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“I’ve sent a request to have the banned grimoires checked, but you might be able to figure it out before they call me back. The information I’m about to give you is disturbing, but you can answer it in half an hour or less, and the archive could take a month.” I told Azrael before I explained the murder of Blanche Lesassier. After I explained, I told him about my conversation with Megan and gave him Jacinda Merkle’s missing persons file to look through. He looked at the file for several minutes, then there was a loud bang at my front door. Krystal came running into my office. Jerome and I jumped from our chairs and headed to the living room. There were five police officers in full riot gear in my living room, and one was holding a magic wand. I wondered what the point of it was but didn’t ask. I didn’t know many witches or wizards that used an actual magic wand. The purpose of it was to concentrate magic, but most didn’t need a wand to focus it.
“Soleil Burns, we have an arrest warrant,” one of the officers said, stepping toward me.
“For what?” I asked.
“Assault,” the officer said.
“I just bonded out on assault charges. I think you got your wires crossed.”
“You are Soleil Burns and your brother-in-law is Mark Reynolds?” the officer asked, handing me the arrest warrant. I didn’t unfold it or even look at it.
“Yes, I am Soleil Burns and yes, that moron is my brother-in-law. I was arrested two nights ago for intentionally causing him to become possessed, but I have my court date next month and I’ve already bonded out,” I said again, louder and firmer.
“No, ma’am, I think this is a new charge.”
“That’s impossible. I haven’t been near that jackass. I have been home all day, except for the hour I was gone to see our family therapist from 3 p.m. to 4 p.m.,” I told him. “My therapist lives across the street at 1602 if you’d like to go verify my whereabouts.” My stomach growled. I’d forgotten to eat lunch because I’d been wrapped up in finding Jacinda Merkle. I’d have to eat a snack after I got rid of these guys. I heard running footsteps outside the broken door, and suddenly my neighbor Walter appeared.
“Soleil, is everything okay?” Walter asked through the door, pulling out identification and his US Marshals badge.
“Yes, someone messed up some paperwork. These officers are here to arrest me for intentionally causing my brother-in-law to become possessed after he cut off my niece’s angel wings.” I said this last part very loudly and very slowly. Walter had heard of the incident the night it happened. “However, since I have already been arraigned and bailed out on that charge, I’m guessing someone mixed up my paperwork and sent these officers to re-arrest me by accident.”
“No, ma’am, this charge is simple assault. A detective will speak to you about it at the station and you can tell him where you were,” the officer who had handed me the search warrant said. I handed it to Azrael.
“Okay, I’m coming. Azrael, call my parents and Uncle Gabriel and tell them what’s happened. Call Uncle Gabriel first since he’s my lawyer in the intentional possession with harm charge.” I put my hands behind my back.
“How did she assault him?” Jerome asked.
“Some kind of bomb,” the officer said.
“Uh, no, what?” Jerome said, and I saw his eyes get wide.
“It’s fine, Jerome, we will get this sorted out. You stay here with Azrael and Krystal. Everything will be just fine,” I told him.
“May I take her into custody?” Walter asked. “She’s a good friend of mine as well as my neighbor, and she was severely injured yesterday in service to the city of St. Louis.” Walter moved close to me.
“That would be fine sir,” the first officer said, stepping back. Walter leaned in close to me as he handcuffed me.
“Jerome,” I whispered to the human US Marshal as he clicked the cuffs around my wrists.
“I believe you have pain meds for your wing damage?” Walter said, louder than necessary. “Where is it? I will give you a shot before we leave because you could be there for some time. Would that be okay with you officers?”
“She doesn’t have wings.” One of the officers protested.
“She did up until yesterday,” Walter said and looked at Jerome. “Jerome, please show the officers a picture of your guardian before yesterday.” Jerome immediately pulled up a picture to show them. I couldn’t see it, but there were some whistles and low mumbles.
“Soleil was one of the archangels that responded to the demon box emergency at the schools in St. Louis yesterday, and a demon named Karadon tried to eat her,” Azrael said, speaking up for the first time. “He ripped off her wings and poisoned her. In reality, my niece has been so weak and in so much pain today, I am kind of surprised anyone would want to arrest her for a paperwork problem. I’m Azrael the Archangel, with the Bureau of Exorcism,” he said after realizing an introduction might be useful. Krystal came back with the Stygian morphine and a syringe.
“Here’s her medication. We’ll go into the other room to give her the shot, since it goes in her butt.” This made every police officer shift.
“One of you is welcome to watch,” Walter told them. A female officer stepped forward, and still cuffed, Walter led me into the kitchen. Krystal stayed in the living room. “This is Stygian morphine,” Walter said as he took the vial of medication. “I shouldn’t touch it. Does Azrael know how much to give?”
“No, Helia’s been doing the shots,” I told him.
“Do you know how much you get?” the female officer asked.
“It should be on the bottle,” I said. “However, if you aren’t supernatural, I would prefer you not risk your life to give me a shot. If Krystal or Azrael is unwilling to do it, my psychiatrist across the street is a werewolf and would gladly do it.”
“We’ll get the werewolf therapist. As a psychiatrist she’ll know about the medication better than your exorcist uncle and his girlfriend,” she said, and I didn’t point out that Krystal was a nurse practitioner. She left the room for maybe 30 seconds.
“Jerome sent him a stink bomb,” I hiss-whispered to Walter.
“Ah,” Walter grinned. “He deserved so much more than that. Are we stalling for Gabriel or your parents or what?”
“Just to tell you it was a stink bomb and I don’t want Jerome to get in trouble for it.” The female officer came back in with Krystal.
“She’s a doctor,” the female officer said.
“It has been a really long 24 hours,” I said. “To me, she’s Aunt Krystal.”
“I’m sure it has and by the way, Miss Burns, I don’t care what you and the Marshal were whispering about. You didn’t kill Mark Reynolds, so whatever you did do, it was deserved,” the female officer whispered. “Off the record, of course.”
“Absolutely,” I nodded to her and Krystal jabbed the needle into my butt cheek. “You weren’t told how I assaulted him?”
“No, ma’am, just that he had lodged an assault claim and it was being taken seriously and involved a bomb.”
“How strange,” I said. “I guess someone will tell me what I did at the station.”
“Yes, ma’am,” the female officer finally smiled, and it made her look a lot younger and less cynical. They let Walter accompany me to the station as a courtesy. I was placed in a special interrogation room. Walter wasn’t allowed to follow me back there, but he said he needed to call Megan and make some other calls. I didn’t have to wait long. It took maybe five minutes for a detective to come into the room.
“Miss Burns,” the older detective said. He sat down at the table across from me. “Have you seen your brother-in-law since 3:30 p.m.?”
“I haven’t seen my brother-in-law since the hospital after he cut my niece’s fucking angel wings off with a hacksaw,” I replied.
“That’s under investigation,” the detective said, trying to sound soothing, which really pissed me off.
“And yet, I’m the one that’s been arrested twice. My sister and parents rushed out to the courthouse earlier today because of something related to my brother-in-law.”
“He was given bail, which you must have known,” the detective said.
“Why was he given bail? He cut his own daughter’s wings off!” I clipped each word as I said it.
“Because that is the way the system works. Just like you were given bail after causing him to become possessed.”
“I’m not commenting on that. I was told I tried to blow him up.”
“No, Miss Burns, you did something more vindictive and less dangerous. You built a stink bomb and sent it to him. When he got home after paying his bail, he opened the box and it exploded all over him. We don’t know what you used, but it is rank.”
“Wow, I must have overnighted that package. Oh wait, he was in jail when I supposedly built and sent this stink bomb. How did I get it to him so fast? What time was he granted bail? What time did he leave police custody? Because I have been home all day, except for one hour when I went across the street to see my therapist after nearly being eaten by a demon I was exorcizing from a school yesterday,” I said.
“I see. Can anyone verify that?” he asked.
“I’m sure my therapist can verify I was at her house for an hour. Otherwise, the only people home were myself, Jerome, my Uncle Azrael the Archangel, and his life partner Krystal Whitesides.”
“So, your alibi is family who are also mad at Mark Reynolds?” The detective leaned back in his chair and folded his hands over his belly. “I was dispatched to interview Mark Reynolds. He’s a jerk. He’s the one that told us it had to be you, but the arresting officers informed me there was a teenage boy there, I’m guessing that’s Jerome. So, here’s my thoughts on this. You don’t strike me as the type to build and send a stink bomb, even to Mark Reynolds. That seems like something a kid would do. A kid like Jerome. I have a feeling Jerome did this, and you are going to allow me to charge you because you think you’re protecting him.”
“Jerome wouldn’t do that. He’s an extraordinarily talented wizard. If he was going to send a bomb to my soon to be ex-brother-in-law, it wouldn’t have been a stink bomb. Maybe he would have translocated thousands of tons brimstone to Mark’s apartment, but a stink bomb would be beneath his use of magic. All of this would require Jerome to have advanced knowledge of Mark’s release from jail, because he can’t drive yet. So once again, we have the issue of how would he, at 15, get it to Mark when you said he didn’t bond out until after 2 p.m.? For all Jerome’s talents, seeing the future isn’t one of them.”
“You know, Miss Burns, the stink bomb had minimal magic in it, and Jerome’s a minor. He’d get community service for a few months, possibly less if he confessed and had character witnesses.”
“You said it yourself, Mark’s a jerk. His oldest daughter has met three of his girlfriends in the last month during supervised visits. Yes, I and my family are incredibly angry that he mutilated his own child, and that anyone would agree to give him bond is insane, in my opinion. But just because Mark thinks I did this doesn’t mean I did. Furthermore, it doesn’t prove that Jerome did it, either. Maybe one of his three girlfriends did it or maybe one of them has a teenage son that did it. Maybe one of his neighbors did it, because Mark seems like the type to not get along with his neighbors.”
“You have an answer for everything,” the detective said with a sigh.
“Not really. I’d love to know who did it, and I’d like to take them to dinner to celebrate. I hope they used some kind of skunk, brimstone, decomposition mixed smell and that he ends up smelling like it for the rest of his life. That would make me happy. However, I can firmly say that neither I nor my ward Jerome Dusdain gave Mark a stink bomb.” Which was in fact the absolute truth. It was my uncle that had given it to Mark somehow. The door opened and a man stuck his head in.
“Uh, we need you,” the man said to the detective, who stood up.
“No, not you, her,” the man replied to the detective. “Your lawyer is here, and we think a demon box was just delivered to the chief of police.” I stood up and held out my hands.
“If I’m going to deal with a demon box, I’m going to want my hands free.” The detective stood up and took a key from his pocket.
“This isn’t over, Miss Burns. You may not believe a stink bomb is a big deal, but it is simple assault, and you aren’t above the law no matter who your family is or who you are.”
“I don’t think it’s a trivial matter, detective. My nieces could have been there and been covered in the funk. Also, I believe in the necessity of law and order. However, if you expect me to have sympathy for the victim, it just isn’t going to happen. He took a hacksaw and mutilated his own daughter while she screamed in terror and pain. So far, he’s endured 24 hours of demonic possession, another 24 hours in jail, and a stink bomb. I have all sorts of questions about how he managed to bond out. My family had to put up thousands of dollars because I caused him to become possessed. But Mark is broke, that’s why there’s been a custody battle. He wants money from my sister to maintain his extravagant lifestyle. I have trouble imagining how he managed to bond out of jail given the severity of the charges against him. You’re right, I do not care one fig that someone sent him a stink bomb. When you do find whoever did it, I’d like a call, so I can post their bond and take them to dinner.”
“Get out of here,” the detective said, and he looked thoughtful as he said it.