When Kyle showed up at Jacob’s game, he was wearing the leather bracelet Phoenix had made for him. Riley tried not to let that bother him, but he found his eyes straying to it again and again.
“She’s not here yet?”
“Who?” Riley asked, pretending Phoenix hadn’t been on his mind just about every second since she’d come back.
“You know who. Jake’s mom.”
“No.”
Kyle rested both fists on his hips. “Maybe I should go by her place, see if she needs a ride.”
“I dropped off her bike last night.” Since it had been late, and all her lights were off, he’d left it leaning against the side of the trailer, where he’d found it when they’d brought over the clothes and food. He’d also left her a Whiskey Creek Miners baseball cap, in case she hadn’t been able to find a hat to hide her stitches.
Kyle continued to search the crowd. “It’s a long ride,” he said.
“Not as long as it is a walk. I’m sure she’ll be here soon.” He didn’t want Kyle giving her a ride if she wouldn’t accept one from him.
Kyle didn’t seem to like his response, but he sat down and propped his feet on the bench below them, as Riley was doing. “It’ll take guts to come here, especially on a bike.”
“There’s nothing wrong with riding a bike,” Riley said.
“When you’re doing it to stay healthy or for the environment, no. But riding a bike because you’re an ex-con and don’t have any better transportation? That only gives people something else to look down on you for.”
“The people in this town feel as if they have plenty to look down on her for already.”
“That’s why I’m worried. I don’t like the idea of everyone pointing and staring.”
“She’s not even here yet, Kyle.”
“If she comes.”
“She’ll be fine. She just wants to see Jacob play.”
“So she’ll brave it. I get that. She braves a lot of things. But this won’t be easy.”
Riley scowled at him. He wasn’t pleased by how defensive of Phoenix Kyle had become. They were the only two in their circle of friends who weren’t married. Neither one of them had met the right woman. But Riley wasn’t about to let Kyle start thinking Phoenix might be a possibility. “She’s none of your concern, bro.”
Kyle threw him a disgruntled look. He obviously found that comment unnecessary, but Riley didn’t retract it. He pretended to focus on watching his son warm up—until Kyle muttered, “Oh, shit.”
Riley followed his friend’s line of sight to see his parents approaching with their padded bleacher seats and cooler, and said the same thing to himself. They came whenever possible. Now that they were retired, that included at least half of Jacob’s home games. But Riley had hoped they’d miss this one. He hadn’t mentioned it to them, hadn’t mentioned that Jacob had invited Phoenix, either.
“Hello!” His mother lifted up her chair so he’d come take it from her and help her get situated. He did that while his father visited with the parents of another kid on the team. But Riley had a hard time acting happy to see his folks. Phoenix was going to have it rough enough, being noticed by everyone else. The last thing she needed was for his mother to be staring daggers at her.
At least Corinne Mansfield hadn’t come. Corinne and his mother were close enough that Corinne attended some of Jacob’s games. They’d sit and talk through most of it, but Helen felt she was doing her part just by being there.
“Who are we playing today?” she asked.
“El Dorado High,” Riley said.
“They’re from Placerville, aren’t they?”
“Yeah.”
“Jake can handle them Cougars.” His father, having finished his conversation, joined them.
Riley hoped his dad was right. He always got a little nervous for his son. So much of the game depended on the pitcher. It was a great deal of pressure, especially since Jake hoped to play college ball.
But today there were other, bigger things to worry about, he realized as he spotted a lone woman making her way to an isolated spot in the visitors’ bleachers.
Phoenix had arrived.
* * *
Phoenix felt so many butterflies in her stomach, she thought she might be sick. She kept telling herself that everything would be fine, that if Buddy Mansfield had any reason to attend the game, he wouldn’t attack her in front of so many spectators. Most sporting events were well attended in Whiskey Creek. There weren’t many other things to do. They didn’t even have their own movie theater.
But who could say what might happen? And as much as she feared getting hurt again, she was even more worried that her coming here might turn out to be an embarrassment for her son. She couldn’t imagine Jacob would invite her back if her presence caused too much of a scene.
Pulling her hat low in hopes that she wouldn’t be noticed or recognized, she sat as far as she could from the home crowd, along the edge of the opposite bleacher, where she could see her bike. She didn’t have a lock and didn’t want it to be stolen. She doubted any of these people would be tempted to take it for its financial value, but if they realized it belonged to her, there was no telling what they might do…
Taking a deep breath, she searched the baseball diamond and spotted her son in the bull pen. He looked so mature in his uniform. She smiled as she rested her chin on her hand and listened to that solid whomp as the ball hit the catcher’s mitt over and over.
Fortunately, no one on the visitors’ side seemed to care about her. She wasn’t causing a stir even on the home side. If she was lucky, the whole game would pass this way.
That gave her a bit of confidence, so she grabbed the backpack she used to carry around her computer and took out the sunflower seeds and sports drink she’d purchased for Jake by scrounging up all the change she could find in her mother’s trailer. Lizzie had complained about the “mess” Phoenix made searching through everything, but she’d done it while eating the breakfast Phoenix had prepared for her, so she hadn’t been too serious about it.
Anxious to give her son these treats, like the other mothers were doing, she waited for the right moment. She’d hate to get him in trouble with the coach…
When the game was about to start, she decided it was too late. Better to forget her little offering than to create a problem. But the way Jake kept looking into the stands as if he was searching for someone made her wonder if he could be looking for her.
She waved to get his attention, and he waved back, apparently satisfied. Taking courage from that, she kept her eyes trained on him and walked down to the fence.
“I brought you some seeds,” she said when he met her there. “But maybe you already have some.”
“I can always use more.” He came around the fence to accept the Gatorade, too. “Thanks!”
“I’m really excited to see you play,” she told him.
He flashed her a grin. “I hope I don’t screw up.”
She slipped her hands in the pockets of the shorts Kyle had purchased for her. She’d worn them with the pretty turquoise blouse that was her favorite. “You won’t. But it doesn’t matter to me either way. I’m proud of you just for getting out there.”
The coach called him, and he put his Gatorade and seeds in the dugout before taking the mound to finish warming up.
She stood at the fence awhile longer. She could see him so much more clearly when she was this close—until the opposing team filled the dugout, blocking her view, and someone started calling out the batting order.
“You can do this,” she murmured for Jacob’s sake. That was when she first noticed Riley. He was sitting directly across from her, wearing the same kind of ball cap she was. She couldn’t be sure because the bill of that cap shaded his face, but she thought he was staring at her. And he wasn’t the only one. Kyle was sitting with him. So were his parents. Phoenix hadn’t seen Helen and Tom for seventeen years, but she recognized them. The fact that she’d come out of the stands to speak to Jacob had alerted everyone to her identity.
Feeling far too conspicuous, she let go of the chain link—she hadn’t even been aware that she’d been clinging to it—and forced her legs to carry her back to the unobtrusive spot she’d selected. She figured if she didn’t do anything else, they’d eventually look away. So she leaned over to check on her bike, which was, thankfully, still leaning against the pole that supported the back of the bleachers. Then she clasped her hands in her lap and tried to ignore everything except the game.
She might’ve managed that, except she caught sight of some commotion and couldn’t help another nervous glance in Riley’s direction. His mother had started toward her, but Riley had gotten up and taken hold of Helen’s arm.
Phoenix couldn’t hear them, but she knew they were arguing—about her—and that brought a fresh onslaught of self-consciousness and concern. Should she leave? Others were beginning to study her and whisper. Even Jacob, who’d thrown three pitches, had stopped to look over at them, then at her, as if he understood exactly what was going on.
Afraid she might blow his concentration if she stayed, she hurried down the bleachers, hopped on her bike and pedaled home.
* * *
Jacob didn’t say much after he got home from the game. Riley had grilled him a burger and opened a can of green beans, but he refused to serve the mashed sweet potatoes his mother had dropped off earlier, even though that was their favorite dish. He was mad at her for the way she’d reacted to seeing Phoenix at the ballpark. Largely because of her and the upset she’d caused, Jake had struggled at the mound and been pulled from the pitcher’s mound. Even worse, they’d lost the game.
“Will you want another burger when you’re done with that one?” he asked as he watched his son chewing glumly.
“No.”
Riley had eaten earlier when the burgers first came off the grill. The coach had kept Jacob late—talking to him about his poor performance, no doubt—so Riley had to keep his son’s food warm until he got home. “You okay?”
“I’ve been better.”
“It’s hard to pitch when you can’t focus on the game. You had a lot on your mind.”
Jake said nothing, so Riley assumed he’d finish his meal in silence. But his son suddenly blurted out, “I feel bad for her! Doesn’t anyone care that she might’ve been innocent?”
Riley didn’t want to have that debate again. He’d believed she was guilty; he couldn’t have stopped her from going to prison, anyway. But now that she was back, he was having the same doubts and sympathies Jacob was. “Your grandma shouldn’t have made a scene. Phoenix had every right to be there.”
“Exactly! I invited her! But Grandma thinks it’s okay to hate her—that we should all hate her. I saw how mad she got when you wouldn’t let her go over to Phoenix. She left the park, too.”
The public nature of that argument had been embarrassing. Riley owed his parents a great deal. They’d given him so much support with Jacob. He doubted he could’ve gotten through Jacob’s infancy without them; at eighteen, there was no way he could’ve been the type of father Jacob needed and gotten through college at the same time.
His mother had reminded him of that in front of the whole home crowd. But, damn it, wasn’t he justified in telling her to butt out on certain issues? Or was it as ungrateful as she said it was for him to accept her mashed sweet potatoes, for instance, but not her advice?
“Grandpa didn’t leave,” he pointed out, looking for a bright spot to cheer his son.
Jake sent him a look indicating that didn’t help. “I bet he wanted to when I walked my fourth batter!”
It had been difficult to watch his son miss the strike zone so many times, especially since Riley knew that personal issues were getting in the way of his performance. But he didn’t want to make a big deal of it. He was sure the coach had already said all there was to say. “Every pitcher has an off night now and then, even the pros.”
“I’m not worried about me, Dad. Baseball’s a game. It means a lot to me, but…I can’t quit thinking about how Mom must’ve felt, being chased off like that.”
She’d ridden a bike for ten miles—to the high school and back—in the heat of the day and with six stitches in her head. As Riley watched the game, he kept remembering that. He’d also imagined Buddy spotting her along the road and running her into another ditch.
“I saw she brought you something to drink,” he said. “That was nice of her.”
“Yeah. She got me some sunflower seeds, too.” He toyed with his green beans but didn’t seem too interested in eating them. “I’ve watched other kids’ moms do that stuff my whole life—be it the room mom or the team mom or…whatever. Today it felt like it was my turn to have my mom do that, even though it is kind of late.”
Riley had done all he could to make sure Jacob had everything he needed, but he couldn’t completely replace a mother. He’d had to work even harder when Jacob was young, when he’d been trying to get his business started. He hadn’t been able to spend much time at the school. He’d felt out of place when he did go, since he was generally the only man and so much younger than the other parents. “Your grandma used to send in cupcakes for your birthday.”
That wasn’t much of a consolation, but Riley didn’t have anything else to say.
“And it was nice of her,” Jacob responded, “but…does she have to make me feel bad just because I want to know my mother? I mean, do we have to believe what everyone else thinks, or can we make up our own minds?”
Riley sighed as he took a stool at the island where Jacob was eating. “We owe it to ourselves, and your mother, to do just that.”
“Even if we’re the only ones who like her?”
“Even if. That’s why I stopped your grandma.”
Jacob put a green bean in his mouth. “So you don’t mind if I get to know her.”
“I want you to be happy. That’s what I want.”
He seemed encouraged. “Can we go over to her place, then, and see if she’s okay?”
Riley had wanted to do that all evening; he just didn’t know what kind of reception he’d get. Lizzie didn’t like him any more than his mother liked Phoenix. No doubt she considered him Whiskey Creek’s chief devil. Even Phoenix acted as if she preferred he stayed away. And she’d definitely mentioned that she didn’t want Jacob to see her trailer in its current condition.
“I’m not sure she really wants us out there,” he said.
“Why not?” Jacob asked.
“You know what her mother’s like. The place is a mess. That’s embarrassing to Phoenix.”
“But we don’t care about the mess. I’d like to apologize. I don’t want her to think I set her up for what happened.”
“She knows you’d never do that.”
Still, what could it hurt to go over there? Maybe Phoenix would feel self-conscious about a few things, but she had to be used to that. And Riley thought Jacob would see what he saw—someone in a hell of a battle doing everything she could to keep fighting.
“Fine,” he said. “Get showered and we’ll go.”
* * *
The lights were on in Phoenix’s trailer, but she didn’t answer their knock.
So Riley yelled through one of the open windows. “Phoenix, it’s Riley and Jake! Hello? You around?”
There was no response and no rustle of movement. But the bike he’d had Noah fix was leaning against the trailer, so he knew she’d made it home.
“Maybe she’s at her mother’s,” Jake suggested, and turned to look at the other trailer.
Riley didn’t want to knock there. It wasn’t easy for Lizzie to come to the door. And he had no idea what she might say in front of Jacob. That earlier stuff about Phoenix spreading her legs for him wasn’t an image he wanted introduced to Jacob’s mind.
“I’ve got paper in the car. Maybe we should leave a note with our apology,” Riley said.
Jacob agreed, but before Riley could finish writing, Phoenix came out from somewhere at the back of the property.
“Riley? Jake?” she called out when she saw them standing beside the truck. “What are you two doing?”
Jacob crumpled the note and tossed it on the floorboard before closing the door. “Nothing. We just…we wanted to make sure you were okay.”
She walked toward them, carrying her sandals in one hand. “I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me.” She grinned at Jake but Riley could tell that grin wasn’t as nonchalant as she wanted them to believe. “You looked so professional in your uniform today. It’s hard to believe I have a son who’s so big and strong.”
Riley noticed how quickly she tried to change the subject. She’d been smart to offer a compliment. But Jake wasn’t buying it. He was too focused on what he’d come to say.
“My grandma shouldn’t have started anything. I’m really sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. I understand that you can’t control the people around you. I would’ve stayed, except I was too afraid it would be distracting for you. We should’ve thought of that beforehand.”
“No, I want you to come,” Jake insisted.
“And I will. If your grandparents don’t attend the away games, maybe it’d be smarter for me to go to those. We could’ve been a little more strategic, that’s all. There’s no need to upset anyone.”
“But how will you get to those games without a car?” he asked. “They’re all pretty far.”
“I should have some money coming in over the next week. I can always take a taxi.”
Riley guessed she’d received some bracelet orders and was talking about the money from their sale. But, surely, there were better ways to spend that money.
Still, he was impressed at how hard she tried to relieve Jake’s concern.
“You didn’t miss anything,” Jake grumbled. “I had the worst game of my life, and because of me, we lost.”
“You’ll win the next one,” she said with real conviction.
Riley saw that her feet and legs were wet. “Don’t tell me you were in the creek.”
“For a few minutes,” she said. “I like to wade out there. It cools me off and it’s quiet, especially at night. It’s also away from all the junk my mother’s piled everywhere else, so it has a much nicer view.”
“I’m glad you locked your door even though you weren’t going far,” Riley said. “It might be a pain, but it’s better to be safe.”
“I do what I can. But if Buddy wants to get in, I don’t think locking my front door will stop him. It’s too hot to keep the windows closed. I’d suffocate if I tried.” She switched her sandals to her other hand. “Buddy and I are going to have to work out our differences at some point.”
Riley shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “You haven’t heard from him?”
“No.”
Maybe Chief Bennett did have a talk with him, and it had been more effective than Riley had expected. He hoped so. “Good.”
“I’d invite you both in, but…it’s a school night and Jacob probably needs to get to bed.”
“I have homework,” Jake admitted.
“Go get it done, and I’ll have you over for dinner sometime soon. What’s your favorite meal?”
“Spaghetti and meatballs.”
“I should be able to manage that. If I practice,” she added with a rueful laugh. “I didn’t learn too much about cooking before I went…away.”
Riley wasn’t sure whether that invitation included him, but he wasn’t about to ask. “Be careful to pull the door all the way shut. It doesn’t always latch.”
“I will, but the screen on the big window is right there…”
“So? It might give you a few seconds to prepare or escape, if…if something happens.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
“Night, Mom.” Jacob gave her a brief hug before getting in the truck.
She seemed so overwhelmed by that gesture she didn’t say anything, didn’t even respond when Riley said goodbye. He started around to the driver’s side, but she caught him before he could open his door and lowered her voice. “I’d leave, you know, if I could. I understand that my being in town is hard on you guys.”
He glanced at Jake, who was inside putting on his seat belt, to make sure he wasn’t paying attention. “We’re not asking you to go.”
“I’m just saying that would make it easier on both of you, if I could. Move to Sacramento or somewhere not too far away. Jake could come visit me once in a while, and you wouldn’t have to see me at all. Then the Mansfields, your family, everyone would be happy. But…it’s my mom. She won’t move, no matter how nicely I ask her.”
You wouldn’t have to see me at all. As if he hated her that much. “She probably can’t afford it,” he said.
“She can’t. But once I get on my feet, I’m hoping that’ll change, at least to some extent. It’s mostly fear that holds her back. Fear of the unknown, fear of leaving her trailer, fear of people. It runs her life.”
“That’s tragic.”
“She may not be much of a mother, but I can’t go off and live my life and just…leave her here when she’s not even taking proper care of herself.”
When he opened his mouth to speak, she cut him off.
“I know, I was gone for seventeen years and she survived.”
She’d assumed he was looking for ways to overturn her decision to stay, but he wasn’t. He’d planned to tell her to do whatever she felt she needed to, and everyone else would have to adjust. But she was still talking, so he didn’t get the chance.
“My brothers have already abandoned her. And she’s so convinced I won’t be able to love her, either, she’s trying to make sure of it.”
“By being unlovable.”
“It doesn’t make sense. But…I’m going to show her that I’ll stick with her through thick and thin. If she gets nothing else out of life, she should have that. Family is the most important thing. That’s what I’ve learned. Which means I have no choice.”
“Jake and I are fine,” he said. “Don’t worry about us.”
Her chest rose as she drew a deep breath. “Thank you. I just…I wanted you to understand that I wasn’t trying to be a thorn in your side—although it must appear that way.”
“I can handle my mother.”
“And Jake?”
“He’d rather you were here.”
“Thanks.”
He reached for the door handle, then paused. “That invitation for dinner you mentioned to Jake…”
“Yes?”
“Does it include me?”
She seemed taken aback. “Of course. You’re welcome at anything I do with Jake.”
He’d wanted her to say yes, but not for that reason. She seemed to think his only interest lay in policing her relationship with their son.
He wished that was the case—because some of the thoughts that went through his mind when he looked at Phoenix would shock just about everyone.