A month later, Joe arrived home from work one evening feeling happy and excited. He had really improved his relationship with some of his colleagues and had found himself understanding them a lot more. Just the night before, when they had all gone out for drinks after a presentation at the office, he had had the unexpected and welcome feeling that a few of them even looked up to him.
After he had made himself a cup of tea and sat down on the couch, he picked up his journal from the coffee table. He started reading through it, proud that he had implemented many of the skills and concepts he had learned only a few weeks before. From a work perspective, he had really made an effort and was reaping the rewards, including popularity, as a result. Of course, he still had to be careful and was fully aware that he would face challenges ahead, but he was content that he was getting better at figuring out the needs and desires of others, be they his colleagues, his superiors or his customers.
As Joe flicked through the pages of his journal, his thoughts moved to his girlfriend. This was the big day: the day that she was due to move in. Joe had applied many of the rapport skills that he learned to his communication with his girlfriend as well and found they were getting on much better as a result. Still, he knew that they were both on a high because she was moving in and the real challenge was to come.
Just then the door opened and his girlfriend walked in.
Joe’s immediate excitement at seeing her was tempered when he saw her face. Her eyes were red and she was crying. Joe stood up, unsure of what to do, as she made her way to the nearest chair and slumped into it. Straightaway, he started to think the worst. Frozen to the spot, he looked at her, searching for a sign that she had decided she didn’t want to move in, or, worse, to be with him anymore. He didn’t know what to think as she just curled over, put her head in her hands and sobbed. Every part of him wanted to ask her if it was about him, if she didn’t love him anymore, if she wanted to leave him.
But then he remembered what he had learned. For the first time in such a situation, he asked himself, How do you know it’s about you, Joe? Is everything in her life about you? Of course not. What does she need right now?
Marching straight over to her and putting his arms around her, he whispered in her ear, ‘I’m so sorry you’re upset, princess, but whatever it is we’ll get through it.’
Without warning, she grabbed him, held him tight and nestled her head into his shoulder. Through the tears, she started speaking.
‘Sorry, Joe. It’s just been a horrible day with the book. I’ve lost my creativity.’
‘What do you mean?’ Joe asked softly.
‘Well, I showed my agent a proposal for a new book and she hated it. She looked bored with it. Bored with me.’
That’s it? Joe thought to himself. That’s no reason to be so upset.
Fortunately, for the second time that evening, he had the sense to think twice before opening his mouth.
This isn’t about what you think. This is about her map of the world. To her it is a big deal.
‘Listen,’ he said, ‘I know it looks bad at the moment, but I’m very sure your agent decided to be your agent because she saw how much talent you had and viewed you as a really important author.’
His girlfriend looked up at him, wiping her eyes. ‘You really think so?’
Joe nodded with a smile. ‘I know so. You are incredible at what you do. Your first book was really good, you got an amazing publishing deal and you are so creative I know you’ll come up with a terrific idea for another book very soon. It’s just about seeing what you can do to look for more ideas that might work.’
Slowly, she nodded. She was no longer crying.
Joe continued, ‘Besides, remember, today is the most important day of your life: today you move in with the most handsome man in the world.’
She giggled. ‘But I thought I was moving in with you!’
Joe grabbed her and started tickling her, and they exploded into laughter.