BROOKE WIPED AT her eyes and stared at her fire-ravaged land. The soot and ash had barely settled, the air barely cleared. The loss rocked her no less hard the second time viewing it.
The claims adjuster from her insurance agency handed her a tissue and an apology, as if assuming her tears were for the land and home she’d lost. But her tears weren’t only for the destruction the wildfire had caused to her neighbors on the mountain. The bulk of her tears were for all that Brooke had left behind in the city five days ago.
“Can I give you a ride someplace?” the adjuster asked.
Not unless you’re driving to San Francisco. Brooke shook her head. “That’s my rental car across the street.”
The insurance agent promised to be in touch later in the week and left for his next appointment. Brooke surveyed her land one last time, got into her car and drove down the mountain.
The animal shelter was desperate for volunteers. And Brooke was desperate to keep busy. To do something outside her rental house. Only a month ago, she’d been content to remain inside her mountain cabin and keep to herself.
Now the blank walls pressed in on her. The silence irritated and forced her outside. Forced her off the property and out into the world. The dogs watched the front door as if waiting for Ben to burst inside to play or Dan to greet them with a belly rub. The dogs watched the door as if waiting for their world to come back.
But that wasn’t going to happen. Brooke gripped the steering wheel. This was her world now. Five days ago, she’d left the hospital and Dan behind. She’d rented a car, loaded up her pets and few things, then called her in-laws. Ann and Don had met her at the rental house with keys and open arms.
But the arms Brooke wanted to step into were Dan’s. The keys she wanted were the ones to his heart. Yet to have Dan’s love, she had to open her own heart. She had to love in return. She had to love despite the fear.
At the animal shelter, Brooke urged a Lab mix back into his kennel and shut the door. Four hours walking the shelter dogs should’ve been enough to walk off her melancholy. Four hours should’ve been enough to shake off her loneliness.
Instead, Brooke got into her car, feeling more dismal and alone than ever. She checked her phone messages.
Ava had texted to remind Brooke that she’d promised to help her shoe shop for her bridesmaid’s outfit this weekend.
Cara texted to let Brooke know that Earl was settled into his new rooms and eager for visitors. And apple-cinnamon turnovers.
Teresa forwarded pictures of Sherlock sleeping on the couch with their newest addition, a senior cat named Beau, courtesy of Sophie at The Pampered Pooch. Then invited her to come meet him.
Nichole texted asking about a basketball rematch with the boys. Her place this time.
Sophie texted a picture of chocolate croissants and labeled it: bribery. Then added: to get you to come back where you belong.
Evie forwarded the invite for the Second Winders upcoming gathering the following week, and that there was a two-dollar minimum. And added: Helen says you forgot her advice and wanted to remind you—it’s all about the kiss. Nothing else matters.
Broke swiped at her face, brushing the tears from her cheeks the entire drive back to her rental house. She was alone again. While a group of people wanted to be with her in the city. A group of friends wanted to support her. Wanted to be there for her. And she wanted to be there for them.
Brooke pulled into the driveway and dropped her head on the steering wheel. She’d built a support system, then abandoned it. Her therapist would be disappointed in her choices. Brooke was disappointed in herself, too.
How many times had her clients reminded her to cherish what she had while she had it? The wildfires and the accident were personal examples of how precious time was.
Do things that scare you. Earl’s words circled through her. She was always scared.
Brooke got out of the car and hurried inside. Perhaps that was the catch. She was always scared. Would always be scared. But Dan had called her brave.
And she wanted to be brave now. She wanted to have courage for the people she loved. Brooke picked up her phone and scrolled through her contact list. She pressed the phone number and waited for the call to connect.
Several hours later, the doorbell rang. And Brooke jolted. She picked up her garbage bag of personal items—she really needed to buy luggage—and rushed to the door. Her greeting dwindled, and the garbage bag sagged onto the floor beside her feet.
“Don’t say anything,” Dan said quickly. “Just listen.”
She couldn’t speak if she wanted to, her heart raced so fast. Dan. Dan was here. On her doorstep.
“If you’re choosing to be alone, I’ll walk away and leave you to it.” Dan drew a deep breath and focused on her.
Alone. She didn’t want to be alone.
“But if you’re settling for being alone because you’re scared. Or worried. Or too afraid. Then I want to change your mind.” He held his hands out at his sides. “I’m scared, too. I’m worried that I’ll lose you. That I won’t ever love you like you deserve. That I’ll fail you.”
She’d already failed him. She’d walked away. She reached for him.
He shook his head. “I have to get this out. I have to tell you that I love you. Not the young kind of love that burns hot and fast. Rather, the kind that doesn’t need to be proven to the world or put on display for it to matter. It’s the kind of love that sticks.” Dan pressed his fist over his heart. “That sticks in your heart for a lifetime.”
Brooke covered her mouth with her hand. She knew that kind of love. She felt that kind of love in her heart, too. For Dan. She started to speak...
Ben squeezed in front of Dan. “Is it my turn now?”
Brooke sobbed. She couldn’t stop it this time.
Dan set his hands on Ben’s shoulders yet kept his gaze locked on Brooke. “It’s your turn, Ben.”
“Brooke, you have to come home. Dad doesn’t smile anymore, and his vegetables don’t taste so good.” Ben chewed on his bottom lip. “And I think your pets miss me because I really miss them.”
Ben couldn’t miss her pets more than Brooke had missed this sweet precious boy or his dad.
“But mostly, you gotta come home because I miss you.” Ben lifted his chin and looked at her. “My heart always wished for a mom and then I got you.”
Both of Brooke’s hands weren’t enough to capture her tears.
Ben glanced up at his dad. “Is she okay?”
Brooke brushed at her cheeks, unable to stop crying. “I’m going to be.”
Dan pointed at the garbage bag near her feet. “Were you about to leave for somewhere?”
“Yes.” Brooke used her sweater sleeve to dry her face. “As a matter of fact, I was waiting for my ride to arrive.”
Ben’s eyebrows pulled together. “When is your ride getting here?”
Brooke tipped her head and studied Dan. “Your dad didn’t tell you?”
“Tell us what?” Dan looked at Ben.
Ben shrugged and shook his bangs out of his eyes.
“I called your dad to ask if he’d come and pick me up.” Brooke stepped out onto the front porch.
“Why?” Dan watched her. A smile lifted one corner of his mouth. And love and hope curled through his gaze.
“I wanted to come home. I wanted to be with my family and friends.” Brooke opened her arms. “But even more, I wanted to be with the people I love.”
“Yes,” Ben shouted and wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled back enough to look up at her. “Can I get the animals ready?”
Brooke stepped to the side to let Ben rush ahead. His greeting for the dogs bounced off the walls.
Dan held back. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure I’m scared. I’m sure I’ll always worry.” Brooke closed the distance. “But I’m even more sure in our love. Certain that I can face anything with you beside me.”
Dan framed her face with his hands. “And if something happens?”
Brooke set her hands over his and locked her gaze on his. “Then I’ll know I lived and loved without regrets. And I’ll look back on a life well lived.”
“I love you.” Dan leaned toward her, covered her mouth with his.
And Brooke put everything in her heart into that one kiss. She didn’t know what the future would bring. But for right now, she loved.
And in loving, she lived.