“WE HAVE A problem.”
I hate it when people start a conversation out like that. Especially my family.
“Tell me, Troya, what is our problem?” I tried to keep the sarcasm out of my voice, but I have a gift for sarcasm, so it’s difficult.
“Okay, it isn’t really a problem, and it really isn’t ours, it’s mine. I’m not sure what to call it.”
“It’s early. Can you just keep it in English?”
“Sorry. I just got off shift, and it kind of freaked me out. I should have looked at the clock.”
“What freaked you out?” When your unflappable sister says she’s freaked out, it gets your attention.
“I got home and Gavin was pulling up a floorboard in the laundry room.”
“Why is your roommate pulling up boards in the laundry room? That might freak me out too.”
“No, I knew he was going to be pulling boards. He did construction work to get himself through nursing school, and he has been doing some stuff around here to help make the place a little more this century. It’s charming in an English cottage kind of way, but we needed more space in the laundry room.”
“Why is he pulling boards at this time of day?”
“Focus, Cara.”
“Sorry. What has you freaked out?”
“When he pulled the boards, there was a bunch of stuff in between the studs.”
“What kind of stuff?”
“Bernie stuff.”
“Why call me? If it’s Bernie stuff, then you should call Mom. I just got a blooming trunk, Troya. That’s it. My life isn’t centered on Bernie.”
“Overreact much? I called you because one of the first things he pulled was a bunch of pictures of you.”
“What?”
“When you were little.”
“That makes no sense. Why would Bernie have pictures of me when I was little, and why would they be stuffed under floorboards? It’s probably somebody else.”
“I know it’s you. Remember the year Mom got you the haircut and then Grandma did a perm on your bangs?”
“Unfortunately.”
“Well, now we have a picture to remember it by.”
“What else?”
“I don’t know. That’s as far as he got. He worked a full shift last night, and then he came home and did construction.”
“While the baby was asleep?”
“She has a pink noise machine in her room. She’s used to alarms going off all night. That little one could sleep through the apocalypse.”
“I guess that’s a good thing for you.”
“And for her new family.”
“What do you mean, ‘her new family’?”
“She found a forever family. A nurse practitioner and a doctor, so I’m comfortable that she’s in good hands.”
“They’re taking her away from you?”
“Cara, it was only supposed to be temporary.”
“But you love her.”
“Yes, I do. And I want her to have a good life. I think these people will provide her with one.”
“Why don’t you keep her and provide her with one?”
“As much as I want to say that a one parent household with a fabulous roommate is good enough for anyone, in this case, she really is better off with a mom and a dad, not us. I know it isn’t politically correct to say things like that, but it’s what is best for her. She has such difficult needs. When she’s older, they’re only going to become more of a challenge.”
“Are you okay? That would kill me.”
“I’m good. I feel like I was a part of getting her strong and finding her a forever family.”
“You were. You did. Oh my God, Troya. You’re a much stronger person than I am.”
“I don’t think so. It’s going to be hard, but I think it is what’s best for her, and what is best for her is all I’ve ever wanted.”
“So what do you guys do now? Are you going to get another baby?”
“She isn’t a puppy, Cara.”
“I know that. That’s not what I meant. It’s just that you guys are all set up for it, and you both have the biggest hearts in the world. I just thought that maybe you would want to keep going with all of this.”
“We haven’t decided yet. As much as we both loved everything about having her, it was huge work and sometimes very difficult to arrange our schedules, especially since we aren’t really a couple or anything, just roommates.”
“How is Gavin taking it?”
“He’s a strong guy. He loves her with all his heart. The new family says we can visit any time we want, but you know how that goes. Once they’re really bonded, they aren’t going to want us around as much.”
“Maybe you can be their babysitter once in a while, or respite care or something.”
“That’s the plan. What do you want me to do with these pictures?”
“Just hang on to them. If you find anything else, let me know.”
“Will do. Should I call Mom and tell her about it?”
I shrugged. “Sure, why not?”
“Just depends. She might be interested. She might not care. She might come over here with a sledgehammer and start breaking down walls. You’re better at reading her than I am, Cara.”
“I’ll talk to her. I’ll make sure Daddy has the sledgehammers locked up before I say anything.”
“Thanks. Are you going to be there Sunday?”
“Yep.”
“Good. All three of us are coming. Kind of a chance for everybody to say goodbye.”
“When does she go live with her forever family?”
“Tuesday.”
“Troya…”
“Don’t start. I said I’m fine.”
I could hear her crying when she hung up the phone.
And I thought I had challenges.
Giving up a baby you love so that she can have a more stable life… That’s gotta go high on the difficult to do list. Really high. Like right under losing a child.
The more I thought about it, the harder I cried.
And she wasn’t my baby.
Poor Troya.
Poor Gavin.
The phone rang as I was hitting the print button. Adeline needed a bunch of information, and I liked to print it out and file it. I know people say it’s easier to keep track of everything on a computer, but I seem to catch more mistakes and typos and inconsistencies when I print things out. I also like to have a folder of stuff when I go to visit the potential client or some of Adeline’s professional people. As much as Adeline tells me that I’m just as skilled as they are or just as important, they intimidate the crap out of me.
“Dingleberry, I need your help.”
“You got it.”
“Thanks, but don’t you want to know what I need your help for?”
“Short of giving Jessie a bath, I’m good.”
She laughed. “That one you will never have to worry about. If it comes to me needing you to help give him a bath, I’ll just spray him down in the front yard.”
“Now that I’d like to help with.”
“Shut up. I need to find Joy.”
“Joy, as in the baby’s mother?”
“Yep.”
“Does Jessie know about this? Teagan, you need to tread softly on all things around this situation. At least until you guys are on solid ground and everything. Subtlety has never been your strong suit.”
“True. Yes, Jessie knows. He’s the one that asked me if I could think of anything. She has disappeared again. Took the baby with her.”
“What about the cops?”
“They don’t have a custody arrangement yet, so there isn’t a lot the cops can or will do. I’m not sure which.”
“Does he think she’s in town? She could be anywhere.”
“He’s confident she’s either local or in Texas.”
“Why Texas?”
“She has family there.”
“Has he called them?”
“She doesn’t have anything to do with them.”
“How does he know that?”
“She told him, when they were dating.”
“Well, she seems to have a bit of a problem telling the truth, so I’m not sure how much faith I would have in anything she tells him.”
“Good point. I figured I would snoop around here for a while, and if I find her, great. If I don’t, then maybe he will have to hire a private detective or something.”
“I’ll help you in any way I can, you know that. If we don’t find her, we can always ask Adeline, Carolyn, and Anna. They seem to have a talent for finding people.”
“Don’t doubt that I would. It can’t be good for a baby to be pulled in all different directions. They can’t really have a good schedule or anything if Joy keeps running off with her.”
“Did he say why she left?”
“They had a court appearance that she was supposed to be at. She’s so crazy she was probably scared the judge would take the baby.”
“Well, if she had a court appearance and didn’t show up, won’t the courts look for her?”
“They just continued it. Jessie’s lawyer says they may do that several times. In the interim, he’s going nuts. He’s worried.”
I kept my mouth shut. What I wanted to say was that he’d had the better part of a year to work on all this and make sure that his ducks were in a row, but he chose not to do anything. Now that the baby was here and was in danger — at least emotionally — he was going to jump up and down and play at being the good father? I didn’t like it.
I didn’t have to.
I wasn’t the one marrying Jessie.
Not that I was sure Teagan would either.
I tried to focus on the conversation. “What do you want me to do?”
“I don’t have a clue. I’ve got about three things here on my desk that I have to take care of, and then I can pull a Honey. Can you be ready to be brilliant in about half an hour?”
“I’m brilliant now.”
“Dingleberry, I’m serious. I need help.”
“I’ll be ready.”
Teagan showed up in skinny jeans and a blouse. She must have left her blazer in the car. She wasn’t the type to go to the office so casual. As if reading my mind she said, “My blazer and shoes are in the car. I changed into some flats, just in case we have to run or something.”
“Don’t go all Starsky and Hutch on me, Teagan.”
“Starsky and Hutch? Really?”
“Sorry, A.J. made me sit through one of their shows. The original. He has a shoot to do, and the geezers want to recapture it, or something like that.”
“Geezers?”
“Their word, not A.J.’s. They belong to some group called Geezers with Gumption or something like that. They have all these social things they do, and they raise money for charity and generally enjoy their golden years.”
“I like that.”
“Me, too. For them. If I ever join something like that, Teagan, shoot me.”
“I’ll be happy to shoot you. Long before you do anything like that, if you like. Tonight, if you don’t help me find the baby.”
“Teagan, I’ve been good, but I can’t do it anymore. You need to tell me about the baby. At least her name.”
“I’m praying Jessie will be able to change it.”
“It can’t be that bad.”
“Joynessa Poppyseed Melnick.”
“Her last name is Melnick? That must be Joy’s last name.”
“No, Joy’s last name is Smith. She just likes the sound of Melnick.”
“You can give your kid a name that you just pull out of your…”
“Evidently you can name your kid anything you want. Jessie is going to try to get that straightened out when he gets everything else straightened out. For right now, we call her Poppy.”
“That’s kind of pretty. It’s better than a lot of things she could have come up with.”
“Really? Like what?”
“I was talking to a woman at the store the other day. A teacher. She said one of her students is named Klamedia.”
“Chlamydia?”
“Yep, but spelled differently. Her mother just likes the sound of it.”
“She named her daughter after a sexually transmitted disease? Why didn’t somebody stop her?”
“I imagine the nurses tried, but parents do terrible things to their children.”
“God, I hope she has a beautiful middle name that she can use until she’s old enough to change her name legally.”
“The teacher was encouraging kids to call her Nivea. She liked it. Hopefully it will stick.”
Teagan shrugged. “Poppy is sounding pretty good. So what are we going to do?”
“Do you have a phone number for Joy?”
“Yes, but she isn’t going to answer if Jessie calls, and she isn’t going to answer if I call. That’s why she took off. Jessie was stupid enough to tell her I know all about her and am going to stand by him.”
“Are you?”
“We’re working on it.”
“I thought she took off because of court.”
“It’s a bunch of stuff. It’s court. It’s me. It’s Jessie standing up to her. It’s the fact that Jessie is respectable and she isn’t. He’s a homeowner. He has a good job. He could provide Poppy a good home, and she knows it, and she doesn’t want to lose the baby.”
“Okay. Then all you have to do is find her and assure her that you want to be a support system, not take the baby from her.”
“I can’t do that.”
“We’ll find her.”
“I know, but Jessie is thinking about taking the baby. He thinks she’s an unsafe mother. That she’s going to ruin the kid. Put her in bad situations. All that.”
“And how do you feel about that?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t even figured out how I feel about him being a father and not telling me. Now I have to figure out how I feel about him being a full-time dad.”
“And you being a full-time stepmother.”
“Right now, we just need to find her.”
“So we have a number that we think will work?”
“Yes.”
“How badly do you want to find her?”
“Badly.”
“I can call Roland, Adeline’s security guy. I’m not sure how much it will cost, but he has access to things that normal people don’t have access to, and if her phone was built in this century, then chances are good that it has a GPS thingy, and he can track it. I think.”
“Do it.”
“What’s your budget?”
“I don’t care.”
“Spoken like someone’s mother.”
“Shut up and call him, dingleberry.”
Roland was unavailable, but I was able to get the information I needed, and one of his staff said that they would get back to me as soon as they had information. When I asked that the billing come to me directly and not be put on Adeline’s account, there was a moment of silence and then a “sure” in an overly sunny tone.
I bet this is going to cost a fortune.
About five minutes later, Candy called. She works for Roland. I’m not sure what she does, but I’m beginning to think that she has been assigned to me. Every time I call and ask for something, it’s Candy that calls back.
“Cara, we have the information you requested. The subject is at 17171 Borghden. Do you need directions or backup?”
“How long has she been there? Can you tell?”
“About twelve hours.”
“Okay. Thanks. We don’t need any help. It’s a personal thing. More for my sister than for me. There isn’t going to be any trouble.”
“I’ll text you the coordinates. You put that into your GPS, and it will take you right to the place. Are you okay? Are you sure you don’t want me to send a couple of the guys?” She let go of her ultra professional affectation and sounded much younger and friendlier. “If you get mixed up in the middle of something, Roland is gonna kill me.”
“I’m not mixed up in anything. Long story. No violence. No crazy people. I’m good.”
When I’d hung up, Teagan had to comment. “You lied. She is crazy.”
“I don’t know that. I’ve only got your word for it, and it’s secondhand from Jessie. Jessie thinks you‘re sane, so obviously he isn’t a good judge of such things.”
“Shut up, dingleberry. Where are we going?”
I gave her the address.
“Let’s go.” She was on her way to the door.
“Hang on a minute. You don’t know where we’re going or what it looks like. Give me two seconds to look it up. She’s been there for twelve hours. She isn’t going anywhere, or if she does, she’ll be back. You can’t go in blind. You might only have one shot at talking to her. Calmly. Remember?”
“I thought you said she would go back there if she left. If you think I’ve only got one shot, shouldn’t we hurry?”
“Don’t make me hurt you, Teagan. You don’t get to throw my words back in my face if I don’t get a chance to think about what I’m gonna say. Have you ever met Joy? Does she know what you look like?”
“I’ve never met her. I guess if she showed up at Jessie’s after the baby was born, she might have seen a picture of me, or she might have seen me coming and going if she was spying on him. Why?”
“Because if she sees you, she might run. Running with a baby is worse than running with a scissors. We just can’t have that. I’ll go up and talk to her.”
“I can’t ask you to do that, Cara. We don’t know what she’s gonna do.”
“You didn’t ask me. I volunteered. She’ll be fine. There won’t be any problem. I feel okay about it.”
“You sound like Mom.”
“From your lips to God’s ears.”
“See?”
“Mom would handle this really well, so let’s just hope that I do sound like Mom. Are you going to call Jessie and tell him we found her?”
“Nope. We didn’t find her yet. I’m gonna text him and tell him we might have come up with something, we’re going to check it out, and we’ll let him know what we find. Are you going to let A.J. know?”
“Yep. He and I have a new agreement. A commitment? I’m not sure what to call it, but we decided that we’re not going to be quite so independent any more. We have gotten into the habit of turning to each other after the fact. That’s not good.”
Teagan shrugged. “It isn’t that you got into that habit. It’s just that’s the way you have always been, and when he came along, you didn’t adjust. You’re adjusting now. That’s a good thing.”
“I like your version better. I’m gonna stick with it.”
“Smart woman. Let’s go, dingleberry. Before she takes off.”
“My car. She might know yours.”
“Okay. Whatever happens… never mind. That was a stupid thing to say.”
“You didn’t say it. What?”
“I was going to say whatever happens, just make sure the baby’s okay.”
“I’m telling you, Teagan. You sound like you have already bonded with the kid.”
“Shut up. Let’s go.”
Teagan typed the address into the GPS while I drove. We got there pretty quickly. It was a nice little apartment complex, not all that far away from Jessie’s place. If Teagan noticed, she didn’t say anything.
“Which apartment?”
“I don’t know. I’ll go look on the mailboxes.”
“They don’t put names on mailboxes anymore.”
“They do in places like this. There can’t be more than twenty units.”
“Fine, I’ll go with you.”
“No. Remember, she might recognize you, Teagan. Take my car and drive around the block. Keep your phone on your lap. If I call, get your butt right here. Quickly.”
“Quickly?”
“Yeah, either something went wrong, or it’s time to go. If I want you to come up to the apartment, I’ll text you with the apartment number.”
“Fine. Be careful, dingleberry. We don’t want a repeat of Barry.”
“You had to go there? Somehow, I don’t think Joy is going to beat the crap out of me.”
“We don’t know if Joy’s alone.”
“I’m good. Trust me.”
“Am I on speed dial? Cara, if you need to call me, you might not have time to dial.”
“Close enough. You’re on recent calls. All I have to do is hit you on the list, and the phone will dial you.”
“If I don’t hear from you in fifteen minutes, I’m coming in.”
“You don’t even know which apartment.”
“I’ll scream until you answer.”
“You’re good at that.”
“Don’t you forget it.”
I was right, and Teagan wasn’t even there to rub her nose in it. The mailbox for apartment three had the name Smith on it. One of those old-time labels that you don’t see much anymore. The ones with the raised letters. Black print on a yellow label. It made the whole set of mailboxes look cute and a little kitschy. I liked it.
I texted Teagan that I thought number three was the apartment we wanted, and I was headed that way.
I still wasn’t sure what I was going to say if Joy answered the door.
When the door opened, I had no doubt it was Joy on the other side. She was beautiful. Prettier than Teagan, although if you quote me on that, I’ll deny it. She had lost all the baby weight already and had a killer body. She had chestnut hair to her waist, really thick. She had braided the front, what most people would use for bangs, and stuck the braid behind her ear. It was a simple style, but gorgeous on her. Her eyes were huge and bright green, and she did that thing where you tightline them. I’ve been trying to master that technique. You basically apply eyeliner in between your lashes, or some people say at the very base of your lashes. You can do it on that little part of your eyelid that’s between your eyeball and the lashes. Waterline? It makes your lashes look thicker and your eyes look bigger. Joy has the technique down. Perfectly. Her eyes looked huge, and her lashes were full and thick and long, and if she was wearing makeup other than liner and mascara, she’d done it so artfully I couldn’t tell. She really didn’t need makeup. Her face was perfect. Like her body.
Jerk.
“Hi. Joy?”
“Who wants to know?”
“My name is Cara.”
“How’d you find me?”
So she knew who I was. Well, that’s something. Obviously, Jessie wasn’t keeping the O’Flynns a secret from Joy, even though he kept Joy a secret from the O’Flynns. Sometimes having a less than common name is helpful.
I guess I didn’t answer fast enough.
“Doesn’t matter. Now that you know where I am, they’ll all know soon enough. Come on in. It’s not like taking off is going to do me any good at this point. You’ve probably got somebody sitting on my car anyway, and I need the baby seat, or I can’t go anywhere.”
I followed her into the apartment. It was a nice little place. Clean. Smelled of something wonderful on the stove.
She was defiant but held her head high and had some grace about it. “You came to take my daughter away from me, didn’t you?”
“No.”
“Yes, you did.”
“No, I didn’t. And if you thought I did, why did you let me in your house?” The thought that she intended to cut me up into little pieces and put me down the garbage disposal came to mind. A little dramatic, yes, but Teagan had primed that pump when she brought up Barry.
“I’m tired of running. I’ve been running since I was fourteen years old.”
“Can we sit?”
“Sure.” Suddenly, she seemed so deflated, I actually felt sorry for her. Maybe she wasn’t the bad guy in this little scenario. Maybe it was Jessie that was the bad guy, and he’d just blamed all this drama on Joy. It wouldn’t be the first time that one side of an argument blamed the other side. Duh. Why do we always automatically take the side of the person we know best or care about? Like if they know us, they must be better than the other person or something.
We sat in very uncomfortable silence for a moment. I can’t do that. I know if you want to get the truth out of somebody you’re supposed to let the silence take over, but I can’t. I’m the one spilling my guts. If I ever get arrested, just start baking a cake with a file in it, because I’m going to jail even if I wasn’t any part of it. I can’t keep my mouth shut, and I would say something that they could wind into a guilty verdict even if I was a thousand miles away. “How can we help?”
She laughed. “What? You didn’t come here to help. You came here to take my baby. You people have all the money and all the contacts, and all I’ve got is my daughter.”
“Actually, it isn’t about you, and it isn’t about Jessie, and it isn’t about my sister. It’s about your daughter. Whatever is best for her. If staying with you is best, then that’s what should happen.”
“Easy words, but if they’re true, why are you even here?”
“Because you disappeared. That’s not a good thing. Both parents of a child have a right to know where the child is and that they’re safe and well cared for. You know that your daughter is happy and healthy and has everything a baby needs, but it isn’t good if Jessie has no way of knowing all that.”
“Easy words. You know, he told me all about you guys.”
I decided to try to keep it light. “Really? He told you about us? I can imagine some of the things he’s told you about me. He hasn’t always been my biggest fan.” I gave her a smile.
“Not when we were first dating or anything. That would have been weird. But later, after he told me to get lost because he would rather be with your sister.”
“I’m sorry if that hurt you. I was under the impression that it was you that left him. Having someone walk away when you’re expecting their child has got to be really painful.” One part of me hoped she was going to tell me the same thing that Jessie told Teagan, and the other part of me hoped she was actually a nice lady. Maybe all the drama was temporary, and, in the end, it would all calm down, and Poppyseed would have a great gene pool, but I doubted it.
“I bet he told you I’m crazy, right?”
“He hasn’t told me anything. It’s between him and my sister.”
“That’s such a lie. If that’s true, then why are you here?”
“Because you scared everybody. My sister showed up at my apartment and said that we needed to find the baby. Because of the people I work with, I can find anybody.” I wanted her to be aware that if she did take off with Poppy, we would be fast on her trail.
I didn’t hate her yet, but I didn’t trust her either.
I continued, trying to keep my voice warm and accepting. “You know, my mother told me all my life that you don’t hide what you’re proud of. If you’re proud of the way you’re raising your daughter, if you know in your heart that you’re a good mom and all that, then why hide?”
“Did your mom tell you what to do if a guy tries to take your baby? If you get pregnant, and then he freaks the hell out, and you’re on your own for months while he finds another woman to spend his time and money on? Then he comes back when she says she wants your kid. What the hell am I supposed to do? He’s gonna marry her. He never even offered to let me move into his condo. He’s all about her, and where does that leave me and Joynessa?”
“It leaves you in the minority, but just barely.”
“What does that mean?”
“Almost half the kids in the country are either living with a single parent or have lived with a single parent. Actually, it might be more than half. I have all that information put aside for my boss, but I can’t exactly remember the numbers. The important thing to know is that you aren’t alone. There are millions of single mothers in the world today. They make it work. You can make it work, too. If you want to.”
“Easy words.”
“I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m saying that you put Poppy as your highest priority, and you make it work. You don’t need the instant gratification of having it your way or always being right. You need to make this about your daughter.”
“How many kids do you have?”
“None.”
“Then what makes you think you know anything about any of this?”
“I’ve never lit myself on fire, but I know not to do it. I haven’t won a hundred million dollars — yet — but I know my first step would be to find the perfect financial planner or money person or whatever you call them. I don’t need to have children to know that children always come first. I was a child, and that’s how my parents raised us, and it worked.”
“Yes, I heard all about it. Your sister is the perfect woman. Even after Jess told her everything, she kept him. She didn’t take off. That’s what I would have done.”
“If you know all about my family, you know that we’re a big anchor. That means an O’Flynn isn’t likely to take off. It also means if you’re drowning, a huge anchor might not be the most comforting thing, but it does keep you in one place.”
“I don’t have anything like that.”
“I’m sorry that you don’t. Speaking of the O’Flynns, I need to text Teagan and tell her that we’re good.”
“What did you think I was gonna do?”
“I hoped that you would talk to me. That we could get to know each other a little bit. That things would be fine. But I don’t know you at all, and it wasn’t so long ago that someone I thought I knew really well turned on me. I got pretty broken. I’m a little bit paranoid.”
“Been there. I’ve gotten the shit kicked out of me by every guy I’ve ever been with.”
I couldn’t help the knee jerk reaction. “Jessie hit you?”
“No, not him. I guess that’s why I thought we would be able to work everything out. He was the first guy ever that treated me really nice. Brought me to nice places. Opened doors for me. We were really good together until your sister showed up. He threw me to the side. Didn’t even care that I was pregnant. Your sister is the reason that I’m all screwed up.”
I texted Teagan. Told her that Joy and I were talking. That she was NOT to come to the door. Just hang out until I texted back.
Over an hour later, I texted her again: Pick me up where you dropped me off.