We stopped for a couple of virgin daiquiris on the way down to the beach, which staved off the lingering heat of the day. At the edge of the sand, we finished our drinks, then took off our sandals and made our way out onto the beach. The sand was hot but not enough to burn, and the tourists were steadily wandering back to the hotels, so everything was perfect. Not too crowded, not too hot—perfect.
Part of me was still reeling from finally telling someone what had happened to me in Afghanistan, but I also felt . . . freer. As if talking about it—or more to the point, having someone I could trust with it—was the key to letting it go. Obviously it would never go away completely, but I’d shaken it off enough that I could embrace this relaxing day out. Especially since I was spending it with . . .
Her.
The woman who’d let me unload my story even while she carried the weight of her own assault. In spite of the rocky start, we’d gotten to this place—trusting, comfortable—and I was so, so grateful. I was also keenly aware of my responsibility to support her emotionally right now.
A ways down the beach, Kim exhaled. “God, I needed this tonight.”
“I’ll bet you did.”
She tilted her head to one side, then the other. “You’d think I would’ve thought to get out and relax a bit.”
“Glad it’s helping now.”
“It is.” She inhaled deeply, and as she let that breath go, a smile slowly formed on her lips. “So much.”
“Good. How, um, how are you feeling? About everything?”
“You mean about bailing this morning?”
I shrugged. “Sure.”
“I don’t know. Part of me still wants to get it over with. Part of me doesn’t know, well, anything.”
“Well, at least now you have some time to catch your breath and think things over.”
“Thank God.” She turned to me. “Or, well, I guess I should say thank you.”
I smiled. “No, it was your decision.”
“Yeah, but I think I needed someone to talk me off the ledge and tell me that decision was okay.” She rolled her eyes, her cheeks coloring. “Fuck. I sound like such an idiot. I swear, I can make my own decisions and think for myself, I’ve just been such a damned mess lately.”
“Kim.” I stopped, and when she did, too, I squeezed her shoulder. “Nobody expects you to have a completely clear head right now. Anyone who does is either clueless or an asshole. It’s okay to lean on people.”
“That’s a tough thing to do when you’re not used to being able to lean on anybody.”
“Well, get used to it.”
She hesitated but then returned the smile, and some of the tightness in her neck and shoulders seemed to disappear.
I didn’t know what else to say. All I knew was I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Fatigue and stress still made themselves known in the dark circles under her eyes, but the fading daylight played on her skin, filling in the color that exhaustion had taken away. Her blue eyes shone with more life than they had before. She still had a long way to go, but it was like she had her spark back, even if it was only for tonight.
Why would you do this to her, Stanton? Who in his right mind would break this girl?
Twin crevices deepened between her eyebrows. “What?”
“Hmm?”
“You were looking at me kind of, I don’t know . . .”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I just . . .” I hesitated. “Okay, can I be totally honest about something?”
She shrugged. “Sure. Yeah.”
“You’ve been different ever since I got here.”
Kim scowled. “Wouldn’t you be?”
“No, that’s not what I mean. I don’t mean it as a bad thing.” I swept my tongue across my lips, catching the taste of my daiquiri and caught myself wondering if hers tasted the same. “I mean, you’re dressed differently. Less”—I gestured at my face—“makeup.”
“Oh.” Her cheeks colored, and she turned toward the water. “Just didn’t . . . didn’t feel the need—”
“I like it.”
Kim straightened, her lips parting. “What?”
“You’re so much prettier like this. The real you.”
“Really?”
I nodded. “I mean, I’m not saying you’re not pretty the rest of the time, but like this, you’re . . .” I exhaled. “Kim, you’re stunning like this.”
She smiled shyly. “Thanks.” She gestured at herself. “It’s funny. This is how I prefer to dress, but the other way, I thought that’s how the guys liked girls.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Fuck those guys. You don’t need to please them.”
“So I’ve learned,” she whispered.
“I’m serious. What they think doesn’t matter.” As I spoke, I couldn’t resist touching her face. She closed her eyes and released a breath but didn’t recoil from my fingertips, so I gently rested my entire hand against her cheek. She pressed into it, her soft skin warm beneath mine.
I swallowed. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah.” She put her hand over mine and looked up at me. “To be honest, aside from this trip, I haven’t been touched by another girl since before I came to Okinawa.”
“Neither have I.”
Kim held my gaze. “How long ago was that?”
“Almost two years.”
“Wow. That’s a long time.”
“Yeah. It is.”
She ran her fingers through my hair. Gazing into her eyes, I wondered if her heart was beating as fast as mine.
The silence lingered. I kept searching for some way to fill it, but I couldn’t think. Not when her gaze kept flicking back and forth from my eyes to my lips. Or when mine kept doing the same, alternating between her beautiful eyes and her parted lips.
Kim took a breath. Then she lifted her chin, and as if drawn by some unseen force, my body reacted to hers, moving in closer and leaning down until our lips almost brushed.
“Are you sure about this?” I whispered.
“I’m not sure about anything.”
But she kissed me anyway.
Neither of us moved at first. My heart was beating out of control, but otherwise, I was as still as she was. Then she nudged my lower lip with hers, and I tilted my head slightly as I did the same to her.
My sandals slipped from my fingers and fell, forgotten, to the sand. A second later, hers fell, too. She parted her lips, and I parted mine, and as we wrapped our arms around each other, the kiss deepened.
Electricity shot right through me, and at the same time a lump rose in my throat. Jesus Christ, had I really gone so long without tasting another woman like this? Without feeling another woman?
I slid my hands down her sides, tracing the delicious curve of her waist as I drew her body closer to mine. Some people just fit together, every curve and angle fitting like they were made to, and Kim and I fit perfectly.
I ran my hand up again, but as I started over the swell of her breast, I pulled back.
She grabbed my wrist. “Don’t.”
“But I—”
She gently laid my hand back on her breast. “Please.”
Then her lips were over mine again and we were kissing, and when I ran my thumb over her nipple, she moaned into my kiss and pressed against me.
“You sure this is okay?” I whispered.
“I feel like it shouldn’t be.” She drew back so we could see each other. “Seems like I shouldn’t want to go any further.” She ran her tongue across her lower lip. “But it’s been so long since anything’s felt good . . .”
I trailed my fingertips down the side of her face. “We can always stop.”
“I don’t want to.” Swallowing hard, she met my eyes. “M-maybe we should go back to the room.”
I shivered. “Yeah. Maybe we should.”