of.”

My girl. My heart swelled irrationally at his words; I was suddenly and passionately in love with the phrase. It’s just an expression, I reminded myself ferociously. It means nothing. But the words echoed endlessly through my head, filling me with a fierce, mournful longing. We rode to the field side by side, but I had no awareness of my surroundings. Until the chukker started, that is.

Trying to play on a team was very different from practicing alone with Jaden. There was so much going on, and everything moved so fast. Schweppes was overwhelmed too, he wasn’t used to being bumped and crowded. However, my teammates were all very supportive, especially Jaden’s friend Dan, whose two kids were about my age. On the opposing team, I recognized Mateo, a tall man called Lucas, and Davis, a player that I knew Jaden didn’t like. Jaden was one of the umpires. My teammates passed me the ball several times, but almost every time Mateo was there, bumping into Schweppes and riding me off the ball. I gritted my teeth; this was getting personal. There was a lot of yelling in Spanish between Jaden and Mateo. I got the impression that Jaden was trying to assign penalties for the bumping, but as he had warned me, it wasn’t against the rules.

A polo field is enormous, about the size of nine American football fields, and the play was moving rapidly from one end to the other. At one point Schweppes and I trailed behind, away from the pack. I spotted Mateo galloping our way — and the ball on the grass between us. Without thinking, I flattened myself onto Schweppes’ neck, urging him into a gallop. Mateo was bearing down on us, bucketing along at full speed, but I refused to deviate.

“Hold steady, baby,” I whispered to Schweppes. He proved his courage. Even though Mateo’s horse was bigger than him and had already bumped him several times, he didn’t waver. With a yell of frustration, Mateo swerved and I hit the ball. The whistle blew immediately, of course; it was a foul. I had suspected as much when I went after the ball. I could hear Mateo ranting in Spanish as Jaden rode up to me.

“Didn’t you hear me shouting at you?” he asked.

“No,” I said, not meeting his eyes.

“It’s just as well,” he sighed. I looked up to find him grinning. “It’s also just as well that you don’t understand Spanish, or you’d be adding a lot to your vocabulary of curses right now.”

The chukker ended and I was about to head back to the stables, but to my surprise, Jaden suggested that I ride Kermit in the next one.

“You’ll learn a lot more by riding an experienced horse and following his lead,” he said. It was true; I often told my students the same thing, so I accepted gratefully if a little nervously. Kermit was Jaden’s number-one horse, and Jaden was a world-class player. I didn’t want to screw up.

“Don’t even try to hit the ball,” Jaden instructed once I was mounted. “Just take note of where Kermit goes and how he positions you. Oh, and watch the goalposts, he’s hit them a few times and he’ll swerve very abruptly to avoid them.”

From the instant the ball was thrown in, everything was a blur. Kermit was very fast, and he certainly knew what he was doing — I was always in the thick of things. Fortunately, I was able to stay balanced and follow his sudden movements because I wasn’t trying to hit the ball. The whistle blew for a foul, and the instant play resumed Kermit took off galloping for our opponent’s goal. As I neared it I saw the ball. It was lying a few feet away from the goalpost, and we were far ahead of anyone else. I swung Kermit around in an arc, my mallet raised. He was going at a nice controlled gallop; this was going to be an easy shot. I leaned out of the saddle, started my swing, and the next thing I knew the ground was rushing up to meet me. By the time I looked up Kermit was galloping down the field, keeping pace with Mateo, who now had the ball.

I got to my feet and dusted myself off, and straightened to see Jaden cantering up to me. I had to admire Piba’s schooling as she dropped from a canter to a walk in one fluid stride, then halted next to me. Jaden reached down; to his credit, he was only wearing a small smile.

“Not a word,” I warned him.

He withdrew his hand.

“Would you rather walk, then?” he asked angelically.

I sighed, handed him my mallet, and held up my left hand. We grasped each other’s wrists. There was no perceptible signal, but our timing was perfect — he yanked as I sprang, and I flew easily onto Piba’s back behind him.

“You don’t weigh anything at all, no wonder you came off so easily,” he commented.

I groaned. “I thought you weren’t going to say anything.”

He pulled Piba to a halt. “You’re still free to walk.”

“Fine,” I muttered. I stayed put.

Piba resumed moving.

“Will you listen to me next time?” His tone was benign.

“Yes,” I replied humbly.

* * *

The next day was Sunday, and I went to help groom at another match, this one in Alliston. At the polo grounds, I saw Caley walking past while I tacked up Piba.

“Hey, Caley!” I waved to her and she wandered over.

“Hey kid, how’s it going?” She seemed a bit subdued, not her usual hyper self at all.

“Great. It’s so good to see you again, I can’t wait to watch you play,” I said enthusiastically, and I meant it. It was inspiring to see good female players.

“Cool. How did you like the party?”

I didn’t get a chance to answer because suddenly, Jaden appeared.

“Is Piba ready?” he snapped. I looked around in surprise — he wasn’t usually this impatient. He didn’t acknowledge Caley, and she kept her eyes down, her face turned away from him... an angry suspicion flared in my head.

“Jaden, tell me you didn’t...” He shot me an icy look and I quailed.

“Caley,” I pleaded, “What’s going on? Did Jaden-”

“That’s between you two,” she interrupted. “See ya around, Téa.” The look she gave me was somewhat cold and it saddened me. I really liked Caley, and I’d hoped to count her as a friend.

I whirled around and glared at Jaden, but he held up a hand, his face implacable.

“Not now. I’ve got a game to play.”

“Fine,” I snapped, turning back to Piba, “But you are so telling me afterward.”

A hand grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. He leaned his face close to mine; his eyes were burning with anger.

“Don’t forget who’s in the wrong here, Téa. You were the one buying the drugs, not me — I don’t have to justify anything to you.”

He released me and stalked off. I was floored by his outburst. I felt tears well up and turned around quickly, struggling to keep them contained. I hadn’t known that he was harboring that level of ill-feeling toward me; the discovery was surprisingly painful.

When he returned five minutes later I handed him the reins without looking at him. I felt his hand, warm and calloused, on my cheek. He didn’t say anything, and neither did I, but the ache in my chest eased.

Jaden was in a better mood on the drive home. His team had won, naturally. I got the impression that he was barely trying on the field. I was looking forward to watching him in the year’s first big tournament at the end of May, where he would perform against players closer to his own caliber.

“Jaden... about Caley,” I began hesitantly. I was nervous about bringing it up but felt I had to. It wasn’t right for me to be damaging their friendship this way. He glanced over at me; I noticed his hands tighten on the steering wheel.

“What about her?” His tone wasn’t encouraging.

“Please don’t stay angry with her. She was trying to do us a favor... and she’s been your friend for a long time. My bad decisions shouldn’t be coming between you.”

“She endangered you, Téa,” he said vehemently. “I’m not sure I can count her as a friend anymore after that.”

“She didn’t endanger me. I’m responsible for my own actions. Caley was great, she was looking out for us all night.”

“She wasn’t there when some strange boy had his hands all over you,” he growled.

I glanced at him, startled, and tried hard to squash the little tendrils of hope that were unfurling inside me. Jaden almost sounded jealous — something that I should not be happy about. Though I was. I took a deep breath and pushed the thought away.

“Jaden Foster, are you telling me that you would write off a friendship over one mistake?” I asked him severely.

It was his turn to look surprised. “Téa, what she did-”

“Was not such a big deal,” I interrupted firmly. “She gave me what I asked for, and was very kind about it, too. Not everyone’s going to be as overprotective as you are.” Thank God for that.

He met my eyes for an instant, the conflict in his plain to see. I was suddenly, inordinately touched that his concern for me was so great that he would create a rift with his old friend. Touched, and guilt-ridden.

“Please,” My voice was gentle this time, and warm from the dangerous emotions pulsing through me. “I feel so bad about coming between you. It was my doing, Jaden. Forgive her.”

He gazed at me, long enough that I began to worry about the road, and the frustration on his face was gradually replaced by a lopsided smile. He reached over and squeezed my hand; my heart faltered, then drummed loudly inside my chest. I had to look away from him.

“All right,” he agreed quietly.

We spent the rest of the drive in comfortable silence. Even though he released my hand after a few seconds, my skin continued to tingle for a long time.

* * *

After a bit of grumbling from Dec — and some threats of dire consequences if my grades didn’t improve — it was agreed that I could play in another practice match the following Saturday. I’d be playing in two chukkers, the first and the last, so Schweppes wouldn’t get too tired. Jennalyn was in the barn getting Jaden’s horses ready, and as she worked she gave me the scoop on people at the club. I liked her version as she provided details Jaden didn’t.

“No one likes Davis because he thinks his money will buy him acceptance,” she confided. “He’s obnoxious, he cheats, and on top of that he can’t play. And Jaden thinks he treats his horses like machines.”

I nodded. I’d heard that complaint from Jaden. “What’s the deal with Jaden and Mateo?”

Jen hesitated. “I’m not sure,” she hedged, but I could tell she knew. “Mateo was a pro at the Toronto club last year. They seemed to get along fine at the beginning of the season, but by the end, they were barely civil toward each other.”

I wondered at the intrigue as I rode onto the field for the final chukker. Whatever the feud was about, Mateo’s dislike for Jaden apparently extended to me. He had never spoken to me. He was riding his own horse, a gorgeous bay Thoroughbred named Belita; I’d heard she was fantastic. I didn’t get a chance to watch her, though, because as usual once play commenced everything happened so fast I could barely follow it.

A yell made me look up. Belita was streaking down the field, her graceful long legs a blur of movement against the emerald grass. Davis cut in front of me and galloped straight toward Belita, trying to steal the ball, I thought. I slowed Schweppes to a canter as I watched Davis’s mallet go up, so we’d be ready to shoot off in a new direction. It was only at the last second that I realized something was amiss — the angle of Davis’s mallet was wrong. I watched with horror as it swung into Belita’s legs with a sickening thud.

I felt a split second of cold shock. Then everything was red. Red blood roared in my ears and a red haze covered my eyes as I shrieked and rocketed down the field. I wasn’t aware of having asked Schweppes to gallop, but he knew what I wanted, and he must have called on his Quarter Horse blood because I felt a sudden burst in his already fiery pace. I dropped my mallet; I wouldn’t need it for this. We had almost caught up to Davis’s chestnut gelding. I kicked out of my stirrups and as I drew level I used the pommel of my saddle as leverage to yank my feet up. Davis’s horse was bigger than Schweppes, I needed the extra height. I crouched for a nanosecond, my feet on the seat, then launched myself at Davis with all of my might.

My mid-air tackle worked perfectly — I knocked him sideways out of his saddle and he was still floppy with surprise as I crashed on top of him with a satisfying whump. I rolled off him, onto my knees in the damp grass, breathing hard. Davis didn’t move, and I had just become aware that I was shaking violently when Jaden galloped up. He leaped out of the saddle before Kermit had even stopped, landed agilely and took two running steps toward me.

“Téa!” His voice was wild; he was panting.

I looked up at him, suddenly apprehensive. The reality of what I’d done was just starting to sink in. Sure enough, as I watched, the frantic expression on his face hardened into one of cold fury.

“What the hell was that?” He bit off each word distinctly. His voice wasn’t loud, but the ferocity of his tone was enough to make me cringe back.

To my relief, Davis chose that moment to groan and roll over, and seconds later his teammates converged on us. There seemed to be a lot of yelling, some of it in Jaden’s voice, but I didn’t pay attention. I was still on my knees, bracing myself on the grass with my hands and trembling with reaction. I kept my head down until the voices and hoofbeats faded away. My shivering was under control now — the adrenaline must have been used up.

“Get up.” The words were forced from between Jaden’s clenched teeth.

I hazarded a nervous glance up at him. He was towering over me, his entire frame quivering with what I could only assume was rage. I noticed with mild surprise that, for the first time I could remember, he didn’t have a hand extended to help me... maybe because both of those hands were tightly clenched into fists, the skin white over the knuckles. I scrambled to my feet, feeling the dull throbbing in my head that was the aftermath of my own rage. I didn’t want to meet his eyes, but I could feel them burning into me.

“Get off the field and wait for me.” The whole sentence was a growl.

I fled without looking at him. To my relief, I spotted Dan leading Schweppes my way.

“Now that was the most incredible piece of riding I’ve seen in a long time.” He laughed as he handed over the reins. “You should consider a career as a stunt rider.”

Schweppes nudged me in the stomach happily.

“Yes, you were wonderful,” I praised him, stroking his golden neck. “Thanks,” I added to Dan. I tried to return his smile, but my nerves with still jangling. He indicated Jaden with his thumb and looked at me sympathetically.

“He’s giving you grief?”

I nodded glumly.

“Well, don’t take it to heart. The rest of us thought that rocked.”

He held his hand up for a high five, and I slapped it before trudging over to the stable area. Despite Dan’s encouraging words, I didn’t feel much better. ‘Don’t take it to heart’ was a phrase that simply couldn’t apply with regards to Jaden; everything he did affected my heart. That was the problem — I couldn’t seem to build adequate defenses against him. For every brick I mortared onto the wall, he somehow took two down.

When I reached the barns I saw Mateo and Belita outside and hurried over to check on her.

“How is she?” I inquired anxiously.

Mateo was icing Belita’s leg just above the knee while his groom, Sharleen, held the lead rope and fed Belita carrots. He rose and gave me an inscrutable look.

“She will be okay. He did not hit the knee, that...” he called Davis a few choice names and I grinned. Suddenly he grinned back; his teeth flashed brightly against his dark skin and his eyes crinkled up at the corners. I felt a shock of surprise that I had never noticed how good-looking Mateo was, but then, I only seemed to notice one man these days. One who certainly didn’t notice me, at least not in that sense.

“Thank you, muñequita,” Mateo said warmly. “You are small as a kitten but brave as a tiger.” He grasped my shoulders and kissed me on both cheeks. I beamed, happy at his sudden approval.

“Mateo,” a familiar voice snarled.

I dropped my gaze quickly.

“The chukker is over. How’s Belita?” Jaden sounded less angry now, the words barely clipped.

“Okay, I think. The vet is on her way.” I felt Mateo’s eyes on me. I was sure my posture betrayed my trepidation. “Don’t be too hard on our little tiger.”

I was oddly touched that he was looking out for me. It made me feel, for the first time, like part of a team. A team whose captain was snarling again.

“That’s my business, Mateo. Téa, let’s go.”

I tightened Schweppes’ girth and mounted, my heart accelerating. We headed for the trail home. I was braced for the onslaught of Jaden’s wrath, but he didn’t say a word, and I fell in behind him, not wanting to feel his furious glower at my back. We had gone about halfway — fifteen minutes or so — when the silent treatment started to wear on me.

“Jaden,” I began tentatively.

“Hush.” It wasn’t quite a snap.

I resigned myself to a quiet ride and passed the time replaying my impulsive act of revenge in my mind. In retrospect, it seemed far more daring than it had felt at the time; I’m sure I wouldn’t have done it if I’d stopped to think it through. My left cheekbone was throbbing — it felt a bit swollen, I seemed to remember it hitting Davis’ helmet — and my right elbow was skinned, but other than that I was remarkably unscathed. I started to feel a bit irritated with Jaden for overreacting.

We were almost home when he wheeled Kermit to face me and rode up so we were knee to knee. His fury had cooled, but his eyes glinted with steel and his jaw was tight. It was hard not to look away.

“If you ever do anything even remotely like that again, you will be banned from the club, and I will never coach you again. Is that clear?”

I blinked in surprise and tried not to show how much those words hurt. I knew he was angry, but I hadn’t known that anything could make him mad enough not to teach me anymore. I nodded mutely, keeping my face carefully composed.

We made our way to the barn in silence. I took my time cleaning Schweppes up, and after checking his legs carefully I rubbed them with liniment. I was starting to feel like I could use a rubdown myself; various aches and pains were beginning to emerge from my tumble. Lucky I’d had Davis as a pillow, I thought to myself with a smile. The smile faded fast, though. The more I thought about Jaden’s reaction, the more irritated I got. Not only was he blowing this whole thing out of proportion — our teammates’ responses were proof of that — but to threaten never to teach me again? That was downright petty. And mean. If I were being truthful with myself, I might have admitted that I was mostly angry that he had the power to hurt me so easily. I decided truthfulness was overrated.

After getting Schweppes comfortable I went and hid in my room, and waited as late as possible to go help with dinner. I sighed with relief when I walked into the kitchen and saw Jaden wasn’t there.

“Hey dude, how was the practice game?” Seth called over his shoulder.

It looked like we were having pasta — good, something simple and quick. I’d eat a few bites then make my escape. I started making a salad.

“It was... interesting. I’ll have to tell you later.” I gave him a significant look; Dec was just walking in. Seth’s face was bright with curiosity, but his brows drew together as he examined my face. I felt my cheekbone. It was definitely tender.

Jaden walked in right after we sat down. He took his usual spot across from me, but I didn’t look at him.

“How was practice?” Dec asked. “Is Téa coming along?”

Jaden didn’t answer. He was staring at his plate, his jaw clenched tight. Dec looked at me questioningly.

“Um, the game was cut short. Mateo’s mare was injured,” I explained.

“Oh, that’s too...” Dec trailed off, looking at me. “What happened to you?”

I could feel Seth’s eyes on me too.

“I, um, had a little spill,” I explained lightly. “It’s nothing.”

Which wasn’t really a lie. I kept my eyes carefully away from Jaden and prayed that he wouldn’t tell the truth. I was sure it would go over about as well with Dec as it had with him.

“Why, what happened?” Dec insisted.

It wasn’t surprising that he would ask. I really hadn’t been as cocky as Jaden thought when I said I didn’t come off. I rode a lot of horses, some of them very difficult, and aside from the tumble off Kermit, my last involuntary dismount had been almost two years ago. So it wasn’t surprising but it was inconvenient, because now I had to lie.

“Someone cut in front of us, and Schweppes had to swerve really fast.” I was trying to come up with a plausible scenario, but it was hard under pressure.

“I thought you were taking care of her?” Dec turned to frown at Jaden, and I made the mistake of following his gaze. Jaden was glaring at me through narrowed eyes.

“Taking care of her,” he spat, “would be a much easier task if she had any sense of self-preservation whatsoever.”

All the slowly building anger I’d been feeling toward him burst forth.

“It wasn’t about self-preservation! Did you even see what Davis did?” I was leaning across the table toward him, almost yelling.

“Hey! Easy, you two,” Dec admonished, glancing back and forth between our angry faces.

“Excuse me,” Jaden stood abruptly and stalked out.

Dec watched him go with a frown, then looked back at me. I wanted to excuse myself too, but I knew I wasn’t getting away that easily.

“Tell me what happened to your face, Téa.” Dec’s voice was quiet but grim.

My eyes flashed up, startled at his tone.

“I fell off.” I could hear the false note in my voice as I was caught by surprise.

“Téa. I haven’t seen Jaden this angry in a long time.” He was speaking slowly, watching me. “You two have obviously had some sort of fight again.”

I could feel the blank look on my face; I didn’t know where he was headed with this. He dropped his voice lower.

“Did... he didn’t hit you, did he?” I couldn’t remember ever seeing Dec look so nervous.

“What? No, of course not!” My shock was genuine. Dec looked relieved. “How could you even think that?”

I was upset on Jaden’s behalf — no matter how angry I was with him right now, I didn’t want people thinking that of him, thinking he’d be capable of hurting me.

“I had to check, kiddo. He, well, he has something of a history.”

My face went rigid with anger.

“You are underestimating him so much it’s insulting — he would never do that! He was madder today than I’ve ever seen him, and he didn’t touch me,” I growled. “I doubt that you would have shown as much restraint.”

Dec’s eyes flashed. I expected anger, but instead, for the first time, I saw hurt on his face. I instantly regretted my words; it was a low blow, and I knew it. Dec had really changed over the last few months, he was obviously working hard at improving our relationship, and I was quite sure that throwing the past in his face was not only unfair but unhelpful.

“Sorry,” I said meekly, ducking my head.

I was going to have to tell the truth, that much was obvious. More equivocation would only increase the tension at this point. I relayed the story quickly, making it sound as tame as possible. A fair bit of yelling later, I bolted to the barn. Seth, bless him, had volunteered to do the dishes so I could escape Dec’s considerable ire.

I went to check on Schweppes and petted him as he nosed through his hay. I suddenly felt such a fierce ache for Blaze that I sagged against the wall. I slid down it and sat in the corner next to Schweppes’ hay. He continued eating, nudging me occasionally. He was an angel in the barn now, there was no sign of his former aggression.

I was surprised when Jaden appeared. I thought he’d gone home. I didn’t look at his face, just watched his feet advance toward me.

“Don’t,” I said in a strangled voice.

The feet stopped. I hugged my knees and stared at the wood shavings. “I can’t take any more today.”

He sat right next to me. I could feel the heat from his body reaching my arm.

“I just came to offer you a shoulder to cry on, if you want.” His voice was quiet.

I frowned at him. “No lecture tucked up your sleeve?”

He half-smiled; his eyes were warm again, and slightly... remorseful? That couldn’t be right.

“No. Just the shoulder.”

He slid his arm around my shoulders. My heart flew into a sprint, and I felt suddenly warm, and slightly dizzy. I hid my face in my knees; it was getting worse. Jaden had always been affectionate, but my response to his touch was getting more and more frenzied. I didn’t know what to do — obviously, I shouldn’t be feeling this way, but I couldn’t exactly avoid him. And even if I could, I didn’t want to. He was way too important a part of my life.

“About today,” he began. “I may have overreacted a bit.”

“Ya think?” I mumbled sarcastically into my knees.

He gave my shoulder a squeeze; my heart stuttered and I inhaled sharply.

“You nearly gave me a heart attack, Téa. I thought I was going to find your mangled body.” His voice was starting to sound clipped again. I tossed a dirty look his way.

“Hey, no lectures,” I reminded him.

He nodded, pressing his lips together. The sight of his mouth did strange things to my stomach. I averted my eyes again.

“Well, you’ll be happy to know I’m grounded. Again.” I didn’t even sound bitter, I was still too preoccupied by my body’s betrayal.

“Why?” He sounded shocked. “And why would I be happy about that?”

I turned my face to his, frowning. “I thought... well, don’t you think I deserve it?”

He didn’t answer the question. “How did Dec find out? I wasn’t going to tell him, Téa.” He looked upset, which confused me. And I wasn’t about to tell him the truth, obviously.

“I... well, it sort of slipped out. I wasn’t doing a good enough job fabricating, and I tripped myself up.”

“Kind of like now,” he said grimly, frowning at me.

I had to look away again. I noticed he kept his arm around me.

“Dude,” Seth exclaimed, spotting me as he cruised past Schweppes’ partly-open door.

I exhaled noisily. “You know, a stall is just not the private retreat it used to be,” I grumbled.

Jaden removed his arm. I felt cold without it.

“So what was all that about?” Seth stepped inside too as he studied both of our faces.

“Don’t, Seth,” I warned him.

He looked stubborn. Jaden turned and questioned me with his eyes.

“It’s nothing,” I assured him. “Come on, Seth.” I held my hand out so he could help me up. “Let’s go watch TV, I’m dead.”

Jaden put his hand on my forearm and pushed it down.

“What are you not telling me?” The steel was back in his voice.

I just shook my head, preparing more denials, but Seth spoke up.

“He has a right to know, Téa.” He turned his warm blue eyes on Jaden; they were serious, for once, and full of questions. “Dec thought... when he saw the bruise, well, he asked Téa whether... you hit her.” He ended in a whisper.

I felt Jaden stiffen next to me. I searched his eyes, expecting to see shock and hurt, but instead I found shame, and more than a hint of anger.

“That’s why you told him,” he said through gritted teeth.

I put my hand on his arm, igniting showers of butterflies in my stomach.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I told him you would never do that.”

Jaden’s face was cold as he shook my hand off.

“That’s where you’re wrong though, Téa. Dec knows me better than you do.” He got up and stalked out, his long stride pulling him quickly out of sight. Seth and I stared at each other, stunned. After a minute he came to sit beside me.

“Why did you tell him?” I asked him, anguished.

“I thought he had a right to know what Dec was thinking about him. But I didn’t think... wow.”

“Is that really the only reason?” There was a slight edge to my voice.

He turned his head to stare at me. “What are you suggesting? That I hurt him on purpose because I found him with his arm around you?”

He looked angry, the expression out of place on his face. I felt immediately contrite — of course Seth would never do anything so hurtful.

“Sorry, Moo,” I breathed. I squeezed his hand; his face flowed from angry to worried in an instant.

“So why did he have his arm around you?” He sounded only slightly accusing.

I shook my head. “It was purely comforting, Seth. He did it the same way you would. Nothing more.”

“Maybe to him. But what about you? Bet you didn’t feel the same as when it’s my arm.” The accusation was more definite now.

I went back to examining the shavings. “I won’t act on it, Seth. I told you.”

* * *

As soon as we got back to the house, I confronted Dec.

“I’d like the truth, Dec,” I said with no preamble when I found him at the kitchen sink. He looked slightly surprised at my directness, but nodded.

“I know a bit about Jaden’s ‘history’,” I started slowly. His look of surprise deepened. “I know he got into some fights and that he was once arrested for assault. But what makes you think he would hit me?” I felt a twinge as I said it — the mere suggestion was painful.

“I don’t know.” He answered me slowly, thinking through his response. “I suppose it’s partly that I haven’t seen him that angry in a long while. And during the time in his life when he did get that angry, it was rare for him to reach that point and not hit something. Or someone.”

“But did he ever hit a girl?” I persisted.

Dec looked uncomfortable. “I don’t think so.”

“I’d be willing to bet anything that he never has. And it’s unfair to him to even raise those kinds of suspicions.” I looked him in the eye. “He knows what you suspected of him, Dec. I’m sorry it slipped out, but it did, and I think... I think you owe him an apology.” It was my turn to feel uncomfortable; I’d never presumed to tell Dec what he should do before. Nor would it have gone over very well in the past, I was sure. He considered me for a minute before nodding slowly.

“You’re right. I’ll tell him the next time he’s here.”