I promised that I’d meet Eos in the Moonflower Meadow just before the dawn ended. Hurrying through the forest, I tried to keep a good distance between me and Helios, not wanting anyone to see us together. It was bad enough that he visited me during the night; I couldn’t be seen with him in daylight.
But set in his ways, Helios followed me and never once pulled his fiery gaze away. I could still feel his lips all over my body from last night, seared into my skin, singeing me in all the right places. Yet being burned by Helios didn’t hurt, or maybe I just liked the pain too much.
Maybe, one day, this pain would be the death of me… and I’d accept it.
Eos stood at the edge of the meadow, cradling a rogue’s snout in her hands. Helios’s flaming chariot was perched a few yards away. When she saw me, she said a few words to it in latin and skipped over to me, looping her arm around mine. “Where have you been? I’ve been waiting for you.”
My lips curled into a smile, almost immediately. “Enjoying the dawn,” I said.
It was both the truth and a lie.
She pulled me over to where she was playing with the wolf and picked up a crown made of glowing white moonflowers. “This is for you.” She fixed it on my head and bit her bottom lip. “It looks so good on you! I know these flowers don’t survive in the Underworld, but I thought it’d be cute for you to wear it while you’re here. You’re always complaining that Erebus doesn’t let you bring any Underworld jewelry here.”
Helios walked out from the woods, his eyes flickering to us. “Good morning, Eos.”
Eos looked over, brow arched. “Not going to say goodmorning to Nyx too?”
“She’s had a good morning already,” Helios said, climbing into his chariot and hanging over the edge.
Eos scrunched up her nose and waved him off. “It’s too early for your dirty comments about my best friend. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
After glancing over at me for another moment, he pulled on his horses’ reins. They took off into the air, lighting up the morning sky. I stared at him, my lips curling into a smile. Maybe one day when Erebus was busy I’d take a ride with him, let myself be free for a few moments, feel the wind in my hair, his arms curled around me, happiness.
Eos gently nudged my shoulder. “What’s going on with you and my brother?” she asked, such innocence in her voice. I wondered how someone who could seem so pure would have a brother with such a dirty, filthy mouth and why that person would ever want to be friends with me: a monster from the Underworld.
Everyone knew that the gods from Erebus’s Kingdom were evil, selfish, savage liars. And we were. I was too… I just tried not to be that way when I was here in the Sanguine Wilds. I wanted to see what a normal life was like, but I’d never be normal.
Sneaking around with Helios wasn’t normal. It was beyond selfish, extremely inconsiderate. Loving the sun when you’re nothing but the dark had consequences. But was it love? If I truly loved him, I’d stay away knowing that the day Erebus found out, he’d drag him to the Underworld.
Maybe that’s what I wanted.
That way, he’d always be with me.
“Hello?” Eos said, waving a moonflower up at me. She sat in a small clear patch of grass. “Are you daydreaming about him now?” She scrunched up her nose. “You know what? I don’t even want to know.”
I let out a laugh and sat down with her. “No, I wasn’t.”
Lie.
I kept lying about him.
I kept lying to protect him.
Cheeks flushed, I rolled onto my stomach and sniffed the moonflowers in the meadow, inhaling the scent of wolves and rogues who probably laid with Eos last night. I kicked my legs back and forth, heat warming my core at just the mere thought of last night.
Eos closed her eyes and hummed slightly. A rogue wolf appeared in the distance, walking over to us and resting his head in her lap. She stroked its fur, and I wondered if Eos would have the same effect on hounds in the Underworld.
Hounds were ruthless wolf-like beasts, sometimes three-headed, sometimes two, mostly one, with an innate instinct to rip people apart. Some even thought that—under an evil leader—hounds could kill a god.
Without many people sacrificing and worshiping us in this day and age, the gods had gotten much weaker. Nobody knew what could really happen. Was immortality still a thing when nobody cared so much about us? Some time ago, gods whispered about an immortal dying. But it was just a rumor. I made sure everyone thought it was just a rumor.
“Oh, come on,” Eos said, her icey-white hair blowing in the breeze. Almost everyone in her family had that same striking hair color. “You know that I know about you two. I hide you two. I can see it in his eyes every time I mention your name. Is it still just flirting or is there more?”
“Eos,” I said, voice sharp. “Please, not now.”
She stroked the wolf’s fur and watched it blissfully close its eyes. “Fine, I’ll tell you about my love life, whether you want to hear about it or not.” Curling a finger around a strand of her hair, she grinned.
I sat up, gaze focused on her. She knew I wanted to hear it. All the gods loved gossip.
“Okay, promise that you won’t tell anyone.”
“You know me, Eos.” I smiled at her. “I wouldn’t do that.”
“Well, you know, Astraeus has been trying to get with me forever. He’s so annoying”—She rolled her eyes, then grasped my hand—“but he’s so damn cute! Oh my gosh! I finally decided to give him a shot again. We spent the entire day one day last week just staring up at the sky and clouds, and then I got him to watch the wolves run during the dusk with me!”
“Did you guys…” I asked, raising my brows.
Her cheeks flushed, and she stuffed her face into her hands—letting out another divine laugh. “He was amazing,” she said, fanning herself. “Same as he was thousands of years ago. He was just as I remember him.”
I smiled at her. “I totally forgot you got with him before. Why’d you guys part ways?”
Her smile turned into a frown almost instantly. “Hella,” she said, the goddess’s name coming off her lips like daggers. “Hella has a thing for him. He doesn’t like her back. I didn’t want to get into the drama back then.”
She paused for the slightest moment. “I’m afraid she’s going to start acting crazy again. She’s killed mortals who’ve slept with him before…” Glancing down at the wolf in her lap, she swallowed hard. “And the wolves have been getting more rowdy lately, as if they can sense their hound relatives in the Underworld.”
“Eos, you know that—”
A young girl ran through the forest, watching us from behind an oak tree. She approached us slowly and eyed Eos. I recognized her as a child from one of the gods who lived in the Underworld. “Erebus is looking for you, Nyx,” she said, eyes darkening when they met mine.
Erebus.
My breath caught in the back of my throat at the mere mention of his name, yet I nodded so I didn’t show her the deep fear I had for my own brother. “Thank you.”
When she disappeared into the forest, I stood. Eos stood beside me, giving me a trying smile. She knew how aggressive, angry, and violent Erebus could get; I had come crying to her too many times when we were young. Now… I just didn’t mention him to her and didn’t mention her to him.
He never liked that she was my friend. He hated that Helios was her brother.
“Will you be okay?” she asked. “You can stay with me, if you don’t feel safe.”
I forced a smile on my face. “I’ll be fine.”
Lie.
Thoughts and questions buzzed around in my head. What if Erebus found out about us? What if he already knew about me and Helios? Was he going to blow up on me about it, tell me again that only him and I were meant to be together forever and ever?
When I returned to our estate in Erebus’s Kingdom, I found Erebus ambling out of our coal-black pool, thick inky water streaming down his taut body. Hella sat with her feet dipped into the darkness and a full glass of wine in her hand. Surrounded by long black braids, the left half of her face was covered in ancient plum-colored symbols, her eye completely white except the red ring around the edge. Yet the right half of her face was softer and almost mortal-like.
I tensed when I saw them together. What was she doing here?
“Nyx,” Hella said, plum lips curled into a smirk.
“Hella,” I said, cutting my gaze to Erebus. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”
Erebus dragged a towel across his muscular chest and gestured to sit on an ash-covered deck chair. “Excuse my sister,” Erebus said to Hella. “She’s been cranky ever since the last night we’d spent together.”
I curled my hands into fists behind my back and forced a smile on my face. I hated Hella almost as much as Erebus loved me. She gave me the same forced smile back and stood. “No worries,” she said, voice like a snake. “I have some concerns.”
“What kind?”
“You’ve been spending a lot of time above,” she said to me. My entire body tensed. Oh Gods and Goddesses, did she know about me and Helios? She smirked. “What’s that about?”
I parted my lips to speak, yet no words would come out. What could I say to something like that? I didn’t have an excuse. I had been up there longer than I needed to because of Helios. I dug my fingers into my palms so hard that I drew black blood.
“I’ve been spending time with Eos,” I said.
Lie.
“But she’s been spending time with Astreaus, hasn’t she?” Hella asked.
I licked my lips, heart hammering in my chest. She wanted information about Eos and Astreaus, not me… I just had to give it to her, so Erebus wouldn’t get suspicious about my whereabouts.
“Yes.” I nodded. “She’s been seeing him for a while now.”
Hella’s lips curled into an ugly snarl. “Disgusting bitch with her claws in my lover,” she said under her breath. When she turned back to me, I couldn’t stop myself from telling her everything that I knew. I couldn’t let anyone be suspicious about Helios.