For the past two weeks, I had been on a heart-breaking mission. It didn’t take long for me to figure out what had been going on with Monai. When I saw her having dinner with her ex-boyfriend, Demetrious, I knew right away what was up. Their conversation appeared very intense. I examined them from afar that day; she appeared to yell at him and even get emotional when his voice went up a few notches. Then, I saw him comforting her, kissing her forehead and trying to attack her lips. She wouldn’t allow it, but her actions didn’t make me feel good. I hadn’t said one word to her about what I had witnessed. It surprised me that she carried on with me like everything between us was perfect. She was the aggressor when it came to us having sex. She’d told me she loved me more often than usual, and just last night, she surprised me with my favorite dish for dinner, Lasagna. I predicted she would soon tell me what was up; she didn’t appear to be the kind of woman who could keep a secret like this for long. I still had faith that there were plenty of good women out there, but I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t a setback for me. I guess I was more understanding about these kinds of things than most people were. Sometimes, I understood why people made stupid mistakes. The lies, however, hurt. They cut deep; deeper than I was willing to admit. I kept telling myself it would be easy to walk away, if I had to. But there was no doubt that walking away from Monai wouldn’t come as easy as I wanted it to.
As I stood on my balcony, looking at tourists visiting the Gateway Arch, my thoughts were interrupted by my ringtone. I knew it was Monai, so I went inside and picked up my cell phone from the counter. The second I answered, I heard her sexy voice.
“Baby, I’m so sorry, but I’m going to have to cancel our plans for tonight. I still have three houses to show, and one couple is adamant about seeing one of those new penthouses on the Southside. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow. Maybe we can go see a movie or maybe even drive to Chicago for the weekend to see your mother. You mentioned that you wanted to go see her, didn’t you? I don’t have any plans, whatsoever, after tonight.”
I cleared my throat and curiously stroked the hair on my chin. “No problem, sweetheart. Handle your business, and I’ll let you know if I decide to go see my mother. Let me call her first and get back to you, alright?”
“Okay. I love you and don’t forget to call me. I don’t care how late it is, just be sure to call and let me know what’s up.”
“Will do and I love you too.”
After our call ended, I sat on a stool, thinking about how to handle this unfortunate situation. I suspected that Monai wasn’t showing any houses tonight. If I’d put some money on it, I was sure that she was going somewhere to hook up with Demetrious. I wanted to bring my concerns to her attention, cut ties with her and walk away. Those were my intentions, but first, I needed so badly to catch her in the act. I wanted to know if she would choose him over me. What would she say, if she got busted and had to explain her lies? I had to see the expression on her face, and until I saw her reaction, satisfaction for me wouldn’t come.
Refusing to wait a minute longer, I grabbed my car keys from the counter and jetted. While driving, I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel and bobbed my head to the Hip Hop music that blasted through the speakers. The lyrics helped me clear my mind; they also enabled me not to think about the pain I was feeling inside. I dreaded what the end result would be, and that punch in my gut kept coming back-to-back. The last thing I wanted was for things to be over with between me and Monai. But I could never continue on in a relationship with a woman who was creeping behind my back. Even if she’d had a reasonable explanation, playing with my emotions like this wasn’t good. None of this felt good; I wouldn’t wish this feeling on my worst enemy.
I parked my car down the street from Monai’s house so I could follow her if she left. My level of pain rose when I saw her leaving her house, completely dolled up in a mini-skirt with polka dots on it. Her sexy top had a plunging neckline that exposed her firm breasts, and her strappy high heels confirmed that showing houses tonight wasn’t in the plan. With a furry handbag in her hand, she got into her car and sped away. She seemed to be in a rush, and as she swerved in and out of traffic to get to her destination, I followed closely behind her. Fifteen minutes later, she parked her car at an Italian restaurant near Forest Park. I saw her call someone, before strutting inside with her head held high. Five minutes later, Demetrious arrived driving a Tesla. He was casually dressed in dark jeans and black, V-neck T-shirt. A necklace with diamonds on it hung from his neck, and with dreads hanging inches passed his shoulders, I couldn’t help but to think how the two of us were like night and day. I suspected that nothing too interesting would happen between the two of them during dinner, but I waited and wondered what would happen afterward.
As soon as I leaned my seat back to relax, I picked up my cell phone to text Monai. I was eager to see if she would reply.
BABY, I MISS U. I HATE U CANCELED AND IS THERE ANY WAY WE CAN HOOK UP LATER TONIGHT? TOMORROW SEEMS LIKE A LONG TIME AWAY. PLUS I MAY GO TO CHICAGO ALONE. WANT TO SEE U BEFORE I GO AND TASTING U SOUNDS SO GOOD RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
Nearly five minutes later she replied: I MISS U 2 BUT I CAN’T GET AWAY 2NIGHT. TOMORROW FOR SURE AND U ARE NOT GOING TO CHICAGO ALONE. IM GOING WITH U. BESIDES, I WANT SOME GARRETTS POPCORN. LOL SEE U TOMORROW.
I quickly replied: TONIGHT, OKAY? COME OVER AFTER YOU’RE DONE SHOWING HOUSES. I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR U AND TRUST ME WHEN I SAY U WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT IS.
It took her ten minutes to respond this time. I’LL TRY BUT DON’T COUNT ON IT. THE PEOPLE WHO IM SHOWING ONE HOUSE TO HAVE JUST ARRIVED. GOTTA GO. LOVE U!
After that message, I didn’t bother to respond. I called my mother, just in case I decided to take a trip to Chicago tomorrow.
“What you doing, Mama?” I asked. “You busy?”
“Never too busy to talk to my favorite son, but that’s because I only have one.”
Hearing her voice made me smile. “Are you sure about that? I mean, you didn’t pop out no other babies I didn’t know about, did you?”
“Listen, your big head self was enough. After all that pain you put me through, I promised myself I would never have another child. I should have, but you were a handful.”
“Yes I was, but look at me now. You couldn’t ask for a better son.”
“No, I couldn’t, and I’m so happy and thankful that God blessed me with you.”
“I’m thankful that he blessed me with you too. I just wanted to let you know that I may be coming your way tomorrow. I kind of want to see you. Haven’t seen you in almost three months.”
“That’s because you’ve been giving all my time to Monai. How’s she doing and will she be coming with you?”
“I’m not sure yet, but if she decides to we’ll be there tomorrow evening. Until then, make sure you hook up a roast for me. And just so you know, I’m in dire need of one of your sweet potato pies. I also have good news about my foot, but I’ll tell you more about it when I get there.”
“That sounds good. So does the roast. I’ll be sure to season it to perfection for you, and don’t be surprised if it’ll all be gone before you get here.”
She laughed and so did I. “Whatever, Mama. Love ya and see you tomorrow.”
“Love you too.”
I smiled hard as I hit the end button. And just for a few more minutes, the pain I’d felt inside from Monai’s betrayal had dissipated. I was even more relieved when I saw her leaving the restaurant. She seemed to be in a rush; I figured something had gone wrong. Maybe she was on her way to my place. I hurried to lift the seat, but as I started my car, I saw Demetrious exit the restaurant. A smile was washed across his face, and before Monai drove off, he winked at her. She smiled back and nodded her head. The queasy feeling in my stomach was back again, my throat ached badly. I waited until Demetrious pulled off, before following him.
For a Friday night, the streets were busy. College students from Washington University were hanging out, and there were still numerous people riding bikes and jogging in the park. I was lucky, though, that Demetrious hadn’t traveled far. Monai’s car was in front of his, and they parked in a secluded area in the park, seeking privacy. I whipped my car around to make a detour in another direction. It was nearly pitch dark in the area they’d parked in, with the exception of a hint of light coming from the only street light that wasn’t broken on the block. I parked my car a block over from where they were and climbed a grassy hill so I could see the two of them in action. From a short distance, I had a clear view of them standing near a pond while facing each other. In no way could I hear what was being said, and if I moved any closer, I feared they would see me. For now, I stayed put. I could feel a sheen of sweat building on my forehead and my lips felt dry. The second Demetrious’ arms went around Monai’s waist, my legs weakened. She moved back, as if she was trying to keep him at a distance. But if that was her intention, why did she willingly direct him to a secluded area like this?
My question was answered minutes later. She was ready for action. I squinted and saw them move closer and kiss. I witnessed his hands ease up her skirt and grip her ass. I had a front-row seat as he sat her on top of a bench and placed himself in between her legs. I wasn’t sure if he had entered her, but when loud grunts escaped from her mouth, apparently, he was in there. I didn’t need to see or hear any more of the festivities. Besides, something inside kept telling me to chalk up my loss and simply walk away. I was too damn frustrated to do that. My hands were trembling, heart felt shattered into a thousand pieces and my eyes were filled with tears. Many people believed that men didn’t hurt. We did, and, sometimes, it felt worse than anyone could ever imagine. I didn’t deserve this shit. I had always treated the women in my life exactly how I treated the number one woman in my life—my mother. I just didn’t understand what some women wanted, particularly Monai. I guessed her physical needs hadn’t been met, and as her grunts echoed, it was evident that who she wanted was Demetrious. I whispered “fuck it” and turned to walk away. By the time I’d gotten to my car, I was a mess. I didn’t think that seeing the two of them in action would damage me as much as it had; I felt destroyed. A side of me felt like I needed to confront them. I needed Monai to see me and make a decision right here and now. More than anything, I needed to stop this shit from happening. How in the hell could I walk away and allow another man to have his dick inside of my woman’s pussy? I wasn’t a punk. The army taught me to stand up and be a man. Before my father passed away, he’d taught me the same thing too. There was no question that if it had been him in this predicament, he would’ve faced this head on. He would’ve demanded an explanation and beat the shit out of any man who interfered in his relationship. In knowing so, I opened the car door and rushed over the hill again. I was sure to take my cane with me, just in case shit turned ugly and I needed it to handle my business. I didn’t need it to walk, though, and as I moved quickly over the hill, I could now see Monai on her knees, giving Demetrious head. He was on the bench while resting back on his elbows. His head was dropped back, dreads fell over his face. This time, he was the one moaning and groaning. He had her right where he wanted her, and with her braids tightened in his hands, he pulled them.
“Suck that muthafucka good, baby. You treating my shit like royalty!”
Neither of them saw me moving swiftly across the street, and from a few feet away, I expressed my anger.
“You heard him. Suck it, and I hope it tastes damn good to you. Crown his ass and please don’t stop on my account.”
Monai was so shocked to see me. Her eyes were bugged; she stumbled backwards as she stepped away from Demetrious. His head jerked to the side. A smirk was on his face; it remained there as he removed himself from the bench and pulled up his jeans. I kept my eyes fixed on Monai. Since she hadn’t said a word, I demanded some answers.
“You mean to tell me you have nothing to say for yourself.”
She touched her chest and rubbed it. “I . . . I don’t know what to say, other than I’m sorry. I was going to end this tonight, I promise. I told Demetrious this was the last time this would ever happen between us. He knows who I want to be with. It’s you, but I . . . I just didn’t know how to deal with some of the things I’d been feeling.”
I shrugged my shoulders, wanting so badly to slap the shit out of her. Spit sprayed from my mouth as yelled. “To me, it looks like you know damn well how to deal with your feelings! I can’t believe this shit, Monai. How can you stand there and tell me you were trying to end this after what I saw?”
She stepped closer to me, trying to plead her case with tears trapped in her eyes. I stepped back, just so she wouldn’t be within my reach. With his semen making her lips appear glossy, it took everything I’d had in me not to lunge out at her and cause major damage.
“I promise you I was trying to end it,” she said. “I wanted to so badly, and I regret doing this. It will never happen again. I am done with Demetrious. He knows we can’t go on like this.” She looked at Demetrious to reiterate her words. “I mean it this time. Stop calling me, okay? No more dinners, no more anything. Just let me be. You know who I love. I already told you what was up with me and Nate. I love him and I don’t want to lose him over this.”
That devious smirk was locked on Demetrious’ face. He shook his head as he looked at Monai trying to defend her actions.
“Mo, I’m about to throw yo hot ass under the bus!” he yelled. “The same ass that you put before me, time and time again, so I could bust that shit wide open. Don’t stand there and play me like I didn’t mean shit to you. You’re the one who told me I could hit that pussy whenever I wanted to, you’re the one who told me how much you still loved me, and you’re the one who told me, just the other day, you would consider leaving Nate. Are you saying now that you lied?”
“It was all a lie,” she rushed to say. “I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings. And even though I’d said some of those things, I also told you how I felt about Nate. Didn’t I?”
Demetrious’ face twisted. He pointed his finger at Monai and raised his voice again. “I don’t give a fuck what you told me, bitch! Your actions speak louder than words and you know damn well you’re the one who begged me to come here with you tonight and fuck you! According to you, this place was special, remember? It was the first place we hooked up, so get the hell out of here with that shit you talking. Take that handicapped muthafucka with you, or better yet, take his ass somewhere to get some therapy so he can walk straight.”
His insults made my blood boil. I ignored Monai and turned to him. “I’ll take your advice and get all the therapy I need while kicking your ass for insulting me.”
Before I could rush him, Demetrious rushed toward me. By then, I had lifted my cane and smacked him across the face with it, breaking the cane in half. He staggered backward with rage in his eyes. It wasn’t long before he charged me again, but this time I had to resort to my fists. Blow after blow, I lit up his midsection with hard punches that probably felt like bricks coming at him. He seemed surprised by how I was able to go toe-to-toe with him, even after he’d caught me with an uppercut to the chin that made my teeth pinch my lips. I could taste blood stirring in my mouth, but as one of my punches dropped him to his knees, Monai’s loud cries for us to stop became louder and louder.
“I’m not worth it,” she hollered. “Please stop this before someone gets seriously hurt!”
I ignored her request. To me, this wasn’t even about her anymore. It was about him. He was the one who deserved this, and as he lay on the ground, I pounded his face with my fists, stomped his ass and smashed his head against the concrete.
“Seems like this therapy is working out for me,” I bragged with pleasure while breathing hard. “Thanks for suggesting it.”
Demetrious covered his face to block my blows, but the damage had been done. His face was swelled, nose and mouth were gushing blood. I had some major injuries too, but in the moment, my body was numb. Numb all over so I couldn’t feel much pain.
“Come on, baby,” Monai cried out as she reached for my arm, trying to pull me away from Demetrious. My shirt was ripped, but she ripped it more as she pulled on it. “Let’s gooooo. I want to go now. We can talk this out at home. Pleeease stop this!”
Talk this out my ass. I was done. Done with her, done with him. He swayed back and forth on the ground, moaning while in severe pain. And after he spit more blood from his mouth, I had the nerve to feel sorry for his ass. I was so disgusted by what had happened—all I could do was walk away. The numbness in my body had started to subside, and I was feeling more throbbing pain, especially in my foot and leg where Demetrious had kicked me. As I rushed away, Monai followed after me, pleading for me to forgive her.
“I hope you believe me when I tell you how deeply sorry I am about all of this. I never wanted this to happen, Nate, and I apologize for putting you in a predicament like this.”
I ignored her and kept on walking to my car. Though I was still in excruciating pain, both physically and mentally, I didn’t want her to see me like this. Tears were at the rims of my eyes, my head hurt so badly that it felt like it was about to explode. I’d had high hopes for our relationship, and I was saddened that it had resorted to this.
“Nate, please listen to me.” Monai grabbed my arm and tried to spin me around to face her. “Stop for a minute, please.”
I stopped and swung around to face her. The look in my eyes was cold as ice. I had never put my hands on a woman, but she was about to catch hell and unleash a beast, if she didn’t let me be. I spoke through gritted teeth, making myself very clear to her.
“We’re done, damn it! There is nothing you can say to me after what I just saw. Not one word, Monai, and I don’t care how long you stand there, trying to convince me how much you love me. If doing what you just did with him is considered love, fuck it! Keep that shit because I don’t want it.”
I spat a gob of blood from my mouth, before storming away again. When I made my way over the hill, my leg and foot were hurting so badly, I dropped to one knee. She rushed up to me, trying to help.
“I got you,” she said, tearfully. “Stand up and go home with me. Let’s go home.”
I pushed her away and shot her a mean gaze that warned her to back up. “I’m not going any fucking where with you. Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”
“I do,” she said still following me to my car. “I hurt you and I will never do it again. People make mistakes, Nate. If I could take this back I would.”
I yanked my car door open and plopped inside. My breathing was heavy, and as I snatched up the suede ring box next to me, I threw it at her.
“I wish like hell I could take that back!” I shouted. “I’m not going to give you another chance to make this mistake again, and for the last time, Monai, it is over!”
Tears poured from her eyes as she bent over to pick up the ring box. Her hands shook as she held it; her pleas got louder.
“Yes,” she said. “Yes, I will marry you. I will be the best wife ever and no one will ever come between us again. Let’s start our family and . . .”
“No!” I replied. “You keep that stupid ring. I hope it reminds you every day what a fucking fool you had. I trusted you and truly believed in us. This is so fucked up, and how in the hell could you do this to me?”
I slammed my hand against the steering wheel, and as Monai kept talking, her words angered me. Unable to control myself, I rushed out of the car to do something to make her go away. I didn’t want to hear anymore, but the second my foot hit the pavement, I heard screeching tires heading in our direction. Monai and I turned our heads, and seeing that it was Demetrious, she yelled for me to move out of the way, fearing that he would hit me.
“You move,” I shouted, fearing that he would run her over. In no way did that happen. Instead, Demetrious slammed on the brakes, causing his car to skid right in front of us. He lifted something in his hand. I didn’t know what it was, until he started spraying bullets that whistled loudly and hit his main target—me. I felt a burning sensation rip throughout my body, and with each second that passed, I could hear Monai’s cries fading. I could hear bullets break through the steel in my car, and the next thing I’d heard was Demetrious’ harsh words.
“That’s how I conduct therapy, muthafucka! Say what’s up to the devil for me.”
My vision was blurred. I slowly crawled on concrete pavement, forcing myself to stay alive. After I’d heard another blast and felt severe pressure in my head, there was no more pain.