Our senior year seemed to fly by. Jessica and I applied to a number of colleges, but in the end, we found ourselves on the same campus. It was a liberal arts college with an excellent science program for Jess and an impressive theatre program for me.
After a few rather heated arguments, I finally convinced Julie to let me see another doctor with the hope of going off at least some of my medication. One of my points was that I was going away to school, and I wouldn’t be able to continue seeing Dr. Waldham anyhow.
* * *
I was thrilled to be going off to college. But, Aunt Julie was more upset than I ever expected. Before she left the dorm room, that very first day, she hugged me tight. “Promise me you’ll come home every chance you get, and call me every week, okay?”
My heart was heavy with sadness, feeling Julie’s loneliness and what I left behind, while my head spun from the excitement of all that was ahead.
* * *
Despite attending the same college and even rooming together, Jessica and I began to run with different groups. Yet, somehow, we were always around when the other was in need, for good or bad.
One of those times came during my first big production in college. Always a devoted friend and fan, Jessica reserved a front row seat for my opening night.
When I walked into the dressing room, I was surprised to see a vase filled with colorful carnations. The card read: “Knock’em dead, Penny! Your friend, Jessica.”
My nervousness was mostly pure excitement at that point. I got into my costume and put on my stage make-up. I hadn’t remembered feeling quite so happy. There’s something very right about this.
The lights, the set, the audience … I soaked it all in, growing in the knowledge that this is where I was meant to be.
The show went amazingly well for a first night. We took our bows and the curtain closed. I dashed off the stage, past the big prop closet and down the long hall that ran the length of the auditorium to the stage manager’s window.
I rushed out into the open hallway between the backstage area and the dressing room. The audience was already spilling out into the lobby and hallways. Karen, the student that was handling the box office for that show stopped me. “Penny, there was a guy here tonight. He said his name was Brian. He asked me to tell you he’d be waiting in the hall to see you.”
“Um, thanks,” I said in shock.
“Sure, no problem,” she blurted out quickly, as she rushed off.
Brian. He said he couldn’t make it, that he was too busy with school and he’d be sure to make it to the next one.
But, as always, standing out in the crowd was Brian. He looked better than ever. Impeccably dressed, as usual. Then, I noticed the redhead next to him. She was a tall, extremely thin girl, who looked and dressed more like she belonged on a fashion runway than attending a play at a small college. What was she doing with him anyway?
He let go of her hand, after he kissed it. Though I couldn’t hear the words, I could see he was telling her something. She smiled, looked over in my direction, and left.
Deep breath. Stay calm. He walked toward me, and as he went to hug me with congratulatory words, I pulled away. I couldn’t believe this. Anger and hurt were fighting inside and I knew they were both going to win.
He looked back to where the girl had gone and acted as though he was surprised I saw her. He knew very well I was watching his little performance.
He looked back at me. “I didn’t want to tell you about Carrie over the phone.”
My anger must have helped me articulate my feelings. “So instead, you bring her to my first big college show and flaunt her in my face?”
“Oh, come on Penny, you didn’t really expect me to stay faithful while we were away at different colleges did you?”
Now, the anger left me speechless.
“She’s a great girl. We have so much in common. I plan to support her with her career and she already supports me with my theatre work.”
How nice. Did he really think I wanted to hear this?
“I did want to give you my congratulations on your little show.”
I decided it was time for this nonsense to stop. I turned and walked away leaving him standing in the hallway.
Just as I reached the dressing room door, I felt a smack on the back. “Hey, star! Nice job!” It was Jess. “Are you gonna remember all us little people when you’re a celebrity?”
“Maybe,” I said flatly. I’m sure she saw the shock on my face. Even when I tried, I couldn’t hide much from Jessica.
“You saw him, didn’t you?” Her smile dropped.
I just looked at her with an “If I could only kill him” glare.
“Come on …” I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the dressing room before a large group of people reached the door.
Addressing my fellow cast mates, I hollered over the noise, “Hey Guys, if you haven’t met her already, this is Jessica.”
A group of actors spoke in unison. “Hell-ooh Jess-I-ca.”
“Very funny,” I replied as I walked to my spot at the mirrors.
In the place of Jessica’s colorful carnations sat an elaborate vase stuffed with dead roses. The dark red buds hung from the dried out stems.
“What’s this?” Nobody answered. Everyone was busy with his or her own business. If there was any blood flow left in my brain, it was draining fast.
Jess pulled a chair over to me. “Penny, why don’t you sit down?”
Once I was sitting, I noticed a small but rather elaborate card lying near the vase. The printing appeared child-like, but not the wording.
Elizabeth,
You certainly have a flair for the stage and you look as lovely as ever.
I’d never miss one of your performances.
Bravo!
“What is it?” Jessica asked. I handed her the card. She read it quickly and scanned the room.
“Hey, did anyone see who put this here?” Though most people ignored her and continued what they were doing, one person in the corner asked annoyingly, “What?”
Grabbing the vase she said, “These, these dead roses. What jerk put them here?”
The guy in the corner answered, “Hell, I don’t know. People have been in and out of here all evening.
I couldn’t move. I thought these incidents were finally over.
“Go change your clothes. I’ll be right back.” Jessica never told me what to do but seeing as I was standing there like a zombie, a little direction didn’t hurt. With the vase and dead roses in hand, she stormed out of the room.
By the time she got back, I was one of about three people who were lagging behind. I sat in my chair with my tote bag between my feet. I had snapped out of my little trance but now felt exhausted.
As she walked in the room, she dropped the vase and the flowers in the trash can.
“Where did you go?”
“I asked the security guard a few questions. I wanted to know if he saw anybody around the dressing rooms during the show. He said he hadn’t.”
“I’m sure he knows who belongs here, and who doesn’t. He knows all of us in the cast. He’s here every night for rehearsals.”
“Well, maybe we better get going. I think they’re ready to lock up”
“Okay.” I slowly got up from my chair, tossed my bag over my shoulder and picked up the rest of my belongings.
Jess looked over at me as we walked down the hall. “You don’t want to go to the party, do you?”
“No. Do you mind if we don’t go?”
“Of course not. Why don’t we just go back to the room?” I nodded, then asked, “Did you know Brian was coming?”
“Not until I saw him walk in with that fake red head with a nasty attitude.”
“Oh Jess, how could he do this?” I finally let out the tears I had been holding back.
“Come on, kiddo. I think we should have a girl’s night.” She put her arm around me, and gave me a pep talk as we walked. “You have so much going for you. I know this hurts now, but you’ll get over it. He really wasn’t right for you anyway. As a matter of fact … I know this guy in my Chemistry …”
I cut her off. “Jess, not now, okay?”
“Okay.”
We walked the rest of the way to the dorm in silence.