Waking with a start, I felt confused and panicked. Where was I? Through the echoing of my heart pounding in my ears, I could hear muted sounds in the distance. I tried to open my eyes. My eyelids felt heavy, and I didn’t seem to have the strength to open them. I knew I was lying down, and though I could feel my arms and legs, I didn’t have the strength to move them. My skin felt clammy, and the air around me was thick with the strong odor of antiseptic.
I tried to open my eyes once more. Fighting the sharp pain in my head, I was finally able to focus through the haze. A soft light bathed the institutional room.
As my vision became clearer, I could see I was alone and the door to the room was propped open only a few inches. I leaned over on my right arm, trying to support myself into a more upright position. A sharp, stabbing pain shot up my arm and into my shoulder. Looking down, I saw that my arm was wrapped in a short splint with an IV extending out from underneath an adhesive bandage. Fortunately, I hadn’t pulled hard enough to dislodge it. But why did I need it?
Carefully hung over the railing of the bed was its remote control. I grabbed it, but when I looked down, I couldn’t focus. Frustrated, I pushed any button. The bed made a muffled, grinding sound. I pushed another button, and the bed gently lifted me to a better sitting position. Even that slow, upward movement made my head swim.
I looked down to see that I was neatly tucked under a sheet and lightweight blanket. But, I noticed a rather large bump around my left knee. I lifted the covers to see my leg covered with a plaster cast. It went from the top of my thigh and over my knee and foot. I looked down and saw that at least my toes were sticking out. Despite being under the blanket, the plaster was damp and cold to the touch. There was another tube, this one was coming from my leg. I leaned over, trying to following it over the rail, to see where it went. Suddenly, all the muscles in my upper leg went into a spasm. The noise I made, sounded so painful, I didn’t even realize it was coming from me. Now, fear and pain seemed to be fighting for power over my body.
My mind started racing again, and I began to shake. “What happened?” I was so frightened and confused, I grabbed the call button and started frantically pushing buttons. To make things worse, the bed started to sound like gears being forced backwards. The more buttons I pushed, the louder the sound got.
Bright light from the hall flooded into the room as a lively woman in light blue scrubs opened the door and practically skipped into the room. “Hey, you’re up!” said the far too happy young nurse. “We were getting just a little worried about you.” She crossed over to me, and switched on a light that was on the wall behind the bed. “I’m sorry about the bed, sometimes it gets a little angry if it feels you haven’t pushed its buttons just right.” She gave me a big smile, but I was far too upset to appreciate her humor. “It’s so nice to see you awake,” she said, as she put a blood pressure cuff on my arm. She picked up the iPad she put on the bottom of the bed when she came in, and began entering information. She held my wrist and looked at her watch for a minute, then smiled. “How about some water?”
“Okay,” I croaked.
She poured cold water from a pitcher on the bedside table. Putting a straw into a plastic cup, she said, “Now sip slowly.” The water felt cool and soothing going down my sore throat, and I started to sip faster. “Whoa, now.” She gently took the cup away, placing it back on the table.
“How’s the leg? Let’s take a look.” She lifted the blanket to inspect my leg and its heavy encasement. She felt my toes, pinching a few. “Your circulation looks good.”
She asked me to wiggle them. “Good, very good. I need to drain your Hemovac,” she said as she worked at something off the side of the bed.
“My what?”
“Your Hemovac. It’s a drain they put in during your surgery.”
“Surgery?”
Keeping her attention on her work, she answered, “Yes, you had a pretty serious break. How’s the pain?”
“Well, I definitely have some!” I snapped, demanding her attention.
A bit surprised, she looked up at me for a second.
“Could you please tell me what happened? Why am I here?”
“I’m not sure. Someone found you unconscious out in that awfully cold rain storm we had a couple days ago, and brought you to the hospital.”
“Where’s my mother?”
Inserting a syringe into my IV, she continued speaking. “I haven’t seen her, but your aunt Julie’s been here for the past two days. I know she’ll be back this morning, and I’m sure she’ll be very glad to see you awake.”
“Aunt Julie? Why? I don’t understand. Is Mom with her? How long have I been here?”
“You’ve been here for almost two days and every time I see your aunt, she’s been by herself. She’s always here bright and early. It’s about four a.m. now so, I’ll bet she’ll be here by six or seven at the latest.”
Hesitating to ask, I quietly added, “Am I okay?”
“Well, why don’t we wait for the doctor to talk to you and your aunt later today?” I guess she noticed from the expression on my face she wasn’t completely reassuring me. She added, “Don’t worry; you’re doing well. I’m sure the doctor will also be very pleased to see you awake. Now, why don’t you try to relax and let the medication work? I’ll be back to check on you a little later. Just push your call button, right here, if you need anything.”
I leaned back against the pillow, still very confused and afraid. I could feel the effects of the medication almost immediately. The pain in my leg—actually, anything even slightly uncomfortable, including my emotions—seemed to lift up and out of my body. I felt like a balloon afloat, drifting along on a peaceful breeze. I had just begun to slip away into some very deep, safe place when I felt a presence in the room. I opened my eyes. Someone was standing over me. The face, hidden in random shadows, didn’t look familiar. Trying again to focus, I could see some reflection of glasses, a moustache, and I think, a white lab coat.
As the figure leaned over the bed rail toward me, I felt a hot rush shoot through my body. Dream, drug hallucination, or reality, I grabbed the remote control and pounded on the call button. A voice came over the scratchy sounding intercom. “What do you need, Pen—”
I didn’t let her finish. “Help ! Nurse!” I tried to yell, but the words came out in breathless gasps.
I turned my head, and the figure had vanished. It had slipped out of the room as silently as it must have slipped in.
The door swung open, and the ceiling light blinded me, as the nurse rushed in.
“What’s wrong? What happened? Are you okay?” the nurse muttered as she made her way to the side of my bed.
Trying to control my shaking, I struggled to speak. “There … um … was … somebody here … some … a man … I think … standing over … me.”
“I don’t think so,” she assured me, adjusting my blanket. “It’s probably just the medication I gave you.”
“I saw him; he stood right there!”
“There are only three people working this floor tonight, one other nurse and an aide, and all are women.”
“No, it was a man.” My breathing was starting to slow down a bit. “Could it be a patient?”
“I don’t think so. There are only two male patients on this floor and neither one of them are in any shape to be strolling around right now. Why don’t you lie back and try to relax? That pain medication should be helping you sleep by now.”
“Okay, I’ll try. But do me a favor and keep those drugged hallucinations out of my room.”
She smiled, nodded, turned out the ceiling light, and gently closed the door.
I leaned back, felt a small wave of dizziness, and let the medication do its job.
* * *