Chapter 76: Talk About Marriage

 

Although the next day was Sunday, the emigrants continued along the Columbia west of the John Day River. Mac led a brief prayer in the morning before they set out. He thought his words sounded stilted, unaccustomed as he was to making up prayers.

Mac found himself riding Valiente beside Doc’s wagon, which led for the day. Mrs. Tuller wasn’t there—she must be walking with other women. Jenny rode Poulette with William. It irritated him when she let Esther ride the pony. He’d bought the mare to make the trek easier for Jenny.

They traveled beneath a high ridge that loomed a thousand feet above the Columbia. Across the wide river more hills rose like camel backs, one after the other as far upstream and downstream as Mac could see. To the west was a huge shimmering mountain, covered with snow and barely visible against pale blue sky.

Mac pointed out the mountain to Doc. “Mount Hood,” he said.

The doctor grunted.

“Pershing says we’re coming up on the Columbia gorge. About where we hit the Deschutes River.”

Doc looked out toward the horizon.

Mac quit trying to make conversation. He was about to ride back along the wagons when Doc spoke. “You been thinking about what I said at Whitmans’ place?”

“What?” But Mac knew what Doc meant.

Doc fixed a steely eye on Mac. “The mission at the Dalles is run by a Methodist preacher.”

“Jenny doesn’t expect me to marry her.”

“What’s so all-fired important you need to go back to Boston? I ain’t heard you talking about a job. You ain’t said much about family. Nothing about a sweetheart.” Doc’s hands twitched on his reins.

“My brother wants me to join his law practice.”

“That what you want?”

Mac shrugged. “It’s a good life.”

“You could have a good life in Oregon. You done well leading this company. The West needs educated men like you.”

Mac stared at the sky. How had he been roped into this conversation? The Tullers wouldn’t let Jenny come to harm. Nor would the Pershings. Why was Doc making this so hard? “She has friends now. Which is more than she had in Missouri. Even her mother didn’t want her there.”

“You think I’ll give you an easy out, McDougall?” The doctor’s voice grew harsher. “Tell you we’ll take care of her? Damn it, she deserves better. She deserves a husband and family.”

“She doesn’t want a husband, and I doubt I’d be good for her,” Mac said.

“You got anyone else you’re planning on marrying?”

“No.”

“Then it’s a matter of will, son, whether you’d be a good husband. Ain’t you man enough to do the right thing?”

“Have you told Mrs. Tuller about Jenny and me?” Mac asked.

“Not yet. I’m thinking on it.”

“Jenny hasn’t said anything to Mrs. Tuller?”

“Not that I know of.”

“I need to go check on the other wagons.” Mac turned Valiente and started off.

“I ain’t letting this go, boy,” he heard Doc call after him.

Doc’s words echoed in Mac’s mind all morning. He watched Jenny when they stopped at noon. She handed him a plate of warmed up stew with a smile. “Not much new to eat,” she said. “Will we find provisions at the Dalles?”

Her face glowed when she smiled. She’d have a handsome figure, too, once she lost the weight from carrying a child. He felt an attraction to her. But marriage? She was so young. Had she turned fifteen yet? He didn’t even know her birthday.

Jenny still flinched when he touched her unexpectedly. It hadn’t even been a year since she was raped. He’d told Doc she didn’t want to marry him—Mac didn’t think she wanted to marry anyone.

And Mac hadn’t planned on marrying either. Not yet. He wanted to finish this adventure to Oregon and return to Boston.

She’d done her share of work through the journey—cooking, cleaning, driving the wagon when needed. She’d saved his life when he had cholera. He’d saved her, and she’d saved him. Didn’t that cancel any debts between them?

Still, he’d taken Jenny away from her home, brought her into the wilderness. Did he owe her an offer of marriage? Doc was right—it was the honorable thing to do.

She trusted him. She’d said so the night before, though he didn’t know what had brought that on. He was sure she still worried about the rafts—she’d been afraid of rivers the whole journey, and the Columbia would be their greatest challenge. But she wasn’t complaining any more.

When Mac finished eating, he stood. “Pack up,” he said. “We need to move out.”

The afternoon took them through more high cliffs, dry grass, and sand. Once the company was underway, Mac rode Valiente beside Jenny on Poulette. William nestled against her chest in a sling.

“Who’s minding our wagon?” she asked.

“Zeke,” Mac said.

“Pretty day, isn’t it?” Jenny lifted her face to the sun.

“Have you seen Mount Hood?” Mac asked. He pointed out the white peak.

“Que c’est belle! And enormous.”

“Oregon City is on the other side. We take the river north or the road south.” He waited for her to argue for the road.

“Mmm,” was all she said.

“Pershing says it’s covered with snow all year,” Mac said. “We’ll be lucky if we don’t get fresh snow before Oregon City.”

“Snow in September.” She shivered.

“Have you enjoyed the journey, Jenny?” Mac asked.

“Enjoyed?” She glared at him. “I’ve been through rivers and sickness and death and childbirth. No, I haven’t enjoyed it. I’m glad I have William. I’m glad for friends like Esther and the Tullers. But leaving home?” Her voice caught. “I wouldn’t have come, if I’d known how hard it would be,” she whispered.

“Despite what you left behind?”

Jenny nodded.

So where did that leave them? Mac wondered. She wasn’t happy so far from home. “Do you want to go East with me in the spring?” he asked.

She laughed, short and hard. “Do this all over again? With William now? No.” She shook her head.

“Do you want to get married? I’d stay here.” The words burst out of his mouth. A sense of relief swept through him as he made the offer. They would do what Jenny wanted. The decision was in her hands.

Her face paled. “Married?”

“I didn’t think you wanted marriage. That’s what I told Doc.”

“Doc? You told Doc about us? Lord have mercy.” Which was as close to a curse as Mac had ever heard Jenny utter.

“He guessed William wasn’t mine. That we weren’t married.”

“Does Mrs. Tuller know?”

“Doc says he hasn’t told her.”

“Heaven help me.” Jenny held William tightly to her breast.

“I meant it, Jenny. If you want to get married, we will. I’ll stay in Oregon.”

Jenny lifted her chin. “I don’t expect you to stay. Just a few days ago you were going to leave me at the mission. William and I will be fine.”

“Does that mean you don’t want to marry?”

She shuddered. “I can’t marry you. Nor any other man.”

Another wave of relief passed through Mac, along with a little wistfulness. She didn’t want him. “We’ll have to decide what we tell people when I leave.”

“Tell them whatever you want, Mac.” She sounded weary. “I don’t want to lie any more.”

“You don’t mind people knowing we’re not married? That William isn’t mine?”

“I didn’t ask for any of this. My friends will still care for me. And for William, too.”

Zeke rode up. “Indians ahead.”

“We’ll talk later,” Mac said, and rode off with Zeke.