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At six the next morning, my house was abuzz with activity. Waffles were being made. The three kids were outside with Angel, Pinkie Pie, and Twilight Sparkle.
“Can I call in sick today?” Helia asked as I walked into the kitchen.
“Angels don’t get hangovers,” I told her.
“No, just a small headache. I haven’t drunk enough water.”
“You can’t. There must be forms to fill out to change your salary. I know they exist if I give someone a raise,” I told her. “Plus, it’s the last Friday of September.”
“The start of the busy season.” Helia sighed.
“You guzzle water and I will make waffles.” According to the Bureau of Exorcism, about one-fifth of all reported possessions each year happened in the month of October, primarily because people thought it was funnier to become possessed in October. I added extra vanilla and almond extract to the Belgian waffle batter, which probably meant they couldn’t be called Belgian waffles anymore, but whatever. I like almond extract in my waffles. Then I did the unthinkable and added a half cup of chocolate chips. We have a waffle iron that makes waffles in the shapes of a dog, cat, horse, reindeer, bear, and rabbit. I filled the waffle iron while my sister guzzled a second glass of water. She set about getting fresh fruit and maple syrup out, then remembered the white corn syrup and set it on the table as well. The differences between Helia and I were great and cooking together highlighted yet another one. My sister could cook and move things with magic spells, while I had to do it the hard way, by hand. I pulled out the first set of waffles and put them on a plate.
“You know you’ll need to fix extras for my girls. They love Aunt Asha’s waffles.” I earned the nickname Asha as a child when I set fire to our yard using Stygian Flame, reducing everything living to ashes. As babies just learning to talk, Asha was easier for the girls to say than Soleil. I nodded as I poured the next batch of six. The waffle iron started life as a mini-waffle maker, but Jerome needed to “grow” something for homework, and he settled on my waffle iron. It now made six five-inch animal-shaped waffles.
“Eighteen waffles?” I asked. Helia nodded and refilled her water glass for a fourth time. “Are you super dehydrated?” Normally most supernaturals avoided drinking plain water in great quantities. Magic required energy and therefore calories. Plain water didn’t have calories, so it filled a being up without providing any fuel.
“Yes,” Helia said. “Between the wine and trying not to curse Mark yesterday, I feel awful.” Strangely, not using magic could take a toll on a supernatural being. It came easily with strong emotions like anger. The kids joined us as I took the last of the waffles off the iron and Helia finished her fourth glass of water.
“Mommy, I have to tell you something,” Aurora squeaked as she ran into the room. I put waffles on the table. She was instantly distracted by the smell of waffles and maple syrup. I preferred my waffles with fruit and grabbed three of them, then covered them in strawberries and blackberries.
“Can you tell me at breakfast?” Helia asked, and Aurora nodded. Helia pulled bacon off the stove and everyone sat down at the table. The girls fixed their plates with help from their mother. Jerome fixed his own plate, and I added two slices of bacon to my three waffles. I like bacon, but I like waffles more.
“Mommy, I told Aunt Asha last night and of course, Jerome already knew. Aunt Asha told me you wouldn’t think I was weird and you would still love me, so I am ready to tell you my secret so I can be an archangel too. And I really want to be an archangel like you and Ariel. Aunt Asha said I am.” Aurora went on in this manner for a good five minutes and I tried not to giggle. Young children were incapable of getting to the point. Finally, after much ado, Aurora told her mom that she could talk to animals, hear their thoughts, and understand them when they spoke to her, like when Angel barked. That required a further five minutes of explanation. I smiled and shoveled waffles into my mouth. I noticed Jerome doing the same.
“Aurora, honey, why would you think you needed to hide that from me?” Helia finally asked after the six-year-old finished. I froze, my fork halfway to my mouth. Aurora said nothing for several moments, then admitted that when she was four, she told her daddy and he told her she needed to keep it a secret because Mommy and Mommy’s family would think she was weird. I felt the magic swell.
“Don’t blow up my house,” I told my sister. “Why don’t you take the morning off and go talk to Dad. Jerome and I will make sure the girls get to school.” I was expecting my sister’s head to explode with rage at any moment. Thankfully, it didn’t, and she only picked at her food. When the girls were done eating, Jerome and I packed them up in my SUV and took them to school.
“Is Mommy okay?” Aurora asked me.
“Yes,” I said. “Your daddy telling you to keep your gift a secret just upset Mommy. It hurt her and made her angry. Not at you, but at your daddy.”
“Did I get Daddy in trouble?” Aurora asked sounding very small.
“No, Daddy got Daddy in trouble,” I told her. “By telling you to keep such a beautiful thing a secret and fibbing to you that Mommy wouldn’t like it, Daddy got himself in trouble.” I had never liked Mark, but honestly, it was getting harder and harder to try to defend him, even to his kids. What I really wanted to do after I walked the girls into the school was go to his apartment and kick his ass. He was a prick of the highest order. He told his daughter to hide her gift even before the divorce had started, and that was unpardonable. He didn’t have a single fucking excuse for his behavior other than spite.
“Are you sure I have to wait until the divorce is final?” Jerome asked when I got back in the car.
“Yes,” I said. I didn’t tell him I intended to make Mark impotent when we made the stink bomb, but I was still thinking about it when we got to the office.
“Oh hell,” Remiel said when I walked in.
“Helia will be out this morning,” I told him and walked to the staff room.
“Uh, yeah. Holy shit,” Remiel said.
“What’s up?” Janet asked. Remiel the mind reader filled her in.
“Technically, demon boxes are illegal,” Remiel told me.
“I’m a first offender,” I answered.
“I don’t think I can lie about it, even for you,” Remiel replied. There was a ding indicating someone had entered the office.
“Where is everyone?” Raphael called out from the front of the office.
“Helia is on the way to your house,” I told my father, walking out of the staff room. “She has something she needs to discuss with you and Mom. Go home.”
“I can’t. There’s a second demon box,” Raphael told us. Fan-fucking-tabulous. This day was just getting better and better. “I’ll go pick it up and we can deal with it when you are less angry,” he said quickly.
“No,” Remiel said. “We’ll send Janet and Jerome to pick up the box. You, Soleil, me, and Helia will sit down and talk about the problem. We will deal with the box when Soleil simmers down, but it needs to be picked up now. Does that work for you, Janet?”
“Yes, but...” she frowned.
“Jerome is strong enough to exorcise anything that already came out of it. But, Jerome, do not, I mean absolutely do not, try to exorcise the box,” Remiel said.
“Yes, sir,” Jerome said. I wavered about letting him go, but in the end, I nodded my consent because Jerome was like me. He was born to be an exorcist and I trusted him to call me if he needed me. After they left, I called Helia and told her Dad was at the office and she should come here. She told me she was already at their house and she was bringing Mom with her. “Hu-fucking-rray,” I thought as I hung up.
“Mom knows and is coming with Helia, so I’ll tell you,” I told Raphael. We put a closed sign on the door and I took my father and uncle back to the staff room. I explained about Mark’s offer to Helia to buy her own children, as well as Mark telling Aurora not to tell Helia or her family about her innate magic. As I was explaining everything, Helia and Mom showed up. After I finished, my mom put her hand on Raphael’s shoulder.
“Go turn him into a jackass,” Mom said to her husband of 600 years.
“I’m afraid he’s already a jackass,” Dad replied. “He offered you sole custody of the girls for ten million dollars each?” Dad asked Helia.
“Yes, and in front of the mediator.” She blushed.
“Good, I can work with that. Helia, we’ll call Gabriel on the way to petition for sole custody. Sophia, you stay here with Soleil and Remiel. Janet and Jerome should be back with the demon box soon. You can help Soleil calm down enough to deal with it.” No doubt that within the hour, every archangel and possibly every angel on the planet would know that Mark told his daughter to hide her magic from her family and offered to let Helia buy sole custody of them. I almost felt bad for him, but he was such a jackass, my pity remained just out of reach.
“Why Gabriel?” I asked after they left.
“He was a lawyer for about a hundred years,” my mom replied. I nodded. He was currently a hotel and bar owner, but I could see him as a lawyer.
“How long ago?” I asked.
“The entire 1800s and part of the 1900s,” Remiel said.
“Oh, yeah, I’m sure the law hasn’t changed since then.” I smirked.
It took another half hour for Jerome and Janet to return. They had the box sealed in a bag. Jerome looked tired.
“How bad was it?” I asked.
“A handful of minor demons,” Janet said. “One demon box. Jerome says the sigil is Ashtoreth’s.” I checked to ensure an incubus or succubus hadn’t taken hold of either of them, found them clean, and I took possession of the box.
“Hi, Sophia,” Janet said, realizing my mom was there.
“I’m filling in for Helia today,” Mom replied. “Take the box into one of the other rooms. It shouldn’t be hanging out in the reception area,” she told me. I took the box to my office. As I turned to enter the room, I hit my wing on the door frame. A few feathers fell out and it started to bleed. Jerome pushed past me and entered my office to get a magic salve he’d created just for this reason. My wings were a nuisance. I hadn’t had them all my life, so I still wasn’t graceful at maneuvering them. Since wings needed a lot of blood, sometimes hitting them made them bleed heavily.