Emily Carlin
Over the last decade or so, the number of people identifying as magickal practitioners has increased exponentially. Seeing such growth, one might assume that our local magickal communities have grown and strengthened at the same rate, and yet that is not the case. Somewhere between 60 and 80 percent of Pagans identify as solitaries these days rather than being a part of a local group (Pitzl-Waters). This is due in large part to the easy availability of information on magickal practice in books and online. One no longer needs to find an in-person teacher or be accepted into a community before learning to practice magick. All that’s required is a library card or access to the Internet. However, just because someone comes into the Craft on their own doesn’t mean that they don’t want to be part of a larger community. A glance at any forum for magickal people will just about always reveal at least a half-dozen calls for meetups, rituals, or study groups. If you’re looking for community, you’re not alone.
A glance at any forum for magickal people will just about always reveal at least a half-dozen calls for meetups, rituals, or study groups. If you’re looking for community, you’re not alone.
Sadly, this amazing growth has actually made creating magickal community more difficult rather than less. When people have to go to established communities and teachers to find their way into magickal practice, they learn certain common practices, etiquette, and protocols—things like waiting to be cut out of a circle, being careful to pronounce a chant the way others do, or learning certain songs. This essentially builds commonalities between practitioners, making it easier for them to find common ground on which to build connection and community. Today, with so many practitioners custom-building their Craft, taking elements from an incredible variety of sources and putting their own spin on them, there is far less commonality that can be taken for granted. Not all practitioners wear the same clothes and know the same chants or rituals, and they certainly don’t hold the same beliefs. This means it can take a lot more effort to build real community.
Benefits of Community
So what is “real community”? For most magickal practitioners, real community means a place where we can openly practice our Craft and where we can be accepted for who and what we really are; where we don’t have to hide or pretend to be something we’re not. Such acceptance requires a great deal of openness and understanding from the larger group. This can be very difficult to achieve when practitioners of widely different practices and backgrounds try to come together. You’ve heard the joke about the ceremonialist and the Wiccan walking into a bar, right? It isn’t made any easier by the fact that magickal practitioners in general tend to be fiercely individualistic and resistant to authority. There is a reason that organizing magickal folks is often referred to as herding cats. And yet, despite all our differences, we still want to come together.
In all our wondrous variety, magickal people have a lot to offer one another in a community. We may come from diverse backgrounds, practice different things, and hold different (or even conflicting) beliefs, but we share a certain spark. We share the knowledge that magick is real. That is no small thing to have in common. We can offer each other support and understanding that most mundane folk cannot really understand or provide. Whether it’s getting a Tarot reading when you really need one, getting help with a house blessing, or receiving a cleansing, there are certain things that just require help from another magickal person. A long-distance or online friend can help you come up with an invocation or even impart energy from a distance (if they’re very good), but no matter their skill, they cannot help you craft a cord or bless a new baby. This is where being part of a local community is irreplaceable.
Joining a Community
Attempting to join a local community for the first time can be an intimidating experience. Groups have varying degrees of openness and acceptance of strangers. If you’re fortunate enough to have a very open local community, just showing up to a few events may be enough to have the others embracing you as one of their own. If not, you will probably have to attend several open events and get to know the leaders before you’re welcomed as a working member of the community. If that is the case, just be patient. If the community is worth joining, then it’s worth the hoops you may have to jump through, and if it’s not, then you will come away wiser and can try again with another group. Once you’ve found a group worth joining, there are many things you can do to help build and strengthen that community, even if you’re a newcomer.
The single most important thing you can do for any gathering you ever join is to model the kind of behavior you want to see from the people around you.
The single most important thing you can do for any gathering you ever join is to model the kind of behavior you want to see from the people around you. Do as you would be done by… sounds simple, doesn’t it? And yet, how often do you find yourself at an event where you judge the people around you by how they dress, what symbols they wear, what books they’ve read, and who they know? How often do you actually behave in the open and respectful way in which you want others to behave? In actuality, fighting our prejudices and knee-jerk reactions is not that easy. Unless you’ve made a concerted effort to cultivate a sense of kindness, you will likely have to practice being open to the thoughts and opinions of others and respecting their beliefs, regardless of how much they may clash with your own.
If you do nothing else for your community, learn to cultivate a sense of respect for others. When it comes down to it, community isn’t about everyone agreeing all the time (that’s what cults are for), it’s about being able to disagree respectfully and come to an accord anyway. Where there are multiple people, there will always be multiple opinions for the way things should be done or the way people should behave. You don’t have to agree with everyone, but you do need to respect them. Take the time to listen to what they have to say and acknowledge their contributions, and show respect for the thoughts and feelings of those around you. Then, if you do disagree, it can be from a place of understanding and reason rather than prejudice. Community is a gift, and making the effort to truly understand and respect your fellow members honors that gift and makes the whole community a stronger, better place.
That same respect demands not only that you listen to others but that you communicate your thoughts and feelings clearly. One of the most common things that we all do to undermine and erode our communities is to not bring up potential problems out of a desire to avoid conflict. You may think you’re being strong and bearing annoyance or pain for the good of the community, but you’re not. A real community has conflicts but has the ability to deal with them as they arise. For any group to grow and thrive, it must be open to the needs of its members, but how is that possible when the community doesn’t know what the needs of those people are? If you have a problem, it is your duty to bring it into the open to be addressed rather than to rot in the shadows. It may seem strange, but real community is strengthened by honest and respectful conflict—that’s how it grows. Be brave and bring your troubles into the open to be healed.
Creating a New Community
But what if you can’t find local community? Not all areas have strong magickal communities already, so sometimes you have to be bold and create them. If there are no groups holding events in your area, it may be time to step up and organize some. As intimidating as it may sound, if you’re searching for community, chances are good that someone not too far from you is looking for it, too. Reserve the meeting room at your local library or Masonic lodge and have a ritual, try for a meetup at a local cafe or pub, organize a Craft or divination night, or organize a shopping trip to support local merchants. All it takes is determination and the willingness to go it alone if nobody else shows up. Recruit a friend to do it with you, and you’ve already got two. The worst that can happen is that no one shows up; that’s not the end of the world. Be courageous and keep going until people start showing up. All communities start with an idea but are formed by elbow grease and determination.
Be brave. If you want to be part of a magickal community, you must be willing to be open and honest with the people around you, to show them the respect and consideration you want to receive, and to be brave enough to risk conflict to do the right thing. A real community isn’t a place of perfect agreements and idyllic harmony. Instead, it’s a place where your peers will confront you when you screw up and love and support you and fight to help you be better, and expect you to do the same for them. In its best form, magickal community is the family you choose.
Resources
Foundation for Community Encouragement. “Stages of Community Building.” http://fce-community.org/stages-of-cb.
Hampton, Jerry L. Group Dynamics and Community Building. http://www.community4me.com/communitybldg1.html.
Peck, M. Scott. The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace. New York: Touchstone, 1987.
Pitzl-Waters, Jason. “Circling Alone: Paganism’s Solitary Eclectic Future?” Patheos. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/wildhunt/2011/11/circling-alone-paganisms-solitary-eclectic-future.html.
Starhawk. The Empowerment Manual: A Guide for Collaborative Groups. Gabriola Island, BC: New Society Publishers, 2011.
Emily Carlin is an eclectic witch and lawyer based in Seattle, Washington. She specializes in defensive magick, community building, and pop culture magick. Emily blogs at blacksunmagick.blogspot.com and teaches at Pagan events in the Puget Sound area. Defense Against the Dark, her first book, was published by New Page Books in March 2011. She can be reached via email at emily@e-carlin.com.
Illustrator: Jennifer Hewitson