I had just stepped into the kitchen for a drink of water when the phone started to ring. It was almost 10:30. I wondered who could be calling this late at night. Thank goodness, Frank wasn’t home yet. He hated those late night calls, especially when it was from one of my patients. Frank always scolded me for giving out my phone number so easily, but I teased him back about being an overprotective husband.
As I picked up the receiver, I couldn’t help but think that maybe Frank was right about my late night calls. “Hello,” I said, trying my best not to sound irritated.
“Hello, Sandy. It’s Sonia. I’m sorry for calling so late.”
There was a certain tension in Sonia’s voice that I’d never heard before. Sonia was usually in control of things, but now something was definitely bothering her. “Oh, hello, Sonia. That’s okay. You caught me right before I jumped into bed. I’ve been meaning to call you, but you know how it is, time just got away from me.”
“Yes, I certainly know how that is,” Sonia answered.
There was a moment of silence as I waited for Sonia to continue speaking. Finally, I decided to break the silence, hoping she would reveal her reason for calling so late at night.
“So how have you been, Sonia? How was your trip to New Mexico?”
“Well, I don’t know where to begin, Sandy. It’s about Maya. I need your help with her.”
The next thing I heard were Sonia’s muffled sobs, and I knew that something terrible had happened.
“Sonia, what’s wrong. Is Maya all right?” My mind started to race back in time. It had been several months since my last counseling session with Juanita. The last time we had talked, she and Maya were both doing great.
“It’s so hard for me to talk about it, Sandy,” Sonia answered in an uneven voice. “But several days ago Maya was caught shoplifting. And her teachers have been calling me; she’s failing most of her classes. I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown, Sandy. I just don’t know how to handle her anymore.”
Sonia was crying softly in the background again. I thought back to my conversations with Juanita and how many times she had repeated enviously, “Maya is so perfect. She has the perfect family, the perfect house.” What could possibly have happened to shatter Juanita’s illusion?
“Sonia, you need to get hold of yourself,” I insisted in a mother-like tone. “Is Maya home right now?”
“Yes. She’s here,” Sonia answered in a muffled voice. “I’ve grounded her again, but I don’t think it’s doing much good. I just can’t seem to get through to her anymore. That’s why I’m calling you.”
This was the first time I had ever heard Sonia sound so helpless. She was usually very sure of herself.
“I’m really sorry to hear all of this, Sonia,” I said calmly. “Why don’t we meet for lunch tomorrow and talk. We can go over to the little Chinese restaurant. We haven’t done that in a long time.”
“Okay,” Sonia answered, sounding more hopeful. “Tomorrow is a good day for me. I only have two morning classes.”
“Good. Then I’ll see you there at noon, okay?”
“Okay. And Sandy, thanks.”
The next morning, as I finished up with my last patient, I kept thinking about my luncheon appointment with Sonia. Of all my professional friends, Sonia was the one I admired the most—Stanford Ph.D., yearly trips to Europe, gorgeous house, gorgeous husband. I remembered how impressed I had been when I first met her two years ago at a reception for the famous Chicano artist José Montoya. Sonia had given a brilliant introduction on Chicano Art. Later, she had walked over and introduced herself to me. From that day on, we had developed a close friendship, especially since we were the only Chicana professionals in Laguna.
When I walked into the Chinese restaurant, Sonia was already waiting for me at a table in the back corner. I waved and hurried over to meet her. “Hope I’m not horribly late,” I said, sitting down across from her. Sonia didn’t look as pretty today as she usually did. Her dark-brown wavy hair hung limp around her shoulders and there were dark circles around her eyes that made her look older.
Before Sonia had time to say anything, the waitress appeared with a pot of tea.
“Shall we have some tea first and talk for a while before we order?” I asked her.
“Sure,” Sonia answered quietly.
As soon as the waitress disappeared I asked Sonia point-blank, “Okay, Sonia, tell me what’s going on.”
Sonia’s eyes filled with tears as she began to speak. “It’s Maya. She’s totally out of control. I can’t seem to handle her anymore.”
“In what way is she out of control?” I asked, trying my best to sound sympathetic. Lately, it seemed like every parent I talked with seemed to think their kids were out of control.
“Well, for one thing, she’s failing most of her classes. Then I found out she quit the tennis team and she’s been hanging out with these bums. And to top it off, she was caught stealing.”
“That certainly doesn’t sound like Maya,” I said, handing Sonia a Kleenex from my purse. “Did she tell you why she was stealing?”
“Well,” Sonia answered, groping for the right words, “she said that one of her friends dared her, so she had to do it. She’s hanging out with this rough group of kids. I guess the girl who dared her is from San Martin.”
I waited for a few moments while Sonia blew her nose, knowing that I needed to be careful how I phrased the next question. “Sonia, when teenagers suddenly start to behave in extreme ways, there’s usually a reason behind it. Now, I know this is a difficult question, but is there anything going on at school or at home that might have caused Maya’s sudden behavior change?”
Sonia let out a deep breath. I could feel the tension mounting inside of her as I waited patiently for her to answer. “Armando moved out this summer. We’re getting a divorce.”
Suddenly, everything seemed to fall into place. “I’m very sorry, Sonia,” I replied, reaching over and patting her on the hand. “Why didn’t you let me know sooner?”
“Oh, I guess I was embarrassed. I don’t know. We both agreed it was for the best. It was a friendly separation.”
A friendly separation? Who was Sonia trying to kid? There was no such thing. I remembered my own divorce from Raúl and how it had hurt my entire family.
“Sonia, divorce is one of the most difficult things for families to cope with, especially teenagers. And the tendency is to think that because teenagers are older, they adapt much easier to a divorce. But it doesn’t happen like that.”
“I guess I fooled myself into thinking that Maya was handling it okay, but now it’s obvious she’s turned into a complete stranger.”
“Have you been able to talk to her about the divorce, about her feelings?” I asked.
“I’ve been trying, but she won’t listen to me. She says it’s all my fault. You know how she idolizes her dad.”
“Has Armando tried talking with her?”
“Are you kidding?” Sonia asked sarcastically. “He never calls her. She hasn’t seen him in months.”
“He’s back in the Bay Area. And he keeps saying he’s going to have Maya up for a visit, but every time she asks him about it, he says it’s a bad weekend or that he’s too busy.”
The waitress appeared, interrupting our conversation. “Are you ready to order?” she asked impatiently.
“What shall we order, Sonia?” I said, scanning the menu.
“It doesn’t matter. The usual, I guess. I’m not very hungry”
“You, not hungry. ¿Estás loca?” I teased. Sonia’s face began to relax, revealing a half-smile. Good. I had made her smile. I wasn’t used to seeing Sonia look depressed. She was always the cheerful one, telling funny stories about her college students.
After we had finished ordering, Sonia was the first to speak. “What really worries me, Sandy, is the fact that she was stealing. She has to appear in court next month. I’m really embarrassed by the whole thing. Most of all, I’m scared. Scared for Maya. Why in the world would she steal if she already has everything?”
Like most of my patients, Sonia obviously wasn’t getting it. She was too blinded by her own emotional problems. “There are reasons for everything, Sonia. It’s clear to me just from the little you’ve told me that Maya is hurting on the inside and this is her way of acting that out.”
Sonia’s eyes were quickly filling with tears. “You think so, Sandy? I guess that’s why I wanted to talk with you. What should I do?”
“I think you both need counseling.”
“I already suggested that to Maya and she told me where to go,” Sonia explained. “But I know how much she likes you, so I was wondering if you would talk with her.”
I hesitated before answering. As a general rule, I never liked to counsel my friends and their families. It’s easier to keep my personal feelings separate from my professional life.
“Please, Sandy. I know she’ll listen to you. She thinks the world of you.”
I had never been able to resist Sonia’s pleas for help. I guess that’s why we were compañeras, marching together in support of the United Farm Workers’ union, serving on panels, you name it. Only this time, Sonia was the one who needed help.
“All right, Sonia,” I said. “But Maya has to agree to come and see me. You can’t force her. She has to want to come and talk with me on her own.”
A look of relief appeared on Sonia’s tired face. “Thanks, Sandy. I know I can convince Maya to see you. She admires you so much.”
“Good. But I recommend that you get some help for yourself as soon as possible. I can recommend a good therapist. Divorce is not an easy thing to deal with on your own.” Who should know better than me? The memories of my own divorce still haunted me even after all these years.
“I will, Sandy. I promise I’ll look into it right away,” Sonia said, interrupting my thoughts.
“Good. Then it’s all settled. Now we can pig out. Oh, I forgot. You’re not hungry, right?”
“Cállate,” Sonia scolded me as the waitress set the steaming plates on our table.