I squint past the early morning sun and pop in my earbuds—grateful that at six o’clock in the morning, it’s still cool enough to walk to my favorite coffee shop. I’m normally not one to get out of bed this early—the perk of being a video game designer who works from home—but I’m meeting my brother for coffee, and I wouldn’t dare cancel on him twice in a row. Plus, I have a meeting with my boss, and I thought that getting an earlier than usual start would help get my creative juices flowing.
With my playlist on shuffle, I weave through the streets, which are already bustling with activity, waving hello to everyone I pass. I know some, others I don’t, but the smiles and genuine friendliness are contagious.
I turn into The Busy Bean, where my older brother Calvin has promised to meet me a little later this morning.
“Hey, Janelle.” I pull out my earbuds, then stuff them into my pocket and stop at the front counter.
“Long time no see.” Janelle leans forward on the counter, giving me a clear shot down her top and a look that promises all sorts of dirty, naughty things.
Three years ago, I would’ve been flirting my way into her bed. Thanks to my dark hair, dark eyes, and five o’clock shadow that I couldn’t get rid of if I wanted to, I’ve always had my fair share of women. I didn’t sleep around a lot in college, but I sure as hell wasn’t a saint. It wasn’t until I turned twenty-three, graduated from college, and got a real job that my tastes started to change. My preferences no longer include women like Janelle, those who could promise a night of fun with no strings attached.
But, somewhere along the way, I started to want the strings—and if those strings are attached to Lizzie, that would be even better.
“Last time you were here, I slipped you my number, but you never called,” Janelle pouts, walking her fingers across the counter.
“Sorry, I’ve been busy with work. You know how it is.”
She nods and twirls a strand of hair around her finger. “Well, if you get some free time in that busy schedule of yours, you have my number.”
I have no idea where her number went to. Hell, I’m not even sure if I remember her giving it to me. Regardless, I smile and nod.
She grins and pushes away from the counter. “Would you like your usual?”
“That would be wonderful. Extra caramel, please?”
She winks. “You got it.”
A minute later, she hands me a caramel macchiato with extra caramel drizzled on top. I pay for the drink, grab a table in the back, and pull out my phone. My boss answers on the first ring.
“Aiden, my boy, how are you?”
“Not too bad. Yourself?”
Ryan grunts, and his chair squeaks in the background. “Always working. More new projects than I know what to do with.”
Music to my ears. “One of which I’m hoping I’ll be working on.”
“That’s the plan.”
“Tell me about it,” I say, eager to get started.
“I like your enthusiasm. It’s my favorite thing about you.” I smile triumphantly to myself as he continues. “The company wants you to design the first in a new line of video games.”
“Awesome. What theme are they going for? Zombies? Race cars? Mobsters?”
“None of the above. It’s more along the lines of an educational game, but something more fun so that kids don’t realize they’re learning.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No, I’m not.”
“But I design video games, not educational games. I’m blood, guts, guns, cars, and zombies, not clowns, teddy bears, balloons, and trains.”
“I know what you do, and you’re damn good at it, which is why the company is confident that you can come up with something equally as great for their educational line of video games.”
“Don’t they have people in another division for that?”
“Yes, but the ideas they’ve been presenting have been subpar. The higher-ups want someone fresh. Someone talented.” He pauses for dramatic effect. “They want you.”
“What if I say no?”
“You don’t have much of a choice. This is your next project, and if you choose not to do it, I can’t guarantee that they’ll come back to you for their next action-adventure game line.”
“Son of a bitch.” I bury my head in my hands. “I guess I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”
“Come on, Aiden, this isn’t the end of the world. You’re the most talented guy in this business. I know you can do this.”
“I don’t need a pep talk, Ryan.” I know I’m talented, and that’s not me being cocky, it’s the God’s honest truth. I’ve designed some of the top-selling video games on the market today. What I need is to not be assigned to this project.
I struggled enough in school growing up, how in the hell am I supposed to develop something to help other kids learn?
“I’m sending you an email now with the ideas from the others that my bosses didn’t like. They’re giving you creative control of the project. There are no limits or guidelines, they just want something educational and appealing.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” I deadpan.
“I knew I could count on you. We’ll talk soon.”
Ryan hangs up, and I drop my phone to the table. This is ridiculous. I sip my drink, allowing myself a few minutes of self-pity and then pop my earbuds back in and log into my email.
My phone rings, but when I see it’s my mom calling—probably to give me a hard time for skipping out on dinner—I send it to voicemail.
An hour later, I’m banging my head against the table, ready to quit my job and apply to work here with Janelle when the front door chimes. I look up in time to see Calvin stride into the coffee shop. He scans the area, catches sight of me, and raises one eyebrow. I wave him toward the front. He’s going to need his morning fix before dealing with me.
These emails will have to wait. I shut my laptop and shove it back into my bag when the front door chimes again. This time, Lizzie walks in, but she heads straight for the counter without scanning the room for me. Nothing gets between her and her morning caffeine.
Grabbing my cup, I sit back and finish what’s left of my now-cold drink and watch my best friend and brother at the counter. He says something that makes Lizzie laugh so hard she snorts. I smile. I love being the one who makes her laugh like that, but there’s something extra special about sitting back and watching it happen. It’s the sound, warm and inviting, that shoots straight through to my heart, and when her smiling eyes turn toward me, all of my insecurities melt away. If anyone can make me feel better about this awful situation, it’s her.
“You look like hell.” Calvin sits across from me and, a second later, Lizzie sits beside me and hands me another caramel macchiato. I stare at it like it’s the plague. “Life is short. Say ‘thank you, Lizzie,’ and enjoy it.”
“Thank you, Lizzie.”
She smiles cheekily. “You’re welcome. Why the long face?”
I take a deep breath and proceed to tell Calvin and Lizzie the dreaded details of my phone call with Ryan. When I’m done, they’re both staring at me with blank looks on their faces.
“Say something,” I demand.
Calvin clears his throat and looks at Lizzie, who waves at him to go first. “I don’t see what the big deal is.”
“The big deal is that it’s an educational game. That’s not what I do.”
“You could,” Lizzie says as though it’ll be the easiest thing I’ve ever done. “You just don’t want to.”
“You’re right, I don’t.”
“Why?” she asks.
“Does it matter why? I just don’t want to.”
“I do things every single day that I don’t want to do,” Calvin says, earning himself a high-five from Lizzie. “Quit feeling sorry for yourself and just do it.”
“That’s the problem, I don’t know where to start.”
“What was your favorite video game growing up?”
I look at Lizzie. “Pac-Man.”
She smiles because it was her favorite game, too. I remember one year my dad dragged out his old Atari. The thing was ancient. He taught Lizzie and me how to play Pac-Man, and I swear we spent the entire summer in front of the TV gobbling up ghosts.
“Good. Now, tell me what you hated learning the most in school. Was it math, language, or—”
“Prepositions,” Calvin tosses out. “I hated prepositions. Above, about, across, after, along, among, around, at,” he starts, singing the words to the tune of Yankee Doodle. “Before, beside—”
I hold my hand up. “We get it. You don’t have to finish.”
“I hated it. Our teacher made us learn that damn preposition song. To this day I still can’t get it out of my head.”
“I think it’s cute,” Lizzie says. “And that, my dear friend Aiden, is where you start.”
I stare at her, hoping that whatever she’s thinking will somehow filter its way into my brain, but nothing happens.
Lizzie rolls her eyes. “You build the game to fit the grade. I’m guessing prepositions are probably fifth grade. What do fifth-grade boys like?”
“Girls,” Calvin and I say at the same time.
Calvin grins, and we bump fists.
“Besides girls.”
“Dragons,” I say, remembering a book series I read in elementary school.
“Perfect. So, instead of a ghost-eating Pac-Man, you have a dragon, and he’s chasing after preposition fireballs.”
“Dragons blow fireballs, they don’t eat them.” Calvin quickly holds his hands up when Lizzie glares at him. “Okay, fine, we’ll have a fireball-eating dragon.”
“Wait…” Ideas are whirling in my head, one after another after another, almost too fast for me to keep up with. I grab a piece of paper and pen from my bag and jot them down before I forget. “What if the dragon blows fire at words, but the purpose of the game is to hit the prepositions.”
“Yes!” Lizzie claps and throws her arms around my neck. “And it can be tailored for different grades. You can do it to help kids learn nouns, verbs, adjectives, the possibilities are endless.”
“And the faster they identify certain words, the higher the score. It could be a one-person game or a four-person game.”
“And you’re not just stuck with language,” she says, stealing the idea right out of my head. “There’s math, science, social studies. You can design them for all ages, from preschool to high school.”
I love how excited Lizzie sounds about this project. But then again, that’s how things have always been.
Lizzie is my rock, my partner, my best friend, and I love her for it.
It’s moments like this that make me wonder if we’re better off as friends. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s a preview of how good we could be together.
“It’s a brilliant idea.” Calvin watches me with a proud eye.
“Yeah?”
“Absolutely. I bet Ryan will go crazy for it.”
“Glad I could help.” Lizzie stands up. “I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve got somewhere to be. Calvin, it was great seeing you.” She bends down to kiss his cheek.
“It was great seeing you, too, Liz. You’re still coming to the wedding, right?”
“Wouldn’t miss it.”
“Where are you heading off to?” I ask.
“Yoga.”
“Yoga? But you hate to exercise. Even worse, you hate stretching.”
“I know. But it’s hot yoga, and Sarah said the instructor is muy caliente.”
“Have fun,” Calvin says.
“Thanks.” Lizzie grabs her purse from the back of her chair and points a finger at me. “I’ll see you tomorrow at trivia night. I hope you’re ready to lose.”
“In your dreams.” She winks and turns for the door, taking another piece of my heart with her. When I turn back around, Calvin has a stupid grin on his face. “What?”
“Nothing.” He laughs and shakes his head. Whatever. “Did you go for the final fitting of your suit?”
I was so damn glad when Calvin decided on tailored suits in lieu of tuxes at his wedding. “Yes, I did. Is there anything else you need help with?”
“Nah, Mom has taken care of most of it.”
“Really?”
“Are you really that surprised? Mom has always been involved.”
“Not with me.”
Calvin pins me with a hard look. “That’s because you wouldn’t let her. It wasn’t from a lack of trying on her part.”
Growing up, I fought my parents on everything. Everything. I was a handful, always ready to do what I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted. Calvin had been just as wild, but unlike me, he cared what our parents thought and would often bend to their expectations. He had a relationship with our parents that I rebelled against, but always secretly craved.
Dad and I shared a special relationship. Or, hell, maybe it was an understanding. He didn’t try to stop me from doing whatever the hell I wanted to do, and I didn’t get into too much trouble. It was a win-win for both of us. But where he was easy-going and didn’t pry too much into my life, Mom was the complete opposite. She was always riding my ass.
You need to get better grades, Aiden, so you can get into a good school.
You need a good education so that you can get a good job.
How are you going to support yourself if you don’t go to college?
Look at your brother, Calvin, he has a great job. Maybe you can be an accountant like him.
And when I finally decided on what I wanted to do for a living, it still wasn’t good enough for her.
A video game designer? Can you make any money doing that?
She criticized and questioned everything I did. The more she tried to insert herself into my life, the more I pulled away.
From everyone except Lizzie and Calvin.
“You should call Mom and tell her about this new game you’re working on.”
I roll my eyes. “She doesn’t care about some stupid video game.”
“It’s not stupid, and how do you know? You don’t tell her anything. You won’t even answer her calls.”
“I tell her stuff.” Calvin gives me a look, and I sigh. “Fine, you’re right, I don’t tell her stuff. But what can I say? Mom and I have never had that type of relationship.”
“I don’t get it.” Calvin stands up and shoves his hands into his pockets. “You’re an awesome person, the best damn brother I could’ve asked for. You’re loyal, successful, smart as hell, funny. You have this big, giant heart—look at how you help Lizzie take care of your neighbor Edna—but you push our parents away. Why?”
“I don’t know.” Mom and I fought so much that it eventually became easier to avoid her altogether. But I keep those words to myself because when I replay them in my head, I don’t like the way it sounds.
I’ve always blamed our lack of relationship on Mom, but maybe…maybe I had a bigger part in it than I thought.
“They’re not going to be around forever.”