Remind yourself once again that you are not pulled to high levels of success. Rather, you are lifted there by those working beside and below you.
Achieving high-level success requires the support and the cooperation of others. And gaining this support and cooperation of others requires leadership ability. Success and the ability to lead others—that is, getting them to do things they wouldn’t do if they were not led—go hand in hand.
The success-producing principles explained in the previous chapters are valuable equipment in helping you develop your leadership capacity. At this point we want to master four special leadership rules or principles that can cause others to do things for us in the executive suite, in business, in social clubs, in the home, anywhere we find people.
These four leadership rules or principles are:
1. Trade minds with the people you want to influence.
2. Think: What is the human way to handle this?
3. Think progress, believe in progress, push for progress.
4. Take time out to confer with yourself and develop your supreme thinking power.
Practicing these rules produces results. Putting them to use in everyday situations takes the mystery out of that gold-plated word, leadership.
Let’s see how.
Trading minds with the people you want to influence is a magic way to get others—friends, associates, customers, employees—to act the way you want them to act. Study these two case histories and see why.
Ted B. worked as a television copywriter and director for a large advertising agency. When the agency obtained a new account, a children’s shoe manufacturer, Ted was assigned responsibility for developing several TV commercials.
A month or so after the campaign had been launched, it became clear that the advertising was doing little or nothing to increase “product movement” in retail outlets. Attention was focused on the TV commercials, because in most cities only television advertising was used.
Through research of television viewers, they found that about 4 percent of the people thought it was simply a great commercial, “one of the best,” these 4 percent said.
The remaining 96 percent were either indifferent to the commercials or, in plain language, thought they “smelled.” Hundreds of comments like these were volunteered: “It’s wacky. The rhythm sounds like a New Orleans band at 3 A.M.” “My kids like to watch most TV commercials, but when that shoe thing comes on they go to the bathroom or refrigerator.” “I think it’s too uppity up.” “Seems to me someone’s trying to be too clever.”
Something especially interesting turned up when all the interviews were put together and analyzed. The 4 percent who liked the commercial were people pretty much like Ted in terms of income, education, sophistication, and interests. The remaining 96 percent were definitely in a different socioeconomic class.
Ted’s commercials, which cost a lot of money, flopped because Ted thought only of his own interests. He had prepared the commercials thinking of the way he buys shoes, not the way the great majority buys shoes. He developed commercials that pleased him personally, not commercials that pleased the great bulk of the people.
The results would have been much different had Ted projected himself into the minds of the masses of ordinary people and asked himself two questions: “If I were a parent, what kind of a commercial would make me want to buy those shoes?” “If I were a child, what kind of a commercial would make me go tell my Mom or Dad that I want those shoes?”
Why Joan Failed in Retailing
Joan is an intelligent, well-educated, attractive girl of twenty-four. Fresh from college, Joan got a job as an assistant buyer in ready-to-wear goods at a low-to-medium-priced department store. She came highly recommended. “Joan has ambition, talent, and enthusiasm,” one letter said. “She is certain to succeed in a big way.”
But Joan did not succeed in a “big way.” Joan lasted only eight months and then quit retailing for other work.
I knew her buyer well, and one day I asked him what happened.
“Joan is a fine girl, and she has many fine qualities,” he said. “But she had one major limitation.”
“What was that?” I asked.
“Well, Joan was forever buying merchandise that she liked but most of our customers didn’t. She selected styles, colors, materials, and prices she liked without putting herself in the shoes of the people who shop here. When I’d suggest to her that maybe a certain line wasn’t right for us, she’d say, ‘Oh, they’ll love this. I do. I think this will move fast.’
“Joan had been brought up in a well-to-do home. She had been educated to want quality. Price was not important to her. Joan just couldn’t see clothing through the eyes of low-to-middle-income people. So the merchandise she bought just wasn’t suitable.”
The point is this: To get others to do what you want them to do, you must see things through their eyes. When you trade minds, the secret of how to influence other people effectively shows up. A very successful salesman friend told me he spends a lot of time anticipating how prospects will react to his presentation before he gives it. Trading minds with the audience helps the speaker design a more interesting, harder-hitting talk. Trading minds with employees helps the supervisor provide more effective, better received instructions.
A young credit executive explained to me how this technique worked for him.
“When I was brought into this store [a medium-sized clothing store] as assistant credit manager, I was assigned the job of handling all collection correspondence. The collection letters the store had been using greatly disappointed me. They were strong, insulting, and threatening. I read them and thought, ‘Brother, I’d be mad as hell if somebody sent me letters like these. I never would pay.’ So I just got to work and started writing the kind of letter that would move me to pay an overdue bill if I received it. It worked. By putting myself in the shoes of the overdue customer, so to speak, collections climbed to a record high.”
Numerous political candidates lose elections because they fail to look at themselves through the minds of the typical voters. One political candidate for a national office, apparently fully as qualified as his opponent, lost by a tremendous margin for one single reason. He used a vocabulary that only a small percentage of the voters could understand.
His opponent, on the other hand, thought in terms of the voters’ interests. When he talked to farmers, he used their language. When he spoke to factory workers, he used words they were easily familiar with. When he spoke on TV, he addressed himself to Mr. Typical Voter, not to Dr. College Professor.
Keep this question in mind: “What would I think of this if I exchanged places with the other person?” It paves the way to more successful action.
Thinking of the interests of the people we want to influence is an excellent thought rule in every situation. A few years ago a small electronics manufacturer developed a fuse that would never blow out. The manufacturer priced the product to sell for $1.25 and then retained an advertising agency to promote it.
The account executive placed in charge of the advertising immediately became intensely enthusiastic. His plan was to blanket the country with mass advertising on TV, radio, and newspapers. “This is it,” he said. “We’ll sell ten million the first year.” His advisers tried to caution him, explaining that fuses are not a popular item, they have no romantic appeal, and people want to get by as cheaply as possible when they buy fuses. “Why not,” the advisors said, “use selected magazines and sell it to the high income levels?”
They were overruled, and the mass campaign was under way, only to be called off in six weeks because of “disappointing results.”
The trouble was this: the advertising executive looked at the high-priced fuses with his eyes, the eyes of a high-income person. He failed to see the product through the eyes of the mass market income levels. Had he put himself in their position, he would have seen the wisdom of directing the promotion toward the upper income groups and the account would have been saved.
Develop your power to trade minds with the people you want to influence. The exercises below will help.
| SITUATION | FOR BEST RESULTS, ASK YOURSELF |
| 1. Giving someone work instructions | “Looking at this from the viewpoint of someone who is new to this, have I made myself clear?” |
| 2. Writing an advertisement | “If I were a typical prospective buyer, how would I react to this ad?” |
| 3. Telephone manners | “If I were the other person, what would I think of my telephone voice and manners?” |
| 4. Gift | “Is this gift something I would like, or is it something he will like?” (often there is an enormous difference) |
| 5. The way I give orders | “Would I like to carry out orders if they were given to me the way I give them to others?” |
| 6. Child discipline | “If I were the child—considering his age, experience, and emotions—how would I react to this discipline?” |
| 7. My appearance | “What would I think of my superior if he were dressed like me?” |
| 8. Preparing a speech | “Considering the background and interests of the audience, what would I think of this remark?” |
| 9. Entertainment | “If I were my guests, what kinds of food, music, and entertainment would I like best?” |
Put the trading minds principle to work for you
1. Consider the other person’s situation. Put yourself in his shoes, so to speak. Remember, his interests, income, intelligence, and background may differ considerably from yours.
2. Now ask yourself, “If I were in his situation, how would I react to this?” (Whatever it is you want him to do.)
3. Then take the action that would move you if you were the other person.
People use different approaches to leadership situations. One approach is to assume the position of a dictator. The dictator makes all decisions without consulting those affected. He refuses to hear his subordinates’ side of a question because, down deep perhaps, he’s afraid the subordinate might be right and this would cause him to lose face.
Dictators don’t last long. Employees may fake loyalty for a while, but unrest soon develops. Some of the best employees leave, and those remaining get together and plot against the tyrant. The result is that the organization ceases to function smoothly. This puts the dictator in a bad light with his superior.
A second leadership technique is the cold, mechanical, I’m-a-rule-book-operator approach. The fellow using this approach handles everything exactly according to the book. He doesn’t recognize that every rule or policy or plan is only a guide for the usual cases. This would-be leader treats human beings as machines. And of all things people don’t like, perhaps the most disliked is being treated like a machine. The cold, impersonal efficiency expert is not an ideal. The “machines” that work for him develop only part of their energy.
Persons who rise to tremendous leadership heights use a third approach that we call “Being Human.”
Several years ago I worked closely with John S., who is an executive in the engineering development section of a large aluminum manufacturer. John had mastered the “be-human” approach and was enjoying its rewards. In dozens of little ways John made his actions say, “You are a human being. I respect you. I’m here to help you in every way I can.”
When an individual from another city joined his department, John went to considerable personal inconvenience to help him find suitable housing.
Working through his secretary and two other women employees, he set up office birthday parties for each member of the staff. The thirty minutes or so required for this was not a cost; rather, it was an investment in getting loyalty and output.
When he learned that one of his staff members belonged to a minority faith, John called him in and explained that he would arrange for him to observe his religious holidays that don’t coincide with the more common holidays.
When an employee or someone in the employee’s family was ill, John remembered. He took time to compliment his staff individually for their off-the-job accomplishments.
But the largest evidence of John’s be-human philosophy showed up in the way he handled a dismissal problem. One of the employees who had been hired by John’s predecessor simply lacked the aptitude and interest for the work involved. John handled the problem magnificently. He did not use the conventional procedure of calling the employee into his office and giving him, first, the bad news and then, second, fifteen or thirty days to move out.
Instead, he did two unusual things. First, he explained why it would be to the employee’s personal advantage to find a new situation where his aptitudes and interests would be more useful. He worked with the employee and put him in touch with a reputable vocational guidance consultant. Next, he did something else above and beyond the call of duty. He helped the employee find a new job by setting up interviews with executives in other companies where the employee’s skills were needed. In just eighteen days after the “dismissal” conference the employee was relocated in a very promising situation.
This dismissal procedure intrigued me, so I asked John to explain his thinking behind it. He explained it this way: “There’s an old maxim I’ve formed and held in my mind,” he began. “Whoever is under a man’s power is under his protection, too. We never should have hired this man in the first place because he’s not cut out for this kind of work. But since we did, the least I could do was help him to relocate.
“Anybody,” John continued, “can hire a man. But the test of leadership is how one handles the dismissal. By helping that employee relocate before he left us built up a feeling of job security in everyone in my department. I let them know by example that no one gets dumped on the street as long as I’m here.”
Make no mistake. John’s be-human brand of leadership paid off. There were no secret gossip sessions about John. He received unquestioned loyalty and support. He had maximum job security because he gave maximum job security to his subordinates.
For about fifteen years I’ve been close to a fellow I’ll call Bob W. Bob is in his late fifties. He came up the hard way. With a hit-or-miss education and no money, Bob found himself out of work in 1931. But he’s always been a scrambler. Not one to be idle, Bob started an upholstery shop in his garage. Thanks to his untiring efforts, the business grew, and today it’s a modern furniture manufacturing plant with over three hundred employees.
Today Bob is a millionaire. Money and material things have ceased to be a concern. But Bob is rich in other ways too. He’s a millionaire in friends, contentment, and satisfaction.
Of Bob’s many fine qualities, his tremendous desire to help other people stands out. Bob is human and he’s a specialist in treating others the way human beings want to be treated.
One day Bob and I were discussing the matter of criticizing people. Bob’s human way of doing it is a master formula. Here’s the way he put it. “I don’t think you could find anybody who would say I’m a softie or a weakling. I run a business. When something isn’t going right, I fix it. But it’s the way I fix it—that’s important. If employees are doing something wrong or are making a mistake, I am doubly careful not to hurt their feelings and make them feel small or embarrassed. I just use four simple steps:
“First, I talk to them privately.
“Second, I praise them for what they are doing well.
“Third, I point out the one thing at the moment that they could do better and I help them find the way.
“Fourth, I praise them again on their good points.
“And this four-step formula works. When I do it this way, people thank me because I’ve found that’s exactly the way they like it. When they walk out of this office, they have been reminded that they are not only pretty good, they can be even better.
“I’ve been betting on people all my life,” Bob says. “And the better I treat them, the more good things happen to me. I honestly don’t plan it that way. That’s just the way it works out.
“Let me give you an example. Back about, oh, five or six years ago, one of the production men came to work drunk. Pretty soon there was a commotion in the plant. It seems this fellow had taken a five-gallon can of lacquer and was splashing it all over the place. Well, the other workmen took the lacquer away from him, and the plant superintendent escorted him out.
“I walked outside and found him sitting against the building in a kind of stupor. I helped him up, put him in my car, and took him to his home. His wife was frantic. I tried to reassure her that everything would be all right. ‘Oh, but you don’t understand,’ she said. ‘Mr. W. [me] doesn’t stand for anyone being drunk on the job. Jim’s lost his job, and now what will we do?’ I told her Jim wouldn’t be dismissed. She asked how I knew. The reason, I explained, is because I’m Mr. W.
“She almost fainted. I told her I’d do all I could to help Jim at the plant and I hoped she’d do all she could at home; and just have him on the job in the morning.
“When I got back to the plant, I went down to Jim’s department and spoke to Jim’s co-workers. I told them, ‘You’ve seen something unpleasant here today, but I want you to forget it. Jim will be back tomorrow. Be kind to him. He’s been a good worker for a long time, and we owe it to him to give him another chance.’
“Jim got back on the ball, and his drinking was never again a problem. I soon forgot about the incident. But Jim didn’t. Two years ago the headquarters of the local union sent some men here to negotiate the contract for the local. They had some staggering, simply unrealistic demands. Jim—quiet, meek Jim—suddenly became a leader. He got busy and reminded the fellows in the plant that they’d always gotten a fair deal from Mr. W. and we didn’t need outsiders coming to tell us how to run our affairs.
“The outsiders left, and as usual we negotiated our contract like friends, thanks to Jim.”
Here are two ways to use the be-human approach to make you a better leader. First, each time you face a difficult matter involving people, ask yourself, “What is the human way to handle this?”
Ponder over this question when there is a disagreement among your subordinates or when an employee creates a problem.
Remember Bob W.’s formula for helping others correct their mistakes. Avoid sarcasm. Avoid being cynical. Avoid taking people down a peg or two. Avoid putting others in their place.
Ask, “What is the human way to deal with people?” It always pays—sometimes sooner, sometimes later, but it always pays.
A second way to profit from the be-human rule is to let your action show you put people first. Show interest in your subordinates’ off-the-job accomplishments. Treat everyone with dignity. Remind yourself that the primary purpose in life is to enjoy it. As a general rule, the more interest you show in a person, the more he will produce for you. And his production is what carries you forward to greater and greater success.
Praise your subordinates to your supervisor by putting in plugs for them at every opportunity. It’s an old American custom to admire the fellow who’s on the side of the little man. Your subordinates will appreciate your plugs, and their loyalty to you will grow. And do not fear that this will lower your own importance in the eyes of your supervisor. Rather, a man big enough to be humble appears more confident than the insecure man who feels compelled to call attention to his accomplishments. A little modesty goes a long way.
Praise your subordinates personally at every opportunity. Praise them for their cooperation. Praise them for every extra effort they put forth. Praise is the greatest single incentive you can give people, and it costs you nothing. Besides, a write-in vote has often overthrown a powerful, known candidate. You never know when your subordinates can do you a turn by coming to your defense.
Practice praising people.
Rub people the right way. Be human.
One of the most complimentary things anyone can say about you is “He stands for progress. He’s the man for the job.”
Promotions in all fields go to individuals who believe in—and push for—progress. Leaders, real leaders, are in short supply. Status-quo-ers (the everything’s-all-right-let’s-don’t-upset-the-apple-cart folks) far outnumber the progressives (the there’s-lots-of-room-for-improvement-let’s-get-to-work-and-do-it-better people). Join the leadership elite. Develop a forward look.
There are two special things you can do to develop your progressive outlook:
1. Think improvement in everything you do.
2. Think high standards in everything you do.
Several months ago the president of a medium-sized company asked me to help him make an important decision. This executive had built the business by himself and had been functioning as sales manager. Now, with seven salesmen employed, he decided his next step was to promote one of his salesmen to the job of sales manager. He narrowed the choice down to three, all of whom were about equal in experience and sales performance.
My assignment was to spend one day in the field with each man and then report my views on which fellow seemed to be best qualified to lead the group. Each man was told that a consultant would visit him to discuss the overall marketing program. For obvious reasons, they were not told the specific purpose of my visit.
Two of the men reacted pretty much the same way. Both were uncomfortable with me. They seemed to sense that I was there to “change things.” Each of these men was a real defender of the status quo. Both approved of the way everything was being done. I raised questions about how the territories were laid out, the compensation program, the sales promotional material—every facet of the marketing effort. But on all points, the response was always “Everything is okay.” On specific points these two men explained why the present way couldn’t and shouldn’t be changed. Summed up, both men wanted the status quo to remain the status quo. One of them said to me as he dropped me by my hotel, “I don’t know exactly why you spent the day with me, but tell Mr. M. for me that everything is okay as is. Don’t go refiguring anything.”
The third man was wonderfully different. He was pleased with the company and proud of its growth. But he was not wholly content. He wanted improvements. All day this third salesman gave me his ideas for getting new business, providing better service to customers, reducing wasted time, revising the compensation plan to give more incentive, all so that he—and the company—would make more. He had mapped out a new advertising campaign he had been thinking about. When I left him, his parting remark was “I sure appreciate the chance to tell someone about some of my ideas. We’ve got a good outfit, but I believe we can make it better.”
My recommendation, of course, was for the third man. It was a recommendation that coincided perfectly with the feelings of the company president. Believe in expansion, efficiency, new products, new processes, better schools, increased prosperity.
Believe in—and push for—progress; and you’ll be a leader!
As a youngster, I had an opportunity to see how the different thinking of two leaders can make an amazing difference in the performance of followers.
I attended a country elementary school: eight grades, one teacher, and forty children all jammed together inside four brick walls. A new teacher was always a big deal. Led by the big boys—the seventh- and eighth-graders—the pupils set out to see how much they could get away with.
One year there was little more than chaos. Every day there were dozens of the usual school pranks, “wars” of spitballs, and paper airplanes. Then there were the major incidents such as locking the teacher outside the school for half a day at a time, or on another occasion the opposite, barricading her within the building for hours. Another day each boy in the upper grades brought his dog into the schoolroom.
Let me add that these children were not delinquents. Stealing, physical violence, and deliberate harm were not their objectives. They were healthy kids conditioned by vigorous rural living and needing an outlet for their tremendous pent-up energies and ingenuities.
Well, the teacher somehow managed to stay with the school until the end of that year. To no one’s surprise, there was a new teacher the following September.
The new teacher extracted strikingly different performance from the children. She appealed to their personal pride and sense of respect. She encouraged them to develop judgment. Each child was assigned a specific responsibility like washing blackboards or cleaning erasers, or practicing paper grading for the younger grades. The new teacher found creative ways to use the energy that had been so misdirected a few months before. Her educational program was centered on building character.
Why did the children act like young devils one year and like young angels the next? The difference was the leader, their teacher. In all honesty, we cannot blame the kids for playing pranks an entire school year. In each instance the teacher set the pace.
The first teacher, deep down, didn’t care whether the children made progress. She set no goals for the children. She didn’t encourage them. She couldn’t control her temper. She didn’t like teaching, so the pupils didn’t like learning.
But the second teacher had high, positive standards. She sincerely liked the children and wanted them to accomplish much. She considered each one as an individual. She obtained discipline easily because in everything she did, she was well disciplined.
And in each case, the pupils adjusted their conduct to fit the examples set by the teachers.
We find this same form of adjustment taking place every day in adult groups. During World War II military chiefs continually observed that the highest morale was not found in units where commanders were “easy,” “relaxed,” and “lackadaisical.” Crack units were led by officers with high standards who enforced military regulations fairly and properly. Military personnel simply do not respect and admire officers with low standards.
College students, too, take their cue from the examples set by the professors. Students under one professor cut classes, copy term papers, and connive in various ways to pass without serious study. But the same students under another professor willingly work extra hard to master the subject.
In business situations we again find individuals patterning their thinking after that of the superior. Study a group of employees closely. Observe their habits, mannerisms, attitudes toward the company, ethics, self-control. Then compare what you find with the behavior of their superior, and you discover amazing similarities.
Every year many corporations that have grown sluggish and are headed downward are rebuilt. And how? By changing a handful of executives at the top. Companies (and colleges and churches and clubs and unions and all other types of organizations) are successfully rebuilt from the top down, not from the bottom up. Change the thinking at the top, and you automatically change the thinking at the bottom.
Remember this: when you take over the leadership of a group, the persons in that group immediately begin to adjust themselves to the standards you set. This is most noticeable during the first few weeks. Their big concern is to clue you in, zero you in, find out what you expect of them. They watch every move you make. They think, how much rope will he give me? How does he want it done? What does it take to please him? What will he say if I do this or that?
Once they know, they act accordingly.
Check the example you set. Use this old but ever-accurate quatrain as a guide:
What kind of world
would this world be,
If everyone in it
were just like me?
To add meaning to this self-imposed test, substitute the word company for world so it reads:
What kind of company
would this company be,
If everyone in it
were just like me?
In similar fashion, ask yourself what kind of club, community, school, church would it be if everyone in it acted like you.
Think, talk, act, live the way you want your subordinates to think, talk, act, live—and they will.
Over a period of time, subordinates tend to become carbon copies of their chief. The simplest way to get high-level performance is to be sure the master copy is worth duplicating.
Am I a Progressive Thinker? Checklist
A. Do I Think Progressively Toward My Work?
1. Do I appraise my work with the “how can we do it better?” attitude?
2. Do I praise my company, the people in it, and the products it sells at every possible opportunity?
3. Are my personal standards with reference to the quantity and quality of my output higher now than three or six months ago?
4. Am I setting an excellent example for my subordinates, associates, and others I work with?
B. Do I Think Progressively Toward My Family?
1. Is my family happier today than it was three or six months ago?
2. Am I following a plan to improve my family’s standard of living?
3. Does my family have an ample variety of stimulating activities outside the home?
4. Do I set an example of “a progressive,” a supporter of progress, for my children?
C. Do I Think Progressively Toward Myself?
1. Can I honestly say I am a more valuable person today than three or six months ago?
2. Am I following an organized self-improvement program to increase my value to others?
3. Do I have forward-looking goals for at least five years in the future?
4. Am I a booster in every organization or group to which I belong?
D. Do I Think Progressively Toward My Community?
1. Have I done anything in the past six months that I honestly feel has improved my community (neighborhood, churches, schools, etc.)?
2. Do I boost worthwhile community projects rather than object, criticize, or complain?
3. Have I ever taken the lead in bringing about some worthwhile improvement in my community?
4. Do I speak well of my neighbors and fellow citizens?
We usually picture leaders as exceptionally busy people. And they are. Leadership requires being in the thick of things. But while it’s usually overlooked, it is noteworthy that leaders spend considerable time alone, alone with nothing but their own thinking apparatus.
Check the lives of the great religious leaders, and you’ll find each of them spent considerable time alone. Moses frequently was alone, often for long periods of time. So were Jesus, Buddha, Confucius, Mohammed, Gandhi—every outstanding religious leader in history spent much time in solitude, away from the distractions of life.
Political leaders, too, those who made lasting names in history for good or bad, gained insight through solitude. It is an interesting question whether Franklin D. Roosevelt could have developed his unusual leadership capacities had he not spent much time alone while recovering from his polio attack. Harry Truman spent much time as a boy and as an adult alone on a Missouri farm.
Quite possibly Hitler would never have achieved power had he not spent months in jail alone, where he had time to construct Mein Kampf, that brilliantly wicked plan for world conquest that sold the Germans in a blind moment.
Many of the leaders of communism who proved to be so diplomatically skillful—Lenin, Stalin, Marx, and many others—spent time in jail, where they could, without distraction, plan their future moves.
Leading universities require professors to lecture as few as five hours per week so that the professor has time to think.
Many outstanding business executives are surrounded all day by assistants, secretaries, telephones, and reports. But follow them around for 168 hours a week and 720 hours a month, and you discover they spent a surprising amount of time in uninterrupted thought.
The point is this: the successful person in any field takes time out to confer with himself or herself. Leaders use solitude to put the pieces of a problem together, to work out solutions, to plan, and, in one phrase, to do their superthinking.
Many people fail to tap their creative leadership power because they confer with everybody and everything else but themselves. You know this kind of person well. He’s the fellow who goes to great lengths not to be alone. He goes to extremes to surround himself with people. He can’t stand being alone in his office, so he goes prowling to see other people. Seldom does he spend evenings alone. He feels a compelling need to talk with others every waking moment. He devours a huge diet of small talk and gossip.
When this person is forced by circumstances to be physically alone, he finds ways to keep from being mentally alone. At times like these he resorts to television, newspapers, radio, telephone, anything that will take over his thinking process for him. In effect he says, “Here, Mr. TV, Mr. Newspaper, occupy my mind for me. I’m afraid to occupy it with my own thoughts.”
Mr. I-can’t-stand-to-be-alone shuns independent thought. He keeps his own mind blacked out. He is, psychologically, scared of his own thoughts. As time goes by, Mr. I-can’t-stand-to-be-alone grows increasingly shallow. He makes many ill-considered moves. He fails to develop firmness of purpose, personal stability. He is, unfortunately, ignorant of the superpower lying unused just behind his forehead.
Don’t be a Mr. I-can’t-stand-to-be-alone. Successful leaders tap their superpower through being alone. You can, too.
Let’s see how.
As part of a professional development program I asked thirteen trainees to closet themselves for one hour each day for two weeks. The trainees were asked to shut themselves off from all distractions and think constructively about anything that came to mind.
At the end of two weeks each trainee, without exception, reported the experience proved amazingly practical and worthwhile. One fellow stated that before the managed solitude experiment he was on the verge of a sharp break with another company executive, but through clear thinking he found the source of the problem and the way to correct it. Others reported that they solved problems relating to such varied things as changing jobs, marriage difficulties, buying a home, and selecting a college for a teenage child.
Each trainee enthusiastically reported that he had gained a much better understanding of himself—his strengths and weaknesses—than he had ever had before.
The trainees also discovered something else that is tremendously significant. They discovered that decisions and observations made alone in managed solitude have an uncanny way of being 100 percent right! The trainees discovered that when the fog is lifted, the right choice becomes crystal clear.
Managed solitude pays off.
One day recently an associate of mine reversed her stand completely on a troublesome issue. I was curious to know why she had switched her thinking, since the problem was very basic. Her answer went like this. “Well, I haven’t been at all clear in my mind as to what we should do. So I got up at 3:30 this morning, fixed a cup of coffee, and just sat on the sofa and thought until 7 A.M. I see the whole matter a lot clearer now. So the only thing for me to do is reverse my stand.”
And her new stand proved completely correct.
Resolve now to set aside some time each day (at least thirty minutes) to be completely by yourself.
Perhaps early in the morning before anyone else is stirring about would be best for you. Or perhaps late in the evening would be a better time. The important thing is to select a time when your mind is fresh and when you can be free from distractions.
You can use this time to do two types of thinking: directed and undirected. To do directed thinking, review the major problem facing you. In solitude your mind will study the problem objectively and lead you to the right answer.
To do undirected thinking, just let your mind select what it wishes to think about. In moments like these your subconscious mind taps your memory bank, which in turn feeds your conscious mind. Undirected thinking is very helpful in doing self-evaluation. It helps you get down to the very basic matters like “How can I do better? What should be my next move?”
Remember, the main job of the leader is thinking. And the best preparation for leadership is thinking. Spend some time in managed solitude every day and think yourself to success.
To be a more effective leader, put these four leadership principles to work
1. Trade minds with the people you want to influence. It’s easy to get others to do what you want them to do if you’ll see things through their eyes. Ask yourself this question before you act: “What would I think of this if I exchanged places with the other person?”
2. Apply the “Be-Human” rule in your dealings with others. Ask, “What is the human way to handle this?” In everything you do, show that you put other people first. Just give other people the kind of treatment you like to receive. You’ll be rewarded.
3. Think progress, believe in progress, push for progress. Think improvement in everything you do. Think high standards in everything you do. Over a period of time subordinates tend to become carbon copies of their chief. Be sure the master copy is worth duplicating. Make this a personal resolution: “At home, at work, in community life, if it’s progress I’m for it.”
4. Take time out to confer with yourself and tap your supreme thinking power. Managed solitude pays off. Use it to release your creative power. Use it to find solutions to personal and business problems. So spend some time alone every day just for thinking. Use the thinking technique all great leaders use: confer with yourself.
There is magic in thinking big. But it is so easy to forget. When you hit some rough spots, there is danger that your thinking will shrink in size. And when it does, you lose.
Below are some brief guides for staying big when you’re tempted to use the small approach.
Perhaps you’ll want to put these guides on small cards for even handier reference.
A. When Little People Try to Drive You Down, THINK BIG
To be sure, there are some people who want you to lose, to experience misfortune, to be reprimanded. But these people can’t hurt you if you’ll remember three things:
1. You win when you refuse to fight petty people. Fighting little people reduces you to their size. Stay big.
2. Expect to be sniped at. It’s proof you’re growing.
3. Remind yourself that snipers are psychologically sick. Be Big. Feel sorry for them.
Think Big Enough to be immune to the attacks of petty people.
B. When That “I-Haven’t-Got-What-It-Takes” Feeling Creeps Up on You, THINK BIG
Remember: if you think you are weak, you are. If you think you’re inadequate, you are. If you think you’re second-class, you are.
Whip that natural tendency to sell yourself short with these tools:
1. Look important. It helps you think important. How you look on the outside has a lot to do with how you feel on the inside.
2. Concentrate on your assets. Build a sell-yourself-to-yourself commercial and use it. Learn to supercharge yourself. Know your positive self.
3. Put other people in proper perspective. The other person is just another human being, so why be afraid of him?
Think Big Enough to see how good you really are!
C. When an Argument or Quarrel Seems Inevitable, THINK BIG.
Successfully resist the temptation to argue and quarrel by:
1. Asking yourself, “Honestly now, is this thing really important enough to argue about?”
2. Reminding yourself, you never gain anything from an argument but you always lose something.
Think Big Enough to see that quarrels, arguments, feuds, and fusses will never help you get where you want to go.
D. When You Feel Defeated, THINK BIG.
It is not possible to achieve large success without hardships and setbacks. But it is possible to live the rest of your life without defeat. Big thinkers react to setbacks this way:
1. Regard the setback as a lesson. Learn from it. Research it. Use it to propel you forward. Salvage something from every setback.
2. Blend persistence with experimentation. Back off and start afresh with a new approach.
Think Big Enough to see that defeat is a state of mind, nothing more.
E. When Romance Starts to Slip, THINK BIG
Negative, petty, “She’s-(He’s)-unfair-to-me-so-I’ll-get-even” type of thinking slaughters romance, destroys the affection that can be yours. Do this when things aren’t going right in the love department:
1. Concentrate on the biggest qualities in the person you want to love you. Put little things where they belong—in second place.
2. Do something special for your mate—and do it often.
Think Big Enough to find the secret to marital joys.
F. When You Feel Your Progress on the Job Is Slowing Down, THINK BIG
No matter what you do and regardless of your occupation, higher status, higher pay come from one thing: increasing the quality and quantity of your output. Do this:
Think, “I can do better.” The best is not unattainable. There is room for doing everything better. Nothing in this world is being done as well as it could be. And when you think, “I can do better,” ways to do better will appear. Thinking “I can do better” switches on your creative power.
Think Big Enough to see that if you put service first, money takes care of itself.
In the words of Publilius Syrus:
A wise man will be master of his mind,
A fool will be its slave.