Giles ought to be here at any moment, so I will go into the sitting room to wait for him.
One advantage of having a flat on the ground floor is that one needn’t keep people waiting who come to call and they do not have to come inside.
In fact the only person who has been in here for more than a moment or two is Peter, when he came to hang the pictures that came to London with the furniture from the Vicarage.
It is nice having around me the things I have known all my life although, of course, some of them are rather big, especially the mahogany bedstead which fills the bedroom at the back so that there is hardly room to move.
But I couldn’t leave that bed behind. I had known it all my life. I was born in it for one thing and I can remember when I was small creeping into Mummy’s room innumerable times in the middle of the night and saying,
“There’s a – ghost in my room – Mummy.”
“Nonsense, Samantha! There are no such things.”
She would speak in a whisper so as not to disturb Daddy who was asleep beside her.
“If it isn’t a ghost – it’s a very big – goblin. I can hear it.”
“Now, darling, you know quite well that is only the water pipes,” Mummy would say.
“But I’m – frightened!”
That, of course, meant that I could get into bed beside Mummy and Daddy and feel really safe.
I have never since felt so safe and secure as I did then.
Sometimes I wonder if I would feel like that if I was lying close to David. But I don’t want to think about – that – I won’t think about – it.
I’ll just powder my nose and go to the window and see if there is any sign of Giles.
It doesn’t really need any more powder. I remember David saying once,
“I adore your proud little nose, Samantha.”
I felt myself thrill at his words. Then he added and his voice changed to become mocking and rather sarcastic,
“Of course, it is straight and unbending like your principles which infuriate me!”
So instead of feeling happy and excited, I felt weak and deflated and wanted to cry!
But all that is over. I’m going to be different now – at least, I hope I am!
There’s no sign of Giles yet, but I’ll wait just by the door so that I can hurry out to him the moment his car draws up outside.
I like so much being on my own and having my things around me that I couldn’t bear anyone to disparage them, which I am sure he will do.
I know the green carpet that was in Mummy’s drawing room is rather worn and the flowery chintzes are a little faded, but they are part of me.
I love them, just as I love the marquetry china cabinet, which Peter said was quite valuable, and Mummy’s workbox, which is Queen Anne and the battered tapestry chair Daddy always used.
I love these things because they are mine and they belong to me. I don’t really care if Giles or anyone else thinks they look old and shabby.
But I don’t want them to say so in my hearing.
Oh, there he is! Now at last we can set off for this horrible party.
I wonder how soon I can get away. Giles is bound to want to stay to the bitter end. But there is sure to be someone else there who will give me a lift home.