From the moment the second blue line had appeared on the home pregnancy test, I’d been a hot mess. Even worse than I’d been just after O’Leary’s retirement party. Thoughts like having fun and going out just for the hell of it had become foreign concepts.

As Reese got dressed after grabbing a quick shower, I didn’t even know where to go for the afternoon. I didn’t know where to start. I’d been locked inside my head for so long, obsessing over things beyond my control, I had no idea what to do with myself now that I’d decided to take a breather.

I handed Reese the keys, and we climbed into the rental car. As she ran the AC to blow away the afternoon’s heat, she glanced around. “Man, there isn’t much in this area, is there?”

“No, it’s kind of a shitty part of town. Was all I could afford.”

“On this island? I don’t doubt that. Honolulu would’ve set you back an entire paycheck.”

“Right? I’ve gotten spoiled. Okinawa’s cheap.”

“That’s for sure. Oahu’s a fucking rip-off.” She tapped her thumbs on the wheel for a moment. “Why don’t we grab a bite to eat? You’re going to be holed up in that place for a couple of days, so I’m thinking we should get some fresh air and decent food while we still can.”

I wasn’t sure if anything I ate would stay where it belonged, but I was willing to give it a try.

“Anything in particular you’re in the mood for?” She turned to me. “I don’t want to upset your stomach.”

“My stomach’s fine.” So far.

“Is it? I thought . . . uh . . .”

“Thought I’m at that stage where I’m throwing up at the drop of a hat?”

“Basically, yeah.”

“No, I’m good.” I shook my head. “The fucked-up thing is I haven’t even had any real morning sickness. The only time I’ve gotten sick has been when Stanton’s nearby.”

“Oh, honey.” Reese waved a hand. “I’m not carrying his kid and I want to blow chunks whenever he shows up.”

I wrinkled my nose. “He kind of has that effect, doesn’t he?”

“There’s no ‘kind of’ about it. He’s a fucking creeper.”

“He so is. But, yeah, for food? Anything. In fact, I’m a lot hungrier than I thought.”

“Me too. Those little box meals they serve on the plane are a joke.”

I laughed. “I don’t know. They’re better than commercial-airline food.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that. But stale room-temperature McDonald’s is better than commercial-airline food.”

“Good point.”

We glanced at each other and both laughed.

She shifted the idling car into reverse and eased out of the parking space. “Why don’t we head down to Waikiki? There’s got to be some decent food down there.”

“I’m in.”

Getting out of that shithole, escaping reality to enjoy a meal with someone who wasn’t judging or threatening me?

Yeah. I was in.

In Waikiki, Reese parked outside one of those shopping centers that catered to tourists with no taste and too much money. After wandering for a while through throngs of people in oversized sunglasses and bright Hawaiian shirts, we found a café overlooking a beautiful white-sand beach.

The hostess showed us to a table on the patio and gave us a couple of colorful, laminated menus.

For a few minutes, I just sat back and let the tropical wind play with my hair and warm my face. The climate here was almost identical to Okinawa, but at least for this afternoon, it didn’t take me back to the island where he was waiting for me. If only for today, it was a reprieve from the freezing-cold motel room where I’d been on the verge of a breakdown.

I shifted my gaze toward Reese, watching her over the menu as she looked out at the ocean. I still couldn’t believe she’d come. I’d begged her to get on Skype because I’d needed someone to listen to me and just be there so I didn’t feel quite so alone. The last thing I’d expected was this. No questions asked, on a moment’s notice, the woman who hadn’t even liked me a week ago had taken leave, hopped a plane, and now . . . she was here.

Because we might have more in common than you think.

She hadn’t said exactly what had happened, but I could connect the dots she’d given me. And there was no way I could be thankful it had happened to her just so we could find some common ground. I wouldn’t have wished that on anyone.

But if there was even the slightest silver lining to any of this, then I was grateful.

She turned her head, and I almost dropped my menu. She raised her eyebrows. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I . . .” Was staring at you because— “I’m good. Just zoned out a bit.”

She smiled faintly. “I can’t blame you. And if I nod off here at the table, don’t take it personally.”

I laughed. “Does that mean I have to drive back?”

“We’ll see. But once I get a Red Bull or two in me, I’ll be fine. I’m just a bit jet-lagged.”

“Did you at least get some sleep on the plane?”

Reese nodded. “God, I love cargo jets. Nothing like being able to stretch out across the seats.”

“Right? And the noise from the engines drowns out everything else. If it wasn’t so damned cold, it would be perfect.”

She shrugged. “I packed a blanket. I was good.”

“Smart.”

“You didn’t?”

“No, no, I did. But there was a family on my flight who’d obviously never flown cargo class before.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah.”

Our eyes met, and I was sure an awkward What the hell do we say now? silence was about to set in, but the waitress picked that exact moment to materialize beside us.

“Have you had a chance to decide?” she asked.

“Um . . .” I glanced at the menu and realized I’d been so wrapped up in Reese, not a single item had registered. “Go ahead. I just need a second.”

While Reese ordered, I quickly scanned the menu. Damn, all the fancy tropical drinks sounded ridiculously tempting. Getting drunk and stupid sounded even better.

But I settled on a virgin mai tai. After the waitress had gone away to get our orders, I shook my head. “I don’t know why I didn’t just order a real one. Seems kind of stupid, doesn’t it? Worrying about alcohol when I’m . . .” I couldn’t even finish the thought.

“No, it doesn’t.”

I swallowed. “But the only reason I wouldn’t is because I’m pregnant. And after tomorrow . . .”

She winced and pursed her lips.

I played with the edge of the tablecloth. “If you’re thinking something, just say it.”

She met my gaze but still hesitated. Then she leaned forward, folding her hands on the table. “Listen, I’m here to support you. You’re getting pulled in a hundred directions, and you have a ton on your plate. I don’t want to add to that.”

I raised my eyebrow. “But . . .?”

“But I’m also worried about you. And about how you’re handling everything. Especially tomorrow.”

“I don’t even know. I’ve just kind of been going through the motions because I don’t know what else to do.” I exhaled, hard. “To tell you the truth, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve been a fucking wreck since the night it happened, and after that test turned positive . . .”

“I think anybody would be. Under both circumstances.” She swallowed. “I’m not going to try to talk you out of it. It’s your call. But at least promise me this is your call. Your choice. Not his.”

I lowered my gaze.

“Kim . . .”

Rubbing the back of my neck, I sighed heavily. “I don’t know what else to do. Like I said before, I can’t put the baby up for adoption without his consent.”

She swore under her breath.

I lifted my gaze. “All I can do now is get the abortion and then report the assault and hope to God it doesn’t get swept under the rug.”

“Damn.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, then lowered her hand. “And so we’re clear, I’m not judging you. I just hate the fact that he’s making the call.”

I scowled. “He’s made all the decisions from the start.”

“I know. And none of them are his to make.”

“So what do you think I should do?”

Reese was quiet for a moment, then sighed. “I don’t know. I really wish I had an alternative for you.”

“Me too.”

And once again, the waitress’s timing was perfect. She set our plates and drinks down in front of us, and Reese and I shook off the uncomfortable conversation in favor of enjoying our meal.

There was something kind of strange about sitting out here, having a nice dinner above the beach just hours before . . . before go time. Like I should’ve been holed up in the cold motel room, freaking out instead of letting the sun warm my shoulders while I ate with Reese.

I was terrified. I was trapped. I was hurting, and tomorrow, I’d be hurting physically, too.

But at least I wasn’t alone.