Remo called Smith as instructed. He had nothing new to report, but Smith still insisted on calls every six hours.
Wandering around the confines of the hotel was giving him cabin fever. During the day, most of the protesters were out and about, walking the streets and seeing the sights, so there was little opportunity to question any of them to see who might be a little too keyed up: rapid heartbeat, excessive sweating, unnecessary blinking, or any other sign that could indicate someone was hiding something. He had to wait for evening, when everyone congregated back for free dinner and booze.
After grueling conversations with six different people, none of whom had any ulterior motives other than either earning a buck or showing the other side who was right, the Janos of the day approached him. Remo knew it was Tom Janos, having slightly less of a tan and a left earlobe that hung just a fraction lower than his brother’s.
“Getting to know everybody?” Tom asked cheerfully. Remo let the twin steer him to a corner of the room away from the rest of the herd.
“Can’t help it,” Remo said. “I’m a people person at heart.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” Tom said with a forced smile. “I’m just worried about your father. I haven’t seen much of him.”
“He likes to stay to himself,” Remo said. “A good day for him is sitting in front of the television watching a marathon of his favorite soaps.”
“Soaps?” Tom asked. “Those things are still on?”
“Well, not here,” Remo said. “He can’t get them on the television or on my phone. The channel selection sucks and the wi-fi is crap.” Remo purposefully parroted Tom Janos’s overhead words to him to see if he could rattle the man.
He did.
“Remo, I need you to do me a favor,” he said. “A lot of the folks here, you can probably tell they’re not really all there. This is a paid vacation for most of them. But we need them, you know? To fill out the crowd, make it look like a real grassroots movement.”
“You mean it’s not?” Remo asked, feigning sincerity.
Tom Janos smirked. “Come on, Remo,” he said. “You’re a smart guy, I can tell. You can do better with yourself than carrying a sign and chanting a slogan.” He leaned in and whispered. “I’ve noticed two of the girls here, flighty things, have it pretty bad for you. Why not keep the money, and show them both a good time while everyone else goes to the protest tomorrow? You’d be doing me a big favor, really. Their hearts just aren’t into this, and I’m afraid one of them might get hurt, you know? I mean, you remember what happened to that girl in Little Rock.”
“Marissa Meyer,” Remo said, barely keeping the edge off his voice.
“Right,” Tom replied. “I would hate for something like that to happen to either of them. You can take care of them for me though, can’t you? A strapping man like yourself?”
Remo allowed himself a crooked smile. “I can take care of them,” he said.
Tom winked. “Good man,” he said. “I still want to see your dad out there, though.”
“You’re not afraid something violent will happen to him?”
“Oh no,” Tom said. “Are you?”
Remo smiled. “Not a worry in the world,” he replied truthfully.
“Good, good,” Tom Janos said, clapping Remo on the shoulder. “Tomorrow night is going to be one for the history books.”
· · ·
Tom Janos was right. Remo did need to take care of Mei and Ewe. There was, of course, the most expedient option, but that hardly seemed fair to either of them. Still, ducking each of them was a bother that he could do without.
Fortunately for Remo, the answer to his problem was self-evident. Rather than avoid them, he decided to get them both into the same room. He would confess to being a cad, and when they found out what had been going on, they would both be so angry with him that neither would want to see him ever again.
It was a good plan. He could see it all working as he made his way down the hallway, whistling. When he passed the door to Chiun’s room, the door opened, and the Master of Sinanju stepped out.
“It will not work,” he said calmly.
“What won’t work?” Remo asked.
“Whatever cockamamie plan you have concocted in that mush-filled cavity of a skull,” Chiun replied. “You always let out a tuneless wailing whistle whenever you think you are being clever. I take it as my duty to warn you when I see you are about to fail at something.”
“This isn’t like that, Little Father,” Remo said. He told him of his plan to let Mei and Ewe meet, get angry, and storm out, as Chiun nodded understandingly at each step of the plan.
“It will not work,” he repeated.
“Bulldookie,” Remo retorted. “Of course it will. You’ve just got to rely on letting jealousy and jilted hearts take their natural course.”
“Oh,” said Chiun. “I did not realize it was such a simple solution. No wonder your simple mind can understand it. Please, allow me to observe this behavior in action, that I may learn from your great and far-reaching wisdom.”
“Okay, you just called me both simple and wise in the same breath,” Remo said.
Chiun nodded. “One of those was sarcasm,” he responded. “I will leave it to you to work out which is which.”
Remo grunted, then walked down the hall to Ewe’s door. He thumped on it once, and she flung it open, eyes wide with glee. She went to leap on him once more, and he caught her on the shoulder, keeping her at arm’s length. “Whoa there,” he said. “I need to talk to you first. Come with me.”
He took her hand and led her down the hall to his room, the room where Mei had been staying since the afternoon she walked out of the refrigerator. Again he thumped the door. Mei opened it to greet him, then paused when she saw Ewe.
“Time to come clean,” Remo said, entering the room with Ewe in tow.
Mei slowly turned her head toward Ewe. “What do you mean?” she asked, her eyes smoldering dangerously.
“Remo, honey,” Ewe purred, looking the Mexican-Chinese girl up and down. “Who’s this foreign tramp?”
“Foreign?” Mei growled. “I was born in Los Angeles, you piece of white trash.”
“Ladies, please,” Remo said. “This is my fault. I’ve been playing both of you. But I can’t do it anymore. It’s weighing on my conscience.”
“Heh heh heh,” Chiun chuckled in the doorway. “Oh, this is very good. Continue, please.”
Remo shook his head. “Listen, I know it was wrong —”
A guttural sound was building deep in Mei’s throat. Ewe’s lips were peeling back, baring her teeth.
“— and I wouldn’t blame either of you if you never wanted to see me again. It’s on me. I’m just a bad person.”
“Bitch!”
“¡Puta!”
“He’s my man!”
“Not if I kill you for him!”
Both women dove for each other at the same time, nails out to strike.
Both missed. They seemed to pass through each other like ghosts, and each tumbled to the floor, arms and legs flailing.
When they stood up, the aged Master of Sinanju stood between them.
“Foolish women,” he said with rebuke. “Has the Master asked you to engage in gladiatorial games for his amusement? Has he directed you to damage each other?”
Both women blushed, feeling shame without fully understanding why.
“No,” Chiun continued. “He has not. And you dishonor him with your actions. You bring embarrassment upon his house with these jealous antics. This is not a seemly way to behave for courtesans of the Master of Sinanju.”
“Chiun, what are you doing?” Remo asked plaintively.
“Taming your concubines,” Chiun replied. “Something you are going to have to learn to do for yourself if you are intent on filling your seraglio. Mind you, it will not be in our house. Tell the Emperor you shall require an additional dwelling. I will not be tripping over women’s garments in my twilight years, nor shall I put up with constant prattling. Pay attention, so you can do this on your own when I am gone.”
“What’s a concubine?” Ewe asked, wrinkling her nose.
“You are,” Mei spat.
“Enough!” Chiun hissed. “Do you wish the Master to exile you and let you fend against the jackals?”
“Master?” Mei asked. “Who’s this ‘master’ person?”
Remo stepped forward. “I’ve got it from here, Little Father,” he said. “I think.”
Remo stood between Chiun and the girls, facing them. “Look,” he said. “When I met you, both of you, I didn’t really like either of you.”
Mei’s shoulders sank. Ewe’s eyes welled up and her lips quivered.
“But that was then,” Remo said quickly. “I did some things I really shouldn’t have done, and I’m very, very sorry about that. But I can’t have the two of you trying to kill each other, okay?”
He took each of them by a hand, rubbing his thumb into their palms in a circular motion. Both of the girls entered a state of immediate calm.
“It would make me really happy if the two of you could get along,” he said softly. “Can you do that? Look out for each other? Take care of each other?”
Ewe sniffled. “That would make you happy?”
“Blissful,” Remo said.
“But she’s…”
“For me,” Remo reiterated, a bit more sternly than he intended. Both girls sat up at attention as though they had been scolded by their father. “Okay?”
They both nodded.
“Now, no more fighting, got it?” he said. “You two could be good friends if you’d just get to know each other a little better. Got it?”
Again, they nodded.
“Good.” Remo looked to Chiun. The ancient master shrugged dismissively, but he did not give any reproof, which Remo took for approval. “Now I’m going to have to go away soon,” he told them. “Maybe even for a long time. There’s some bad stuff that may happen soon, and I want the two of you to keep each other safe. That means no protest march for either of you, understand?”
“Yes sir,” Mei nodded. Ewe took the other girl’s hand and nodded.
“You’re leaving us now?” Mei whined, standing. She stepped forward, catlike, pouting, and placed her palms on Remo’s chest.
“Not now,” Ewe added, joining her, wrapping her willowy arms around Remo’s bicep.
“Uh, ladies,” Remo stammered. He looked to Chiun, who turned for the door. “A little help here, Chiun?”
“Do not seek to involve me in your bacchanals,” Chiun said. “I have matured beyond such things.” He closed the door behind him, and Remo could hear him clucking with disappointment as he shuffled down the hall.
Both the girls pressed against him, expressing their desires to keep him with them for just a few more hours.
Remo let them.
· · ·
A few hours after midnight, Remo went to the roof once more, leaving Mei and Ewe snuggled against each other in the bed they shared, each of them too spent to fight, and each knowing the other more intimately than they had before.
He breathed in the chilly, pre-dawn air, taking in the sounds around him. There were hardly any towns that truly slept at night any more, and Arlington was certainly not one of them.
He sniffed at the air, and caught the cloying scent of coffee mixed with caramel, and an unhealthy amount of soy. Looking over the edge of the hotel, he saw the same bedraggled, bearded figure from the night before. His heart was racing, which was not surprising given the amount of caffeine that had to have been racing through his system.
“Whatever gets you through the night, I suppose,” Remo muttered to himself. He closed his eyes and turned his focus inward, meditating until just before sunup.