Pearl and Bill looked out of the carriage window. The snow that had fallen gently but consistently overnight had turned the green fields and rolling countryside a pure white.
‘It’s pretty, isn’t it?’ Bill said as they sat shoulder to shoulder. They had the carriage to themselves. The weather had kept people at home today.
‘Aye, as long as it dinnit stop us gerrin’ to the asylum,’ Pearl said, her eyes squinting against the brightness of the snow, made all the more brilliant by a clear sky and bright sun.
‘It won’t lay long,’ Bill said, looking up at the sunny sky. It really was a perfect winter’s day.
He glanced at Pearl.
‘Looked like Ronald was on one last night?’
‘Aye, he was that,’ Pearl agreed.
‘Looked like he’d got himself a new best mate,’ Bill said.
‘What? That baldy bloke with the big gut?’ Pearl said.
‘That’s the one,’ Bill said. ‘Think they went back to Ronald’s to down some of his black-market whisky.’
‘They didn’t hang around much after last orders,’ Pearl mused.
‘Yer didn’t fancy joining them, then?’ Bill asked, trying to sound as casual as possible and not as though he was desperately trying to work out if Pearl had feelings for that weasel of a man. ‘I heard the baldy man with the big gut asking yer to join them for a “good sup” ’n game of poker.’
‘Couldn’t be bothered,’ Pearl said. ‘Plus, I needed my wits about me fer today.’
What she didn’t tell Bill was that she wouldn’t have gone back to Ronald’s regardless. The fat bloke had given her the willies, but more than anything, she’d promised herself after her last blowout with Ronald that it’d be her last. It had been seven months now and she’d stuck to her word.
They sat in silence for a little while, both in their own worlds, thinking their own thoughts.
When the train started to slow down as it approached Ryhope station, Bill looked at Pearl.
‘You seem nervous,’ he said, ‘well, more nervous than yer have done for a while.’ It was true. After the first visit, Pearl had become much more relaxed about her trips to see Henrietta.
Pearl stopped herself biting back with some defensive comment.
‘Aye, yer right, I do feel a bit jittery.’
‘Because?’
She looked at Bill.
‘I’m gonna ask her outright,’ she said, grabbing her handbag and pulling out her cigarettes. ‘I’ve decided. It’s time.’
Bill’s heart sank. He knew as soon as Pearl had what she wanted from Henrietta, that would be it. Their day trips to Ryhope would come to an end. Of course, he’d known the day would come, but he’d forced himself not to think about it. Had decided to just enjoy each outing they had together and not worry about the future. Now it looked as if the future had come. This might well be the last day out he had with Pearl, pretending to be her husband. He looked down at her left hand with his ex-wife’s gold band on it and felt deflated.
When they reached the steps to the asylum, Pearl caught the sunlight glinting off the plaque at the side of the entrance. She took the last few drags on her cigarette, marched over and stubbed the fag end out on the polished brass. Bill heard her mumble something, but not what. Then again, he didn’t need to. He could take a good guess.
After walking up the stone steps and through the main doors into the warmth, Pearl suddenly stopped dead in her tracks, squeezing Bill’s hand and yanking him back. She pulled him over to the side of the foyer.
‘Pretend yer talking to me,’ she hissed.
Bill automatically looked round. He caught a glimpse of a smartly dressed blonde woman talking to another smartly dressed but younger woman.
‘And dinnit look!’ Pearl said, glaring at him, forcing him to keep his attention on her.
‘Who’s that?’ Bill asked.
‘It’s his bloody daughter, Miriam,’ Pearl said. She had moved slightly to the side so she could see past Bill. She was glad her fake husband was so tall and broad as he was doing a good job of blocking her from view.
‘Who’s she talking to?’ Bill asked. He was staring at Pearl, whose eyes narrowed as she scrutinised the two women who stood chatting by the reception desk.
‘One of the doctors … well, I think she’s a doctor here,’ Pearl mumbled.
‘Do yer think it could be Henrietta’s doctor?’ Bill asked, looking at Pearl’s anxious face, her eyes fixed on the women behind him.
‘Could be … It would make sense,’ Pearl said.
‘So, my great-aunty’s doing well by the looks of it,’ Miriam said. Relegating her mother to the role of a more distant relative still felt odd, despite the fact she had been doing so for years. ‘I’ve certainly noticed a huge difference in her.’ Miriam eyed Dr Eris. She was a handsome woman. Very self-assured. She could see why she’d been able to bag Helen’s doctor. ‘Although, of course, she’s still pretty delusional – still insisting I’m her daughter. Poor thing. I suppose that’s what sometimes happens when you’ve been a spinster your whole life. You fabricate a family.’
‘That could be the case,’ Dr Eris said. ‘But I wouldn’t go as far as to say she’s delusional. More the case that she’s told herself a lie for so long, she now believes it to be the truth.’
‘Isn’t that what delusional is?’ Miriam snapped. She much preferred her mother’s old doctor. He would always agree with whatever she said.
‘I’d like to see if she maintains this level of lucidity through to the New Year,’ Dr Eris continued. ‘If she does, she might even be well enough for an afternoon outside the asylum. Supervised, of course.’
Miriam had to stop herself laughing out loud. That was never going to happen.
‘Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, my dear. You’ve been my great-aunty’s doctor for a relatively short time. Remember, I’ve been visiting her here for many, many years.’
‘And that’s the point.’ Dr Eris wasn’t going to back down. ‘I believe Miss Girling has become institutionalised. That’s why I think the next step will be to introduce her to the outside world. Gradually, of course.’
‘We’ll see,’ Miriam said. She’d have to chat with her father. It looked like he’d have to get her dear mama another doctor.
‘Let’s have a chat when you’re in next,’ Dr Eris said. ‘If you ring beforehand, we can have a proper talk privately in my consultation room.’
‘Damn!’
Pearl suddenly bobbed back so that she was standing squarely in front of Bill. Seeing Miriam walking in their direction, she whispered, ‘Pretend I’m upset,’ before flinging herself at Bill and burying her head in his chest.
Bill put his arms around Pearl and held her close. ‘There, there, it’ll be all right,’ he said, doing as Pearl had asked while he watched Miriam carry on walking past them and out of the front entrance.
He continued to hold Pearl. He was in heaven.
‘She gone?’ Pearl’s muffled voice rose up from his chest.
Bill waited a beat, revelling in the feel of having the woman he was besotted with for one more moment.
‘Yes, she’s gone,’ he said, reluctantly relinquishing his hold.
‘Hi, Henrietta.’
Pearl hurried into the room. She was feeling uneasy after nearly bumping into Miriam. She wanted this done with as soon as possible. No hanging around. With any luck she could leave this forlorn place today and never come back.
‘Ahh, Pearl, how lovely to see you.’ Henrietta was sitting at a little round table she’d had put in her room. ‘My Little Match Girl, forever faithful.’ She gestured for Pearl to sit down on the spare chair opposite her.
Not for much longer, Pearl couldn’t help thinking.
‘Do you want a glass of water?’ Henrietta had a jug on the table, next to a pile of books.
‘Aye, go on,’ Pearl said. ‘My mouth does feel a bit dry.’
Henrietta got up and fetched two clean tumblers from a little cupboard above her sink.
‘Henrietta, I’ve got something I want to ask yer,’ Pearl said as Henrietta carefully poured out two glasses.
‘Oh dearie me, that sounds rather ominous,’ Henrietta said, sitting down. ‘Let me guess …’ She put a finger to her temple, as though thinking. ‘It’s to do with the past? I know how much you like to talk about the past.’
Pearl saw something in Henrietta’s eye that she hadn’t seen before. It was as though she knew. Knew everything.
‘Aye, it is, Henrietta,’ Pearl said. ‘It is about the past.’
She took a deep breath.
‘I want to knar the truth about something. If I ask yer a question, will yer promise to tell me the truth?’
Henrietta let out a tinkle of laughter.
‘The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.’
Pearl forced a smile.
‘Exactly.’
Bill was sitting outside on the bench, looking out over the snow-covered lawn. There were only the faintest indentations from where a bird had landed, otherwise the blanket of white was unspoilt. He had grown to like this place. It was not the dark, frightening madhouse people believed it to be. Seeing it through the seasons, first summer, then autumn, and now winter, he thought nothing could be further from the truth. It was quite beautiful. And very tranquil. And as he sat and waited for Pearl, enjoying the peace, his mind wandered to the future – to a future that he hoped could be.
‘Bill!’
He looked round and saw Pearl coming out of the entrance, scrabbling around in her bag for her cigarettes.
She glanced over at the plaque for one last time. No wonder. No bloody wonder.
Bill hurried over.
‘So? How did it go?’ he asked, hoping she’d tell him she’d not been successful and that they’d have to come back.
‘It went well,’ she said, grabbing his hand automatically. ‘Very well.’
Bill’s heart sank as they crunched up the gravelled pathway, still partially covered in snow.
‘Sounds like we need to celebrate, then, with a drink and a nice bit of nosh?’ he suggested. Might as well. If Pearl had got what she’d wanted, there’d be no more days out as a pretend married couple.
But then again …
Bill’s thoughts moved again to the future he had just been imagining.
And with that thought, his spirits lifted and he glanced at Pearl and smiled.