Alicia backed her white Mercedes out of the driveway, and though she knew Levi was standing in the doorway of the house staring at her, she never looked at him. She drove away speechless and ashamed. It was as if she’d had some out-of-body experience and was in shock.
She continued down the street, turned left, rolled to the stop sign, and broke into tears. “Oh my God, what have I done? What…have…I…done?”
She sniffled and wiped her face with a tissue she pulled from her glove box and drove onto the main street. When she heard a loud honk, she noticed her car veering to the left and swerved it back into the center of the lane. She was so distraught, all she could do was pray she got home safely. How could she have betrayed Phillip with Levi again? She didn’t want to be this kind of person, a woman who allowed temptation to consume her, but there was something about Levi she couldn’t resist. For one, she never should have agreed to meet with him. She never should have taken any of his calls. But deep down, she’d wanted to hear his voice. Truthfully? She’d needed to hear it. Needed to see him. Touch him. Be held by him oh so gently, yet firmly. And yes, as wrong as it was, she’d desperately wanted to make love to him.
She’d told herself that she wouldn’t, but from the moment she’d laid eyes on him, she’d known it was going to happen. Her heart had begun racing, her body had heated up, and her nerves had whirled out of control. She’d missed him just as much as he’d missed her, and as soon as he’d kissed her, she’d known she was in trouble. It had been obvious that things were going to escalate and that there was a chance she wouldn’t be able to leave without sleeping with him. If only she’d followed her first mind and not answered her phone when he’d called her again. By now, she’d be in Mitchell with Phillip, and life would be good. She certainly wouldn’t have made the biggest mistake of her life. It was as if she hadn’t learned a thing from the last affair she’d had with Levi. This time she wasn’t married to Phillip, she was only engaged to him, but knowing that fact still wasn’t making her feel any better about what she’d done. She’d fornicated, committed another sin, and gone behind Phillip’s back with another man.
Alicia continued down the street and onto the highway that would take her back to her condo. She’d debated whether she should still go to Mitchell after all, but she just couldn’t face Phillip. Not now. So she drove along in silence, weeping profusely at times and wondering how she was going to get beyond this.
When she was a little less than ten miles from her home, her phone rang. Phillip’s name and number displayed across the dashboard of her car, and her nerves crept up a notch. She wasn’t sure what to do, so she held the steering wheel tight and swallowed hard. Thankfully, the ringing stopped. But then he called right back, and she knew she’d better answer.
She sniffled a couple of times, trying to regain her composure. “Hello?”
“Hey baby, how’s it going?” he said, and his words broke her heart. His tone was as upbeat and loving as always.
“Fine.”
“I hope I didn’t disturb you. The only reason I called back was because my phone dropped the call before I could leave a message.”
“No, I was taking a little break, and you don’t ever have to worry about disturbing me because when I’m reading or writing, I keep my phone on silent and in another room.”
“You sound like you’re in the car.”
“I am. Headed down to the convenience store to pick up some snacks. I was actually going to call you on my way back home.”
“I wish I was there to do that for you. That way you wouldn’t have to go out.”
“I know, but if you were here I wouldn’t get any reading done at all,” she said as silent tears seeped from her eyes. She worked hard not to sniffle or sound nasal. “Plus, I really needed some fresh air.”
“I can imagine. Have you gotten quite a bit read?”
“Not as much as I want, but maybe almost half,” she said, lying.
“That’s a lot. Do you think you’ll finish tonight?”
“I doubt it. Probably tomorrow sometime.”
“I really missed you today,” he said. “I’m getting to the point where I don’t even like to go a few hours without seeing you.”
“I feel the same way.”
“I didn’t think it was possible, but I love you more now than I did before.”
“I love you, too, baby.”
“I hope you mean that, because this is my last marriage. This time, when I say until death do us part, I’ll mean it literally.”
“So will I,” she said, swallowing more tears. “This is it for me, too.”
“Oh, and hey, my mom said she tried to call you earlier. Something about two more of our relatives she wants to add to the guest list. She knows the invitations have gone out, but I told her you wouldn’t mind sending them one.”
Alicia hadn’t bothered checking her phone for missed calls or messages, and now she wondered who else had called while she was with Levi.
“Of course. I’ll give her a call later today or tomorrow.”
“Just think,” he said, genuinely excited. “In two months, we’ll be heading to sunny Jamaica for ten whole days.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m really looking forward to it,” she said, wishing she could find an easy way to end their call. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could go without crying out loud.
“We’ll be all alone and able to catch up on all the lovemaking we’ve missed. Being celibate hasn’t been easy, but I’m glad we did the right thing.”
Alicia stopped at a red light and closed her eyes, replaying what she’d just done with Levi. She’d never felt more guilty in her life.
“Are you there, baby?” he asked.
“Yeah…um, I was just thinking about my manuscript and all the other stuff I need to get done this week.”
“I hear you. I have a lot on my plate, too. Are you almost home?”
“Yes, only a couple of blocks away.”
“Well, I’ll let you go, then. But call me tonight before you turn in.”
“I will,” she said.
“I love you, baby. With all my heart.”
“I love you, too.”
When the light turned green, Alicia proceeded through the intersection and sobbed massive tears. She couldn’t change what she’d done, but one thing was for sure. She would never see Levi again, and this time she meant it.