Chapter 5

Allison sat in the grandstand of the county fairgrounds and watched Lizzie and seven other youngsters put their ponies through their paces in the show ring. It had been a hectic morning, but they’d made it in plenty of time for the nine o’clock halter class.

She fixed her gaze on her daughter who stood so straight beside the little pinto. With the cream-colored Stetson perched above her single, long braid and the home-sewn, fringed turquoise shirt tucked into her trim jeans, Lizzie was a perfect little cowgirl. It made Allison proud to see her guide Cayenne through his paces, reminding her so much of herself at that age. Her parents could never understand the fascination with the whole horse scene, but Grandma Ellie and Pop had always sat right here, in this same grandstand, more than happy to cheer her on. They’d never missed a show.

Now, she was left to sit alone and watch the child who had brought meaning back into her life when all had seemed lost.

“She’s a natural, just like her mother, but why doesn’t it surprise me?”

Shane eased himself down on the bleacher beside her. She was suddenly aware of him in more ways than she wanted to admit. The sight of his long, denim-covered legs stretched out beside hers, the touch of his arm as it brushed against her shoulder, and the fresh, clean scent of the shaving cream he had used this morning all ganged up on her senses, making her head swim.

She scooted over an inch or two, but it wasn’t nearly enough space to escape the powerful feelings that suddenly set her body humming. With every bit of common sense she possessed, she tried not to look at Shane, but then found she had to, just to try and prove to herself there were no feelings left for this man. She proved nothing, except his smile could still make her heart beat like a trip hammer, and even shadowed by a straw cowboy hat this morning, his eyes were still as blue as the summer sky. Other details kept her mesmerized for a moment, like the fact his once crooked tooth was straight now, and tiny weather lines crinkled the corners of his eyes. Ten years had put a few miles on him, but he was still awfully darn handsome.

The wink he sent her way gave Allison’s heart another jolt, and she flicked her gaze away, just in time to see her daughter go past. She gave a little wave, to let her know she was watching.

Shane waved, too. “Lizzie and Cayenne are quite a pair. She’s trained him well.”

“He was already a kid-safe pony when I bought him. Lizzie used to toddle alongside of him when she was learning to walk. She started riding shortly after.” She wasn’t sure why she needed to tell him all this, except in her heart, she knew he deserved to know the truth.

There was just no easy way to do that.

“She was up at five a.m., so worried we wouldn’t get here in time.” She didn’t mention she’d been up an hour before that, thinking about Matthew Brewster in the hospital, the slashed tire, and the prints by the pasture, but mostly about how she was going to cope with Shane McBride being back in town.

“Did you get your check-in duties done?” She decided to try and keep their conversation on an impersonal level.

He leaned back on the bleacher, propping his elbows on the seat behind them. “Yep, everything went off without a hitch. Entrants all had their papers in order and ponies all in good condition. I have the feeling most of these kids have a good instructor giving them lessons, but I suspect they don’t realize how lucky they are to have such a pretty one.”

Her cheeks flushed with heat, and her toes tingled.

Is he actually flirting with me?

She didn’t know and refused to acknowledge the remark. Fortunately, luck saved her from having to do so. Unfortunately, it came in the form of her meddling sister-in-law.

“Hi, Allison, honey. Thought I’d come on out and watch my niece.” Ronnie trotted up in her backless sandals, sat down beside Allison, and shaded her eyes against the morning sun while she looked out into the arena. “How is Lizzie doing? Is she feeling all right?”

Ronnie didn’t bother to face her but just kept staring out into the ring. In her hot pink capris and flowered halter-top, she was hardly dressed for a horse show, but the fact she was here at all surprised Allison. She was pretty certain her sister-in-law hated horses.

“Lizzie is fine. Why wouldn’t she be?”

“Oh, nothing. I just thought she looked a little peaked when I saw her at the library the other day. Are you sure she’s eating right? She’s so thin.”

Ever since Jason died, his sister seemed certain Allison couldn’t cope with being a single mother. Sometimes the over-interest in her daughter’s welfare struck a nerve.

“Lizzie and her appetite are just fine. I ought to know since I made her a stack of pancakes this morning, and she polished it off no problem.”

Ronnie dropped her hand from her forehead and brought her attention back to the bleachers. Her green eyes reminded Allison of Jason’s, except they were more catlike.

“I’m just trying to help, hon.” Her voice dripped with syrup. “In fact, I wish you would let Jerry and me do more. You know he worships Lizzie like she was his own.”

Try as she might, Allison could not appreciate their concern, but she didn’t have to worry as Ronnie’s attention suddenly shifted with recognition to the person sitting on the other side of Allison.

“My goodness, can that be Shane McBride?” She sat a little straighter and pushed her shoulders back, the action lifting full breasts higher in the flower-printed halter.

“Hey, Ronnie,” he murmured and nodded but gave her no attention.

“Jerry said he’d heard you were in town. You do know I married Jerry Blake. He was two years ahead of me in school. He served very proudly in the navy before we got hitched. What on earth brings you back to Silver Creek?”

The woman could certainly run on. A nerve twitched in his jaw telling Allison he didn’t want to talk to her.

“Just helping out a friend.”

“I remember what a good time we all had together. It’s certainly been a long time, but I guess not much has changed, huh?”

He lifted his head a little now and gave Ronnie the once over, his eyes glittering from beneath the straw hat. “Some things have. Some haven’t.”

“Well, it was nice of you to come by and see Lizzie. Isn’t she just the cutest thing? Jason would be bustin’ his buttons right now. I just wish my brother was still here.” She dabbed at her eyes with a fuschia-lacquored fingertip.

“I guess we all wish that,” Allison said, forcing her jaw not to clench. “But we’re here now, and it’s what matters most. Now watch, they’re getting ready to judge.”

The kids had lined up their ponies, and she focused all her attention on her little cowgirl and the red and white pinto.

By the time the two walked out of the ring, Lizzie carried a second-place ribbon, and Allison hurried over.

“Good job, Lizzie. You both did very fine out there.” She ached to give her a big hug, but her daughter was getting to the age where she hated public displays of affection. There would be time later to show her how proud she was of her.

Ronnie had no such qualms. She pushed her way in and hugged her niece, practically knocking her hat off. “Well, weren’t you just fantastic? You really should have gotten first place, but what do those old judges know. You were super, honey.”

Allison sighed at her sister-in-law’s exuberance.

Lizzie grabbed at her hat and tolerated her aunt’s affection. Her face lit up when she saw Shane. “Hey, Doc, did you see me? How’d we look?”

He reached past Ronnie and settled the hat back over her French braid. “Pretty darn good, Shortstuff, pretty darn good.”

Her daughter’s face lit up, his compliment apparently packing more punch than either Ronnie or her remarks. A sudden twinge of jealousy bit at Allison…as well as remorse.

“Okay, let’s walk Cayenne back to the trailer.” She threw off those feelings and took charge. “You have an hour ‘til your next class, so you both have time to cool off.”

The day had turned exceedingly warm, adding to her need to get away from these two people who could make her even hotter. Ronnie, because she was such a pain in the butt. Shane because…because he was Shane, and he could still make her hot in ways she didn’t even want to think about.

“Come with us,” Lizzie invited the other adults. “Mom brought a big cooler with lemonade and sandwiches.” She held the pony’s reins with one hand and with the other reached out to Shane. With only a second’s hesitation, he took the small hand and walked with her to the trailer.

Ronnie followed behind, but Allison waited and watched the small scene of her baby girl placing her trust in someone other than herself.

How am I going to cope with this?

She sighed and blew a few stray wisps of hair away from her face. The day was still young, but already it drained her to think she had to spend several more hours at the fairgrounds.

While Lizzie handed out PB and J sandwiches and Ronnie poured lemonade, Allison brushed the pony down. Grooming her horses had always helped her deal with frustration and soothe herself. Feeling a horse’s warm skin beneath her hands, combing out a tangled mane, listening to him just breathe—it was somehow a balm to her soul, and even the seasoned pony seemed to know she enjoyed caring for him. He turned to nuzzle the pocket of her jeans for the treat he knew would follow. When she’d finished brushing him, she slipped him one of the small carrots she’d taken from the cooler.

“Aren’t you eating?” Shane stood just behind her, drinking lemonade from a paper cup.

“I’ll wait ‘til later when we get home.” Allison put the grooming tools back in a plastic tote and glanced over to where Lizzie and Ronnie sat on folding lawn chairs, chatting and munching sandwiches and oatmeal cookies. She turned and shoved the box back in the trailer a little harder than necessary.

“Take it easy, Allison. Ronnie is not worth getting worked up over.” He took a step closer, reached around her, and stuck a cup in her hand. “Here, heed your own advice, take a break and cool off.”

She had no choice but to take the lemonade from him, but he didn’t move. He just stood there, right behind her, and she swore she could feel his heart thumping against her back. Her own heart began to match its beat. Then he touched her hair and moved it over her shoulder, off her neck. In a sudden flashback, she remembered how he had liked to kiss her there.

Allison stepped away, fighting the urge to flee from her own feelings.

“Something wrong?”

She could never tell him the truth and just shook her head. “I just wish Ronnie wouldn’t be so pushy where Lizzie is concerned. She acts like she’s her mother instead of me.”

“She and Jerry don’t have any kids?”

Allison stared into the lemonade. “I think she miscarried a couple of times, and then they finally gave up. I feel sorry for her. I know it must’ve been very hard, but sometimes she just annoys me.”

“Yeah, she was always that way.”

There was something odd in his voice. What was it about Ronnie that annoyed him?

Whatever it was, it didn’t keep him from acting as a buffer between Allison and her sister-in-law as he sat in the bleachers with them for the rest of the afternoon, watching Lizzie’s classes. Ronnie asked a million questions and hung on every word Shane said, suddenly interested in every detail about the subject of horse shows and judging. While he explained the difference between halter class and showmanship, her sister-in-law listened raptly, her hand resting lightly on his knee.

The day grew hotter, and Ronnie continued to chatter until Allison was pretty sure she couldn’t stand one more minute of it. She had just turned to say something when Shane grasped her elbow and steered her away. He didn’t stop walking until they reached the old apple tree behind the grandstand, well out of Lizzie and Ronnie’s hearing.

“What are you doing?” Allison pulled away from him.

“Trying to keep you from telling Ronnie to can it.”

“I would have done no such thing!” She tugged at her collar and took off her hat to fan her face. At least not in those words.

“I don’t know. I just thought you needed a break. Can’t say I blame you. Maybe I needed to get away from her babble myself.”

Startled, she met his gaze, and when he winked at her, she couldn’t help but start to laugh. He joined her, and it released the tension that had steadily built since he’d sat side by side with her on the bleachers.

When their laughter faded, she sank to the ground and sat cross-legged in the grass beneath the tree. Shane sat, too, his knee almost touching hers. Suddenly, it was like they were back in high school and taking a break after working in Pop’s orchard. How many times had they sat like this—just talking—before friendship turned to something else?

Was it possible to have a friendship again?

“Ronnie always did like to talk a lot.” He glanced behind him as if to make sure she hadn’t followed. “I guess that hasn’t changed.”

“I’m surprised you remember. It’s been a long time since you’ve been around her.” Allison leaned back on her hands and watched him pluck a blade of grass. “Or did she always rub you the wrong way?”

He toyed with the blade, splitting it to make a whistle and blowing through it a few times before answering, “Actually, she tried to rub me the right way every time I went to Jason’s house.”

When it dawned on her what he meant, she sat up straight. “You mean…she hit on you?”

“Tried.”

“Did Jason know?”

“Nah, I never told him. I just told Ronnie to lay off. Not long after it didn’t matter…Jason and I didn’t hang together anymore.”

Thanks to us.

She glanced down, letting her hair fall forward to hide the warmth on her cheeks. Even after she and Jason married, she’d still regretted causing the rift in his and Shane’s friendship.

“But hey, it was all a long time ago. We need to get over it.” His voice was low, and his hand gentle as he brushed her curtain of hair aside and lifted her chin so she had to look at him. “Since I may be here for a while, we have to get over our past. We have to move on.”

I thought that’s what I did. But for her it was different. She had so much more at stake. She tried to speak but Shane hushed her.

“It’s okay. I can accept you loved Jason, and I’m glad you had him when I had to go.”

But why did you go? She still didn’t know the answer, and until she did, she couldn’t find her way to tell him the truth he deserved to hear.

“I better get back to Lizzie.”

Allison pulled her face away but not before he traced a finger along her cheekbone, and she quivered at his touch as she quickly stood to leave.

Shane let Allison get ahead of him while he dealt with far too many memories, of the first time he’d ever touched her, in Pop’s orchard, when they both grabbed the same bushel of apples and brushed hands. The first time he’d kissed her, in the swing on the front porch of her grandparents’ farmhouse, and the fire that had burned in him then. The physical ache of staying away from her, once he’d known the sweetness of her love. He could never forget any of it, not now, not ever.

He watched Lizzie’s last class from the far end of the arena and waved when she took first place, but he didn’t venture close again. Before he went to pack up his truck to go home, he saw Allison give Lizzie a hug, and he knew he’d lied this afternoon.

The past might be in the past, but he still hated the fact she’d been Jason’s wife.