Chapter 17

Much as she hated to do it, Allison called Mark Williamson right after she finished barn chores. The conservation officer was no stranger. He’d graduated a few years ahead of her and Shane, and then gone on to university. He came back to the community a few years ago and was well known for his by-the-book professionalism—the last person you wanted checking out the wild story of a large cat stalking your farm, but at this point, she had no choice. Unfortunately, a downpour right before dawn had probably washed away whatever evidence the old orchard might have held.

Mark arrived shortly after noon and was now walking in the area where she’d seen the green glowing eyes. She watched him crouch down and study something on the ground before he walked on a little ways amongst the gnarled apple trees. She’d wanted to go with him, but he’d told her firmly to stay put.

Maybe it’s a good idea, but it is my farm and my animals that are getting attacked.

Irritated, she tossed aside a barn rake and headed up to the house. It was strange not to have Gypsy trotting at her side. How soon could the collie come home? She had visited her when she’d picked Lizzie up at the clinic, and received a few weary doggy kisses, but recovery was a long way down the road. Her heart ached that, in trying to protect them, Gypsy had been so severely injured.

She found Lizzie on the porch swing and sat down beside her. “You look tired, honey. Did you get any sleep last night?”

Her baby girl shrugged. “Yeah, some. Shane put me in his old room, and he let me borrow his sweatshirt, the one like Dad’s, with the Mustang on the front. He said they used to play football together. So…were they good friends?”

“Yes, they were.” Until I came between them. “They had a lot of good times together.”

“Do you think Shane is sad Dad is gone?”

Allison remembered the bad feelings that had pushed the two best friends apart, and her sadness in believing she was the cause. Later, after Shane left and she and Jason married, she started to understand better what had driven the division between them. Her husband’s jealousy of Shane had gone far beyond them loving the same girl. With Jack Delaney constantly ruling his life, Jason had envied his best friend’s freedom to make his own decisions and go his own way. She often wondered if he had really loved her at all, or just married her to get back at Shane.

“I’m sure he is.” She didn’t want to make either man seem bad in her daughter’s eyes.

She stood with plans to start putting together some lunch when Ronnie’s silver SUV pulled into the drive.

Oh good, the person I really need to see right now.

She hadn’t spoken to her sister-in-law since the other night and had no desire to do so now, especially with Mark Williamson’s state government truck parked by the barn. If Ronnie learned about what had happened, the whole county would soon know.

“Could you do me a favor?” Allison turned to her daughter. “Could you go in and start some eggs boiling for lunch? I thought I’d make egg salad for us.” And hopefully get rid of Ronnie before Mark finishes his investigation.

“Sure, Mom, but how many should I make? Will Officer Williamson and Aunt Ronnie be staying, too?”

She gave a quick hard shake of her head. “I’m not planning on it, and, Lizzie? Let’s not tell Aunt Ronnie about what happened last night. We wouldn’t want her to worry.”

When Lizzie had gone inside, Allison trekked back down to the barn, just as her sister-in-law got out of her vehicle and Mark made his way back from the orchard. Taking a deep breath, she prepared herself to deal with the both of them.

“Well, if it isn’t Mark Williamson.” Ronnie removed her sunglasses and smiled sweetly. “Oh, but it’s Officer Williamson, isn’t it? What brings you here? Having a problem, Allison?” She’d asked the question with an innocent air, but sarcasm lurked in her green-shadowed eyes.

“Nothing to worry about.” She glanced quickly at him and hoped he could read the slight shake of her head. “The conservation department is identifying some invasive plant, and I thought I might have seen it here. Mark came out to see if that’s it.”

“I’m going over by the pasture. Why don’t you join me in a few minutes, and you can describe the plant you think you saw.”

Thank goodness he got the hint.

When he strode away, Ronnie continued to watch him with a hungry stare. Then, as if shaking off her attraction, she turned her way. “I noticed none of the horses are in the pasture. Is it because of this strange plant Mark’s looking for? Something that might make them sick?”

“No, nothing like that. I’m expecting the farrier this afternoon, and it’s easier to have them all in the barn when he comes.” At least it wasn’t a lie and gave her a good reason to keep them inside today.

“Well, where is Lizzie? I thought she might like to go to a movie with me this afternoon.”

“She’s making lunch for us, but why would you want to take her to a movie?”

Ronnie put on her famous pout. “Why not? Lizzie is a sweetheart, and any woman would enjoy her company. We always have such a good time together, and she enjoys getting away from here every now and then, whether you believe it or not.”

“I just thought after what I told you the other night—”

“Oh that, well, did you think it would change how I feel about her? She’s still my niece, as far as I’m concerned, and I certainly don’t blame her for what you and Shane did. She’s just a child. Now, I’m going up to the house and tell her to get ready. If we leave in ten, we can still make it to the matinee.”

Wobbling on her backless wedge sandals, her sister-in-law took off for the house before Allison could protest. When she would have started after her, Mark waved from the pasture, motioning for her to join him there. Nothing like being torn in two directions.

With a heavy sigh, she went to see what the conservation officer had to say.

****

Shane hung back from entering the hospital room where Matthew Brewster, wearing his ancient plaid robe and tattered slippers, now sat in a recliner chair. The colorful afghan Sandy had crocheted covered the old man’s knees.

Gaunt eyes sank into his still pale face, but when he saw him in the doorway, he visibly perked up and waved. “Don’t just stand there staring at me,” he pretended to grumble. “Get in here.”

He’s feeling better for sure.

“Hey, Doc.” He saluted as he entered the room. “Glad to see they’ve got you moving around, but haven’t you had about enough of this place?” With nowhere else to sit, he grabbed a wheelchair from the corner and sank into it, relieved to both get off his feet and to see Matthew improving. “How soon do you think they’ll spring you?”

His mentor just grunted and winced. “Hell if I know, but not soon enough.” He studied Shane for a moment. “How’re things going at the clinic?”

“They’re fine. I was at Ruben’s farm today. What a trip.” He could do with never having to go back there again.

“Yeah, how’d he act, same old asinine self?”

“Not too excited it was Shane McBride treating his sick cows. He never had much use for me.”

“Well, he needs to get over it and get used to somebody else. I’m not going back to work.”

The words took a moment to sink in. Shane sat upright. “Say what?” While he’d suspected Doc’s retiring could happen, hearing him actually voice it was another matter.

“You heard me. I didn’t stutter.” The old man fussed with the afghan, his gnarled fingers picking at the yarn.

“What I heard was, you’re not going back to work…at all?” A day he’d thought would never come.

“That’s right.”

“Aw, come on, Doc. Aren’t you being a little hasty? I know you’re still not feeling the greatest, but when you’ve had some time—”

“I’ll still feel the same, and it’s time I admitted it. I’m just not what I used to be, and that isn’t going to change. Fact is, I’m damn lucky to be alive.” He coughed a little and grimaced.

Shane leaned toward him, wanting to touch the old man’s shoulder to offer support but knowing he wouldn’t like it. The only physical display of emotion Matthew Brewster had ever expressed had been when he shook Shane’s hand before he boarded the bus on a rainy night ten years ago. “So, what are your plans?”

“Short term, I’m going to rehab for a few weeks. Then my niece has offered me a room at her home while I recuperate. She and her husband and kids, they’re all the family I have, and I better take her up on it.”

“And then?” he pressed.

“I’ve got a date with my fishing pole at a cabin up north. I haven’t been there in a long time.”

Dejected, he leaned back in the wheelchair. “You’ll close the clinic?”

Matthew directed his tired gaze to him. “Guess it depends on you. Like I told you before I had the surgery, the clinic, the business, is yours, if you want it. I’m not changing my mind. So, I guess the more important question is what are you going to do about Allison?”

Shane slumped lower. “I’ve been thinking about that.”

“Yeah, and have you come to any conclusions?”

He peered into the old man’s face and swallowed hard. “I want to ask her to marry me.”

If Matthew was shocked, he didn’t show it, just appeared to roll the admission around in his brain for a minute. “That so? What do you think she’ll say?”

“Lizzie says it’s a good idea.” At the raised gray eyebrow, he added, “She saw the ring I bought, and…I thought she should know my intentions.”

“Well, probably is a good idea, to have your daughter’s permission to marry her mom.”

Damn! He knew?

That truth gave him a moment of irritation, and he chose his next words carefully. “You could have told me. All this time, and I wasn’t aware I had a child with Allison, until I came back now. You know how that makes me feel?”

Lifting a gnarled hand, Doc waved away the question. “Which is all water under the bridge now. Does Lizzie know the truth?”

Pushing away the painful sense of betrayal, he nodded.

“Then what’s the hold-up? Ask that girl to marry you!”

Doc started coughing, and Shane got up to fetch his cup of water while he clutched a pillow to his chest. He waited until the old man settled down again before giving voice to his own concern, the one that had haunted him since the minute he bought the ring. “But what if she says no?”

What will I do then?

He’d been working on his own back in Wyoming; if he didn’t return it wasn’t like he’d be leaving much of a life behind. But if she had no use for him, if she still couldn’t put the past behind them and make a new future, what was the sense in him staying here?

Except he was Lizzie’s father, and he had every right to be in her life.

Doc sighed and leaned back in the recliner. Shane rang for a nurse and helped get him back into bed, then waited until he was nearly asleep. Not wanting to push anymore of his own problems on a sick old man, he finally headed for the door.

“I guess it all swings on what Allison says,” he murmured to himself.

Later, at the clinic, he opened the door to Gypsy’s cage and stroked the collie’s head. She whined and managed to sit up. He checked her bandages and was pleased to see the wounds were already beginning to heal with no signs of infection.

So far, so good.

“Glad to see you’re going to make it, old girl. I think maybe tomorrow you can go home. But no herding horses or tangling with other critters for a while, you hear?” When she rested her muzzle in his hands, he added, “We’re going to find out what did this to you. I promise. But tonight, I’m going to see Allison, and maybe soon we’ll all be one happy family. You like the idea?” The collie flicked her wet tongue over his hand. “I’ll take that as a yes. Now, I’ve just got one more girl to win over.”

After his second shower of the day, he called her, but it went right to voicemail. He hesitated leaving a message, then just said, “Hey, good news on Gypsy. She’s doing well and wants to see you. You can bring her home tomorrow.” He suddenly ached to see Allison. Wanted to get this asking business over with so he knew what direction he’d take by summer’s end. It would take that long to get the clinic closed down, if that’s what must happen. “Call me,” he added before clicking off.

****

Allison grabbed her phone from the table and stepped out of the tack room just as it quit singing its tune. Shane’s name popped up, and she waited until the voicemail icon lit up before answering. She breathed a sigh of relief to hear Gypsy was doing well. Good news was certainly welcome around here. Hovering her fingers over Return Call, she wanted to hear his voice again but was reluctant to let herself need him too much.

She’d needed him last night, and he’d come right away…but would it always be that way? She’d only had herself to depend on for so long, it was hard to trust anything different. Maybe…

The phone went off again. This time it was Ronnie.

After hearing how much they’d enjoyed the movie, her sister-in-law came to the point—asking if it would be all right if she and Jerry took Lizzie out for dinner before bringing her home.

Allison asked to speak to Lizzie, who assured her she was fine and yes, she wanted to go to dinner with them.

“I’ll be home in time to feed the kittens,” she promised.

“Okay, honey, I’ll see you a little later then. Gypsy is coming home tomorrow, so let’s plan to go get her in the morning. I have lessons in the afternoon.”

Even after speaking with her daughter, an odd worry still flitted about at the edge of the ten other things she needed to think about, but she pushed it away to finish up barn chores and then headed up to the house. After helping with the farrier all afternoon, she needed a hot shower.

The sun hovered above the orchard and set off a golden wash of color over the knobby old trees. Any other time she might have stopped to appreciate that brief spate of time when the daylight slipped into early evening, but the memory of green glowing eyes just beyond the round pen sent a chill rippling through her bones.

Is it still out there?

Despite Mark insisting it couldn’t be, she knew what she’d seen, what had attacked her dog. To hell with his denials. The chill quickened her steps to the house.

Half an hour later, she stood in front of the fridge in her nightshirt, wondering what the heck to eat for dinner. The shelves looked a little empty. She grabbed a half container of cottage cheese. A week past expiration.

I really need to shop.

Her phone sang out—Shane again. This time she answered in time.

“Have you guys eaten yet?” he asked.

“It’s just me. Lizzie’s with Ronnie and Jerry, and no, I haven’t.”

“I have dinner combos from Tim Wong’s, if you’re interested. I’m ten minutes away.”

She couldn’t help but smile. “You do know the way to a girl’s heart.”

It took her one minute to change from her nightshirt into shorts and a tank top. Another two to slap on blush, peach lip gloss, and twist her wet hair into a knot on top of her head with jabbed-in pins. By the time Shane stood at the door, she had the table set.

Entering, he juggled the combos and two containers of egg drop soup. “Here, give it to me.” She took the cartons, and while dishing out the shrimp fried rice and egg rolls, it lifted her spirits he remembered how often they’d eaten this when they were kids. In a moment of contentment, she put the soup into her fancy blue willow mugs, and before they sat down, glanced up at him and grinned. “This was always my favorite dinner.”

“And mine. Never have found anybody who makes it like Tim Wong.”

“In all your travels?” She meant it as a joke but sensed it pricked a sore spot when his lips pressed tight together. “Sit,” she ordered to cover the awkward moment and poured him a glass of iced tea.

When she joined him, she found eating dinner with Shane brought a calm to the otherwise hectic day. Though they didn’t talk much, Allison began to think it was almost like the old days again.

Once the food was gone, she broke open her fortune cookie first. “Hmmm, ‘Life will soon take an interesting turn.’ I wonder what that means?” As if her life hadn’t taken enough strange turns lately. “What does yours say?”

Shane drew the tiny slip of paper from his cookie. “‘Seek happiness where the heart lies.’” He watched her across the table. “I already know where my heart lies. No doubt about it.”

To avoid the disturbing touch of his steady blue gaze, she jumped up and began to clear the dishes. When she came to gather his, Shane took her hand and pulled her gently onto his lap. He tucked stray wisps of hair back from her face and then leaned up and kissed her for a long, slow minute.

“Mmmm, peaches,” he murmured.

He placed her hand on his chest, and the rapid but steady thump-thump-thump of his heart vibrated against her palm, sending a zing of powerful awareness through her body and setting her own heart wild.

“It’s true, you know.”

“Wh-what is?” She couldn’t stop her voice from trembling.

“My heart, Allie, it’s here, with you and Lizzie. I know our past is shaky, and maybe we both still have trust issues, but my heart has always been here, and it always will be.”

“I…want to believe you.” She leaned her forehead against his, and he kissed the tip of her nose. “It’s been hard, all these years. I wanted to let you know, so many times, but I didn’t know how, and then I thought…maybe it wouldn’t even matter.”

“It would have mattered. It matters now. I hope you believe me.”

She nodded and patted her hand on his chest before getting up and taking some of the dishes to the sink, putting distance between them. I guess I’m just not ready yet to trust so easily.

“You haven’t asked me what happened today,” she said to change the subject. “I called Mark Williamson, about what’s been going on and about Gypsy getting attacked.”

“Did he come out?”

“Yes, and he looked around for about an hour. He’s pretty sure it’s coyotes. Because of the rain, he couldn’t find any evidence or tracks, but they’ve caused problems at other farms this summer. Attacking sheep and a couple of dogs, killing chickens.”

“That’s a little different than going after horses. Did you tell him about the larger paw print in the pasture?”

“He shrugged it off, said it couldn’t have been what we thought.” She glanced at him, knowing he wouldn’t like Mark’s verdict. “According to the Fish and Game Department, there are no cougars in this part of Michigan, at least not this far south. That’s their official statement.”

Shane shook his head. “Well, I’ve seen how the other dogs were attacked, and I beg to differ with him, because the method was totally different. And it sure as hell wasn’t a coyote track in your pasture. Maybe I need to stop in and have a word with Officer Williamson, man-to-man, and show him the picture on my phone.”

“No, please just let it go.” I need to handle this on my own. I can’t let you take over for me. Because, what if he still did leave? She turned to loading the dishwasher. “I can’t risk—”

“What you can’t risk is another animal, or worse yet, you or Lizzie getting hurt.” He got up from the table and brought the rest of the dishes to the sink. Setting them on the countertop, he tried to turn her to face him, but she resisted. “You can’t pretend it won’t happen again, because it will, it’s just a matter of when.”

The fear of that, and the memory of those green eyes shining in the dark, almost made her give in to him, but years of learning to depend on herself made her pull away. “Shane, I can handle it, so you can drop this ‘man-to-man’ stuff. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of my farm and my daughter. I’ve done it this long. Why should now be any different?” She almost regretted the words the moment they left her mouth, but allowing him to take control would only make her more vulnerable if he left again.

If? More like when.

A stunned silence followed. When he spoke, Shane’s voice held no warmth. “She’s my daughter, too.” He turned on his heel to walk away, pausing before he opened the door. “You can pick Gypsy up in the morning, or I can bring her home when I’m done for the day. It’s up to you. You’ll need to keep her quiet for a week or so yet, ‘til I can remove the stitches.”

Quick regret sagged her shoulders as Allison turned from the sink. “Shane, I didn’t mean—” Please don’t go.

He held up a silencing hand. “Maybe not, but whatever you do mean, you need to figure it out, because now I know Lizzie is my child, I intend to be a father to her. If you didn’t want me to do that, you should never have told me.”

The hollow sound of the closing door echoed the fact nothing she could say at the moment would bring him back.

Any more than I can bring back everybody who left me.

She had managed to go on through all those losses, and it was why she had to stay strong, stand on her own, and trust only herself. Yet, at the thought Shane might never come back, her stomach sank.

What if this time, he really is gone forever?