Melanie flipped on the master bedroom television and turned it to one of the news channels. She stretched her arms toward the ceiling and went into the bathroom. She’d drunk a lot of water yesterday, so she’d been going in there a lot. This was a good thing, though, because water always helped flush out toxins and excess fat.
She removed her pajamas, stepped on the digital scale, and waited for it to register. After only one day of being on her new diet regimen, she’d already lost two pounds. She knew it was water weight, but she was still thrilled about it because it meant she was making progress.
Melanie slipped on her above-the-knee terry-cloth robe and walked back into the bedroom. Brad had just come back up from running on the treadmill.
“Good morning,” he said, pulling the towel from around his neck and wiping his face.
“Good morning. You were up early.”
“Yep, since five o’clock. After you gave me all that good lovin’ last night, I slept like a baby and now I’m wide awake.”
Melanie shook her head, laughing. “Whatever.”
“I’m surprised you’re not downstairs working out yourself.”
“I think I’ll make some coffee first.”
“And you’re gonna drink it before you get on the treadmill?”
“Yeah, I read an article that said drinking coffee enhances your endurance, and it also maximizes your fat- and calorie-burning ability.”
“I guess. Oh, and hey, when I leave the office this evening, why don’t you meet me for dinner? A new steak restaurant opened a couple of weeks ago, and I heard it’s excellent.”
“I don’t know, maybe tomorrow.”
“Well, as much as I hate to tell you this, after today, I’ll be knee-deep in this new case.”
“Another big one so soon? And does this mean you won’t be home until late every night again?”
“Baby, I’m sorry, but you know I don’t have a choice.”
Melanie frowned. “I’m really tired of spending all these nights and weekends alone.”
“I understand that, but what can I do? Quit?”
“If that’s what it takes.”
“Baby, be serious. You know I can’t do that.”
Melanie moved toward the doorway. “Sometimes I feel like I don’t even have a husband.”
“So you’re just going to walk out right in the middle of our conversation?”
“What else is there to say?”
“Well, for one thing, it won’t always be this way.”
“It’s already been this way for a while, and if anything it’s getting worse.”
“I’m sorry, but as a senior-level partner I have certain responsibilities that I have to live up to. You know that.”
“I’m glad you’ve moved higher at the firm, but it’s not doing much good for either of us if we can’t spend any quality time together.”
“That’s why I at least want us to go out tonight and have a nice dinner.”
Melanie wanted more than anything to be with Brad, but she also thought about her pledge to drink a shake for her last meal of the day. “If you don’t mind, I’d rather not. I’m trying to cut back as much as I can.”
“You can order something healthy. Baked fish, veggies. I’m sure they have much more than steaks on the menu.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to be tempted by food I don’t need.”
“You’re not obsessing over your weight again, are you?”
“No, I just don’t wanna eat badly this week.”
“Okay, fine. We can just have dinner here. I can pick up something on the way home.”
Melanie hadn’t planned on telling him yet, but she figured now was as good a time as any. “Until I lose all this weight, all I’m having is a salad for lunch and protein shakes for breakfast and dinner.”
Brad raised his eyebrows. “Protein shakes? And that’s all?”
“That’s the plan.”
“Well, what weight is it that you need to lose exactly?”
“Brad, please. Don’t pretend you don’t see all these bulges.”
“I don’t.”
“You must be blind, then.”
“Wait a minute. Didn’t you say you had lunch with your mom yesterday? Was she trippin’ about your weight again?”
“It’s not about her. I decided to make these changes over the weekend.”
“Have you looked in the mirror lately? Because if you get any smaller, you’ll be skin and bones.”
“I only have eight more pounds to go.”
Brad dropped down on the bed. “Baby, why have you always been so unhappy with the way you look? Especially when you look fine. I mean, so what if you have a few bulges. I don’t see any, but if you do, you can fix that with toning.”
“I have to lose the weight first.”
“Is that why you still won’t change clothes in front of me? Why we never make love unless the room is dark?”
Melanie no longer wanted to talk about this. “Let’s just leave well enough alone, okay?”
“Baby, I’m not trying to upset you, but not wanting to be naked in front of your own husband isn’t normal. Especially when you don’t have a thing to be ashamed of. Plus, I wouldn’t care if you were thirty pounds overweight, I would still love you just the same.”
“I don’t expect you to understand.”
“I really don’t.”
“And you probably never will, but this is something I have to do for me.”
Brad raised his hands in defeat.
Melanie turned toward the doorway. “I’m heading downstairs. You want any breakfast?”
“Thought you were having a shake?”
“I am, but I can still make you something.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll get something on my way to the office.”
Melanie knew he was angry, but she left the room anyway. There was no sense arguing about something Brad couldn’t comprehend. He’d never had a weight problem and could eat whatever he wanted, so how could he possibly understand how she felt?
When she walked through the kitchen, she filled the coffeepot with enough water to make six cups and pushed the Start button. She was glad she’d already inserted the paper filter and poured in the coffee grounds the night before.
She took her multivitamin and then drank her premixed protein shake, which tasted delicious. So far so good. Yesterday, she’d stuck to her plan and she’d lost two pounds, and now she felt energized. She knew that once she finished her workout, she’d feel even better.
But suddenly, out of nowhere, her mother’s words struck her again and she didn’t feel so great. “You’re looking like a size ten again.” Melanie sat down at the granite island and thought back to her childhood. Her parents had argued all the time, and while she’d hated listening to them, it hadn’t compared to hearing the names her dad used to call her. Miss Tubby, Miss Butterball, and Mellie Melon. He would laugh out loud about it and hadn’t seen a thing wrong with what he was saying, and as Melanie had gotten older, her self-esteem had diminished little by little. Her mother had never thought those nicknames were all that funny, however, and almost daily, she’d been furious with Melanie for being so heavy. So much so, her mother bypassed nicknames altogether and had flat-out told her she was fat. It was a wonder she’d still had enough confidence and courage to get her bachelor’s degree in nursing and then two master’s degrees. First, she’d completed a master’s in nursing, and then she’d gone back to get a second master’s with nurse practitioner specialization. She’d been practicing for two years, and the blessing, too, was that even though she hadn’t had the best childhood, God had given her a wonderful husband and a career she loved.
Although, she had to admit, she was starting to worry about her marriage. It was bad enough that she and Brad rarely spent any special time together, but she also couldn’t totally get beyond his terrible investment decisions. Or maybe this was all her fault. Maybe he was taking on monstrous cases and spending more and more time away from home because he no longer found her attractive. As recently as Saturday, he’d told her she looked “perfect,” but she knew he’d only done so to make her feel good. Especially since she clearly didn’t look perfect and needed to lose weight. He also still hadn’t lost the desire to make love to her, but what man didn’t want sex? A man certainly didn’t have to love a woman or think she was beautiful in order to feel satisfied.
Melanie glanced over at the coffee, waiting for it to finish brewing. She tried thinking about the positive things going on in her life, but soon, she heard her mother’s “size ten” words again. She couldn’t stop replaying them, and she also remembered her mother’s warning, something she hadn’t focused on much until now: “…the last thing you need is to go losing him…appearances mean everything…you have a responsibility to keep yourself up.” Her mother’s voice was deafening, and Melanie’s mind was made up. Today, she wouldn’t even have a salad for lunch. She would go straight liquid for the next five days. She’d be down ten pounds—or more—in no time.