October brought unseasonably warm weather to Chesapeake, particularly on the second Saturday of the month. Sunrays filtered through the Tilman home, in a fight with the air-conditioner for control over Marjorie’s comfort. She had just finished vacuuming the carpet, the last of her chores, and was resting in her favorite recliner in the den, reading a thriller. Ben and Sandra had left for the Boston area the day before to attend one of Benny’s football games. Rarely alone, Marjorie was enjoying a glorious silence—until the doorbell chimed.
Wouldn’t you know someone would have to show up now, she thought, just when I’m about to find out who did it.
Marjorie put the book aside and walked stiffly to the front door, rubbing her lower back. She looked through the peephole at a slightly pudgy, middle-aged woman she did not recognize. The woman straightened her blouse, flicked lint off her skirt, and ran fingers through her short, dark brown hair while waiting for an answer.
“May I help you?” asked Marjorie through the closed door.
“Yes, uh, I’m Cora Samson,” said the woman, fanning herself. “I’m the wife of Richard Samson Jr., and I’m Dickey Samson’s mother.”
Marjorie stepped back and frowned, never expecting a Samson on her family’s doorstep. Returning to the peephole, she noticed that Mrs. Samson appeared somber. “My son is not home,” she said.
“If you’re Marjorie Tilman, I’ve actually come to talk to you, woman to woman. I have a message for you, and I won’t take much of your time.”
Maybe she knows something about Alicia, thought Marjorie. If she doesn’t, why on earth is she here?
Marjorie opened the door and studied Mrs. Samson, trying to read her intent. The woman appeared as anxious as she, which caused her to relax a little. “Please come in,” she said.
“Thank you,” said Mrs. Samson, hesitating before taking a couple of measured steps into the entryway. “Your family has a lovely home.”
Marjorie led Mrs. Samson into the living room. “May I offer you something to drink?” she asked.
“Oh, no, I won’t be staying long. But thank you for the offer.”
Mrs. Samson sat opposite Marjorie, fidgeting a little, but she finally made eye contact. “Mrs. Tilman, my coming here is awkward for me,” she said, “and you can probably tell I’m pretty nervous.”
“It’s awkward for both of us, Mrs. Samson. If you’ve come here, there must be some urgency for your visit.”
“I need to fulfill a promise I made. So let me start by saying that I know there has been a lot of bad blood between your family and mine over the years, but I have never been a part of it or approved of what I learned. My husband knew some of the history from his father but never talked about it, and Dickey never knew anything. To get to the point, I came here to tell you that my father-in-law, Richard Sr., passed away a couple of weeks ago.”
Marjorie, who had sat expressionless as Mrs. Samson spoke, straightened, as though a great weight had fallen off her back.
“Richard Sr. was never one of my favorite people,” continued Mrs. Samson. “Just plain mean-spirited might be a worthy description, and fortunately my husband and Dickey escaped his personality and attitude about certain things. And Richard Sr. himself, well, he changed toward the end. The day you and your son paid us a visit had a major effect on him. I think he saw you, the person, for the very first time, if you understand my meaning, and somehow the devil in him left that day. He wanted to apologize in person, but he could never muster the courage. Before he died, he asked me to do it for him. He said to ask for your forgiveness.”
Marjorie sighed deeply. “Mrs. Samson, thank you for sharing his message with me. I can never forget what happened, but I am a Christian woman, and I forgave Richard Sr. the night we saw you five years ago. That was a bad night for both our families, and I’m sorry for what happened. I would like to personally thank you and your family for refusing to cooperate with the authorities. Otherwise, everything my son worked for could have been destroyed. He is not the man he appeared to be.”
“I know,” said Mrs. Samson, “which brings me to the second message from my father-in-law, and it’s a little difficult to explain. Basically, he never took much pride in my husband or son. He thought my husband wasted away too many opportunities and that Dickey was traveling right in his footsteps. I think he found in them too much of himself. But the same is not true of Dr. Tilman. After he learned how your son made his living that night, he started researching things. Quite frankly, Dr. Tilman’s accomplishments shocked him, especially under the circumstances, which is one of the reasons he told that prosecutor to go to hell. So please, let your son know that Richard Sr. was proud of him, and that he was sorry he never really got to know him. He said it was his loss and your son’s gain.”
Marjorie clamped her eyes shut, feeling vindicated and fighting back tears. Embarrassed over her show of emotion, she finally focused on Mrs. Samson, who smiled.
“I will give both of your messages to my family,” said Marjorie. “Thank you very much for sharing this with me. After all this time, it’s nice to know.”
“There is one other thing, if you don’t mind my asking. Do I have a grandchild? And how is your granddaughter?”
“I don’t know one way or the other,” said Marjorie. “We haven’t seen Alicia since before that night. I sense she’s fine, and that she’s trying to make her father and mother proud of her. I actually hoped you might have some news.”
“No, ma’am. I wish I could help, but I don’t believe those two kids ever had any further contact. Please believe that Dickey wasn’t raised to go after your granddaughter the way Richard Sr. went after you. It was just a coincidence between them.”
“Oh, we always knew that. Alicia wasn’t aware of the family history, either. When she learned everything, well, let’s just say my granddaughter and I are very much alike. Neither one of us handles shame very well.”
“I’m so sorry for what you people have gone through. If it matters to you, that night had a major impact on Dickey, too.” Mrs. Samson chuckled. “Turns out Dr. Tilman scared the bejesus out of him! As much as I hate to admit it, he wasn’t really going anywhere in his life, and he made a sudden decision to do something with himself. He joined the Army, and now he’s overseas in Germany, moving his way up the ranks. There is even talk of the Army trying to make him into an officer.”
Mrs. Samson paused. “I hope everything works out with Alicia, and if she had the baby, please let me know when you find out. I don’t have any grandchildren yet, but I sure would like to have one.”
“I sure will,” said Marjorie, grinning. “And please know that none of us Tilmans ever had a feud with you. I’m happy to hear your son is doing well and that Richard Sr. somehow changed before his death. Perhaps good things do come from tragedy.”
A group of kindergartners scrambled around the schoolyard, jumping and running from one play area to the next. Alexi had just skipped off a swing and was waiting for his turn on the monkey bars when a new kid, Eddie Palmer, poked him in the back.
“Alexi, is that your mom?” asked Eddie, pointing toward a woman on the other side of the fence.
Alexi glanced at the woman as she tucked a camera in her purse. “No, that’s not her,” he said, inching forward. “My mom picks me up later.”
“She’s been watching you.”
Alexi looked again and returned the woman’s smile. She broke into a grin and turned to leave, but she stopped and circled back for a moment before she finally walked away.
Alexi noticed Stevie Foster sitting alone in a corner of the schoolyard. “See ya,” he said to Eddie, saving the bars for later. He ran to join Stevie on the ground, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Stevie whimpered, and the two boys joined heads like Siamese twins until Alexi heard his name being called.
“Stevie is so sad,” said Alexi as his mother led him to their car.
“I know, honey. I visited his mommy yesterday, and she’s pretty sad, too.”
“Why do people have to die?”
“That’s not so easy to answer. I guess God decides when it’s our time to go. It’s God’s will.”
“But that’s not fair. Why would God do that? Stevie’s daddy must have been only twelve or thirteen.”
“Really? So how old am I?”
“Maybe twenty.”
“You sure know your way to a woman’s heart. Say, I’ve got an idea. Care to join me on a trip to the South Shore? Maybe we can catch a few trout for dinner at the pond.”
“Oh, yeah, let’s go! I love to catch trout at the fish farm. It’s so easy. Is Joe going with us?”
“No, honey. Your father is working construction over on the mountain today.”
“Mommy, when’s it going to be ski season?”
“Here we go again,” she said, shaking her head. “My answer is the same as yesterday and the day before that. We should have enough snow in a couple of months, maybe even sooner if it starts to cool off early. What’s your hurry, anyway?”
“I want to ski a scary run this year, like KT-22.”
“So, Mr. Hotshot thinks he’s ready for the run all the experts ski. When your father takes you there, then you’re ready, and not before, okay?”
“Okay, but I think I can ski anywhere now.”
“Alexi, you’re an excellent skier for your age, but the runs off that lift are very difficult. You’re right, it is scary. So let’s wait awhile before we decide to tackle it. Your father will know when you’re ready.”
“Oh, goodie! That means Joe’s gonna ski with me.”
“I plan to make sure of that, Alexi.”
Alicia zipped into Lil’s Place at about four in the afternoon, making a beeline for the stairs. As she started to climb, Mother Lil called her, waving her toward the office.
“How’s your little man?” asked Mother Lil, sitting behind her desk.
“He’s beautiful!” said Alicia, lighting up. She slid into a chair and leaned back, smoothing her wrinkled jeans.
“All this running around—date to school and school to date—and that’s when you’re not seeing your son. Is it all getting to you?”
“No, Mother Lil, I’m fine. A girl has to do whatever’s necessary to make this business a means to an end and not the end itself. Remember?”
“How well I do. How’s Lucy? Do you ever see her down at Stanford? I sure miss her.”
“I see Lucy all the time. She’s doing well.” Alicia paused. Mother Lil looks older, she thought. I don’t remember her hair being that gray. “Now, how are you? Our paths rarely cross these days with my schedule. You look a little tired yourself.”
“Girl, I’m doing okay for an old lady. My blood pressure acts up on me every once in a while. I have to stay on Mrs. Jefferson about all the salt she puts in her food, and it would help if I didn’t eat so much of it, but I’m okay for now.”
Mother Lil shifted forward. “Look, Licia, there’s a couple of things I’ve been meaning to talk to you about. First, how you doing for money? We’ve cut out all of your day dates except on the weekends every once in a while, and that means you’re making less. Are you managing school and the other extras you need okay?”
“I still make more money than most, I guess, and it’s certainly enough to pay my expenses, but thanks for asking. Plus, I have some money saved up. I’m fine as long as you don’t kick me out.” Alicia laughed, but her laugh soon faded. “What bothers me is that I pay nothing for Alexi. It just doesn’t seem right that the cost of his upbringing falls totally on the Rousseaus.”
“Don’t worry about them. I’m sure they’re doing fine. By the way, I’ve seen you reading that Wall Street Journal. If you get a hot tip, share it with me, and if you need a little something extra to tide you over, let me know. I’m here to help. The offer is only extended to you, though, so don’t let the word get out. And while we’re on the topic of money, aren’t you saving it for your son? Isn’t that the real purpose?”
“I suppose I save for myself in case of need, and the excess will go to Alexi someday.” Alicia waited a beat. “If anything should happen to me before I reunite with my parents,” she said, “will you please make sure that whatever I have gets to him some kind of way?”
“How old are you now, about to turn twenty-three?” said Mother Lil, repressing a smile. “You don’t have anything to worry about. But if there’s an accident or something, I’ll make sure everything is taken care of, assuming I’m still around. I just wish I could be in your shoes, with somebody to leave something to.”
“You have no family?”
“You girls are the only family I have, but that’s a story for a different day. How are you and your new roommate doing?”
“Daisy is fine. We’re still getting to know each other, but she seems like a nice person.”
“How is she going to work out as an escort? I’m asking for your honest opinion.”
Alicia placed her palm to her chin. “Honestly, I shouldn’t say this, but I don’t think she’s going to work out.”
“Why?”
Alicia tapped a finger on her forehead. “I don’t want to make myself out to be the world’s smartest person—I’ve made my share of mistakes, as you know. But Daisy lacks the mental capacity to be a truly effective escort. I think she could eventually cause you problems, especially where her judgment is concerned.”
“Why did I have to ask for your opinion?”
“I didn’t think it was my place to say this sort of thing to you.”
“Alicia, whatever you think about anything that goes on around here, I want to know,” said Mother Lil. “You’re the only one here I can totally trust. If I had to go away for a few days, I’m confident I could leave matters to you. Okay?”
Alicia nodded.
“How are things at Stanford?” asked Mother Lil.
“Things are going well. I think the time off helped. Now I have a different motivation than when I first met you.”
Mother Lil gave Alicia an unusually generous smile. “Girl, I’m so proud of you I don’t know what to do,” she said. “You’re going to be my Stanford graduate, you and Lucy. I knew what I was doing when I put you two together.”
Alicia’s jaw tightened. “Thank you, but I owe it all to you. I remember the day I first walked in here, scared, lost, and pregnant. I had strayed from the path my parents prepared me for. But now I’m back on track. You took me in and made it possible, and I know I can never repay you except with love. I’m going to keep on going, and I’m not stopping until I can make myself and everyone else proud. So whatever it takes for me to finish school and do my job here, that’s what I’m going to do.”
Mother Lil shook her head as she became teary-eyed. “Licia, I have cried once in the last twenty-five years, when you handed Alexi off to Joanna, and if you keep talking I will cry again today. All these heifers are going to think I’m getting soft. Get out of here! Go on and get!”
Danielle avoided eye contact with Alicia, refusing to acknowledge her smile as the two passed one another on the stairs. She barged into Mother Lil’s office and slammed the door.
Mother Lil jumped in her seat. “Danielle, you ought to know better than to come running in here like that!”
Danielle stood with her hands on her hips, her nostrils flaring and her lips stuck out. “Mother Lil, I’ve had it with that prissy little bitch!”
“To whom are you referring?” asked Mother Lil, folding her arms to her chest and cocking her head to the side.
“Alicia Du Bois or Tilman, whatever her name is.”
“And what has she done to you?”
“She stole my best customer, Peter Davro.”
“Whose best customer?”
“You know Peter has always asked for me. He’s been my regular for three years now. Then, when I was busy a couple of months ago, you turned him over to Alicia for an evening, and I haven’t seen him since. I just called him to find out why, and he told me he’s been dating her. Come on, Mother Lil, you know that’s not right.”
Mother Lil hopped out of her seat, pushing the chair away. “Sit your ass down!” she said.
Danielle sat in a huff, rolling her eyes.
“Obviously, you and I have a bad understanding,” said Mother Lil. “First off, he’s never been your customer. He’s my customer. He goes where I send him. You got that straight? Second, who the hell authorized you to call a client and dig into his personal business? You just jeopardized my relationship with him and my money, you ungrateful, skinny-ass heifer!”
“But—”
“But my fat butt! You don’t get it, do you? If anybody around here can consider themselves having customers besides me, it’s Alicia. I get calls from men I don’t even know asking for her, and she’s never met them, either. She has a reputation. She has things so busy around here, she can’t see them all. The men interested in her get directed to you and Celia and Cathy and everybody else. You ought to be thanking her, not cussing her. Aren’t you making more money now than before?”
“Uh, yeah, I guess so,” said Danielle, squinting.
“Thank Alicia, ’cause it sure ain’t you or me.”
“Well, she must be doing something to have all that interest in her.”
“She’s doing nothing but being the kind of woman a man wants to be around. That’s all she’s doing, and that’s all any of you need to do.”
“But Peter used to like to be around me, too!” said Danielle, in tears.
“Nothing’s changed,” said Mother Lil, finding her chair and sitting back down. “Peter still likes to be around you, but he has things going on in his life he can’t talk to you about. He can tell you’re either not interested or you don’t understand.”
“Like what?”
“Like a merger.”
“A merger?”
“That’s my point. You don’t even know what it is, but Alicia is fascinated by it. She listens to him and asks really good questions and sometimes offers advice. Peter told me she makes him think about certain things more carefully, and he likes that.”
“Well, if she’s so smart, why doesn’t Peter just go ahead and hire her?”
“Because it’s cheaper and more enjoyable to date her. Don’t you see that? He doesn’t have to pay her full time.”
Mother Lil hesitated, blowing a hissing sound from between her teeth. “Look, Danielle, I’ll tell you what,” she said. “I got somebody important flying in, and Alicia is going to be his escort. Peter asked for her tonight, and obviously she’s not available. I thought about Diana, but if you want to reestablish yourself with Peter, then fine. What you better be doing between now and this evening is learning all there is to know about mergers. And I’m going to tell you one more thing. If you ever come in this office slamming doors and sticking those fat-ass lips out at me again, you had better pack your bags and find yourself a regular modeling job, because you will be out on the streets. Do you understand me completely?”
“Yes, ma’am. Sorry.”
“You should never have to say you’re sorry. Think before you act, and drop your little petty-ass attitude toward Alicia. It’s not you versus her. Now get the hell out of here.”
Later that evening, Danielle snuck into Lil’s Place with a partially unbuttoned blouse, smeared lipstick, and misplaced hair. She took off her shoes and crept upstairs. At Alicia’s room, she stopped and smiled at the door. She heard fast-paced typing coming from within.
Damn, this bitch is serious, she thought, looking at her watch. It’s four in the morning, and she’s still working on something? Well, keep at it, little girl. Peter won’t be looking to date you anytime soon. I just made sure of that, and I’ll bet he’s never tipped you the way he just tipped me. Danielle threw her head back and swished down the hall.
Joe Rousseau watched the evening news as Madeline tucked Alexi in for the night. Lying in bed, he winced at the pain seeping into his lower back. He hoped Madeline would take mercy on him and perform her magic with a rub, but he forgot his discomfort as soon as she marched into the room.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
She switched off the TV and crossed her arms. “Do you love Alexi?”
“Maddie, why the question? What have I done, or not done?”
“You don’t show him love, Joseph. He’s a beautiful, bright boy. You should be proud of him, but you seem so indifferent. Alexi calls you Joe because you want him to. You never call him your son. It’s always that kid, that boy, or just plain Alexi. You were different with Todd. He went everywhere with you. When he got sick, you cared for him as much as I did. You fed and bathed him. You read him books and told him stories. You do none of that for Alexi, yet he looks up to you. You are his great ski-champion father, and he hangs on your every word when you get around to working with him. You should have heard him today in all of this heat, so excited at the possibility of skiing with you down the steeps off KT-22. I hate to say this, and I don’t like to compare, but Alexi is better than Todd at this age, and you don’t even recognize it.”
“Don’t say that,” yelled Joe, bolting up in bed. “Todd was the best racer in his age-group, a natural, someone destined to ski the World Cup and become a champion. Only a rare gift can duplicate that.”
“Well, Alexi is a rare gift. So what is it with you? Is it because he has a little color and we don’t know where it comes from? Is that the problem?”
“No, Maddie, you know better. I guess I didn’t realize I treated him so differently.”
Madeline uncrossed her arms and sat on the side of the bed. “But you do, Joseph. It’s obvious to everyone who saw you and Todd together.”
“Now you bring other people into our business. Name them!”
“Everyone!”
“Well, maybe it’s because you pushed him down my throat! I came home one day and there he was. How was I supposed to react? I hadn’t even begun to get over the death of our son. I felt empty, defeated, cheated. I lived in devastation, and there was this brand-new baby, and you had replaced Todd with him. Did I ever have any input? No! Alexi just appeared, delivered to our doorstep, and your mind was made up just like that.”
Joe cracked a smile. “Then it became like old times. You were happy, and because I love you I became happy for you, and I’m still happy for you. But nothing’s changed for me. Alexi replaced Todd for you. No one can replace Todd for me. It’s that simple.”
Madeline breathed deeply. “He’s not a replacement,” she said, softening her voice. “Alexi brought me acceptance, Joseph. Our Todd is gone. Accept it, and then you can move on.”
“I can’t. I try, but I can’t. Todd comes to me, even now. I drive in the car and feel him sitting right next to me, where he should have been the day he died. I stand on the snow looking down a racecourse, and there’s Todd, blasting down the mountain like a bat out of hell. Then he gives me this shiteating grin and says, ‘Did you see that run, Papa? Nice, huh?’” Joe wiped away his tears. “Then he looks at me and says, ‘I’m fine, Papa. Don’t worry about me. I’m really fine.’ Then his grin returns and I feel a little better, but I don’t accept. So you tell me, how can I allow someone else to call me Papa when my son has been taken from me? Answer me. How can I allow someone else to call me Papa?”
The Stanford campus bustled with activity as Alicia and Lucy sat on newly manicured grass, eating lunch. A loudspeaker blared in the distance—a call to arms of sorts—and other students rushed in its direction.
“Looks like a frustrated mob thirsting for a cause,” observed Lucy. “Want to see what the ruckus is all about?”
Alicia shook her head. “It’s a demonstration against apartheid in South Africa. I’m sympathetic to the cause, but I have a class after lunch, and I want to spend a little time with you. So tell me, have you decided on what you’re going to do after graduation?”
“If my father’s health continues to hold up well, I may go to business school next year, if I can get in.”
“Why would getting into business school be a problem for you? You’ve smoked through this place.”
“Business schools are starting to insist on practical work experience.”
“You’ve got that,” said Alicia, winking. “You’ve been a highly compensated member of an elite consulting group.”
“Yeah, right!”
Alicia suddenly felt eyes. She noticed a group of young men walking by, whispering amongst each other as they stared and grinned.
“So, Alicia, are you at least talking to anyone yet?” asked Lucy.
“There’s this guy trying to hit on me in my economics class,” replied Alicia with a shrug. “And there are others, too, but they’re all the same. They look at every part of my body other than the part that counts: my eyes. They’re all interested in one thing only, and it’s not what I think or feel.
“Here’s a case in point. Rasheed, the organizer of that demonstration, is a nice-looking guy, and I admit I’m attracted to him. We were talking one day about the situation in South Africa, and we wound up in a coffee shop. When it closed, he invited me to continue the conversation in his room. Now I’m suspicious, Lucy, because when I’ve seen him in the past, he’s always been rapping to some honey, but with me he seems sincere, into the cause and all, so I agree to join him. Then, as soon as we get there, the conversation ends. He jumps romantic and kisses me. I’m shocked at first, but I’m only human, and I think he must have sensed my need—maybe I’m giving off a sex smell or something. The next thing I know, his hands are roaming all over, and I’m craving more. But a red light goes off. One, I don’t know him very well, and he’s shown no interest in trying to know the real me. Two, South Africa was just a ruse to get in my pants. And three, this is exactly how I got pregnant with Alexi. As much as I may need the relief, I’m not interested in casual sex. Been there, done that—even with protection I might add—and I’ve paid the price.”
“You’ll find romance with the right person when you’re ready,” said Lucy.
“Romance would be lovely, especially with someone I could disclose everything to—I mean my entire situation, including Lil’s Place and Alexi—but I don’t have the time. To find romance, you first have to put up with nonsense, and I’m too busy pursuing my goals and keeping an eye on my son.”
“Speaking of Lil’s Place, aren’t you glad none of these guys can afford a date?”
“Some of them may have the money, but they don’t need a rent-a-gal with all of the opportunities around here. Yet one of my greatest fears has been that some student I know, like Rasheed, or even worse, a professor, will arrange a date through Lil’s Place, and that date will be me. Talk about embarrassing. I can hear the gossip now: If you want a date with Alicia Tilman, you have to pay for it—which means, of course, if you want a special date, you have to pay for that, too. Rasheed called me a bitch when I left his room. If he knew where I lived, he probably would have called me something worse. What I do doesn’t smell aboveboard to the average person. People would never understand.”
“I know,” said Lucy. “It always used to bother me, too.”
“Are you familiar with Jean Toomer, a writer from the Harlem Renaissance?”
“Sure, I read Cane in a literature class.”
“Then you may remember Karintha. She’s the woman who, even as a young girl, men always wanted, which ultimately led to her demise. Sometimes I feel like a modern-day Karintha.”
“There’s no cause for that. Men bring you money, sure, and some may want sex in return, but you refuse to be corrupted. And if you’re worried about appearances, the truth is your protection. I know firsthand how the truth, once it’s known, can heal deep wounds. Just look at my relationship with my father.”
Alicia let that sink in. “Maybe so. The problem is that truth can be blurred beyond recognition.”
When Alicia returned home that day, she discovered an item of mail sent from Chesapeake. She ran to her room, tore the envelope open, and began to read.
Dear Alicia:
What a shock! Girl, I was so happy to hear from you the other day. Like I said over the phone, I got your back. Your secrets are safe with me, and I’ll let you in on anything I find out about your family. Ms. Marjorie and my grandmother yap all the time, so I’ll get the 411 from Grans.
It’s been a long time, Alicia. I’m glad to hear you’re alive and well. The way you left was such a mystery. I felt angry because you didn’t tell me your plans, but later I understood. This cop came at me tough with questions. It would have been real difficult to lie for you. I guess you knew what you were doing by operating on the QT.
Things here in Chesapeake were rocky at first. Everybody wondered what happened to you. We were all left in the dark because your family wasn’t talking. By the way, I forgot to tell you on the phone about your dad. Apparently, one night after you left he confronted Dickey Samson and his folks with a gun. He got charged with assault with a deadly weapon, but the charges were eventually dropped. The shit got all blown up in the papers for a while.
So you’re in San Francisco, and you had a son! Wow! Is Dickey the father? You can tell me, Alicia, I won’t say a word. He was one cute white boy, and I know he liked you. If Dickey is the father, I guess that would explain your dad and the gun. Regardless, it sounds like you have things going your way, back in school and all. You said you’ll return when you get yourself really together, so your mom and dad will be proud of you again. Knowing you, Alicia, it won’t be long. You were always the baddest sister in Chesapeake.
Love,
Your Homegirl (Betty)
Alicia released the letter from her fingers as she suppressed her tears. She watched it flutter until it settled on the floor.
I was finally getting my life together, she thought, making progress, and now this: my father arrested, charged with a crime, in newspapers for the wrong reasons, all because of my stupid ass. I had a hard-enough time dealing with what I did, but look at what I caused him to do.
I knew that Mom and Dad would have to face certain questions after I left Chesapeake, like, How’s Alicia? Is she enjoying Radcliffe? When is she coming home? I knew I had shamed them as much as I shamed myself. But my problem just blew up in magnitude. I’ve ruined lives, and everybody from Mama Tilman to Benny must hate me. So how can I ever deserve to go home? Betty thinks it will be soon, but a college degree is not enough to undo the mess I made. I have miles to go before I sleep.
Alicia retrieved the letter and tucked it away in her desk. “I am somebody,” she mumbled as her eyes watered. “I am not Karintha! I am somebody, and don’t you dare cry.”