WHAT THE HELL had just happened?
Lola wasn’t just thinking about the sex—she was thinking about the sharp tug on her heart as she’d kissed him, eyes open, and had seen deep into his gaze. The way he’d encouraged her to be herself—to let go, to let him show her the way. Mirrored in his eyes were the emotions she’d felt, heart full, overwhelming. This wasn’t just about her, this was about the two of them. Together.
Tears pricked her eyes but she blinked them away. She was surely just being silly. She couldn’t feel so much for Jake after such a short time. It was dangerous, and bordering on absurd.
But she did feel something...something new.
He twisted to the side and wrapped her close in his arms, spooning behind her. And it felt right. Two hearts catching the same rhythm, breaths gradually slowing after exercise, his warmth. And he fitted around her as if he was meant to be there. So right, so crazy. Her head was spinning while he was whispering in her ear, ‘See...babe magnet.’
‘Believe me, this has got nothing to do with juggling oranges.’
‘That’s what you think.’
‘I know so...’ She turned and prodded his tummy as he laughed, thinking how easy it could be to relax into this and be happy. Happy. Now, there was a thought.
He kissed behind her ear and growled, ‘It’s just animal magnetism, then.’
‘Yes. Probably.’ And a whole lot more she didn’t want to put a name to. However, it was fine to get all romantic here when neither of them had much to do. But back at work, back in Los Angeles it would be different. Busy lives. Plans. Not plans that blended easily, if at all.
Suddenly there was a warm, wet raspy feeling on her toe. ‘Ugh. What the hell—? Butter? Oh, my God, I’d forgotten about the dogs. Look at us here, like this. Naked!’ She threw back her head and laughed, because, yes, it was absurd. ‘They’re going to need therapy after this. We might have scarred them for life.’
Jake grabbed a throw and wrapped it around her, while he found a cushion and covered himself. And laughed, heartily. ‘Shoo. Go away. No harm done. Just teaching them a thing or two. Birds and bees...or whatever it is in puppy language.’
‘Thank God they can’t talk.’
Butter stopped licking and twitched to the right, nose in the air, ears back. Then she began to bark. Just as the doorbell rang. A creeping panic built in Lola’s chest. ‘Oh...oh, could it be Cameron? Oh, hell. Quick. Clothes. On.’
‘Damn. Damn. Damn.’ Cushion still firmly in place, Jake jumped back then started to drag on his shorts. In her mind-melted state she did manage to sneak a look at his perfect body one last time and remember how good it had been to have the weight of him over her.
And then she gave in to her panic. The doorbell rang again. Jake offered her his hand and pulled her from the sofa, tightened the throw around her. ‘Go put something on, I’ll get the door. Thank God for blinds is all I can say.’ He gave her the gentlest smile she’d seen in years. ‘Come on, Lola. Laugh.’
She tried to smile, tried to find this the funniest thing she’d experienced in years, she did. Taking time out of work for great sex in the dining room of her boss’s rented house, while looking after three dogs and nursing a sore foot. But how could she? None of this was funny. Not any more. She hissed, ‘It’s my job at risk. Okay? And yours possibly. But mostly mine.’
‘Go. Disappear. I’ll fix this.’ And he wafted his hand towards her bedroom.
While in there she heard voices, one female, some thumping, a groan. It didn’t sound like Cameron’s vapid loud, crisp voice or Tina’s laconic, lyrical tones. Then the door closed. Silence.
She thought about going out to see what was going on, but with her luck there’d be a troop of paparazzi there, waiting to ambush her. She could just imagine the headline: ‘PA to the stars caught having sofa sex with a canine audience’. Just great.
Within seconds Jake stood in her doorway, looking very pleased with himself. ‘Hey, it was just Evelyn Rice, dropping off the clothes. I told her I’d just been to the beach and to excuse the clothing. She was fine. A little nosy perhaps...she wanted to come in and meet Cameron...but just fine. She’s gone, the coast is clear. Although, as we are renting this place, you have every right to be naked or otherwise.’
Having managed to shrug on a bathrobe, she followed him into the lounge and to a rack of exquisite tailored clothes in jewel colours. ‘Good. Thanks. Wow, she’ll love these. You arranged for her to bring them here rather than to the house?’
‘I wasn’t sure what to do. I thought if she brought them here I’d save face if I’d got the wrong things, Cameron need never know.’
Lola ran her hand along the rack and picked out a vivid aquamarine dress that she just knew would fit her perfectly. ‘Oh, these are gorgeous. You did well. I should thank you again for arranging it all.’ Yet another reminder that she was failing somewhat in her duties. Jake had taken her mind off her job, snorkelling had taken her finger off the pulse... What had she been thinking, letting him convince her to take time off? And now...sex. Sex when she was supposed to be working. ‘Seems I’m all about thanking you today.’
‘Hey! What’s with the mood slip? Everything’s fine—no one knows what we were doing. Peanut, Butter and Jelly don’t speak human, so you don’t have to worry about them. Come here.’ He slipped his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck. Punctuating his words with kisses, he said, ‘Stop. Worrying. It’s. Going. To. Be. Fine.’
Only a few moments ago she’d thought about being happy, but now that was fading fast. She whirled round to face him, regretting having to do this but doing it anyway. There. The first regret. ‘How can you be so sure everything’s going to be okay?’
‘Go with it, Lola. We have two more nights here—look around you, it’s amazing. It’s a gift.’
‘We took our foot off the pedal. It could have been Cameron, Alfredo... Tina. We could have got the sack.’
‘I doubt anything that dramatic would have happened. Anyway, I don’t care what anyone thinks.’
‘I do.’ She drew away from him, her mind reeling with questions and reasons, but her body craving his touch regardless. ‘Look, I don’t know what to say...to think...’ She cast her eyes towards the sofa where it had all happened. ‘But we can’t do this here.’
‘No, you’re right—too uncomfortable. We have two bedrooms to choose from...’
‘No. I mean we can’t do this. This...’ In an attempt to make things clearer she wafted her hand between the two of them. Her heart had started to ache just a little at what she was about to let go. ‘This.’
Taking her wrist, he pulled her to him. ‘Lola, we can do anything we damned well like.’
‘Not if it means losing my job.’
His jovial smile faltered. ‘Hell, you’re as bad as me, work obsessed.’
Irritation started to prickle up her spine. ‘Maybe, but I am also food obsessed. Rent obsessed. Paying the bills obsessed...I need this job, it was hard to come by. You try finding a job that pays enough to let you live in LA and brings you a step closer to the life you want to live.’ She pushed a finger into his chest, ignoring the heat, ignoring the fading light in his eyes. ‘This is my life. We don’t get to jeopardise that just for a bit of sex.’
It was more than that, so much more...but how could she do this with him and keep all the promises to herself? She was here to work, to achieve her potential. Losing sight of that would be costly on so many levels.
‘Okay, then how about a lot of sex? No?’
‘You don’t get it, Jake. There’s too much at stake.’
‘What? Exactly? Other than a job you’re not fond of?’
Me. My life. My dreams. Everything I’m working for. My parents’ hearts. Before she could stop him his lips melded with hers in a long slow, bone-melting kiss. She wanted to push away, to run, to shout, to make him listen to all the objections she had on her list. But he anchored her there, to him, making her feel dizzy with desire. Heat slammed into her and despite everything she wrapped her arms around his neck, not listening to the little voice in her head telling her to stop.
He was still shirtless and his naked chest was a delight to her senses—smooth skin, the solid planes of his body, the strong beat of his heart. He kissed her and kissed her some more, long and slow as if they had all the time in the world. He explored her mouth, her neck, her throat all over again. Then feasted some more on her mouth until she was weak with need, until there was nothing more she could ever want than to be here, with him.
When he finally pulled away, his smile was confident and sure—very unlike how she was feeling. ‘That seems to work. Good.’
A little dizzy at the heady rush of his touch she made a bit of space between them. ‘Charming.’
‘I try my best.’ His fingers ran down her cheek. ‘I like you, Lola. In fact, to be truthful, I’ve never met anyone like you before. You’re unique, beautiful, sexy and smart. I like who you are and what you’re trying to do with your life—I totally respect that and I’m not going to get in the way of anything you want to do. A few hours ago you wanted this as much as I do. Look, I promise not to interfere with your work tomorrow or any day after that. I will be professional to the core and when we get back to LA I promise I’ll dip out of your life just as you want. But right now we have something good going, and I don’t see anyone holding a gun to your head and making you fill in a time sheet.’
‘But—I don’t know...’ What the hell could she say to that? She was discombobulated by him. His kisses made her feel dizzy and stopped any kind of rational thought process—but he was only suggesting a little play. She could do that. Hell, Cameron spent most of her life playing...
His hand smoothed across the nape of her neck. ‘There’s not much of today left. Tomorrow we’re booked up all day at the set and then the wrap dinner. That leaves us a few hours now...private and personal hours where we can do what the hell we like. I’ve seen plenty of Nassau, but nowhere near enough of your bedroom. Now, you can either give me a sightseeing tour or I can go to bed on my own. Personally, I think that would be a big mistake.’
Lola didn’t like making mistakes. Plus, he was the sexiest man she’d ever seen. What a waste if she walked away from that, from crazy commitment-free fun in paradise.
As he drew her closer Lola decided not to think any more. She wasn’t going to ruin it by worrying, she was going to go with her gut. So she let him lead her into the bedroom and lay her down, relished the press of his heat and the safety of living in the moment with no regard for what tomorrow would bring.
* * *
‘Hey, Jake! Dr Jake, come talk to Alfredo. He’s got a problem with his gall bladder. Needs advice.’ Cameron Fontaine was nothing but enthusiastic about using all Jake’s talents when she wanted to; she just also dodged any direct questioning or personal one-to-one conversations.
The day had started with her personally checking up on Lola and insisting on hearing a rundown of the jellyfish barb removal all over again, in full detail. Then interspersing scene takes with chatter about healthy eating—he’d guessed that was for her own benefit, though. She’d asked pointed questions without referring to herself or a pregnancy or maternal diet. And damn if she kept herself surrounded by people.
The crowded tapas bar overlooked a marina and some of the cast and crew spilled out dockside, a few of them sitting out on one of the launches. Alfredo and Cameron were waving and shouting to them. He sauntered over. ‘Alfredo, Cameron.’
‘Honey, I’m going to join those reprobates over there for a little cruise around the harbour. Alfredo needs you for one second, then he’s coming with me.’ Cameron gave him an air kiss. ‘Tell Lola I’ll need a call at five. Be good, you two. Sleep well.’
Not so fast. He followed her a step or two and tried to get her attention. ‘Cameron, I need to talk with you, privately. Now.’
He doubted anyone had spoken to her like that before. Her smile faltered as she pressed her palm on her belly over her floaty dress, her voice low. ‘Yes, honey, I know you know... But not here, or now—too many spies. Later, tomorrow... No, we’re travelling. Wednesday? I’m back on set on Wednesday. Yes, Wednesday in my trailer.’
‘Now works better for me.’
‘No can do. Got to keep on top of things here. I have a boat to catch. It’s worked out just fine, though? Yes? Our little secret?’ With a grand flourish she gave him a second chaste air kiss. ‘Ciao.’
Jake really preferred it when he had his patients safely in the clinic environment, they were a lot less likely to run out on him—and he could at least get a word in.
Oblivious to the celebrity gossip story of the year playing out under his nose, Alfredo caught him up and shook his hand. ‘Jake, I do not want to spoil your night with my medical issues—besides, business is finished for the day. But I would like to say how impressed I’ve been with you. An inside view on how anti-gravity affects the brain was terrific for us to play up the confusion, ramp up the effects and the emotion today. Just great. And the way you dealt with that arm injury was very impressive. Who’d have thought you could make a splint out of a rolled-up pair of trousers? Tell James I’ll be sure to recommend the clinic, and specifically you, to anyone who needs a medic.’
‘Thank you. James will be pleased.’ Jake wasn’t sure he was. If he’d been in any doubt at all, he was now convinced he didn’t want to be a film medic or a secret obstetrician. He wanted to be a neurosurgeon and left in peace to get on with it. Although he had to admit he’d enjoyed today, interspersed as it had been with minor emergencies anyone with a small amount of first-aid knowledge could have dealt with. And at least Alfredo and the rest of the crew were normal human beings, even if Cameron was in a league of her own.
Mostly, he’d enjoyed last night and this morning...waking up with Lola. That had been a revelation.
The aging director gave a weary sigh. ‘I’d better go join our leading lady... Wish me luck.’
‘You’re going to need it. Oh—and if you do need a decent gastro surgeon, just ask. I can make a few calls.’
And now what? Jake turned to see Lola sitting at a table with the location production assistant and a couple from Set Dec. They were laughing at something she was saying, her russet hair highlighted in the subdued lighting, her creamy skin illuminated and clear.
But for him nothing was clear at all—his head was awash with fresh memories of her curves, her kisses, her soft moans. Cameron had given her the pick of the Evelyn Rice dresses and she’d chosen a silk blue one that elevated her to the star of tonight’s dinner. Hell, he was surrounded by Hollywood royalty and he didn’t care. In fact, he was supposed to be working and his mind was not on his job. Which was, what? First time ever?
So he was in trouble and he didn’t know what the hell to do about it.
He waited a few beats as the storm inside him died down, then strolled over. ‘Hey.’
‘Hi, Doc. We were just about to leave. Early flight and all that...’ Lola smiled and stood, her eyes fixing on his. Memories of last night, of her body and what was underneath that dress intensified and reverberated between them, and he wished the rest of the crew would just disappear and leave them alone.
‘Cameron’s gone on a harbour cruise, she won’t be back for a while. Fancy a walk back to the lodge? We could go along the beach.’
‘Okay, yes. Why not?’ She said her goodbyes to the team and they headed outside. The rhythmic lapping of waves soothed them into a silence as they made their way down the wooden steps to the beach.
He steadied her as she took her shoes off. ‘Be careful with that ankle.’
‘I’m fine, really. The hydrocortisone ointment helped a lot. I haven’t felt like I wanted to scratch the whole limb off for a good few hours now.’
‘That’s good. I’m not sure how you’d manage walking three tearaway dogs with one leg.’
‘Oh, I’d manage.’
‘Sure you would.’ He slipped an arm around her shoulder and they walked along slowly, sinking into the soft white sand with every step. ‘Good day?’
‘Oh, yes. I caught up on everything I needed to do. Thank goodness.’ Her hand snaked round his waist and she slid it into the back pocket of his shorts, then rested her head against his shoulder. The air was fresh and clean and it felt good to just be out in the elements, talking about something and nothing with Lola. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d done that with a woman. He couldn’t remember the last woman to enthral him so much—but there was something he was missing. A piece of that jigsaw that had come unstuck. Judging by her extreme reaction to almost being caught having sex, there was more to Lola’s story, but she was keeping tight-lipped about it.
She smiled up at him. ‘So, Cameron did just fine with the dream scenes, don’t you think?’
‘Sure.’ He hadn’t noticed. ‘How much filming is left?’
‘Once we get back there’re some night shoots, then it moves into post-production and we move on. Cameron’s got a month or so before she starts rehearsals for her next film, which is a big cowboy saga.’
‘Involving horse-riding, I imagine?’ Jake huffed out a breath. At some point the woman was going to have to embrace it and announce her pregnancy, and then the correct safety measures could be put in place for her. Again, no issues with horse-riding in pregnancy, but that kind of activity carried a risk and she needed to know what it was. And so did her co-stars and director.
Lola smiled. ‘Yes. Why?’
‘No reason. Just wondering. One day it’s space, the next it’s the Wild West...I don’t know how you do it.’
‘It’s exciting. No two days are the same.’ Lola’s smile distracted him from his work thoughts. ‘Glad you’re leaving all this madness soon?’
‘Yes. And no. I have a full clinic the day after we get back and surgery booked the day after that, and I have to fit visits to the set in between times. Night shoots will work well and shouldn’t disrupt anything at the clinic. Who needs sleep?’
‘See? You’re getting into the swing of this life.’ She gave him a little nudge in the ribs with her elbow, her voice soft. ‘But tomorrow we’re back to reality.’
‘We always knew it would happen.’
‘Yes. I just didn’t expect...’ She came to a stop and gazed out at the ocean. A bright moon lit up the surface and he remembered swimming with the dolphins. The ocean kiss. The way he’d tried, and failed, to keep away from her—for what? Looking back, being with her had been inevitable. She sounded wistful. ‘I didn’t expect for so much to happen here.’
His chest suddenly tightened. ‘You could always come back some time.’
‘It wouldn’t be the same.’ She turned and gave him a knowing look—and, yes, he was expert at avoiding intimate conversation, but they both knew what this was, and what it wasn’t. Neither of them needed a complication in their real lives. ‘These things never are, are they? A good rule is to never go back to a place if you’ve had the best fun there—you’re just chasing a dream and it’s never as good the second time round. Having said that, my mum would love it here. It’s exactly what she needs. City life is all very well, but this is so peaceful everyone should come here once in their lives. I’m going to email her about it. Maybe she could bring my sister and I could meet them here. Family vacation.’
‘You’re close? You and your sister? You’ve never mentioned her.’
‘Oh, you know, as close as you can be when you live thousands of miles apart. She’s three years older than me, a teacher, like my dad. We’re just a regular two-point-four family.’
He wondered what that felt like. There’d been so much pressure on him as an only child. He’d been everything in his parents’ lives. At times it had been too much and he’d become so frustrated that they’d poured all their hopes and dreams into him.
The guilt started to bite.
‘Yeah. Dad would love it here too.’ He tried not to give in to the familiar spiral of bleakness at the thought of his father. The tight clench of his gut was visceral and instinctive. He breathed in deeply again... It seemed tonight was all about the sharp clutch in his chest and the sinking feeling in his belly whichever way he turned.
Lola linked her arm through his with a breezy smile. ‘Then make it happen. Bring them. We could have a family reunion. Actually, no. Forget I said that. It would be weird. But bring them. A holiday of a lifetime.’
‘It wouldn’t be the same.’ He kissed her neck, hoping she understood what he meant without putting his heart on his sleeve. If she hadn’t been here it would have been a very dull...what had she called it? A very dull jolly. ‘Dad’s not great at going on vacation.’
‘Like his son?’
‘This is hardly a vacation. And...’
She nudged him to continue. ‘And what?’
‘Ah, nothing.’ This was private stuff...something he didn’t usually share with other people.
‘Something, I think, or you wouldn’t have gone all quiet and moody. Talk to me, Jake. It’s our last night here.’
‘And spoil it with my stuff? I don’t think so.’
She stared out at the ocean again. ‘All that out there, so vast and wide... And all this in here...’ She prodded his chest. ‘All caught up in a tight ball of hurt. Whatever it is, let it go.’
‘Are those drugs still affecting your brain?’ He tried to laugh, but it didn’t come out right. And she was here and, well, hell...she was here, and something about that made it easier for him to think and to speak. He followed her gaze out to sea. ‘He’s sick, Lola. Very. He can’t travel far, he needs oxygen to help him breathe. It’s hard to travel with a tank by your side, and wheelchair access is terrible everywhere—his excuse, not mine. I keep telling him nothing’s impossible, but he doesn’t listen. That’s half his problem. He’s a stubborn old coot.’
‘That’s where you get it from, then.’ Holding his hand tightly, she tugged him to sit down on the sand with her. ‘I’m sorry he’s sick, Jake.’
And the guilt rolled and rolled through him. ‘I’m trying to get him the best treatment, arranged plenty of appointments, but he won’t come to the city—says he has everything he needs in Van Nuys. He’s used to the doctors there and likes his home comforts. I know he could do better with my colleagues. He just won’t listen.’ He was going to die and everything Jake had been trying to do would be futile.
She stroked down his back. ‘What’s wrong with him?’
‘COPD. Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. He’s a chronic asthmatic, and a few years ago he got a serious lung infection too. He was really sick, but the stubborn old goat didn’t get help until it was almost too late.’
‘That must have been scary for you all.’
Jake’s chest was sore as he remembered the phone call at med school. His mother’s shaking voice. The plummeting of his gut. His father on life support. He was like that because of me.
‘He’d been working two jobs to pay my college fees. Said a good father wouldn’t see his son facing huge bills, so instead of going to the doctor he carried on working. My mom worked shifts back then, so she didn’t see him much and didn’t realise how sick he was getting. He nearly didn’t make it. Since then things haven’t improved much. His lungs are fragile and vulnerable to infection. He had to give up those two jobs, now he’s housebound, depressed and cantankerous with not much left to look forward to. Mom gave up work to care for him.’
‘And you think it’s your fault?’
‘He did all that for me, pressed on for me, worked himself too hard for me. There’s a common denominator there and it’s got my name on it. Wouldn’t you feel guilty?’
‘Oh, yes.’ She leaned her head on his shoulder. ‘I know why you would, believe me.’
‘Why?’
She waved her hand, blinking fast. ‘Oh...I just imagine I would too. I can see why you’d want to help, to fix it. But he chose to do those things, Jake. He chooses not to get the right help. And sometimes you just can’t fix everything.’
Guilt turned into frustration and he edged away from her, wanting some space. She didn’t need this stuff in her life. ‘I’ve paid him back, every cent. Doubled. I send them cash every month for bills, for anything they need, but it just accumulates in a bank account they won’t touch. He won’t accept my help. Says it’s a father’s work to help out a son and not the other way round. He’s too darned proud.’
‘And you try to pay him back by working just as hard as he did? Harder? Now I understand why you’re so dedicated, so driven. It’s not about the job, it’s about your dad. About being good enough, about being worth the sacrifice? If you’re so fixed on him getting the money back, go and see him and try to convince him to take it, face-to-face.’
The weight of it all hung heavily on his shoulders. ‘You think I haven’t? Over and over again until I just gave up trying. He won’t take it. If he did he’d believe he’d failed as a parent, as a man.’
Her eyes never left his as she shook her head. ‘Then just go see him and talk, Jake. Tell him that you love him, that you’re grateful for what he did—not angry. No pressure, no money talk. Just see him. That’s all he’ll want. To know that you’ve turned out to be a good man—that everything he did was worth it. Put the anger aside and give him your gratitude. Tell him how you feel.’
‘He knows how I feel.’
‘Are you sure? I’m no expert—really, I don’t do family dynamics well. But dig deeper, Jake.’
‘It’s not as if I haven’t tried, Lola. But every damned time I go I get so angry with them we have an argument. I know he could be better cared for, I know he could have a better life and I can’t watch him waste away when I can help.’ He heard the reactive anger in his voice and tried to dampen it, but failed. And if he looked closely inside himself, Jake knew those visits were difficult because of things he said and felt, not necessarily his parents. The sad truth was, it was easier to bury himself in work than it was to try to fix things back at home.
Not wanting to talk about that any more, he turned to her. ‘When we go back—’
‘No. Don’t talk about going back,’ Lola interrupted in a whisper, and reached for him. ‘Don’t talk about what’s going to happen.’
‘Things will change.’
‘Hush. Don’t break the spell.’ She circled her arms around his neck and pulled him to lie with her. The white sand was soft beneath his body, a warm breeze floated over them and for many moments he just looked at her and marvelled at how one person could soothe away the anger. She had a way of seeing inside him, of looking for the good in him and making that good come out, no problem at all. She made smoothing over things with his family seem possible. Within reach.
She traced her finger over his lips. ‘Can you hear the waves? Can you see that sky? A million stars. A billion.’ She laughed. ‘A billion trillion. Oh, I don’t know, I’m no good at maths.
‘Let’s celebrate that, Jake. Let’s not allow anyone or anything to spoil tonight. Reality’s for tomorrow. Okay? I want you. Let’s make right now perfect.’
The kiss she gave him was more than he deserved, more than he could ever have imagined. Sweet, slow and giving until the frustration and the anger and all thoughts of his father and the differences between Lola and himself drifted away.
It was a long time before she let go, but when she did there was renewed heat in her eyes. She wanted him. Here. The glittering in her eyes was golden, rich and warm. And the current in the air seemed to be supercharged with need. She reached for his shirt buttons and began to slip them open.
And there was no more talking as he bent to kiss her again. He slipped his hand underneath her top and started to explore the curves and dips that he had come to know so well in such a short space of time. They had all night on a deserted beach underneath a canopy of stars in a midnight sky. She wanted perfection, and he aimed to give her exactly that. Before she started talking time sheets again and before he dipped out of her life. Like he’d promised to do.
Sometimes promises came at a cost. He just hadn’t expected this one to be so high.