“WE WERE DESPERATE last night,” Brooke huffed at both Rex and Luna and tugged them away from Dan’s backyard. Guilt and dread wove through her. Ahead of her the wrought-iron gate loomed. The city sidewalks beyond.
She glanced at the far corner of the lawn. The spot in the backyard where she’d snuck the dogs to last night to let them take care of their business. Everything in her begged her to creep back over there.
Walking in the city was not fine, like she’d told Dan. Her feet slowed on the path as if she was slogging through quick-setting cement.
Surely, she could manage one block. One step at a time, Brooke.
One step at a time had been her mantra after she’d been discharged from the hospital and had to face organizing her husband’s funeral and the end of what was supposed to have been a fairy-tale, decades-long marriage, just like her parents’ and in-laws’.
Grief had overwhelmed Brooke’s in-laws and they hadn’t been able to help Brooke with the memorial decisions. Brooke’s own parents had been gone for quite a few years. Brooke had faced her new reality alone. She’d managed, if only one small step forward each day.
Brooke rubbed her neck, forced herself to inhale around her coiled airways. Surely, she could walk one block alone now.
The rumble of a truck pulling into the driveway drifted down the path. Dan was home.
After her accident, coworkers had sent cards and well-wishes to the hospital. Her boss had driven her home, yet it’d been awkward and strained, with the right words too hard to find. Neighbors had visited, but never stepped beyond her porch, as if Brooke’s grief was contagious. She’d stopped inviting people inside, concealing her pain behind a small smile and distant wave.
She wasn’t convinced a forced smile and absent wave would be enough to fool Dan.
“Okay, Rex,” Brooke said. “We’ll sit here until you’re ready.” Or I am.
“Everyone okay?” Dan stepped through the gate.
Brooke squatted beside the boxer and fiddled with his collar, hiding her face from Dan. The shudder in her tone wasn’t as easy to remove. Her words skipped and tangled. “Rex isn’t... He isn’t sure he wants to venture into the city.”
Neither was Brooke. Brooke touched the boxer’s head, willing her inner fighter to step forward.
Dan leaned down to pet an excited Luna. He held his other hand out for Rex to sniff. “Hey, buddy. I bet you’ll get really high-reward treats if you walk today.”
The cheerful coaxing in Dan’s voice captured Brooke’s focus. “You know about high-reward treats?”
“Ben gave me a tutorial on the way to school this morning about the difference between rewards and treats for the dogs.” Laughter trickled through his tone, too little to catch.
“He’s a smart kid.” Brooke inhaled, concentrated on Dan. “He dropped off a list of Sophie’s approved dog treats for me this morning.”
Surprise shifted through his low voice. “I wondered where Ben had run off to between breakfast and packing his backpack. He never likes to get up early and always presses Snooze on his alarm more than once. Today he was dressed before his first alarm went off.”
Rex inched closer to Dan’s side and gently tapped his nose against Dan’s palm. The churning in her stomach relented. “I think he likes you.”
She could like Dan, too. There was something about him. With everything on her plate, though, now wasn’t the time for her to be aware of Dan. Now wasn’t the time to be aware of any man. As if she hadn’t lost those feelings for companionship and a relationship with her former husband.
“Have any of those high-reward treats stashed in your pocket?” he asked.
“I do.” Brooke lifted her chin, more for herself than him. “I wanted to use those on our walk.” Because she was going to walk.
Dan’s eyebrows pulled together as if he hesitated to state the obvious. “But Rex isn’t walking.”
Neither was Brooke. Rex leaned his full body weight against Dan’s leg as if encouraging him to stay there. Where both the dog and Brooke wanted him. “He’ll walk soon.” So would she.
“Let me try to walk him.” He held his hand out for the leash.
Would he take her hand if she set it in his? “Are you sure?”
“Let’s go for a walk.” His reassuring smile made her want to believe she’d conquer her fear once and for all with him beside her.
Brooke hadn’t depended on anyone else in quite a while. Still, something deep inside her wanted to reconsider. Something inside her wanted to depend on him to get her past the driveway. But Dan wasn’t hers. Not to confide in. Not to lean on. Brooke handed him Rex’s leash and pushed herself up. “We only need to go to the end of the block.” That was all she’d promised herself.
“One block it is.” He adjusted Rex’s leash in his grip. “Then I have to get to the grocery store or Ben won’t have anything for his school lunch except high-reward dog biscuits.”
“We can’t let that happen.” She tugged on her sweatshirt, putting her spine into place. “Although Ben also gave me a recipe for homemade dog treats that people can eat, too.”
“Did he?” Dan asked. “That explains the additional items on the shopping list.”
“Put these in your pocket.” Brooke pressed a plastic bag of hot-dog pieces into his palm.
Her fingers brushed against his skin. Only the slightest connection, yet her nerves responded. She wanted to hold his hand.
Dan held open the gate, Rex beside him, and motioned to her. “Let’s see if we can get out of the driveway.”
Brooke rubbed her chest, willed her heart to slow down. Her distress clung like a sticky shadow. The houses around her were eclectic and varied in their building styles, spanning many decades. One common thread tied the neighborhood together: they were all homes. Less than four blocks away, the business and residential sections collided and meshed. But not here. There were no wide storefront windows for her to repeatedly check for the reflection of a reckless driver racing toward her. There was comfort in that, wasn’t there?
In the driveway, Dan mimicked Brooke’s hold on Luna’s leash and shortened Rex’s to anchor him at his side. “When does Rex get a reward?”
“When he does something special.” Brooke’s fear refused to step aside.
“Like getting to the sidewalk,” Dan suggested.
“Today that is definitely enough.”
Dan studied the dog. “Do you think he was abused?”
“Or neglected. Either way, walking or being on a leash wasn’t a happy experience for him.” Sadness and regret leaked into her voice before she could contain it. There’d been a time she’d loved nothing more than wandering the city streets, window-shopping and taking in the eclectic architecture. Now she was breathless and hadn’t left the driveway.
“We should change that.”
“I’m going to try,” Brooke vowed.
She glanced down the street, counted the houses that stood between her and the stop sign. The street was empty, both of pedestrians and traffic. Only the rapid beat of her heart buzzed in her ears.
“He wants to like this.” Dan slipped Rex a treat. The white tip of Rex’s tail wagged erratically against his legs as if the dog wasn’t certain how his own tail worked.
Brooke wasn’t sure how she’d managed to reach the corner without giving herself away. Brooke praised the boxer. “A successful beginning.” For them both.
Dan bent down on one knee in front of the dogs. “Want to try another block?”
“I promised you only a block.” Brooke touched Dan’s arm to steady herself. “We can go back.”
Dan looked at Rex’s face and grinned. “I think he wants to go one more block.”
She wanted to not like Dan. Not appreciate his patience with Rex. With her. How could she refuse without explaining it wasn’t the dog, it was her? Brooke forced a strained smile. “Then we should take him.”
Brooke scanned the street in front of her, skipping from a closed garage to an empty bus stop to a motorcycle wedged between two parked cars. Her gaze never settled. She had to be prepared.
A dump truck shuddered to a stop. Brooke jumped and bumped into Dan. She mumbled an apology yet remained close to his side. Close enough that he could wrap his arm around her waist and tuck her against him, if he chose to. If she wanted him to.
One block turned into two, then three. Every block, Rex transformed. First his tail curled up over his back, then wagged freely. Soon his floppy ears lifted as he began to take in the world around him. He kept close to Dan, never venturing too far ahead on the leash.
Brooke never ventured farther than a finger’s reach of Dan. Sweat trailed down her back, despite the cool morning air. Dan never commented when she lingered at each corner, checking and rechecking for oncoming cars before crossing.
Dan paused and let Rex sniff a garbage can. “He’s like a different dog.”
“You’ve been patient with him. He knows you’re in control and will protect him, not harm him.” Brooke glanced at Dan. She wanted to believe, too, but pulled herself back. “I imagine you’re the same with your patients.”
“I wasn’t calm or patient when Ben was first diagnosed with diabetes.” He smoothed his hand over Rex’s leash as if the reflective threading revealed the past. “I was at work. My nanny, a second-year college student, had called my mother-in-law. Luann called my dad. No one wanted to disturb me for what they’d suspected was most likely the flu. Ben had been feeling off for several days.”
The pain in his voice caught inside her, blocking her own worries. Brooke matched her pace to Dan’s, wanting to stay beside him like he had for her.
“Every day was like an endless marathon. But we learned and slowly got his diabetes under control, then Ben thrived.” Dan looked over at her. “Rex is starting to do the same and it’s only his first walk.”
“Thanks to you,” Brooke said. Brooke wasn’t exactly thriving. But she was walking. On a sidewalk. In the city. She’d always been alone with her fears. But not now, with Dan. For that, she was grateful.
“I doubt that,” Dan said. “More likely it’s you.”
Brooke smiled. “We’ll call it a team effort.”
“I’ve been a single dad since Ben was four,” he said. The firm resolve in his tone pulled her focus back to him. He added, “Since the divorce, it’s always been only Ben and me.”
Brooke understood. He had boundaries. He had a team: him and his son. That was enough for him. He wasn’t looking to expand. Neither was Brooke, no matter how much she liked referring to herself and him as a team. “Did you know there are dogs trained to assist patients with diabetes?”
Dan frowned at her. “Did Ben tell you that?”
Brooke nodded. “Although, I’m already familiar with therapy dogs. I’ve trained several over the years.”
“I probably could have used the assistance when Ben was first diagnosed.” He touched his throat and shook his head as if uncertain where that truth had come from.
But Brooke sensed he wanted her to understand. And she did. His team would only ever be two people.
He continued, his voice cautious, as if he hesitated to reveal so much to a stranger. “Ben was four and my wife called to tell me that she was extending her trip in Monaco for another two weeks. She’d already been gone for three weeks on one of her quick, revitalizing getaways.”
“What did you do?” Brooke asked. Dan’s willingness to talk about himself humbled her. Two houses away, a garage door raised.
“I told her if she didn’t come home, then the marriage was over,” Dan said. “I waited two months. Waited for Valerie to call my bluff. Waited to call hers. She never returned. I didn’t know about Ben’s condition at that point.”
A car peeled out of the garage and slammed on its brakes. Brooke yanked on Luna’s leash and lunged backward. She motioned for both dogs to sit, trying to cover her erratic response. She latched onto Dan’s story, willing her pulse to slow. “When you found out about Ben, did you tell Valerie?”
His gaze trailed over Brooke’s face and narrowed.
Brooke touched her cheek. Certain her reaction had leached the color from her face. What would she say? How would she explain? He’d opened up to her. But some secrets were better left unshared. She wouldn’t burden anyone else with her own struggles.
He pointed a finger at her. “You’re thinking that surely finding out that your only son has juvenile diabetes would be enough to board the first plane home to be with him.”
Brooke exhaled. He’d mistaken her alarm as dismay about Valerie. Brooke never hesitated. “Absolutely.” Then again, Brooke doubted she’d have left her child in the first place. Her inner mediator tapped on her shoulder, reminding her about the importance of remaining impartial. Every story had two sides.
“That’s what you would’ve done.” Dan checked the traffic on the street and motioned for the car to continue backing out.
It granted Brooke a moment to gather herself and, in the process, gather her own indignation. “That’s what any mother would do.”
“Valerie isn’t any mother. My mother always told me that Valerie danced to her own tune—one that she was compelled to share with the world.” He tugged on Rex’s leash, encouraging him to walk. “Valerie told me I was better suited for the medical issues, given my paramedic background. She really does faint at the sight of someone’s blood.”
Brooke stopped at the intersection, drawing his gaze to her. The dogs sat and watched him, too. “Still, she never came home?”
“Four months after that phone call, I filed for divorce.” He shook his head.
But his solemn, cold gaze and reserve in his tone, as if refused to be affected by the past, alerted her. Like her former clients who never answered a question directly during one of her mediation sessions. “There’s more.”
He shifted his gaze over her head. “The divorce took over a year to finalize because of Valerie’s extensive travels.”
“She never came home to see her own son that whole year?” Her bewildered tone bounced between them.
“She sent birthday cards that arrived late and Christmas presents in October. She was even late to our wedding so it’s not surprising.” He allowed Rex’s leash to extend fully, giving the boxer more sidewalk to explore. “Valerie also found someone to travel with her. Someone not tied down with the responsibility of a child and full-time job.”
Tied down wasn’t as distasteful as he made it sound. Brooke was quickly becoming less and less neutral. “Is Valerie still with this other man?”
“As far as I know.” He started walking faster, as if he could walk away from his past.
“Do you know anything about him?” Brooke increased her pace to stay beside him. “Surely if he was decent, he’d tell Valerie to come home and see her son.” Brooke wanted to demand that Valerie return home to see her son.
“I know all about him. I grew up with him.” The indifference in his voice only emphasized the significance. “The other man is my younger brother.”
Brooke’s mouth dropped open. She kicked her inner demons aside and focused on Dan. “Your ex-wife hooked up with your brother?”
“Jason was always the fun one. The charming adventurer who never liked to be in one place for very long. The same as Valerie. He’s a professional gambler now.” His tone was detached, as if he hadn’t known his brother his entire life. As if his brother was no more relevant than last year’s celebrity gossip. “Jason is the one who dared.”
“But you dared more.” Brooke grabbed his arm, swinging him toward her. “You dared to stay with your son and tackle being a single father. You took the biggest risk.”
“And in my opinion, the most rewarding one.” He encouraged the dogs’ quick pace again and offered no more glimpses into his past.
Only the sound of a passing car and the bass of a stereo in a nearby apartment disrupted the silence between Brooke and Dan. Brooke counted the blocks left to reach Dan’s house. Only three.
She’d managed four square blocks without jumping out of her skin. She had Dan to thank for that. His bold trip down memory lane and his hurt, restrained and powerful, had nudged aside her own fears.
Back at the apartment, with Dan’s past behind them, where she suspected he preferred it, Brooke accepted Rex’s leash from him.
He rubbed Luna’s head, then Rex’s. “I’m off to the store.”
“Do you mind if I join you? I need a few things.” Very few. But she didn’t want to go alone. She didn’t want to be alone. Not yet. At Dan’s hesitation, she added, “I promise, no more talk about your past.”
She kept her promise, and exactly one hour later, Dan parked the truck in the driveway and gaped at Brooke. “I cannot believe you’ve never had chicken and waffles.”
The surprise on Dan’s face tugged a small laugh free. The sound was muted and off-key to her own ears, as if her laughter had rusted over the years.
“You’re going to like my chicken and waffles,” Dan vowed.
She’d liked grocery shopping and the sense of normalcy even while nothing about her situation was normal. Picking out the perfect unbruised apples and debating over spinach or lettuce reminded her that some things remained the same no matter where she was. That settled her. Even if being out in the city did not.
She wanted that to be all that steadied her. But Dan calmed her. He hadn’t offered pity after she’d mentioned her husband’s death. The sincerity in his simple apology had wrapped around her like an embrace.
Today, he’d bought every ingredient for the homemade dog treats. His thoughtfulness for Luna and Rex softened her. His love for his son tapped on a heart she refused to open. “I’ll try your chicken and waffles. Though there’s something about mixing breakfast and dinner that doesn’t feel right. Syrup on fried chicken sounds like two food groups that don’t go well together.”
Not like she and Dan went together. Not that she’d considered her and Dan together. Or anything close to that. Dan had his whole life in the city. Brooke was only passing through. And so much was still up in the air for her, while so much was settled for Dan. How would she find a home, a job, her life again?
Not to mention figuring out how to avoid the site of her accident.
Still, she’d discovered two of her favorite places: Beaux Arts Bakery and Mission Sushi were still open in the Golden Heights District. Thanks to Dan. That wasn’t enough to erase the bad memories, was it?
Brooke opened the back-passenger door and slid the cloth grocery bags up her arm. For now, it’d be enough to appreciate this one sweet, simple moment.
“Taking everything in one load?” Dan asked from the other side of the bench back seat.
“Always.” Brooke grinned. Sweet and simple was all she wanted right now. Nothing more. Nothing that required her heart or a courage she’d lost in the accident. “It’s the only way to carry groceries. I’ve been doing this since I was a kid. Saves time.”
Dan stacked grocery bags into his hands, his smile crooked and appealing.
Something inside Brooke shifted—something inside her chest like those pesky butterflies that romance movies liked to reference. How many years had it been since she’d experienced a fluttering? Was it wrong that she indulged, for only a breath? Before she adjusted the groceries in her grip and adjusted her thoughts.
She’d made a deal years ago: if she never opened her heart, she’d never hurt. Even more, she’d never hurt others. The thought of causing Dan pain clipped those butterflies’ wings.
Besides, they’d taken one trip to the grocery store, not been on a first date. Butterflies and racing hearts were for the poets and screenwriters, not widows like her. Brooke walked around the truck and stepped beside Dan. “See, perfectly balanced. You’re the one who’s a little off-kilter.”
Dan didn’t straighten. Only gaped at the front porch. Nothing about him moved, from his stiff shoulders to the grocery bags that had stopped swaying, as if Dan’s tension stalled the air.
Brooke looked up at the striking woman propped against the porch railing. Her blond hair was cropped at the perfect angle to swing elegantly against her defined jawline. Her white pants blended with the white railing, while the sleek trench coat and bold blue sweater came together in an effortless, classic style.
“We brought food, too. But you can never have too much food, can you?” The woman’s open smile shifted into high wattage with her bright laughter. “Can you believe it took more than thirty-six hours to get here from Dubai?”
“Valerie.” Dan’s voice sounded strained and detached, at odds with the woman’s vibrance.
That was Dan’s ex-wife. The dismay inside Brooke flatlined those butterflies. Valerie was poised like a princess, ready to lean over the railing and wave to her admiring throng of fans. Except Valerie wasn’t a princess and Brooke was no adoring fan.
“I’ve been texting and calling.” The sunflower-yellow scarf around Valerie’s neck seemed to infuse her voice with extra warmth and cheer. “This shouldn’t come as a surprise.”
Muscles flexed in Dan’s cheek and tracked along his jaw.
Brooke noticed the subdued man standing in the shadows behind Valerie, decided he was most likely Dan’s brother. Dan’s past had just walked right into the present. And Brooke thought dealing with the ghosts in her past was difficult. Brooke whispered, “How long has Valerie been trying to reach you?”
“Since Tuesday.” Dan’s voice was bewildered, as if he was still processing that his ex-wife and estranged brother stood so close. “I called her back. Left her a message. She never called again.”
Brooke stepped closer to Dan until her shoulder connected with his arm. He’d supported her during their walk, even though she hadn’t confessed her real fears. She’d do the same for him now.
Dan shrugged. “I thought she’d given up and moved on to something else.”
Brooke failed to stop her scowl from drifting into her voice. “Looks like she showed up instead.”
“I should’ve known.” A low curse drifted into the afternoon breeze, as if Dan had accepted the reality but disliked it all the same. “Valerie called and texted more in the past week than she has in the past year.”
“She could’ve put her travel plans in one of those texts,” Brooke suggested.
Dan nodded.
Brooke waited beside Dan. He never moved. Not even a twitch, as if he stood sentry in the driveway and intended to remain there indefinitely.
Valerie’s smile never faltered as her gaze moved to Brooke, then over the neighborhood like she was lost in pleasant memories. “Is Valerie always so gracefully poised and composed?”
Dan shifted and focused on Brooke. One corner of his mouth relaxed and tipped upward. “Always. It’s her gift.”
Dan had a gift, too. A gift for making Brooke believe she was valued thanks to one of his all-encompassing looks. He gazed at Brooke, made her imagine she was the only one who mattered to him in that moment. Brooke blinked. This wasn’t about Dan’s effect on her. His ex-wife and brother stood twenty feet away. “Where are your house keys?”
Dan kept his gaze locked on Brooke as if she anchored him. “In my left hand.”
Brooke took the keys and squeezed his hand holding the grocery bags.
“I’m not inviting them inside.” Dan’s voice came out as both a warning and simple fact.
“Okay.” The dormant mediator inside Brooke leaped to attention, reciting strategy. All parties should feel heard. Active feedback is your strength. “But we have gelato melting and chicken that needs to get in the refrigerator or I’m definitely not sampling your chicken and waffles later.”
Dan closed his eyes. Less than a five count, as if pulling himself together.
Brooke squeezed his hand once more and walked up the stairs onto the porch.