his would not let her come to terms with what she had done. Though that had long ago ceased to be a goal. This act today could never erase her actions; nothing could. But this was the right thing to do, and she had been planning it for a long time, since that day three years ago. She was thirty-six years old, but it felt like those three years had consumed half of her life.

No, getting rid of the guilt was not going to happen. This might ease the pain some, but it would never entirely go away. Not even close. So the best she could hope for was not to feel good, but rather less bad.

She had known she would do it for a long time, far too long. But even in her self-loathing, she was self-protective. So she waited until she was sure she was safe and that they could never find her.

She had tried once, and it had been a disaster and only made things worse. Much worse … a man had died. She couldn’t be sure it was as a result of what she did, but she believed that it was.

She knew even then that there would be a time she would try again, and that time had come.

She had her reasons for what she did back then, but looking back, they seemed so insufficient. They convinced her it was the right thing, and they gave her all that money. She needed that money, and somehow they knew it.

She pulled up to the building and waited to make sure the people weren’t there. She knew they wouldn’t be; she had patiently observed their arrival every day for a week. They would pull up in twenty minutes sharp; they were very punctual that way. That was why she chose this time to arrive; this way he would be outside and unprotected for only a short time.

She turned off the car and got out and then opened the rear passenger door. The border collie perked up; he just figured he was going for a walk.

Which he was, in a way. But that walk was only about twenty feet, to the front of the building. Once there, she had to work quickly. With gloved hands, she tied his leash to the door handle and taped the envelope with the note to the door.

She gave the dog a small pat on the head and turned to go back to the car. It was then that she realized she was crying. It did not surprise her.

The woman made the mistake of looking to her left, toward the gas station / convenience store. She saw a man watching her through the window, and then she quickly turned away. She doubted he could recognize her or identify her from that brief moment, but either way, there was nothing she could do about it.

She got in the car and pulled away, not looking back at the dog. By now she was sobbing, so much so that it was hard for her to drive.

But it was over now, out of her hands. They would do what they would do, and she would be alone with her pain.