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Darcy was pleased that Elizabeth came down to breakfast without her parents. He’d arrived early and only taken coffee, hoping for such an outcome. He put aside his paper and stood when she entered. “Good morning.”
“Good morning, Mr. Darcy,” she said, coming to a halt a few steps inside the doorway.
She looked about the room, as though daunted. Darcy glanced around as well, finding all in good order. It was, he supposed, a more lavish room than the breakfast parlor at Netherfield, but that was to be expected. This, after all, was Pemberley.
“Please, come eat,” he said, gesturing between the table and the sideboard. “I was hoping you would break your fast with me.”
She nodded, moving to the sideboard. As they served themselves, he kept glancing at her, trying to assess her mood. He hoped she wasn’t angry with him. It was, of course, quite obvious that he hadn’t been completely truthful with her about his situation. Still, it could only be counted as a pleasant surprise, couldn’t it?
They returned to the table, Elizabeth taking a seat beside him. She began to eat, not speaking other than to request he pass her items. He searched for something innocuous to say, hampered by his desire to address the real issue between them, his lack of forthrightness. At one point in his life, he would have brought the matter up right there, in the parlor, but he’d realized during their time at Netherfield that Elizabeth didn’t ignore servants. After some of his experiences with Wickham, he no longer did, either, though he suspected her reasons were more humane.
“When can we expect to see your mother and father this morning?” he finally asked. “I believe your father took several books from the library to his bedroom, but I don’t know if he intended to read them then.”
“I’m sure he did,” she said. “He was very impressed with your library. I imagine he read well into the night and hadn’t even woken yet.”
“And your mother?” he asked.
“Your housekeeper told her she could have breakfast on a tray in her room. It is an unaccustomed luxury for her and she planned to take advantage of it. It will be an hour or two before we see her.”
They finished eating in silence, as Darcy could think of nothing more to say.
“I would like to show you the grounds. Could you be ready soon?” Darcy asked, rising as she stood.
She gave him an odd look. For a moment, he thought she might refuse. Finally, she nodded. “I’ll be ready shortly. Please excuse me.”
Darcy watched her leave. He’d rarely felt so relieved over a simple acquiescence. He did want to show her the grounds, for he knew her fondness for nature, but he also very much wanted to speak to her privately. He didn’t like this distance between them, and knew it was his fault.
When she returned, they stepped out into a cold day. Glancing at her, her hand on his arm as she walked beside him, stirred memories of another walk, the day he’d proposed. He was ruefully amused to realize that, while they’d finally been left alone and might be able to steal a few kisses, holding her in his arms would be hampered by the bulky, cool weather clothing they both wore.
They walked for several long moments in a strained silence. “You’re displeased with me,” he finally said. He didn’t need to make it a question.
“There were clues I should have seen, but didn’t,” she said with a trace of anger in her tone. “You deceived me.”
“I told you that I was wealthier than I pretended to be as Mr. Harvey, and that I could support you.”
“Support me?” she repeated. She cast him a reproving look. “This goes well beyond support.”
“I thought you’d be pleasantly surprised,” he said.
She stopped and turned to face him, frowning. He eyed the short distance between them, which somehow seemed larger than it should. He didn’t want her frowning. He wanted her happy, smiling, and looking at him with love in her eyes. There had to be something he could say to make things right. How did one apologize for having a significant amount of wealth? It wasn’t something he’d been made to do before.
She opened her mouth before he could speak. “I thought that, in marrying you, the only advantage I gained was a chance to regain my reputation. I didn’t care, though. I didn’t need anything more than that. I didn’t care that you had little to your name, and what you did have must go to Georgiana. I wanted to marry you because I love you, and you claimed you love me. Now I find I will only bring you down in the eyes of your peers, for marrying a low, tarnished woman. You are far above me in—”
“No,” he interrupted firmly. No one would ever be allowed to say his Elizabeth was beneath him, even her. “I’m not above you. I’m the man who skulked around using another name. I’m the man who pretended to be what I wasn’t. I’m the man who endangered my good friend Bingley and his lovely wife and their heir. I never have been, and never will be, above you in any way. Elizabeth, please say you’ll forgive me?”
She took a step closer, looking up at him with narrowed eyes. “If you promise you won’t deceive me again.”
He gazed down at her, noticing how her lips twitched at the corners before dropping his gaze to her neck. He could see the quick pace of her pulse. Something in her manner, the way she leaned closer to him, bespoke of someone who wasn’t truly angry. He felt a smile tug at his lips. Smiling had never been so easy, so natural, as when he was with Elizabeth.
“It’s partially your fault, you know,” he said.
“My fault,” she repeated, but the indignation in her voice didn’t ring true.
“You’re the one who went and fell in love with a man obviously lacking in moral fiber.”
“That’s true,” she said, giving every appearance of considering his words. Her gaze wandered over his face.
“You knew I was lying about my name. I think it was a safe assumption that I wasn’t being entirely honest about other things, as well.”
“Yes, but who would think any man would lie about all of this.” Her gesture encompassed the house and grounds, but she didn’t look away from his face. Her eyes went wide. “When you said, you never thought any woman would say they wished to marry you even though you were poor...” She glared at him. “You were laughing at me.”
“I was,” he said. He leaned close, so he could whisper in her ear. “I told you, I’m disreputable.”
She shivered, but he didn’t think it was with the cold. She turned her head, so their lips nearly touched. “If you were truly disreputable, you would kiss me, Fitzwilliam.”
Darcy didn’t need any more encouragement than that. He wasn’t, after all, such a rogue that he would deny a lady a simple request.
By the time he managed to regain some semblance of reason and recall they were standing in full view of the house, he was feeling quite warm, in spite of the weather. Elizabeth was flushed, her eyes glowing in a way that almost robbed him of his sanity once more. To maintain it, he angled away, offering her his arm so she would walk beside him, as it was impossible to think clearly with her standing before him looking like that.
“You will promise, though, won’t you?” she asked, after they’d walked in silence for a time.
“Not to deceive you again?”
“Yes. It’s important, Fitzwilliam.”
He loved hearing his name on her lips. “I promise you, Elizabeth, my love, that I will not deceive you again.”
“Good.”
“That is, if you’ll forgive me one other thing?”
She cast him a startled glance. “What is that?”
“I paid Captain Carter to marry your sister Lydia. After speaking with her at dinner, I realized she was bound to behave in such a way that would bring shame to your family.”
“But, Mother said he had ten thousand pounds. You paid him ten thousand pounds?” She was clearly shocked.
“No. Only five thousand. He had five thousand before.”
“Only five thousand?”
He shrugged. What could he say?
“But, we hardly knew each other then.”
“I told myself I was doing it for the Bingleys, but I really did it for you. I know we knew each other even less then, but I meant it when I told you I started to love you at Rosings.”
“I hardly paid attention to you at Rosings.” She cast him an apologetic look. “You will have to forgive me for that.”
“So long as you pay attention to me from now on,” he said in a low voice.
Instead of answering, she stopped walking and turned into his waiting arms, where she gave him her full attention.
