THE REST of the day passed in whirl of activity, with Savannah and Ethan falling naturally into the role of host and hostess. They were a good team, Savannah thought, smiling across the crowded club-house at Ethan. No, she’d got that wrong—they were an excellent team—but she must stop looking at him as if she had to convince herself he was really there. She was feeling more confident he would agree to a little coaching. Hadn’t he said as much when they were making love in the meadow? Or was it coaching her he’d had in mind? Time to pin him down, she decided as people started to drift off home.
When Ethan came to her he raised both her hands to his lips. Had the tender lover returned to her? She had to believe that was so. Conscious of her mother and father watching them from the other side of the room, she sighed with pleasure as Ethan brushed her cheeks with his lips.
‘It’s been a wonderful day, Savannah,’ he told her gently. ‘Thank you so much…’
‘It’s nothing,’ she murmured. She was still staring up at him, feeling like she could fly.
‘I want to thank you on behalf of everyone,’ he added, still holding her hands in his firm grip. ‘And I promise to give serious thought to your suggestion.’
But? She could hear a ‘but’. ‘Thank you, Ethan.’ Savannah’s smile faded. There was something wrong. She could see no answering warmth in Ethan’s eyes, just a rather detached interest. ‘You’re not going to take an active part, are you?’
‘I’m the patron, and I’ve already donated a large amount of money.’
‘I’m not talking about money, Ethan, the scheme needs you—hands-on you.’ There was something else, Savannah suspected—something Ethan hadn’t told her.
He released her hands. ‘Anything else at all, you only have to ask.’
‘I am asking. If everyone else can find time, why can’t you?’
‘You know why,’ Ethan said grimly.
No, she didn’t—and now he was being drawn away. She’d monopolised him too long, and all the people who had been waiting to say goodbye to him were jostling for his attention. She waited on tenterhooks until he was free again and then pounced. ‘Ethan, look at me.’ But there were more interruptions. How hard was it to do this in public when you were trying to capture the attention of the most important man in the room?
Ethan freed himself this next time. He’d seen her concern and he crossed the room to her side. ‘Tell me,’ he said.
‘Everyone needs your magic,’ she said. ‘Just look around you…’ There was a group of youngsters clustered round the team captain. They might be with one hero, but they were all looking at Ethan, the most formidable man in the room, with awe-struck stares. ‘They need you. Just a few hours of your time, Ethan. They rate you so highly.’
‘You know my position.’
‘No, I don’t!’ Savannah exclaimed. ‘Your scars? They know about your scars—they don’t even notice them. What else is holding you back?’
Ethan’s eyes narrowed. ‘What makes you think there’s anything else?’
‘I know you, Ethan.’
‘Enough,’ he said sharply, leaning close. Putting his arm out, Ethan rested his clenched fist against the wall so that Savannah’s face and his were shielded from the crowd. ‘I’ll do anything I can for these young people.’
‘Then give them your time. Or can’t you bear the thought of being on the same pitch as a bunch of enthusiastic amateurs? Aren’t they good enough for you, Ethan?’
He knew she was goading him, reaching deep, and that she didn’t believe it for one moment. ‘Savannah,’ he warned, his mouth almost brushing her lips now.
‘No, I won’t be quiet,’ she replied, confirming his thoughts. ‘You’re due a wake-up call.’
‘And who better to give it to me than you?’ He didn’t wait for her answer. Freeing the latch on the door behind her, he backed her through it holding on to her while he closed the door behind them, and then frogmarched her across the yard.
And still she peppered him with accusations. ‘You paint wonderful pictures and hide them away—that’s one precious gift wasted. You’re an inspiration, a positive role-model for young people and a force for good—a second—’
Savannah gasped as Ethan thrust her through the entrance of the hay barn. Slamming the door shut, he shot the bolt. ‘This time I talk and you listen,’ he said. Bringing her in front of him, he held her firmly in place. ‘I live my life causing the least inconvenience I can to everyone around me.’
‘You mean you’re stuck in the past and won’t even glance into the future?’
‘I’m sure my business analysts might have something to say about that,’ he said with all the confidence of a hugely successful tycoon.
‘Your business analysts? And I bet they keep you warm at night.’
‘You don’t know me, so just leave this—’
‘I know enough about you to care.’
As her voice echoed in the lofty barn they both went still. Ethan’s eyes were so dark and reflected a truth so terrible Savannah almost wished she hadn’t brought him to this point. ‘What is it, Ethan?’ she said, reaching out to touch his face. ‘Who did this terrible thing to you?’ They both knew she wasn’t talking about his scars.
Ethan moved his head away.
‘And this time tell me,’ Savannah insisted gently. ‘Don’t insult me with some pallid version of the truth because you’ve decided I can’t take the facts. I can take anything for you—share everything with you—good and bad.’
Everything hung on this moment, Savannah realised, and yet all she could do now was wait.
After the longest moment, Ethan shrugged. ‘My stepfather beat me.’
She knew that.
‘When I grew too big for him to beat me, he paid others to do it for him.’
She knew that too. ‘Go on,’ she prompted softly.
‘There is no more to tell.’
No more Ethan wanted to tell, perhaps. ‘I don’t believe you.’ Her voice barely made it above a whisper, but he’d heard her.
Ethan stared over her head as the seconds ticked past, and then he revealed his innermost demon. ‘When I had recovered from the accident I visited my mother to try to heal things between us. Whatever had happened in the past, she was still my mother, and I had to believe she didn’t really understand what had been going on.’
As Ethan stopped speaking Savannah felt the pain of his disappointment so keenly she didn’t even need to hear the rest, but she knew she had to let him say it.
‘She had known,’ he said in a voice pitched low. ‘My mother had known all along. She knew all of it.’
What hurt Savannah the most was that she could still hear the surprise in Ethan’s voice. For a moment she found it impossible to speak or even breathe, and could only communicate the compassion she felt for him with her eyes.
‘She told me I got in the way… She said I was always in the way, and that she wished I had never been born. She said she never wanted to see me again, which I could understand, really.’
‘No!’ As Ethan made a dismissive gesture, Savannah caught hold of his hand and held it firmly. ‘No, Ethan, no; that’s not right. You must never think that. You did nothing wrong—not then, not as a child, not ever.’ She understood now why Ethan kept so much hidden. Having been betrayed by his own mother, how could he ever reveal his feelings to anyone again? He had to know she was here for him on any terms, Savannah determined, and that part of the bargain said she would be strong—even strong enough to let him go, if that was what Ethan really wanted.
But as he shifted position, and she saw his wounded face set in that distant mask, she knew she had to give their chance to be together one more try.
‘What better scheme than ours to bury those demons in your past once and for all? What greater triumph could you have, Ethan?’
Ethan remained silent for the longest moment, and then he murmured with a flicker of the old humour, ‘Our scheme?’
‘Why not our scheme?’
‘Because you seem to be doing pretty well on your own.’
‘But we can do so much more together.’ She waited for his answer, tense in every fibre of her being.
‘Is that right?’ he said dryly, flicking a glance her way.
At least they’d made contact, Savannah thought with relief. ‘I’m sure of it,’ she said fiercely.
‘So you’ve found a way out of the darkness?’
The glint was back in Ethan’s eyes—and that was more than a relief, it was a reminder of their first night together at the palazzo. He had come back to her. Seizing his hands, she brought them to her lips. ‘We’ll get through this,’ she promised him.
‘I already have.’
‘Then you have no excuse.’
‘Not to shine a light?’ As Savannah smiled, he wondered how he could ever have been foolish enough to imagine life without her.
‘I need you, Ethan,’ she told him passionately. ‘We all need you.’
‘Well, I don’t know about everyone,’ he admitted gruffly. ‘But you’ve got me, Ms Ross—and for keeps.’
‘What are you saying, Ethan?’
‘I’m saying that I love you, and that I want to be with you always.’
Savannah swallowed deep as Ethan looked at her. ‘I take it you’ll be staying on, then?’
‘Even a rugby match couldn’t keep me away from you,’ Ethan assured her. ‘Unless England was playing, of course…’