“YOU’RE...WHAT?” REAGAN ASKED, not sure that she’d heard Kainan correctly. “You’re a king? The Hermosian King? I thought he died?”
Kainan sighed and turned to look away.
“Dr. Laskaris?” Michael asked.
Andreas stepped forward. “He became King when his brother King Aleksander the Seventh died after an explosion in the palace. As you’re all aware, King Aleksander’s rule was tenuous, at best...”
Kainan spun back round, and there was a fire in his dark eyes that scared her.
I am King. My brother is dead and I am the missing King, he signed.
Reagan frowned. “The name Laskaris isn’t associated with the Hermosian crown, and you told me when we first met that your family was from Greece.”
Kainan sighed. My mother was born in Greece. Isla Hermosa was founded by the Spanish and the Greeks. The name Laskaris is tied to the Hermosian crown, but it is kept for the “spares.” Like me. I didn’t want to change it when I became King. I am still Dr. Laskaris.
There was a sadness to his expression which softened her a bit. It was apparent that he wasn’t happy with his new position in his country.
“You were injured in an IED blast?” Reagan asked. “At the front?”
Yes. I was injured trying to save my brother, but that was for nothing. He died after the explosion. I am the last of my line, so the Canadian government thought it prudent to take me away from my country. They brought me here, where I recuperated, and now I wait for surgery. I cannot sit idly by and do nothing. But it is not safe for me to go back yet.
Reagan nodded, but it was hard to take it all in.
Why hadn’t he told her that he was a prince when they were working together? She’d thought he was just a surgeon.
But had they ever really talked about personal stuff?
No, they hadn’t. Not ever.
It explained why Kainan had that air of command about him. Why other people in the Hermosian Army and the wounded civilians had been in such awe of him. He’d been a prince and she’d been too blind or naive to see it.
Another scary thought sank into her mind. If Kainan was King that meant Peter was a prince.
Peter might not be able to stay with her if it came to a custody fight. Even at his tender age Peter had a duty to the country of his father’s birth. He belonged to Isla Hermosa.
Not to her.
As if sensing her apprehension, Kainan signed, This changes nothing. Peter is your son. I will not take him from you.
She wanted to believe him, but she was having a hard time processing all this.
“I’m surprised that your brother allowed you to serve as a doctor in a field hospital,” she said, because she didn’t know what else to say. She didn’t know of many surgeon kings.
My late brother didn’t care much for me. I was only the spare. Kainan turned to Andreas. Please help Dr. McNeil deal with this security situation.
Andreas bowed deeply. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
Michael and Andreas walked away. Kainan turned to her, pain etched across his face.
I am sorry, Reagan. I could tell no one. Not until I’d had the surgery. Canada needs to protect me until my coronation.
“When is that? When is your coronation?”
New Year’s Day.
“And your surgery?”
The twenty-sixth of this month. It’s risky.
“How risky?”
With the severe amount of scar tissue...
He frowned and her heart sank. She knew.
“It’s bad, then?”
Yes.
She nodded, but still the reality of it all was not sinking in. “That day at the palace...”
I tried to save Alek, but Alek wouldn’t leave. The fool thought I wanted to be King.
“Why would he think that?” she asked.
My brother was a fool. The IED went off as I was trying to get him out of the palace and he didn’t survive his injuries. So here I stand. King of Isla Hermosa. A voiceless king.
“I don’t know what...” She trailed off as she thought about Peter upstairs. The sense of dread was threatening to drown her. The thought of the press pushing their way into Peter’s room was too horrible to think about. “Do the press know about Peter?”
Kainan shook his head. No, they do not. They do not know about you or Peter, and I plan to keep it that way to protect you both.
She nodded, but she wasn’t sure that he would be able to. She wasn’t sure about anything, and she didn’t even really know him anymore.
Reagan had thought that Kainan was just a simple Hermosian surgeon. Nobody famous, just a person who tried to save lives, like her. But instead he’d been living this whole double life when they were on the island.
He was a king. Kainan might have called himself the “spare,” but he was still royalty. It was a little too much to take in at the moment.
No wonder there was so much security surrounding Kainan at the Royal York. No wonder the Canadian government had insisted that Kainan come here, Dr. Shaw was one of the best otolaryngologists in the country. It also explained why he was being put up in such an opulent hotel.
Kainan was being protected.
“Dr. Laskaris, Dr. Cote...what should we do now?” asked a medical student.
Reagan and Kainan both spun round to see a few of the medical students in the doorway. A couple of them were staring at Kainan with wide-eyed awe.
These students must have heard about the civil war that had ripped the island nation of Isla Hermosa apart. How the late King Aleksander had been a tyrant and driven the country’s resources into the ground. As well as cutting off a lot of trade and manufacturing, King Alek had been an ill-informed, misguided playboy who had cost a lot of lives.
And they probably all knew about the missing King too.
The missing King who was standing in front of her. Who was the father of her baby.
At least the press doesn’t know about Peter, and we have to keep it that way.
“Why don’t you head back to the university? Class is dismissed for today,” Reagan said, making an executive decision.
The students turned back into the room to gather up their stuff and Reagan started to walk away, because she needed to let all this sink in.
Kainan caught up with her as she headed down a quiet hallway that was rarely used. The beds on that wing were closed, and she needed the peace of the closed ward to regain her composure. But she had a feeling that was not going to happen, because Kainan had followed her and insisted on signing.
I meant what I said. This changes nothing, Reagan. My being King changes nothing about this situation. We’re in Canada. We’re not in Isla Hermosa.
She wanted to believe him, but she couldn’t.
It’s Kainan, a little voice said, but that didn’t matter anymore. She didn’t know him. Not really. The man she’d thought she knew didn’t really exist. He was a stranger.
Nothing changes, he reiterated.
“Oh, really?”
“I am still me,” he whispered breathlessly.
“I don’t know who that is.” She stopped to face him. “I never really knew you. We spent all that time together, working side by side, but we were strangers.”
Kainan scrubbed a hand over his face. I couldn’t tell you I was spare to the heir. Do you know how many women found out who I was and immediately changed. They just wanted my wealth. They wanted status. With you I could just be me.
“You knew I wasn’t like that.”
In the end, yes, I did. But you can understand my hesitation. At the beginning I knew nothing about you either.
Reagan thought about this, then nodded. “How many women are we talking about?” she asked, trying to ease the tension a little.
Kainan smiled. Okay, not that many. When women found out who I was they pursued me. I wasn’t the playboy my brother was.
“I just wish you had told me.”
What would telling the truth have done? Nothing. We were at war. I don’t think of myself as a leader. I wasn’t trained to step into my father’s shoes. All I ever wanted to be was a surgeon, and it was refreshing to be just that when we were working together.
“What does this mean for our son?”
Nothing at the moment. He is illegitimate.
Her eyes widened at his words. Nothing at the moment. What did he mean by that?
Despite what he’d said about nothing changing, did he mean to legitimize Peter and take him away? And then she recalled what legitimizing meant to a royal. It meant marriage. And if it meant what she thought it meant, she would need more than a moment. She would need a lifetime.
There was no way she was going to marry Kainan just because they had a son together—just because they’d once had feelings for each other and had had a great night of sex.
That was not something to base a marriage on. Her parents had married for that, and her mother had resented her for pushing her father away. First of all because he’d wanted a son and then because he’d thought Reagan was a burden, cramping his lifestyle.
Reagan didn’t want a marriage like that.
She never wanted to get married.
“At the moment?” she asked, trying not stumble over the words.
If we marry...
Reagan began to laugh at the absurdity of it all. “No, I don’t think so.”
Kainan’s dark eyes narrowed. I didn’t ask you.
“I’m saving you the trouble. There’s no way.”
Reagan, he’s my son too.
“I am very aware of that, Your Majesty. But just because he’s your son it doesn’t mean that I’m going to marry you. Just because you’re King it doesn’t mean that I want to marry you.”
Kainan rolled his eyes. This is exactly why I didn’t tell you. You’ve changed.
“I thought that was why you liked me—because I wasn’t after your title or your money. I’m still not, by the way. I haven’t changed.”
You’re more cynical.
“I have every right to be!”
Why? he asked.
She couldn’t tell him. She didn’t want to share with him or anyone her painful past. To do that would be letting him in, leaving her exposed.
Reagan softened. “I’m sorry. I can’t marry you. I don’t ever want to get married.”
Kainan nodded and then took a step closer to her. Are you saying you never cared for me in that way?
“I cared for you, Kainan. It just feels like a lifetime ago, and you are not the man I thought you were either.”
And you would’ve turned me down back then?
He reached out and touched her cheek briefly, before signing again.
You would’ve turned down a proposal of marriage from me then? When I was the man you thought I was?
Yes. I would.
Only she didn’t say it out loud. That was for her only.
“We were friends. Did you really want to propose to me back then?” she asked, but her pulse was racing.
His simple touch still affected her and she recalled the moment when he’d finally taken her in his arms and kissed her.
She remembered it with vivid clarity. The sweltering heat, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore and all the chaos that had seemed to still around them in that moment.
“If things had been different...” Kainan whispered, then stroked her cheek again.
His arm slipped around her as he tipped up her chin and captured her lips in a kiss. She closed her eyes and drank it in. This stolen moment that took her right back to that time.
And even though she didn’t want to feel this way about him, because she didn’t have an inch of her heart to give him, she couldn’t help but be swept away.
It was like a dream.
All those months when she’d thought he was dead, and right now he was a reality.
He was here.
Alive and kissing her.
He was affecting her, bringing down her walls.
She couldn’t let him in.
She pushed him away. “Kainan, it doesn’t change anything. I never want to marry. Royalty or not, it doesn’t change how I feel about marriage.”
Reagan, I can take care of you and Peter.
“How?” she asked. “You can’t give him a new heart by making him a prince.”
He looked crestfallen. I can protect you both.
“From what?”
Those who wish to end the monarchy of Isla Hermosa.
She frowned. “But you said it yourself—he’s not legitimate so he’s not a threat. If I marry you so you can protect us, I’m actually endangering us further.”
Kainan’s shoulders slumped. You’d still be a target if people found out. I am sorry. I just... I want to protect you both. I haven’t done much for you, but I can do that. Let me do this. It’s the right thing to do.
She reached out and grabbed his hand. “Being here now is enough, but we need to protect Peter. His last name is Cote, not Laskaris. The only people who know that you’re his father are the pediatric critical care unit staff and Michael. They won’t say a word.”
My security team knows.
Reagan’s stomach knotted. “You’ll have to keep them away from him. They’ll attract attention.”
He pursed his lips together, annoyed. I will not call them off. I don’t even think that I can anyway. They’re protecting the monarchy of Isla Hermosa.
“Then the press will find out.”
Security will keep them out of the hospital.
Reagan rolled her eyes. “Don’t underestimate the press.”
Fine. They will keep their distance. But the moment something happens to you or Peter I am bringing about the security detachment in force.
“Deal.” She held out her hand to shake his.
Kainan didn’t take it. I’m going to check in with Andreas and make sure that everything is good.
“Okay. I’m going to check on Peter and then see if they need any help in the emergency department, since we sent the medical students home early.”
I want you to have dinner with me tonight.
“How is that keeping your distance, Kainan? Won’t the press see me having dinner with you?”
Not if you come to my hotel room. No one will notice you and my guards can provide a distraction.
Reagan crossed her arms. “Why do you want me to have dinner with you?”
Kainan pinched the bridge of his nose. Why must you question everything?
“I’m not leaving the hospital tonight, Kainan. I shouldn’t have left yesterday. I’m needed here.”
To do what? Peter is stable.
“I’m not leaving. So, no, I’m not having dinner with you tonight.”
Fine, but I’m not giving up on this.
Kainan walked away and Reagan shook her head. She knew he was stubborn enough that he would persist until she agreed, but she wasn’t going to leave the hospital tonight.
She was going to stay right by Peter.
With this threat of the press, and people who would do harm to Kainan, she was going to make sure that no one got to Peter.
* * *
Kainan waited outside the pediatric critical care unit. He didn’t want to go in on the off-chance that someone from the press had snuck inside. It was killing him not to see Peter, but this was for the best.
Until he could make Reagan his wife and legitimize Peter he had to keep his distance from his son. Only he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to be like his father, a distant, remote figure.
If the press found out about Peter then all hell would break loose. Yet Kainan had to legitimize him. He had to marry Reagan and provide for them both. It was the right thing to do.
He saw Reagan walking toward the pediatric critical care unit, her head down and rubbing her neck. She looked tired and he didn’t blame her. He needed to do more. Reagan needed help, even if she didn’t trust him.
He had heard from Sophie that Reagan had spent every night since Peter was born watching him. Except for last night. She hadn’t even had a chance to recover much from the birth. She was always there, beside Peter.
One night of sleep would not make up for all the nights she’d lost. All the time she hadn’t taken to heal. All the weight she had on her shoulders.
Kainan wanted to help her because the guilt of not being there for her was eating away at him like so many things did, but this was more real. This was a weight that he would gladly bear, that he wanted to bear for her.
“Reagan.” He said her name uncertainly, because he wasn’t sure his voice would be able to say it in a way for her to hear him.
She stopped and looked up. “Kainan—I thought you had returned to the hotel. Your security detachment isn’t here.”
Not that you can see. They’re always around.
Reagan gave him a halfhearted smile. “What’re you still doing here? I told you I didn’t want to have dinner.”
I know, but you do have to eat sometime.
“I’m not leaving the hospital, Kainan. I told you that.”
I know, and that is why I have arranged for dinner in the classroom.
“What?” she asked, raising a finely arched brow.
It’s cafeteria food, and I know that you said yesterday that you were tired of cafeteria food, but seeing how you won’t leave the hospital, and I don’t want to draw attention, I didn’t really have a choice.
She crossed her arms, a smile spread across her face. “You are persistent.”
I may be King now, but I haven’t changed that much.
“Is a king supposed to change?” she teased.
I don’t know.
They both laughed at that.
Come on, he’s stable. He’s fine right now. Eat first, and then you can man your post by his bedside, or I can man the post and you can sleep in a proper bed.
“You want to take a shift by Peter’s bedside?” she asked, surprised. As if she didn’t quite believe him or the help he was offering.
Yes.
“You? Shouldn’t you be resting before your surgery?”
That’s not for a few days yet. Let me take a shift. I want to do it.
“I don’t know...”
She looked over her shoulder at the door of the pediatric critical care unit and he knew the pull she was feeling. He was feeling it too.
It was hard not to when your child was lying there sick.
You are no good to him weakened. You need to eat, Reagan. Come.
Reagan tore her glance away and nodded. “You’re right.”
Of course I am. I am King, after all.
It was a tease, and Reagan rolled her eyes, but she laughed all the same.
“Lead the way, my liege.”
I’m not your liege, Reagan. You are not Hermosian. He held out his arm. However, I am a gentleman, so if you’ll do me the honor and let me escort you?
Reagan took his arm and they walked away from the pediatric critical care unit to the classroom that was at the far end of the hall, on the other side of the hospital.
They didn’t say anything. It was night, and the hospital was quiet. All the regular appointments and coming and goings that happened during the day, making the hospital a busy place, were gone. There were a few staff members walking past, because the emergency room never stopped running, but for the most part the hospital was deserted.
The lighting was low and it was very calm. The cafeteria was only serving coffee and sandwiches. The gift shop was closed and through the atrium window he could see snow falling softly.
In a couple of days it would be Christmas, then his surgery, and then New Year’s, which would be his coronation.
If he survived the surgery and if the surgery was successful.
Kainan couldn’t remember the last time he’d celebrated Christmas. He’d always made excuses to his father in order to avoid the holiday since his mother had died. So for years, he hadn’t celebrated it. He’d worked and he’d enjoyed that.
And then war had broken out.
He’d spent last Christmas with Reagan, in the mobile military hospital. She had sung Christmas carols to the soldiers. Just thinking about that made him smile.
“What’re you smiling about?” she asked.
I was thinking about last Christmas with you.
She smiled. “I remember that night.”
You brought a lot of hope to those wounded soldiers.
“It was Christmas—it’s all about hope. Although I wouldn’t really know...”
Did you not celebrate Christmas as a child?
“No. Well, sort of. My parents never really liked to spend time with me. I had a grandmother until I was about seven, who made the holiday special, but after she died my parents were very cold to me. They didn’t want me and they made it clear.”
He frowned. I’m sorry, and I can understand that.
“You understand? I thought your father was a great king?”
Yes—a great king, but a very cold, detached father. I was the spare, so he didn’t spend a lot of time with me. Besides, Christmas was all pomp and circumstance. It was all for show.
“Sounds like we both had it rough,” she whispered. “Still, Christmas is a time for hope.”
Do you feel hopeful about this Christmas?
The wistful smile disappeared, to be replaced with sigh. “I’m trying, but it’s hard. This is Peter’s first Christmas and he’s spending it here.”
Kainan understood. He wished it was different.
At least he’s still alive.
She smiled at him, her eyes glistening. “Yes. He is.”
Kainan opened the door to the classroom, where he’d set up a small dining area. He’d borrowed plates and cutlery from the cafeteria, with Andreas’s help. He only wished there were candles or something, so he could set some mood lighting, but candles weren’t allowed in the hospital. He wanted to make it special to her.
He pulled out a seat and beckoned for her to sit. Once she’d sat down he pushed her chair in and then took the seat next to her. The table was too long, and he didn’t want her to have to shout across the room. This way, if he wanted to speak to her then he wouldn’t have to shout.
He longed to speak to her as he’d used to be able to do. With his voice he could offer to hold her hand, touch her and comfort her.
At least she could understand him, though. Not many people knew how to use American Sign Language. He had learned it in medical school, because he’d wanted to converse with hearing impaired or nonverbal patients in his medical practice. He’d had no idea that it would become a part of his life.
“What’s for dinner?” she asked.
Kainan lifted the lids on the salads he’d ordered before the cafeteria had shut down. I believe it is called Cobb Salad.
“It looks good. Actually, the cafeteria makes a great Cobb salad.”
Well, this is just the starter. The main course is macaroni and cheese. I can’t say that I’ve had the pleasure of trying macaroni and cheese.
“You’re pulling my leg,” Reagan said.
No, it’s true. It’s not really a staple on Isla Hermosa, and I grew up in a palace with a team of cooks. Macaroni and cheese wasn’t in their repertoire.
“Then you missed out, my friend,” she teased.
He chuckled. I took a peek at it. I highly doubt that.
Reagan smiled brightly, her dark eyes twinkling under the fluorescent lighting.
You have beautiful smile, Reagan.
Pink crept up her neck into her cheeks. “You’ve told me that before.”
It’s the truth.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked.
Doing what?
“This dinner. Why?”
I’m doing this because I wasn’t there for you when Peter was born. I see the burden you carry and I want to help. Don’t be on the defensive so much. You can trust me.
She looked away. “It’s dangerous for you to help right now.”
I know, but at least I can do this. I may not be able to directly help him, but I can help make things easier for you.
Her spine stiffened a bit. “I don’t need help. I got myself into this situation and I can handle it.”
I believe I was part of this “situation”, as you call it. Unless Peter was another immaculate conception, I had a hand in helping you.
Reagan sighed and relaxed. “Okay, thank you for dinner. I appreciate it.”
Kainan nodded. Eat. You need to eat to keep your strength up. You’re no good to our son if you get sick or collapse from exhaustion.
Reagan nodded and they ate in silence, but it wasn’t awkward. It felt right, and it was nice just to sit there with her and enjoy the peace and quiet, alone in this section of the hospital.
When they’d finished, Reagan leaned back in her chair. “That was good. What did you think of the macaroni and cheese?”
It was...interesting.
He made a face and she laughed, then she picked up her phone and frowned.
What’s wrong? Kainan asked when she looked up again.
“It’s Peter. His stats are a bit low.” She bit her lip and then got up. “I have to be with him.”
Kainan nodded. Go and keep me posted. Please.
Her expression softened. “I will. Thank you for dinner. I really appreciate it.”
He nodded and she left the room.
Kainan sank back in the office chair he was been sitting in, spinning a bit as he tried not to think about what was happening to his son, or the fact that he was helpless. It was too much to bear.
He had to marry Reagan to protect her, to protect them both—especially if he didn’t survive the surgery. Although he was very aware that he would be ruining her life and Peter’s by staying and subjecting them to royal protocol.
He should just walk away. Only he couldn’t. And the fact that he couldn’t scared him.