Time flew by quickly and before we knew it, Cindy and I were on our way to New York City. The sun had just set as we drove into the city. I would find out later, that was the best time to get a “first look” at this asphalt jungle. At night, the lights, noise and non-stop pace created a magical atmosphere that the stark, harsh light of morning often took away.
At that moment, I was in awe. My heart raced and my breath quickened, not from panic but from pure excitement. Not only was I in an electrifying, adventurous city, I was here to work as an actress. Maybe I was somewhere near the bottom of the acting ladder, but I was happy to be anywhere on it. I’d be working in a city that boasts the home of major television networks and, of course, Broadway itself. I couldn’t believe it, I was being paid to perform in New York City, one of the two best cities for an actor to work.
I was looking forward to meeting the people I’d be working with and praying that someone would be of help in finding the answers I desperately sought.
As we passed an endless number of low-income high rise apartment buildings, I had the image of people stacked on people, stacked on even more people.
Turning onto a main street we passed one store after another. Although brightly lit, the dirt and age underneath couldn’t be completely hidden.
There were restaurants and delis everywhere. How could so many stay in business? I guess in the “city that never sleeps” there’s always someone who’s hungry.
We passed a drug store, its windows plastered with handwritten signs. When the signs didn’t obstruct the view, you could see an endless inventory of just about everything from feminine products to cheap plastic toys. Boxes and packages were randomly stacked to overflowing. Maybe they didn’t have time to organize things, or maybe they just didn’t care.
In one glance I saw a man walking briskly, wearing a perfectly tailored Armani suit and carrying a Louis Vuitton leather briefcase. He spoke into his Nokia cell phone oblivious to the people and activity around him.
In the next moment, I saw a bag lady pushing around an old, bent and rusted grocery cart as she mumbled to herself. Though the air was not yet chilly, she wore two thick sweaters; a long, stretched and tattered brown sweater hung out from under a bright pink pullover that was badly stained. A faded woolen winter cap was pulled snugly down to her eyebrows.
My heart sank when I thought of the kind of life she must have. Before I could create her entire sad existence in my mind, Cindy broke me out of my trance.
“This is the parking lot we’re supposed to use for now. Our rehearsal space is just around the corner.” She pulled into a small area facing a wall of graffiti and turned off the ignition.
“Penny, why don’t you go ahead and tell them we’re here. I have to go through some of this junk and see what Peter will need right away.” She opened the side door to the van and looked back at me. “Just go down this street and make the first left you see, about halfway down the alley you’ll see the stage door. If you don’t mind, go in and ask one of the guys to meet me down here with a dolly to help take some of the heavier boxes.”
“Okay.” That sounded easy enough. I flipped my big rehearsal bag over my shoulder and headed down the street like I owned the place.
I passed a hotel that must have stood in this same spot a hundred years ago. I thought of what this bustling city may have been like back then.
I kept walking, but still hadn’t come to an alley. Had I passed it? I leaned against the nearest shop window, looking back towards where we parked the car. I decided to return to the car to find Cindy.
Just as I started to go back, a group of guys who looked like they were in their late teens came out of one of the sandwich shops. They punched each other in the arm, smacked each other in the head and shouted obscenities as though they were trying to impress someone. I tried to act cool and pretend to be a native. That’s what someone once told me to do. Little did I realize that I stood out like a nun among a group of topless showgirls.
Then I made my first mistake. I broke one of the rules of surviving in a tough city. As they came towards me, I looked right at them, smiled a big smile and said “Hi.” As it came out of my mouth I realized how ridiculous I must have looked and sounded. One kid had a rather heavy looking chain dangling from his belt and I noticed another had his hand on a strange shaped bump, something sticking up and partway out of his waistband. Another thug moved in toward me, putting his face up next to mine. His eyes were icy and his stare pierced through me as frightening as any weapon. Intimidation was his power and he knew it. He moved in even closer breathing hotly in my ear as he moved behind me.
“Hey, baby, what’cha look’in for?” He squeezed in between my body and the building, rubbing against me. I shuddered with a mixture of fear and revulsion while his buddies chuckled with amusement.
Oh God, what am I going to do? Just as I started to open my mouth to protest, I heard a voice coming from behind my welcome wagon visitors.
“Tony, what are you and your fellow delinquents up to?”
My admirer moved away. “Nuth’in, officer, just hav’in some fun.”
“Well you better get moving or you’ll have some ‘fun’ down at the station.” He looked over at the boy’s cohorts. “We had some fun there just last week, didn’t we, fellas?”
“Yeah, yeah, we’re goin.’” They strutted down the sidewalk. The Tony kid turned back to add “Ya know, ‘officer,’ you otta find another job. This one sucks.”
“If you don’t get your act together, you’ll never get any job.”
“Yeah, great come back.”
The kid dismissed him as though he were garbage on the sidewalk. He joined the group and they chuckled as they went on their way.
The officer turned his attention back to me. “Are you okay?”
“Um, uh, yeah, I think so.”
“Are you sure?”
“Um, yes.” Getting myself together I explained, “I’m with an acting group. We’re rehearsing at the YWCA activities building. But I don’t know where it is.”
“Oh, that’s right up here, I’ll show you.” He started to walk and I followed him. “You know you really shouldn’t be walking alone at night in this area. If you need to walk these streets make sure you have someone with you next time.”
“Yes, I see why.”
We turned the corner, walked a few feet. He pointed straight ahead. “Right there it is.” To my surprise in the middle of the dark alley a door was propped open and bright light and voices poured out.
Just then, Cindy appeared from around the corner. “Is everything okay?” She looked first at me, then glanced over toward the policeman.
“Everything’s fine. Just had to get rid of a few trouble makers.” As he turned to leave, he added, “You ladies be careful.”
“Yes, sir, we will,” I answered. He looked at me with some surprise. I don’t think too many people referred to him as “sir.”
As my rescuer turned the corner, Cindy walked over to me. “What happened?”
“I’ll tell you later, I’d really like to get inside, if you don’t mind.”
The scratched and dented heavy metal door was currently propped open with a few old bricks despite the collection of locks.
I stepped over the threshold onto a dirty cement floor. Folding chairs were set up in two different sections with an aisle down the middle.
At the other end of the grouping of chairs was a small stage that sat about four feet above the floor. A crew of two was busy working on some scenery while a man and woman sitting in the front row were intensely discussing something they obviously disagreed on.
As Cindy and I walked toward the stage, I noticed the man involved in the heated discussion was the director who hired me, Peter Donnett.
He must have heard us coming for he looked over his shoulder. Abruptly ending his meeting, he stood to greet us, “Miss Nolan, good to see you again. Did you have a nice drive?”
Before I could answer yes, Cindy broke in with “Except for all the traffic and incompetent drivers.”
Ignoring her, he continued, “Let me introduce you to one of my business partners. This is Lillian Fleishman. Lillian, this is Penny Nolan, one of our newest additions to the tour.”
I offered my hand, “Nice to meet you.”
“Penny, I hope you’ll be happy with us. I know you must be an exceptionally good actress or Peter here wouldn’t have hired you.”
Lillian looked as though she was somewhere in her sixties though the skin on her overtanned and well-creased face suggested she was much older. She was bone thin and wore a blood red suit.
When Peter stood up, I noticed she had dropped a cigarette she was smoking and extinguished it on the cement floor with her Donna Karan shoes.
“Lillian is based here and handles a lot of the company’s New York contacts.” Suddenly remembering that Cindy was also with us he added, “Cindy, you’ve met Lillian haven’t you?”
“Oh yes, and we talk by phone at least twice a day,” Cindy said politely, though she rolled her eyes toward me. She told me all about her on our drive here. Lillian was one person she worked with a lot and wished she didn’t have to deal with at all.
As though she hadn’t said anything, Peter continued with me, “Some of the actors won’t be here until tomorrow. Jim and Andy are local so they offered to start setting things up before rehearsals. Come on, I’ll introduce you.” Peter took me up to the stage where I met two of my fellow tour members who were busy hammering and painting.
It was about midnight before we got out of there. Cindy and I shared a room at a nearby hotel. When we stopped at the front desk to register, the man said, “Nolan? Penny Nolan?” Gee, I couldn’t possibly be famous already, I thought.
He handed me a small piece of paper. “You have a message,” he said with a big smile.
Penny, Heard you were in NYC. Got the number from your aunt. Give me a call. Brian.
“Oh my God,” I said in disbelief, then looked around realizing I had verbalized my thoughts.
“What’s wrong?” Cindy asked.
“I’ll tell you later.” As we walked to our room, I told Cindy about Brian, how he was my first real love and what he did the night of my first college performance.
She unlocked the door and smacked her luggage into the wall while trying to hold the door open for me. “You’re not planning on calling him back, are you?” she huffed dropping the suitcases on the floor.
“I guess I haven’t thought that far. He must have heard about me getting a spot in Peter’s tour and suddenly, after all these years, he’s interested in talking to me again.” I plopped my bags on the one bed. “I don’t think I’ll be able to get back to him tonight. Maybe later, much later, when my schedule calms down.” I looked sideways at myself in the dresser mirror and posed like a melodramatic silent picture starlet.
Cindy grinned. I was surprised at how okay I felt about it. I had so much going on in my life right then I didn’t feel the need to run to this guy I once loved, but who treated me like trash. I was on my own and handling things, pretty well, so far.
Our room wasn’t very fancy, but it was clean and comfortable. So much so, that I had barely brushed my teeth, washed my face and changed into my lovely alma mater nightshirt, when I was ready to turn in.
I’m usually a night person, especially when my mind is racing. I thought Brian’s message might eventually start to bother me and keep me awake. But I slipped between the sheets, pulled the blanket up and fell asleep not long after my head hit the white hotel pillow.