Chapter Fifteen
Alex sat back against the hospital-grade chair in the exam room, trying like hell to ignore both the bruises peeking out from beneath the sleeves of Zoe’s gown and the brows-up I-told-you-so taking over her pretty face.
At least her moxie was easier to handle.
“Are you happy now?” she asked, holding up the doctor’s release form and the disk containing her X-rays. “I’m one hundred percent fine and cleared for work.”
“Tomorrow,” he corrected. “The doctor said you should take it easy for the rest of today.”
Zoe smiled. “Right. I should’ve known you’d have an in at urgent care, too.”
“I know a couple of people on staff here, yes. . . .” He was a firefighter with adrenaline issues. Of course he was on a first-name basis with a doc or two. “And I might have particularly strong people skills. But come on, Zoe. As good as I am, I can’t finesse a medical diagnosis.”
“Fine,” she sighed, her shoulders rounding beneath the loose blue cotton of her gown. “But first thing tomorrow, we’re back in the kitchen.”
Alex’s gut shifted with unease, but he put it on hold. Arguing with Zoe right now wouldn’t get him farther than frustration, and anyway, she looked about as worn out as he felt. “Yeah, about that. If it’s okay with you, I can make up for my lost community service by coming in on Saturday.”
Her forehead creased into a delicate V. “You haven’t lost any time, Alex. Not only did you bring me here to get checked out, but you stayed for two hours while I got the all-clear. I know I fought you a little, but you still didn’t have to do any of that.”
A smile tempted Alex’s lips, and he gave in to it, if only halfway. “You fought me more than a little, Gorgeous. But you let me stay to make sure you were okay, even during your exam, and you definitely didn’t have to do that, either.” He’d made it clear that while personally walking her through the door was nonnegotiable, he’d wait in the reception area while she talked to the doctor, but she’d shocked him by turning him down.
“It didn’t bother me to have you stay; plus, I knew you probably wouldn’t take my word for it when I turned out to be fine. And”—Zoe broke off, twisting the floppy sleeve of her gown between the thumb and forefinger on her opposite hand—“I guess it was nice not to be alone.”
“Oh.” Eloquent, Donovan. Real suave. So much for his freaking people skills. “Well, in that case, I’m glad I was a pain in the ass.”
“Me too.” Her soft laugh loosened the tension on her face, and the sound prompted his thoughts into words without pause.
“Since I’m batting a thousand at being bossy today, what do you say I aim for the fence and insist on driving you home?”
“Won’t that leave you stranded in my neighborhood?” Zoe asked. But it didn’t escape his notice that she hadn’t said no, and screw it. He’d never been good at dancing around the truth.
“Yeah, but you live pretty close to the fire station, which means I can either hitch a ride home or hop on the subway. I know you can take care of yourself.” Alex pushed up from his chair, impulse and endorphins and something he had no name for moving him in front of her with mere inches to spare. “It’s just that right now, I don’t want you to, okay?”
Zoe’s eyes went warm and wide, but she didn’t pull back. “Okay.”
He slipped past the curtain hanging down from the ceiling, making sure the door was shut all the way so she’d have enough privacy to get dressed before going to wait for her in the lobby. She joined him a few minutes later, and although they didn’t say much as they traded the building for the parking lot, then the parking lot for her car, the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. In fact, by the time Zoe had guided him through the fifteen-minute drive uptown, Alex had gained back most of his easygoing calm.
And as long as he replaced his thoughts of Zoe’s bruises with the satisfaction of having knocked the man who had given them to her into next week, he just might keep it, too.
Zoe reached into her messenger bag, her keys ringing softly as she pulled them from the dark blue canvas. With a quick turn and click, she led the way past a pair of sturdy oak and glass doors, then through a brightly lit lobby lined with metal mailboxes and bulletin boards. A few dozen steps had them in the elevator, and a few dozen after that, she slid the key into the lock on a glossy black door marked 4B.
“I can’t guarantee that there aren’t any dust rhinos or unfolded laundry lurking about, but this is me.”
Alex’s curiosity jumped, but he covered it with a half shrug as he followed her past her tiny foyer and into a cozy, sun-filled living room. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel anything other than relaxed right now. Shit, she’d probably burned through her monthly allotment of adrenaline the minute she’d barked out Damien’s name from the door frame of the shelter.
Don’t think about it. Do. Not. Think about it.
“Dust rhinos, huh? Sounds pretty ferocious.”
Zoe lowered her bag from her unhurt shoulder, and bingo. Her smile slipped out. “Occupational hazard, I guess. Hope House keeps me pretty busy, and in the off hours that I am here, I’m either in the kitchen or asleep.”
“Didn’t anyone ever have that whole all work and no play conversation with you?” he teased, but even off her game, she was still razor-wire sharp.
“What, you mean the same way someone should probably have the whole pot, kettle, look who’s talking conversation with you? Come on, Alex. I think it’s pretty clear we’re both devoted to our jobs.”
“Yeah, you definitely proved that point this morning,” Alex said, the words crowding out before he could stop them. Zoe tensed, halfway across the carpet, and ah, fuck. Even though he meant every inch of what he’d said, calling her out after the morning she’d had was a pretty sizable dick move. He opened his mouth with every intention of telling her to forget it, but she spoke first, beating him to the punch.
“Before you read me the riot act, I know.”
Wait... “You what?”
She knotted her arms over the front of her gray button-down, which had to hurt under the circumstances, but still, she didn’t flinch. “I avoid being reckless the way most people avoid sinkholes and hand grenades. Believe me, I get that baiting Damien wasn’t the most well-thought-out plan.”
“No,” Alex agreed, slow and deliberate. “It wasn’t.”
Zoe’s chin lifted, just enough to broadcast the flash of determination in her amber-colored eyes. “But what was I supposed to do? That’s my kitchen, and when the residents are there, I’m responsible for taking care of them. No matter what.”
He crossed the floor, lowering his gaze to put her in his direct line of sight. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t have stood up for your residents, Zoe, or that you shouldn’t have taken a risk in order to do it. Hell, I’d have done the same exact thing.”
“You would?” she whispered, confusion sliding over her features. “But I thought you were mad that I tried to stop Damien.”
“I’m mad that you got hurt,” Alex qualified, inhaling past the tightness in his jaw. “But to answer your question, instead of trying to take on the world all by yourself, what you were supposed to do was let me help you.”
“Oh.” The word collapsed past her lips, a thin wisp of hair fluttering forward as she dropped her eyes. “I’m sorry. I guess I’m not used to having anyone in my corner like that. Not at Hope House, anyway.”
Alex paused, taking in the sweep of her lashes as she blinked, the barely there sigh behind her exhale. He’d thought Zoe’s brazen side was beautiful, but her mettle was really just the flip side of her tenderness.
God help him, he wanted her. All of her.
And if he couldn’t have her, the least he could do was have her back.
“Well, get used to it. It might only be for the next three weeks, but for as long as I’m at Hope House, you’re not going it alone.”
Zoe stood utterly still, her feet glued to the living room carpet and her heart doing a bang-up job of trying to break free from her chest. Her emotions had been through the blender today, she knew, but with Alex standing here in front of her with those impossibly blue eyes and even more impossibly enticing words on his lips, she didn’t just feel comforted.
She believed him.
“Thank you,” Zoe whispered. She tilted her face up, so close to Alex’s lightly stubbled jaw that one forward move from either of them would erase the space entirely. Her breath threaded through her lungs, shallow and hot. But at the last second, Alex squeezed his eyes shut and took a step back.
“You’re welcome. I really should go so you can get some rest.”
“No, please don’t.” The protest tripped out without her consent, but hell. Too late to pull it back now. “I mean, um. You’re not keeping me from anything. After all the drama of this morning, I doubt I’d be able to relax enough to take a nap. So, you know. You don’t have to go. Unless you want to.” Sweet God in heaven, she was botching this. But honesty was Alex’s number-one policy, and screw it. He’d already said he had her back. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t want to be alone, and I’d really like it if you’d stay for a little while.”
“Oh.” Alex’s brows slid upward. “Okay, sure. Are you hungry? I mean, our cooking lesson got cut short earlier, so I’m still not much good in the kitchen unless you want coffee or something microwaveable. But I can order something.”
“You know what, coffee sounds great, actually.” She motioned toward the kitchen, turning to lead the way with only a handful of steps. Crossing the threshold, she settled in at the stretch of slate countertop next to the fridge, tugging open the cabinet over the coffeepot to unearth a stack of tissue-thin filters from the shelf.
Alex cupped her elbow with one palm, capturing her attention and sending a bolt of warmth on a direct path between her hips. “You’re supposed to be letting me do that.”
“Ah. Right.” Zoe let out a soft laugh before handing over the filters. “Habit. But I really do feel fine.”
As if sensing her need to be more than an innocent bystander, he said, “Why don’t we split it? I’ll get the coffee started, and you get the mugs. Fair?”
“Fair.”
The rush of the water from the faucet became the rich, earthy scent of perfectly brewed coffee in less than five minutes, and Zoe handed over one cheery red mug while pouring healthy doses of both milk and sugar into the bottom of her own.
The muscles in Alex’s forearm twitched right along with the corners of his mouth as he filled her cup the rest of the way with coffee. “Not to be flip, but I hope you don’t like your men like you like your coffee. Nobody should be that sweet and blond.”
She opened her mouth to make a smart comeback—with that cocky look on his face, he had to know she would—but she trapped the words between her lips just shy of delivery.
Alex hadn’t stepped away from her a minute ago because he’d wanted to, just like he hadn’t turned her down the other night for lack of desire. He’d walked away because he thought he needed to.
And if they were going to get reckless, she’d have to make the first move.
Zoe sat down at the tiny breakfast table by the window, waiting for Alex to get comfortable in the chair across from her before meeting his eyes with a wide-open gaze. “Actually,” she said, purposely taking her time as she ran one finger around the rim of her mug, and oh hell, yes. His stare dropped to her hands and darkened. “While the blond part appeals well enough, I’m not really a fan of sweet men.”
He lifted his eyes, his focus lingering on her mouth for a long, hot second before returning to her gaze. “You’re not?”
Zoe sipped her coffee without breaking their eye contact. She knew she shouldn’t want him, with his rough edges and hot risks. But no matter how hard she tried to fight it, she couldn’t get past the truth.
Alex Donovan made her want to break all her rules. And oh, how she didn’t hate it.
“No,” she murmured. “See, I might’ve been raised as a bit of a golden child, but I was also taught to be tough. To go out and get what I want.”
“Zoe—”
She cut off his words with a lift of her hand, and oh God, the dark, wicked glint in his stare shot thrilling heat right between her legs. “I might not take many risks, but I don’t believe in sitting on the sidelines, either. I believe in doing things that matter. Things I want.”
“It’s been a crazy day.” Alex’s voice was all gravel, and she met it with the softest whisper as she stood.
“It has.”
He exhaled a hard breath as she moved right next to him, until he had no choice but to turn in his chair to bring them knee to knee. “Your emotions are all over the place, Zoe. It’s a natural reaction to the adrenaline.”
She pushed his shoulders against the backrest of his chair, tightening her palms and widening her stance to slide first one leg, then the other over his lap. “You keep telling me that.”
Alex groaned, his hands finding her hips and turning to fists over the denim there. “You’re hurt. I should go.”
“I’m perfectly fine.” Zoe pressed forward against his unmistakable erection, her nipples tightening at the hot, decadent friction. “You should stay.”
“We can’t do this,” he said, even as he thrust against the cradle of her hips, and Zoe cupped his face, her heart locked in her throat.
“Are you saying you don’t want to?”
“No.” Alex’s answer arrived tipped in steel, matching his stare. “Jesus, Zoe. I’ve wanted this all goddamn week.”
“Then take it, because I want you, too. Just me and you. Right now.”
He reached up, knotting his hands in her hair to pull her close, and Zoe gave in to the move without hesitation. With the higher vantage point of being seated in his lap, she slanted her mouth over his, brushing the soft skin of his lips with a featherlight kiss. Alex arched beneath her, pressing up to increase their contact without deepening the connection of their mouths. He looped his arms around her shoulders, taking care to avoid the back of her bruised arms as he held her fast to trace the outline of her lips with his own. Teasing her mouth open with a slow sweep of his tongue, he explored the curve of her lower lip, sucking and testing and making her breathless as he took in every nuance. Her mouth parted wide on a gasp, and Alex slid his fingers to the back of her neck, loosening her hair from the knot at her nape until the waves spilled over her shoulders to cover them both.
“Do you know what I see in my mind’s eye when I call you Gorgeous?” he asked, putting just enough gentle pressure against the column of her neck to tilt her head to one side.
“No.” The word trembled out of her, her breath going even tighter in her lungs as Alex skimmed a touch from her ear to the divot of her throat, then followed the path with his tongue.
“I see you like this. Hot.” His fingers found the tiny buttons on the front of her shirt, slipping the top one open with a muted rustle. “Sweet.” Another button fell loose, her nipples pearling harder in anticipation. “Brash.” His gold-blond lashes arced lower, and he thumbed one more button free from between the swell of her aching breasts. “Wide open and honest.”
Zoe dropped her chin, her pulse pushing faster and faster as she watched Alex undo the rest of the buttons to reveal her black lace bra. “God damn,” he whispered, his breath spilling into the hot expanse of her skin. “You really are gorgeous.”
“Then touch me.” The request flushed her cheeks. But something about Alex, about the way he was looking at her with both reverence and pure, wicked intention, had drawn the words right past her lips, and sweet God, she’d never felt want like this in her life.
Alex’s hands shaped her waist and tightened. “Be sure.”
“I am,” Zoe said, dropping her mouth to his in promise.
“I want this, Alex. I want you.”
His fingers glided up to splay wide around the back of her rib cage, and she arched into his touch. Cupping the bottom edge of her bra with his thumbs, he lowered his mouth to her breastbone, slowly kissing his way down the V of her cleavage. Zoe’s head tipped back, the ache in her nipples bordering on sweet pain as Alex freed the clasp nestled in the center of the black lace. He trailed a line of soft kisses down the midline of her body, pausing to show the curve of her breasts the attention of both his lips and his tongue. The rasp of his stubble sent tiny shock waves straight to her core, and Zoe thrust against him, wanting even more.
But Alex wouldn’t be hurried. “Look at you. Look how pretty you are in the sunlight.” He pulled back from her body, but only enough to let the natural light pouring in through the curtains spill over her breasts and his hands. He grazed one flushed pink nipple with the pad of his thumb, and she bit down on her keening sigh, too late.
Alex’s eyes glittered. “You blush everywhere, don’t you?”
Zoe writhed beneath his touch, so agonizingly close to where she needed it. But then something unraveled, deep in her chest, and it welled up on a seductive smile. She pushed him against the ladder back of his chair, relishing the flash of surprise that parted his lips. Emboldened by his expression, Zoe slid her shoulder blades together, letting the edges of her shirt fall open over the tops of her arms, exposing her body all the way to the low rise of her jeans.
“If you want to see all the places I blush, go ahead and find them.”
His mouth was on her in an instant, hard and unyielding as he pulled her nipple past the heat of his lips. The friction sent a tug to the center of Zoe’s thighs, and Alex swirled his tongue even harder, as if he felt her need by mere contact. Unable to hold back, she rocked against his hips, the damp center of her body pressing tight to his cock despite the layers of clothing between them. Every thrust sent sparks to her core, every pass of his lips urging the sparks into flame, until finally, Zoe’s breath became short, honeyed moans.
“Watch.” Alex ran his tongue along the very tip of her nipple, moving away just far enough to growl the word against her breast.
She blinked, still caught in the haze of want building low in her belly. “What?”
“You’re gorgeous,” he said, repeating the openmouthed kiss on her other side. Slowly, his hands traveled up, cupping her face and tilting her line of sight to her breasts, then lower to the spot where her jeans slid over his visibly hard cock. “I want you to watch me make you come.”
Locking one hand over her hip, he guided her back into rhythm at the same time he returned to her nipple, a slow, dark smile edging the corners of his mouth as he met her eyes and held. The sight of his intensity tripled the sensation pulsing through her, the sunlight illuminating the sinful ministrations of his lips and teeth and tongue making it that much more forbidden, and oh God, oh God, if he stopped, Zoe was sure she’d die.
“Alex.” Release uncoiled, low and hot between her hips, but he didn’t pull back.
“Gorgeous.”
Reaching down low, Alex hooked his palm beneath her thigh, opening her further as he pushed against her heat through the layers of denim. The change in angle coupled with the sweet pressure from both his mouth and his cock, and together they sent her right over the edge.
“Oh.” Zoe’s orgasm crashed over her in wave after wave, the pleasure of it enough to draw laughter from her chest. She threw her head back as she arched the rest of herself forward, not willing or able to lose the connection Alex had given her from hips to breast. He scaled back his touches in slow sweeps, bringing her back down to earth gently, but the only thing Zoe could get past her lust-drenched mind was that she wanted more.
This time, she wanted to watch him.
“Follow me.” She shifted off Alex’s lap, mourning the loss of their connection for only a second before she pulled him from his chair. Moving down the hallway, she led him to her bedroom, not stopping until they’d crossed the threshold and reached the foot of her bed.
Alex paused, pressing a soft kiss to her mouth before drawing back to look at her. “You know we can’t undo this.”
Zoe nodded, reaching down to lift the hem of his T-shirt over his chest, then his shoulders, before guiding it all the way off. “I do.”
Her fingers traced the top edge of her jeans, a bright ribbon of desire uncurling in her core at the way he watched her slide the denim over her thighs.
“And you’re still sure,” he said, hissing out a low oath as Zoe turned her focus to his button fly. She ran her palm over the length of him, stroking his cock with one hand while undoing the buttons with the other.
“I am.”
In a tangle of hurried movements, they undressed each other to the bare essentials, although Zoe kept her open shirt loose around her shoulders. Still standing in front of her bed, she lowered Alex’s boxer briefs, kneeling down in front of him to trail her fingertips over his hips. She wrapped her fingers around his cock, pumping once, then twice before following her fingers with her tongue. Alex threaded a hand through her hair, tension thrumming beneath his skin as Zoe parted her lips over his crown to draw him into her mouth.
“Zoe.” Her name was a prayer even as he grated it out. His exhales turned fast and heavy, and she adjusted the glide of her mouth to meet each one. Letting her gaze drift upward, she caught Alex’s stare, his eyes glinting with so much intensity and raw want that they were practically molten. But his pleasure just made her own longing rebuild, fast and unrelenting between her legs, and she continued to stroke him with her hands and mouth, all the way from root to tip.
“Come here,” he finally said, interrupting her motions with a swift yet gentle grab. Bending low to hook his arms beneath hers, Alex lifted her to her feet, holding her there for only a second before pressing her back against the middle of her bed. Pausing for the scant moment it took to search his discarded clothes and take a condom from his wallet, he returned to her side, sheathing himself and dividing the cradle of her hips with his frame. Her panties disappeared from her hips with a quick slide, and Alex leaned forward to bracket her shoulders with both palms.
“Alex.” Zoe lifted her hips, searching. Her aching core brushed along his cock, her nipples re-hardening to tight points as she let her knees fall wide in encouragement. “Please.”
He reached between them, sliding a finger along her seam before testing her heat with a moan.
“Don’t wait,” she whispered, her muscles clenching, begging for more.
Alex shifted forward, filling her with a long, slow thrust, and Zoe’s breath flew out on a gasp. She stilled, her body adjusting to the tight fit of his cock inside her and the flood of sensuality that went with it. He drew back just slightly, creating the perfect combination of pressure and friction inside her core. The second push grew deeper, guiding them into a cadence of thrusts and retreats that heated Zoe’s blood. With every motion, Zoe crested higher, thrust faster, wanted more. Her fingers curled around Alex’s hips, and he shifted to balance the bulk of his weight on one forearm, dipping a hand between their bodies to slip the pad of his forefinger deep into the folds at the top of her sex.
“That’s it. Christ, you’re so hot like this.” His murmurs kept time with her moans, and God, even his voice made her want to come. He circled the slick bundle of nerves above while thrusting hard into her body below, and with one last press forward, Zoe flew apart. For a minute, she was weightless, wrapped in pure pleasure and calling out Alex’s name. He lessened his movements, but despite the riot of sensations still pumping all the way through her, Zoe wrapped her hands around his lower back to keep him deep inside her.
“I like you right here,” she said, tipping her hips until there was no space at all between their bodies. Alex tensed, biting down on his bottom lip as she lifted to meet him again. But then he covered her chest with his, angling forward to kiss her as their rhythm grew stronger, and Zoe couldn’t hold back. Opening her knees as wide as they would go, she knotted her legs around his corded waist, matching him thrust for thrust until it was impossible to tell who gave and who took.
“Ah, God.” For a second, he slowed, shifting his body almost to the point of withdrawing completely, but Zoe reached up to cup his face.
“Alex, watch.” She tilted her hips, the movement sliding his cock deeper into her aching center, and his eyes glittered, nearly midnight blue with lust and want. Sliding her palms over the strong line of his cheekbones, she guided his gaze to the spot where their bodies joined. “Watch me make you come. And don’t hold back.”
Zoe rocked against him, her hips canting off the bed in a heated rhythm that sent spirals of pleasure from her belly to the deepest part of her core. Alex moaned, framing her shoulders with both hands as he thrust back once, then again, filling her completely. His ministrations became faster, more purposeful, until the tension in his muscles broke loose, signaling his climax with one last shuddering push.
For a second, a minute, an hour—Zoe had no concept of passing time—they lay in a twist of limbs and heated breath, until finally, Alex slipped from the bed to clean up. He returned just as quietly, and she braced herself for the awkward aftermath that surely had to follow.
Only it never did.
“You okay?” Alex asked, skinning back into his low-slung jeans before pulling aside her rumpled bedcovers, guiding her under the quilt with a gentle nudge.
“Yeah, absolutely.” The answer defaulted out of Zoe’s mouth, fundamentally true and yet also inaccurate. Things like store-bought cookies and B-grade movies were okay. The mind-altering, pulse-scrambling, multiple-orgasm sex they’d just had?
So far past okay that the two syllables seemed pretty much ridiculous.
“Good.” He righted her shirt all the way around her frame, redoing the buttons and pulling her close. The afternoon sun slanted in past the blinds, scattering just enough golden light around them to be cozy but not blinding. Alex’s body was warm and strong on hers, with his arms wrapped around her and his breath spilling over the crown of her head in long, drawn-out exhales. Zoe meant to say something, to get up, to move in some way, but with each rise and fall of her chest, her body unwound, her mind starting to drift.
You’re supposed to let me help you.
It was the last thing she thought before falling asleep.